Protected: Poor & Miserable Creature, The Dee-yor has Landed, Vuitton Spring/Summer ’06, STOP THE HOMOCIDE!, Norwegians Wanted.
You Got the Love
Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air. I know I can count on you. Sometimes I feel like saying "lord I just don’t care", but you’ve got the love I need to see me through.
It’s 7:50AM and I’m off to bed after this post. I’m gonna clean up and crop my blog to a reasonable length as soon as I’ve risen from my rivotril-induced
coffin beauty sleep. The entire page is just far too long and I think it’s high time for me to just create some sort of a "Classic Bryanboy" drop-down thing with some of my Academy Award-winning posts.
Here’s my final abuse to those of you on dialup and homoerectus-era internet connections: I am proud to present you the boys who have a special place in my heart.
Yeah yeah. Whatever.
Fall in line bitches. One at a time. If you want to go technical I can only manage three at a time. Ok, maybe four because I have 2 hands.
Especially Alex. Oh yes, Alex. I love you too.
D as in D, there’s still that "Erin O’Connor" thing ever since I first saw you.
Time after time I say oh lord what’s the use, time after time I say this just won’t do. But sooner or later in life the things you love you’ll lose… just like before I know I call on you.
Send me pictures of love, love and even more love. Bombard my email account: email@example.com. Genuine, true and unconditional love only please – NO photoshop.
Goodnight! Good morning.
August Horoscope Fun
I don’t usually believe all this astrological, metaphysical and "psychic" hoolabaloo. I mean, would you really entrust your future on the advice of some bandana-wearing, big, old, fat bitch with an overturned fishbowl as her "crystal ball"?
Just imagine how many people out there who share the same zodiac sign (Aries) as I do.
Back when I was much, much younger (like 11 or 12), I used to call those US$3.99/minute "psychic hotlines" on a regular basis until my parents saw our phone bill and gave me a good slap in the face. I was so gullible back then. In reality however, those tele-"psychics" are probably bored housewives who ain’t got anything to do with their lives so they just spit off whatever they can think of to each and every caller they get.
How did I know they were fakes?
You see, I could easily pass off as a woman over the phone and those damn psychic-wannabes have always thought I’m a girl whenever I call them. I used to ask them silly questions like "when am I gonna get pregnant" or "when am I gonna have a boyfriend".
Did they knew I’m not really a girl but someone with 2 eggs and a hotdog?
I doubt it.
Here’s what Harper’s Bazaar said, who gave a couple of pages to Gisele Bundchen (just let the damn bitch die) this month:
(this is where I spent more than 30 minutes looking for other August ’05 magazines only to realize I left them in the car that my sister used to go to work today)
I’ll do a Part Deux later when she gets back.
That Citegay French Personals website is fun! I always get a ton of real-time messages whenever I go online there. The quality of the guys aren’t that bad either… at least compared to Fridae where most of the guys who message me are viagra-induced, wrinkly, old, hairy, obese crippled pensioners on their deathbed.
Take a look at some of the messages that I got (and the people who sent them) from that site. Click each thumbnail to see the full version. Some of them are cute, some of them aren’t my type – too butch, too straight acting, too hairy, too rough-looking, too old, too smelly, too masculine, too this and that.
Now, now, Tina Daniac – when are we going to enroll at Alliance Française for serious French lessons?
Speaking of boys, guess who wanted to add me to his Myspace account earlier…
Meet Brandon. He’s not too bad for a faggot is he? He’s hot in some pics, he’s alright in others. But he seems to be nice. So go boys (sorry girls) — hit on him before he vanishes.
One for the Girls
Enough of my gay guy hopping madness. This one is for any Rice Queen straight girls out there.
I browsed a copy of People Asia magazine and came across this guy. God knows whether he’s into boys or girls but I’ll stay on the safe side and assume he’s straight. He’s quite a looker, non? His name is Victor Consuji.(what is it with Filipinos and the name Victor?)
More regurgitation later.
I need to have dinner. One tablespoon of raisins, a bottle of evian, a packet of Marlboro Lights, some xanax and some fingers-up-the-throat purge action in the toilet.
As always, email me – firstname.lastname@example.org.
Breaking Newsflash: Earthquake in Japan!
Dead Rabbits Society
It’s finally here! I picked up my dead rabbit scarf/shawl/whatever at Vuitton last Friday, right on schedule. The Manila store had to do a special order for me from Paris. Apparently it’s super, super rare. It’s just like it is on the men’s runway except it’s a bit wider… and shorter than what I expected.
Who gives a flying fuck on all the dead rabbits used to create this wonderful, soft, warm piece. PETA can go spill paint all over my ass ala Sprouse, may god bless his soul wherever he is now. I love it though. I’m sure it will go to good use – keep my neck warm during my winter wonderland escapade later this year.
It’s a gorgeous little number that will look good with a plain white tank top or t-shirt, some fitted jeans and a knee-length or above-the-knee beige coat. Fantastic!
Sunday Shopping Fix
I was bored on Sunday afternoon so I called my gal pal Tina and thought we’d meet up to spend some time together.
Went straight to the Chanel counter at Rustan’s and bought Ruban Perle (Moonlight) and Double Perfection Fluide (45 Rose). Also went to Shu Uemura to get a new brush.
Took a quick trip where the clothes are, found nothing interesting but being the shopaholic me, I ended up buying a pair of brown, striped Baby Phat trousers. I know, I know, don’t laugh. Baby Phat is best for 14-16 year old girls in the Bronx but fuck it, the pants looked good on me. I also bought a T-shirt from Spanish designer Muchaha and a top from Anna Sui. All of them are old stock and are on sale.
Super Kawaii Origami
I’ll leave the Art of Origami to the Japanese.
Tina and I had an emergency Sunday craving for crabs (no, not the STD variety) so we decided to rush to The Red Crab restaurant. While waiting for Xeng, I huffed, puffed and folded one of paper placemats to create a paper crab.
Let me tell you in advance that it’s fuckin difficult. I followed the instructions religiously (see below) but my crab ended up as… crap.
After Red Crab, the three of us went to Nuvo for some hot tea and gin tonic.
Sunday was a great day indeed.
Sister’s Hell Hole Office Mates
I was cleaning out my camera because my memory stick is full and god knows how my sister’s office mates got in there. I know she borrows my camera from time to time. Take one good look at these photos.
So these are what British Expats in the third world do eh? Oh. My. God.
At least they aren’t wearing chav scum outfits. Hahahahahaha!
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
Big shout out to my devotees from Singapore and Central Africa – Congo to be exact! Bryanboy loves y’all out there, particularly Gloria M.!
Mademoiselle Celine R. Lopez – don’t I deserve a full color page after the almighty Queen Noor abused my brains? If only you knew how tormenting it was for me to answer questions. My 2 brain cells are as used and abused as a Makati Avenue pick up truck. *grin* Hope to see you soon!
Do designer clothes make you fashionable? Click here. I’d love to see the faces (and the looks) of the people behind their posts.
Here’s a pin I got for about $3 from a Vintage Shop. This message goes out to "he knows who he is". I bet he’s probably getting that mushy, mushy, "yeah I guess I love you too" feeling right now as he’s reading this message. It’s all about you babe – YOU, YOU and YOU.
Don’t deny yourself the fact that I love you. All you need to do is to reciprocate. Tell me you love me too and kiss me the next time you see me, if there will ever be a next time. Otherwise, buy me a Not Rational "Amy" bag for US$475. Click the pic for a larger image.
Whoever you are, wherever you are in the world, send me love via SMS Message at +63-915-785-1492. If you don’t have money to send me SMS, bombard my email account with messages of love, hate and cute guys with note-worthy jewels: Bryanty@gmail.com.
Gag Reflex vs Gag Orders
As someone who has dealt with enough species of the male human kind, let me tell you upfront that the only thing worse than a blowjob gag reflex is a self-issued gag order.
Not too long ago, I remember being asked this (ok, perhaps not with the same verbiage) question several times:
“Do you ever feel pressure that you have to satisfy your readers with content?”
I’ve always been consistent with my answer.
NO, I’ve never felt any pressure from anyone or any outside forces of nature whatsoever. My blog has always been some sort of a sperm/blood bank of my personal purges – I flush whatever it is that I see/feel during a certain time.
I don’t give a flying fuckahontas about what people think. Some people (thank god) get “it”, whatever it is… and some people don’t.
It’s my little corner of the world wide web and it’s all about me – me, me and me.
Let’s face it, why the heck would I even attempt to satisfy readers when my short-term priority is to satisfy myself first amongst others, make myself happy and live how I want to live?
Perhaps I should state the unobvious: I do, to an extent, get a certain amount of personal satisfaction when I “unknowingly”, without any effort on my part, make other people happy – in other words, I just do what I want to do, say what I say, like it has always been, and whenever there are people coming up to me, telling me that I make them happy, I’m happy.
One loyal reader even pointed out, in person (oh yes), that the best thing she likes about me is the fact that I don’t do bullshit. I’m just “out there”, pouring out whatever it is I want to pour out.
Fuck what everyone else thinks.
Ah, the mantra we all would like to live by. You’ll probably get that ‘impression’ the first time you see me. I think this is how I’ve lived after all these years. Without that lucky phrase, god knows how I’ll survive in a country whose society lives by the “This is How We Do Things Handbook of Life”.
Over the weekend, I opened up to a couple of friends on how things are taking a turn recently.
A person can only take so much flak before he/she reaches a breaking point.
I think I’ve reached that point already.
After seeing/hearing negativity, I couldn’t help being affected by such crap.
I genuinely admire those, who over time, develop some sort of a ‘numbing shield’ to such negativity. I’ve had that numbing shield for years but like what I said, it does break down at one point.
I know there is no way we can please everyone. Oh yes. It’s just impossible. Besides, why should anyone try to please everyone.
But then again, for some strange reason, I have this little (fuck yeah), little teeny voice hiding inside my esophagus that screams ala Ashlee Simpson that says that I don’t want to offend anyone either.
Acid reflux anyone?
One friend said that instead of being affected by crap, you use that negativity away and let it inspire you to do things better.
But doesn’t that translate that you have to change yourself?
Doesn’t it mean that you’re giving up a certain part of yourself/your personality just to satisfy others?
Bottom line: doesn’t it mean that you eventually DID get affected by such negativity?
Another friend said that I should just plain blank ignore the crap and just do things MY WAY. How I should never, ever, ever change myself despite anything.
That’s the sort of answer that I have in my head. And that’s what I’m more inclined to do.
There are just so many things I’d like to whine and write about but my self-issued gag order prohibits me from blowing the whistle and sing Scooby-scooby-doo-where-are-you?
Enough rambling. I think we’re going in circles. I can’t even say what I want to say in an eloquent manner.
I’d love to hear what you think. Feel free to post comments or as always, email email@example.com. If you really, really love me, send me an SMS message: +63-915-785-1492.
To be honest, I think I’d rather settle for the lesser evil. I’ll suck a cock instead of giving myself a gag order. Any offers?
[Edited 08/15/05 - 2:13AM: I just fixed a bug on the "comments" section. I got a couple of emails telling me you guys are getting a 404 error when you click on the comments link. Now that it's working (yay) - blast me with comments and fire away!]
Stop the emails about the car crash ‘gay’ smut pictures NOW.
Despite the fact that my mere 2 brain cells are nagging that I should post those 4 pictures here, unfortunately, I have to follow my heart.
It’s just one of those moments where you have to follow what your heart says instead of your brain.
I am bound by secrecy and have been requested by some of my friends NOT to post them anywhere (although they’ve passed it on to quite a few people in the party).
In fact, I was the last one who saw it!
Where was I when those pictures were taken?
I can’t believe I was GONE!
I just can’t believe y’all did that.
*cry* *laugh* *cry* *laugh*
Anyway, I don’t wanna wreck relationships — I value the relationships that I have with my friends more, than, say, the emotional satisfaction that you’ll get if I post them here.
The only reason why I brought it up here yesterday is the fact that I want to flush it out of my system. And in some ways, believe it or not, this blog has been sort of therapeutic to me.
But boy oh boy, I’m sure what they did was done all in the name of fun.
At first I thought it was funny… and artsy.
But after more than 10 hours of sleep and sobering up, uh, erm, uh, I’m not sure.
I dunno what to feel. Sad? Sorry?
Was it done in a bad taste or was it done just purely out of fun?
Blech. I don’t wanna talk about it. Here I am overanalyzing things again. (har har) That’s one of my diseases I suppose.
Stop the emails.
I don’t want to talk about it. Please make this the last time you/I will bring it up.
I toyed around cropping bits and pieces here and there so just be satisfied and contented with it.
I really don’t want to think about it EVER again.
I’lll update in a bit. I’m starving!
Rapunzel’s Getting a Haircut
I need a haircut. Badly. Like tomorrow.
The last time I got a haircut was probably what — 2 months ago? My hair is just ugh so long now that my head feels sooo heavy especially with all the
spunk gunk I put on it.
I don’t even need one of those fancy schmancy haircuts. I just want my hair cut very short and clean.
Friday Furs and Feathers
Went to the Shu Uemura party yesterday and it was a blast! Saw a ton of people from A to Z and boy the event was a success. I love the fake eyelashes – and yes – they even came in purple – but no – as pretty as they are fake eyelashes were, to me, at least to me, they’re like the cute cousin/married guy/straight guy you want to fuck – but you just can’t because the forces of nature won’t allow you to do so.
My excuse: despite my little lip gloss addiction, I’m still a boy, remember?
But to you real girls, long hair, breasts and vaginas out there, be sure to go to the nearest Shu Uemura counter pronto to see their fall/winter stuff.
I think I already told you lot that I love the rain, non? It’s been raining daily, non-stop, for the past 2 weeks now and sometimes, just sometimes, you just have to use that sort of weather to go ALL OUT when it comes to dressing up.
Fur? In Manila? That’s right bitches.
Fuck, if my memory serves me right, the last time I used fur in Manila was back when I was 15 or 16 and used to go to one of those "consortium" raves (icky factor that word: rave) back in the dark ages. Yep. I miss those bygone days where everyone doesn’t give a cow’s shit no matter what it is that you wear so it kinda gives you that go signal to be as crazy and creative etc. Effort at it’s finest.
As the 2 Tina-s that I know always say: "fight fight fight!" These days, you just have to fight… for survival. Pomp it up to the nines. Let bitches eat cake while you kick the floor with your heels and preen until yer eyesockets fall off. I love it. :)
(Moi at the Shu Uemura event)
Post-Shu, gal pal Tina D. and rushed off to the mall to buy booze etc.
Despite everyone being a couple of hours late (Manila Time is… Manila Time, which is pretty much getting up at 6AM and the only time you get a newspaper is the time when London’s Evening Standard goes on sale) on my little dinner party thing, I’m glad the ones I invited show up.
Heck, even I was late — invite said 8, I showed up around 8:30/9. Hah!
I know the dinner party invites were sent on such a short notice, it was a Friday… and some of the people I invited are very busy individuals with other pressing things to do on a Friday night. Some are even working. So even if they didn’t show up, it was perfectly understandable and there’s always a next time.
Actually, after last night’s dinner party, I don’t even know if there’s gonna be a next time.
I hope so.
I know myself, after booze and all, I can be completely OUT OF IT.
But the ones who did show up, are, well, fucking fun! Let’s face it – I’ve known most of these people for quite some time now (haha) and the original plan of this little dinner party is for it to be private and intimate.
And for the ones who I only got to spend some time with yesterday, well, I think you’re all nice, warm and friendly folks and I would most definitely want to see you again. It’s all good. I sincerely hope that you had fun as much as I did.
The moment everyone’s been waiting for (har har), let’s play pictionary shall we?
We still have a TON of booze left so if you want to do another party – give me a shout. Har Har.
Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for coming to my little dinner party.
Car Crash Camera
Oh god. Oh my fucking god. I still can’t believe it. I can’t. I just fucking can’t.
I just fucking can’t believe it.
Fuck it. As much as I want to keep it to myself (or should I say – to the people WHO KNOW), I just fucking need to purge this out of my system.
This is what happens if someone picks up your camera lying down somewhere and takes random pictures.
Forget a straight girl and a straight guy snogging. That’s nothing.
But those 4 pictures. Oh yes those 4 fucking pictures… are permanently etched in my head.
GAY SMUT at its finest.
I can’t believe you guys did that.
I think the million dollar question is – HOW?
I have emotional scars now dammit.
But gawd they’re HILARIOUS as fuck.
This will definitely go to the:
I would really appreciate if you do not bring this subject up ever again. Ever. Not now, not today, not tomorrow, not in 10 years time. That’s why I’m purging it out of my system now like a proper bullemic bitch. Once you’ve puked it out, off to the septic tank it goes.
Let’s pretend this never happened/I didn’t brought it up.
IT NEVER HAPPENED.
(what didn’t happen?)
(um, what the fuck are you talking about?)
That sort of thing.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
Jenni Jenni Jenni Jenni E – why the heck didn’t we have pictures of us twogether? I hope the next time I see you, we have a full-time papparazzi in tow. I love those boots! Tina D. was supposed to be little Ms. Photographer for the night but she decided to be "punong abala" or "hermana mayora". Hahahahahahaha!
Anyway, I like the name Prunella. Prunella Vulgaris to be exact. Apparently it’s a plant, too.
Thanks for dropping by at my little thingie majigie. ;)
I’ve got nothing else to say. I’m still having palpitations from those 4 pictures.
As always, email me – firstname.lastname@example.org.
And no, I’m not going to Godskitchen tonight.
Because God doesn’t have a kitchen and I’m anorexic and bullemic as fuck.
Can we go to the toilets instead?
(Suck my dick… Lick my ass)
My gut tells me that it’s going to be a beautiful day today. I slept early last night to make sure I get out of bed by 6AM — I did.
And there’s no other way to start my day than getting email presents! Here’s a really nice illustration by Irene A. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you (from the nicotine-covered walls of my cardiac arteries to the bottom of cocaine residue covered aorta) for starting my day nice. It’s sooooo beautiful! It’s just as beautiful as I am – and let me tell you, I am so beautiful that if only I could make a clone of myself and fly to Canada or friggin Belgium to marry him, have sex, have 3 kids and a dog, I fucking will!
Bryanboy loves you, Irene.
I’ve got a ton of stuff to do today…
1) Go to Tina’s place for a fitting session for my outfit
2) Get a haircut and a manicure
3) Buy booze and drinks for tonight’s dinner party
4) Buy flowers, party favors (no, not THAT kind of party favors)
5) Go to the caterers by lunch time
6) Take a quick look at the mall for last minute shopping.
7) Go to the Shu Uemura event at around 3:30PM
8) Go to my dinner party
9) Go to La Embajada (again) or wherever the wind blows me tonight.
I’m a bit nervous on my little dinner party/Shu Uemura afterparty that I’m throwing tonight. I haven’t thrown a dinner party in a long time. I hope the people I invited show up and the people I didn’t invited, well, since Manila only has 4 walls, can understand why I didn’t invite them, because it’s really a small, "private" party, that sort of thing.
Alright, maybe there’s inter-friend politics involved but bah. Friend A and Friend K hates Friend D, that sort of thing. I can’t please everyone ya know.
And I most definitely don’t want to please
everyone. Why should I bear all the pains in
this world? It’s like blaming me for whatever it
is that you want to blame on me: third world debt,
poverty, war against terror, your cheating husband,
your kids being on drugs, you getting fat, etc.
(Be sure to load your speakers’ volume up before ya click on that link)
The next time I throw a party it will celebrate "Bryanboy’s contribution to mankind" and I’ll invite everyone and I mean everyone, from New York to London and Reykjavik to Shanghai.
I’m gonna leave the house in about 1 hour so I’d better get going.
Don’t y’all hate morning breath? I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet!
And since it’s a Friday, I’ll use my "Weekend Going Out Coupon – valid 1 time use" today therefore I’ll be home tomorrow to share pictionary galore, random cheesemax and madness.
Email me whilst I’m gone – email@example.com.
Nice to see a sudden change of tone from THAT online forum’s vitriol infestation.
Call center life must be oh so boing-boing-boring. Go back to your little cubicles and drink motor oil. It’s good for you.
To be famous is so nice.
Suck my dick.
Lick my ass.
In limousines we have sex, every night with my famous friends.
Motherfuckers are so nice.
Suck my dick.
Lick my ass.
After coming home at 4AM earlier today, who knew I’d be getting up 5 hours later with a massive headache, only to find myself console on a hearty (fatty is more like it) breakfast?
My head hurts after yesterday’s debauchery. Yep. After all that vodka I had yesterday, I feel like there are a thousand cosmonauts dancing inside my head. I’ve officially broken my little cardinal rule of going out – which is NEVER TO GO OUT ON WEEKDAY NIGHTS.
For the past year or so, I’ve had control… I’ve always told myself that I’ll only go out (stay out all night) on a weekend, which is usually a Friday or Saturday night. If I’m going out on a weekday night, it must be in a non-club/bar environment. Until yesterday.
What started as a "last minute shopping/meeting" with my gal pal Tina Daniac ended up into a restaurant-hopping, vodka-and-Embajada-dancing charade with Gian.
I went out early in the afternoon to meet up with Tina. I still don’t have an outfit for tomorrow’s Shu Uemura party and my little dinner thing. The invite says "Mysterious Glamour". I heard some people are gonna show up ala those masquerade balls in Venice but who knows. What is Mysterious Glamour anyway?
I guess that’s the mystery of it. As long as there’s glamour, who cares about the rest? ;)
Chances are, everyone will friggin show up in black. No surprise in that.
Tina and I went to a fabric store (saw some great-looking fabrics) so she can have one of her sewing people do something for me and a friend, in the last minute.
I went to Gucci to take a peek at the fall/winter stuff. Most of them are CRAPOLA. Am I the only one who thinks their new fall bags (the ones I saw at the stores, particuarly the newish pattern) are icky?
I ended up buying a pair of jeans and a belt. One can never have too many jeans. I probably have more than 200 pairs of denim jeans in my wardrobe — no kidding — but I only use 4 or 5 (on rotation) at the most. It sucks!
I guess I’m a fucking hoarder, just like your grandmother.
Bah. Despite showering off the night away and taking one heck of a good poo as soon as I got home earlier this morning, my stomach is still churning all that food I ate yesterday: had friggin salad, oysters, scallops, and some roast beef-thingie at Pepato at around 5PM followed by a ton of spring rolls, chicken satay, tom yam soup at People’s Palace a couple of hours later. I really do feel like a pregnant bitch.
If only I can stick my fingers up my throat I will – but I won’t. I probably have digested all that food to the point where puke won’t be coming out of my mouth if I purge.
Speaking of Gucci… UGH. Remind me NOT to go to back to the Manila store unless they clean up their fuckin act (bring in better pieces; bring in more ready to wear blah blah bullshit) together.
I thought I’d share a photo taken back in late December 2000 when me and my good friend Ariel Lozada went to Bali. I think I was 16 (+1) years old back then. It’s Gucci galore – bandana, glasses, shirt, everything. Gawd, go on… revel in that fugliness.
I miss those days when it was just plain ol’ AB FAB. Imagine going to the markets in Ubud (Bali) on a limo + 2 bottes of champagne at fuckin 10 in the morning.
I know, I know. if you live in the same third word cesspit called Metro Mania as I do, be sure to get your hairy ass to Manila DJ Club later tonight. Thursdays are Fluxxe days… tonight’s the 4th time they’re doing it. Print the flyer and bring it along with you.
Unfortunately, I won’t be able to go out tonight as I have mucho preparation to do for tomorrow’s dinner party.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
Jordan, Bryanboy loves you too, darlink.
Big shout out to people from Irkutsk, Russia, people from the Michigan (my aunt lives in Detroit btw) and folks from London, Ontario.
I’m sending out yet another message to last weekend’s he-knows-who-he-is closet case.
I saw you again last night.
This time with your fuckin boytoy.
Don’t underestimate my minions’ eavesdropping skills. Introducing your boylet as your "friend" to random strangers is vomit-inducing. If you keep on doing that every time you corrupt my visuals with your presence, I’ll have to pay a visit to the Betty Ford Clinic for bullemia. That’s right. Bull-e-mia. You’re a faggot. One heck of a fucking faggot. Now go get some cock shoved up your fuckin arse you nancy boy.
There’s no doubt that I’ll see you again soon.
And there’s no doubt I’ll bitch about you again soon.
Suck my dick.
Lick my ass.
Identify yourselves you fuckin cunts and email me. As always, firstname.lastname@example.org.