Someone say bye bye to good ol teenage years cause ya ain’t a fuckin child no more. Tim, from Australia, celebrates his 20th birthday today.
Happy, happy, happy ageing, Tim from Australia! Bryanboy and your interracial best buddy Becky loves YOU, YOU and YOU!
Cheer up, both of you. Y’all look as if someone stole your virginities!
Don’t forget to invite me as the fairy godmother should you, ex-fetuses, decide to make a mixed-race mongrel baby.
Bryanboy LOVES Australians and all the shenanigans who live down under – that includes the entire Asian student population, the cute, cute wog boys, and of course, the poms that populate the kangaroo motherland.
Family of Faggots
Let’s face it – if a lesbian daughter is a curse, then a gay son is pretty much the end of the world… or a tree’s final branch.
If you think one faggot is bad enough for a family, wait till you see the Doody Family from Wolverhampton in the UK.
This from the BBC: The Doody family from Wolverhampton has been crowned The Faggot Family in a national competition, and to kick off their reign they will launch National Faggot Week.
Click here to read the article dated January 27, 2003.
I wonder what happened to the 2004 and 2005 winners. Victims of homophobia? Oh well.
A Run For Their Money
You gotta love Monique, a Filipina who lives in Vancouver, Canada. The babe with a nice set of pouty lips can sure give my favourite Singaporean boys a run for their money.
Go on then you fools – I invite YOU, yes, YOU, to emulate my infamous handbag pose. I’ll give a kiss on the cheeks and an oreo cookie who, in the words of Monique, can "capture the essence of Bryanboy".
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Davao City, Philippines, Richmond (Slough), UK, Griffith, NSW, Australia, Astley (Bolton), UK, Knightdale, NC, Toronto, ONT, Canada, Tsutsuicho, Japan, Brentwood (Havering), UK, Amersfoort, Netherlands, Waterfall, NSW, Australia, Catania (Italy) and of course, people from Rhodes, NSW, Australia. My god, a ton of Australians eh? I like my newfound fan base. Diversify, diversify, diversify. Bryanboy LOVES you all – Identify yourselves and say hi!
#2 – Big shout out to these 2 cute people from Norwalk, Connecticut. I like these "Couples for Christ" type of photos.
#3 – Please spread the word about my new venture, www.InsideMyBag.com because you love me the same way I love you.
I think that’s it for the night.
I love you all my dear friends.
God I love my blog.
If you only knew how THERAPEUTIC it is for me to sit here, crop photos and purge whatever it is on my system.
Anyway, until then.
I recently started a new website called InsideMyBag.com.
Everytime I see a cool bag, I always barrage myself with questions like "where did s/he got it from", "how much does it cost" or "does it come in other colors". But I never had the balls (well, until now) to ask people "what’s inside it?".
(Sample: here’s a friend’s Fendi Spy bag)
Whether you like it or not, a bag and its contents can tell a lot about someone’s life.
For instance, if a MALE thief or a mugger stole one of my bags, they’d be in for a treat.
They’d probably throw it to the nearest river cause they’d find my bag utterly useless – my bag is usually filled with items your mother would be proud of.
On that note, I need your help.
Using a digital or any camera of some sort, please pour out the contents of your handbag, manbag, fagbag on top of a table, on the floor or on your bed (wherever) and take a picture of your bag and whatever it is inside it.
Honesty is the best policy – as much as I’d want you to be creative and impress humanity (i.e. show off your centurion card, evidence of your ill-gotten wealth, a bag of illegal substances a supermodel would be proud of, a .45 revolver, human bones, chicken heads and other ilk), I’d prefer if your submision reflects you as in the REAL you, without any form of cheating whatsoever, via your bag. Afterall, the purpose of this new website is to show your life, your personality and your identity via your bag. If that includes used tampons and condoms with skid marks then so be it.
Email your photo to: email@example.com.
Anonymity is guaranteed unless you want me to give credit (i.e. a website link) and/or your location.
Photos will be published at www.InsideMyBag.com.
I’ll be forever be in debt if you support my new, fun project. Spread the word to the people you know, man, woman or child.
I love you all!
Beauty & Premature Ageing
The title, the photo and the caption says it all.
I turned myself into a 66-year old OVERNIGHT.
If you think that was bad, wait till you see what I saw at Eluxury.com earlier today. Since when did they put people with awful plastic surgery on that website?
Speaking of plastic surgery, god I need it. Fast.
Anyone kind enough to give me the gift of good looks?
I don’t need to have good looks.
I mean, let’s face it, you only need good looks if you want to be a prostitute or something.
Does one need to have good looks in order to survive this big, bad, shallow world?
Nuh uh, I don’t think so.
Let’s talk about weight for instance.
When I was much, much younger, I wished I had an eating disorder.
A couple of years later, that wish was granted. I developed an eating disorder: I ate far too much.
Anyway, I don’t want to have problems good-looking people have.
People lusting over them only because of the way they look, people talking to them only because of the way they look, people offering them jobs just because the way they look, people giving them money just because of the way they look.
Enough beauty talk. That photo is fucking awful.
I don’t even know why I posted it here.
Besides, I’ve posted far too many fugly photos of myself on this site.
I need sympathy, bitches!
Motorola, The Philippine Daily Inquirer and Not Enough Circuses (my very good friend of godknowshowmany years, Ariel Lozada’s production team) are holding an event, featuring 5 of the Philippines’ young designers, Ivarluski Aseron, Ignacio Loyola, James Reyes, Yvonne Quisimbing-Romulo and Joey Samson on Tuesday, October 25 at the NBC Tent.
Ziggi Zigga Zara
was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time was perfect.
I have NO idea how I managed to get home earlier this morning when the moon and the stars are still up.
In fact, I got home at around 4:30AM.
For the past few months, my personal "ride of shame" had always been done in broad daylight. 7AM, 8AM, 9AM even 10AM. It’s extremely rare for me to be home before 6AM.
ride of shame = that icky, lonely, home-bound 20 minute-long journey with you (and only you) at the back of the car, staring at the window with your designer sunglasses, palpitations and headaches galore, after a night’s worth of debauchery
I think I had an early night cause I went out first thing in the afternoon.
I went to Louis Vuitton, bought a pair of boots, a Beijing Carnet de Voyage and a woollen scarf. Thank god they’re done cleaning with my Damier trunk.
I also went to Mix for a pair of Antik denim jeans and to Diesel for a t-shirt and a tank top.
Apres-shopping, I quickly dropped by at the Zara Store Opening. Had far too many cocktails and yes, those damn quail-egg nibbles are good.
(This is why I *NEVER* smile or laugh at any of my photos. I look hideous!)
After Zara, a friend and I quickly went to the supermarket to buy some supplies for our little "girls night in" mini-party.
Errr, sorry, wrong photo.
What are those things at Paris’ back, arms and elbows? Rashes? Marks? Whatever?
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Camberwell, VIC, Australia, Warsaw, Poland, Trenton, NJ, Lake Hiawatha, NJ, Austin, TX, Assentoft, Denmark, Zurich, Switzerland, Pequannock, NJ, Orlando, FL, Bonn, Germany, Suasalito, CA and of course, people from Santa Monica, CA. Bryanboy loves y’all! Identify yourselves bitches and say hi!
#2 – Drew Barrymore is gonna model for Missoni. Lucky bitch. Click here for the article. Someone just fucking stop this blatant fashion hijacking by celebrities. Celebrities are fucking stealing models’ jobs!
#3 – Gotta finish my article tomorrow for Just Shop magazine.
#4 – Keep an eye out on my blog tomorrow for my new online project.
#5 – Elijah Wood is very, very, gay. Yuck. I don’t like the way he looks. In fact, he looks just like Harry Potter.
You know where to contact me if you need me. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-7851492.
Vroom Vroom Vuitton
(image courtesy of Vuitton.com)
Yes bitches, I totally missed the Vuitton event of the year. I know, I know, if only I could kick my fuckin ass, I would.
Consider it as a blessing in disguise though.
I’d be bankrupt by now with all the shopping I could have done that night had I gone to that event.
Seriously, I’d be found at the nearest street corner selling my soul (and sperm cells) just to pay for my credit card bills.
But yeah, the store is gorgeous.
Get ready to salivate my dear minions.
Click any of the images below for the larger version.
(image courtesy of Vuitton.com)
Whether you like it or not, when you say Paris, I say Louis. When you say France, I say Vuitton.
When you say Louis Vuitton, I say HAIL MARC JACOBS.
Wanna know the other thing that made me palpitate?
Trish Goff is alive and well!
I was researching my accommodation options for my upcoming fall/winter escapade next month and one thing that caught my eye is the new (and Moscow’s first) boutique hotel that opened earlier this year.
I know, I know, I’m getting 14 nights FOR FREE at a different hotel because of my frequent hotel points. Gotta love American Express!
According to my Russian sources, the hotel is quite stylish. The rates aren’t that bad, too. They range anywhere between US$180 – US$300 per night. Whereas the cheapest room at the Hyatt hotel runs at US$600 PER night!!!!
That’s the thing about hotels in Moscow – they charge extortionate rates so this Golden Apple Hotel is truly a gem, budget-wise.
Moscow is not THE place to be if you don’t have dough… unless of course you want to stay in a soviet-era type hotel room with hookers on the street and cockroaches that crawl the walls.
Check their website out: www.goldenapple.ru.
I guess there are people who end up being star-strucked one way or another when they see me. Some people have told me this and some even apologise profusely. It’s flattering in a way but in all seriousness, why?
I’m just someone is young… and loves to be young. I’m free… and I love to be free. To live my life the way that I want, to say and do whatever I please.
Seriously though. I’m no celeb. I have no talent whatsoever.
Snap snap reality check.
Can I just have an Anna Scott moment?
Take a glimpse on my future.
One day, people will get bored of my same old same old incessant ramblings. History repeats itself. Everything new becomes everything old and everything old becomes everything new – over and over and over again.
I, too, will be bankrupt with no cent left on my name except hundreds of dirty designer handbags and soiled underwear.
My fabulous looks (coffee anyone?) will fade, my skin will fuckin sag and get infested with liver spots, warts, wrinkles, stretch marks and acne scars. No amount of botox, plastic surgery and liposuction can stop me from looking just like a male Jackie Stallone (yes, that’s Sylvester’s mum my friends) in the future.
My last breath would smell that of absinthe, piss and xanax.
My future nephews and nieces will probably disown me for bringing embarassment to our clan.
I’ll most likely die OLD and ALONE… on the street and not in a retirement home.
Let’s face it – the future is not bright and it will never be orange.
Just get over this whole fame drama. Please don’t be shy and just say hi to me when you see me.
This post is sponsored by:
Around the same time last year, the only people I knew are those who work in the HEALTHCARE industry – my aesthetician, my waxer, my pedicure person, my masseuse, my hair stylist, etc. In fact, only 2 people visited me in the hospital (how PATHETIC is that?) when I got confined back in April.
I’ve been going out for far too long and trust me, being recognized and acknowledged is still a new thing for me.
Try having several years of no one saying hi to you and I’m sure you’ll know what I mean.
A "hi" is still a "hi", regardless of intentions. I’m a shallow person, champion of cluelessness and of course, social outcast extraordinaire. Someone saying "hi" to me in person is enough to brighten up my day.
|You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish
|You are pretty evenly split down the middle – a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don’t actively fight them. You’re just you. You don’t try to be what people expect you to be.
70%! That’s fuckin bollocks!
Maybe there’s a real man hidden underneath the handbags, the lip gloss, the in-your-face camping tents?
I mean, we all know that I don’t have a single ounce of masculinity in my body. I simply cannot act straight even if it were the last thing to save my life.
Like what I said before, I am so fucking gay that even gay guys are scared of me… and I’m NOT even gay!
It really is THAT bad.
What’s worse though is the fact that the only boys who probably like me are fuckin guys who think I’m a woman at first glance.
I’m not EVEN a TRANNIE for god’s sake. I don’t think of myself as a trannie or a ladyboy.
I’m just a fat boy who likes handbags, lip gloss, campy things, fur, jewelry, diamonds, accessories and other colourful stuff.
That doesn’t mean I think of myself as a girl though. I’m sure of one thing – you’ll never see me wear a dress, a bra, a wig, some panties and stillettos anytime soon. Ick, ick, ick.
I’ll never forget the time when I went to Bali when I was like 17 or something. I was dancing on some ledge in a club and then some white trash 20-something lifted the trousers I was wearing to see whether or not I’ve got hair on my leg because he couldn’t believe I’m a boy.
It really was a miracle, IN SPITE of sweat, makeup and all, for me to achieve a straight face err straightish self at that mini-photo shoot yesterday.
I’m telling you, this picture is probably the CLOSEST thing I’ll get to straight acting.
Go on. Feel free to have a laugh at MY expense.
I think I know what it was – the shoot was held in one of the most hardcore Catholic, all-male schools in the
third world country, Don Bosco school. One of my mum’s cousins went to the same school although a different branch. Yep, Uncle Charlie… that’s his name.
It was fascinating indeed! Giles (who is oh-so-adorable) and I even chuckled when we saw a group of really camp (and young) boys having lunch.
(god my face is HUGE!!!)
Keep an eye out for the Philippine Daily Inquirer in the next few weeks for the entire set of photos – if they publish it, of course.I’ll scan the pictures when they get published. I think there were 6 outfits; I won’t publish any other photos because I don’t want to preempt the article. Hello confidentiality!
Clothes were made by Vurve Clothing Co. Eyewear by Yves Saint Laurent.
Twinkle Twinkle Travel
I’ve been awfully busy this week planning and preparing my Fall/Winter ’05 escapade. I’ve decided to go to China (Beijing) and Russia (Moscow) next month. I already bought my plane tickets and booked my accommodations. My travel agent has my passport because they’re processing my Chinese Visa application. Hopefully I’ll get it back soon so I can start working on the Russian side.
By the meantime, I’m still thinking whether or not to go to Estonia AND/OR Latvia. The Latvian Embassies that I called said that they’ll only accept visa appliations in-person and not via courier. I called the Latvian Embassy in Moscow and they said that they can process my visa over there.
Oh I don’t know. I know myself though – remember how I’m supposed to go to Beijing/Shanghai back in August but me and my gal pal Tina only ended up splurging our hearts out in Hong Kong? Once I’m in a certain city, all I’m gonna end up doing is procrastinate/party/shop/party/shop.
We’ll see how it goes in the next few weeks. I think I’ve got a little over a month before I’ll leave anyway.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Leaside, Ontario, Canada, Raleigh, NC, Tavares, FL, De Banken, Holland, Santiago, Chile (that’s a new one – I love you all over there!), Jamaica, NY, Houston, TX, East Lansing, MI, East Elmhurst, NY and of course, Merredin, Western Australia. Everyone get down to your knees, worship the ground I’m standing on. Identify yourselves bitches and say hi to me – I don’t bite!
#2 – So many events, so little time. I’ve decided to stay home this week.
#3 – I have a couple new crushes and I’m not telling you who they are. My sewage-worthy potty mouth have sent me far too many roundtrip tickets to HELL in the past.
The best thing about all my previous crushes is the fact that they’re ALWAYS unattainable
(in other words, the chances of them going for me is pretty much NONEXISTENT), which makes it even more exciting because they remain what they are – crushes.
#4 – Bryanboy loves Susan.. and her lips. No, erase that. I like the cash. I like them all!
#5 – Oh fuck it. Fuck being straight-acting. I’m telling y’all, my Birkin bag will definitely go with me to my grave… unless of course I hoard MORE Birkin bags before I die. Yes, I know I’m pathetic for bragging just one Birkin bag when there are probably a ton other botoxed matrons who have them in all sorts of colours, leathers etc.
Nevertheless, a trophy is still a trophy. And for a lower middle-class pretentious parrot like myself, a trophy doesn’t come often.
As always, you know where to contact me – email@example.com or SMS +63-915-7851492.
Anna Oh Anna
The picture says it all.
U.S. Vogue editor Anna Wintour reacts after having a pie thrown at her face on her way to the Chloe show at Jardin des Tuileries in Paris October 8, 2005 as part of the Spring/Summer 2006 ready-to-wear fashion collection. Wintour had a pie thrown at her by a PETA supporter protesting against the promotion of fur in the magazine. Photo and text courtesy of REUTERS/Handout
Went to Celine’s birthday party on Saturday and boy it was fun!
I know my outfit sucked – I literally didn’t have anything to wear. I swear to god, I need to catch up on my shopping otherwise I’d be paralyzed in the next few weeks.
Saw everyone from A to, well, A. They’ve closed down the vip area strictly to those who were invited. It’s refreshing to see the "room-with-the-pink-walls-and-yellow-floors" filled with no other than beautiful people and sheer immortals, especially on a Saturday night.
(happy, happy birthday babe!)
Bryanboy loves people from Moscow, Russia, Staten Island, NY, Atlanta, GA, Plymouth, Michigan, Braslia, Brazil, Merrick, NY, Sacramento, CA, Concord, NC, Seattle, WA, Arlington, TX, Noxen, PA, Mlarhjden, Sweden and of course, people from Ringgold, GA. Bryanboy loves y’all!
More updates later. I gotta get my ass ready. I have another photo shoot to do later today and the call-time is in 2 hours.
Oh fuck it.
I was planning to do a big bang party for Kelly and her offspring yesterday but my sister had to go to the Emergency Room at the hospital for severe cramps.
Family comes first you know (alright, Hermes comes first before Family but you know what I mean) so I had to drop by and visit her.
Thank god she’s alright. She got confined for a day and we picked her up earlier this afternoon. The doctors thought she had appendicitis (sp?); one check-up with the OB-GYNE (sp?) and it’s just cramps/hormonal imbalance. *whew*. I love my sister to bits. Even if she’s the evil bitch troll from hell.
Thank god I’m not a woman.
God knows what she had for painkillers though. Seriously, that lucky bitch must have been in heaven, with her painkillers being dripped via IV/dextrose.
I was about 15 minutes late from my shoot yesterday for Fudge Magazine because of the damn traffic and when I got to the studio, we needed more clothes and accessories so I sent my maid and my driver back home to fetch more stuff.
The shoot went well; I ended up eating pizza – I know, I know, I’ve been trying to combat hunger these days by abusing Xanax – a pill and a half makes the hunger go away. Unfortunately, I’m too old to purge, purge, purge and I’m even older to have an eating disorder. I’m not Karen Carpenter you know. I’d rather accept myself despite of being too plump already. I mean, I’m the one responsible why I’m curvy anyway; I love food!
You guys have got to see the photos. I won’t go into detail (hello confidentiality) so y’all gotta either a) buy a copy of Fudge Magazine, November 2005 issue and/or b) wait until next month when I get my own copy and I’ll scan the pictures and post them here. Obviously I recommend that you go for option A… but sadly, most of you aren’t from the land of the brown, the l’exotique and the natives aka Filifuckingppines
Return of the MatronAirs
Not too long ago, I wrote a piece about my experience with MatronAirs at my aesthetician’s clinic. Well, a fan sent me the ultimate North American MatronAir. Meet MatronAir Force Starr Jones.
Louis Vuitton handbag and wallet, Dior Sunglasses, Gucci reading glasses, nasal spray, marlboro lights, Hermes bracelet, mirror, Motorola phones
You people really know how to make one’s day, don’t you?
Keep the love coming! Be creative! Be spontaneous
What’s stopping you from showing your unconditional, undying love to me? If little toddlers can carry Versace bags and dress up in heels, why can’t you?
I need people of the vaginal kind to send me pictures of love and adoration. Just because each and everyone of you LITERALLY don’t have balls it doesn’t mean you FIGURATIVELY don’t have balls.
Stop procrastinating bitches! Send your love to firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
There’s even a small mini Bryanboy-look-alike contest someobody did in their office here in the Philippines. Separate at birth? You decide.
Check out some this photo album of my fans in Singapore.
I love my Singaporean fans. Love Love Love you all! I know NOBODY can emulate me beeeeeetches, I give them A++++ for trying though. A++++ for Effort. Even if there’s a pizza hut on the background…and god knows whatever handbag that is he’s holding. Yeah, yeah, I’m flattered. =)
All these Singapore craziness is inspired by this photo, of course.
My god, look how influential one picture can be!!!! Amazing eh?
It’s NICE to try hard. It’s even NICER to try harder. But nothing can beat the one who tried the HARDEST. If everyone put some effort on everything that they do, the world will become a better place.
Go on then. I invite you to take a shot at your best Bryanboy pose and send me a photo. I’ll give you an oreo cookie and a kiss on the cheek email@example.com.
No, not the Harry Winston kind.
Looks like I’m back on my little showbiz trash mag obsession again.
I bought 2 issues of People magazine at the hospital shop earlier and boy oh boy we’re in for a treat.
It’s amazing how he turned out to be this boylet of a man after all these years.
Look at that William person – he’s balding, he’s got rabbit teeth and he’s just icky.
Harry on the other hand…
(Note: I know my DAD reads my blog. Bah!)
Let’s just say…. Harry oh Harry…
WE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE you.
What’s wrong with a little fantasy anyway?
Single-mother Kelly van der Birkinson is thrilled to announce the arrival of her first children, Daria van der Birkinson (miniature pinscher) and Louis Vuitton Monogram Waltz/Macha bag.
Thank you very much to those of you who joined the contest. I’ve received dozens upon dozens of entries
Contrary to what people think, no, it’s not a Fendi Spy Bag, a Chloe Paddington Bag, a "high-end" designer chain, a pair of shoes, an ostrich Kelly bag, a black patent leather Prada handbag, 2 male chicks or an iPod Nano.
Kristy from Washington D.C. even thought Kelly’s gonna give birth to a pair of kangaroos!
Oi vey! As much as Kelly loves group sex and getting gangbanged, her eggs aren’t capable of carrying such enormous offspring.
If there’s anything that should benefit from kangaroos… or from the land of kangaroos down under, that would be me – and it better include hot sex with the hundreds of thousands of 18-30 year old fit, tanned and delicious surfer boys that populate their land.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
‘#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Lindfield, NSW, Australia, Lyon, France, Oslo, Norway, Lavrune, France, Rovaniemi, Finland, Zurich, Switzerland and of course, people from Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Bryanboy loves y’all – identify yourselves bitches and say hello!
#2 – Boy George busted and arrested for Kate Moss possession. Citizens of the world you’ve been warned. Please be careful where you stash your fine South American powder. It’s not right to keep your bag near your computer.
#3 – Someone from Salt Lake City, Utah, land of the Mormons and the 2002 Winter Oympics, sent me a picture of his crotch using his work email address. He works for one of the city’s newspapers as an ad executive. Gotta love media and press people baby, some of them are just downright HORNY. Bryanboy loves you too, however, please send a picture of your face cause your crotch looks like any other crotch – is that Hanes or Fruit of the Loom?
#4 – A big, big, happy, happy, happy, happy birthday to ____. I wish you good health, genuine happiness and the very best. I know it’s not often that we see each other but there’s just something special whenever we’re together. I’ll keep it short – I’ll ALWAYS be here whenever you need me.
#5 – Keep an eye out everyone for a rather sentimental post tomorrow. I’ll talk about blessings, friendships and of course, Chanel lip gloss!
As always, you know where to contact me. Email firstname.lastname@example.org with messages of love, hate and luxury. SMS +63-915-785-1492.