Oh fuck it.
I was planning to do a big bang party for Kelly and her offspring yesterday but my sister had to go to the Emergency Room at the hospital for severe cramps.
Family comes first you know (alright, Hermes comes first before Family but you know what I mean) so I had to drop by and visit her.
Thank god she’s alright. She got confined for a day and we picked her up earlier this afternoon. The doctors thought she had appendicitis (sp?); one check-up with the OB-GYNE (sp?) and it’s just cramps/hormonal imbalance. *whew*. I love my sister to bits. Even if she’s the evil bitch troll from hell.
Thank god I’m not a woman.
God knows what she had for painkillers though. Seriously, that lucky bitch must have been in heaven, with her painkillers being dripped via IV/dextrose.
I was about 15 minutes late from my shoot yesterday for Fudge Magazine because of the damn traffic and when I got to the studio, we needed more clothes and accessories so I sent my maid and my driver back home to fetch more stuff.
The shoot went well; I ended up eating pizza – I know, I know, I’ve been trying to combat hunger these days by abusing Xanax – a pill and a half makes the hunger go away. Unfortunately, I’m too old to purge, purge, purge and I’m even older to have an eating disorder. I’m not Karen Carpenter you know. I’d rather accept myself despite of being too plump already. I mean, I’m the one responsible why I’m curvy anyway; I love food!
You guys have got to see the photos. I won’t go into detail (hello confidentiality) so y’all gotta either a) buy a copy of Fudge Magazine, November 2005 issue and/or b) wait until next month when I get my own copy and I’ll scan the pictures and post them here. Obviously I recommend that you go for option A… but sadly, most of you aren’t from the land of the brown, the l’exotique and the natives aka Filifuckingppines
Return of the MatronAirs
Not too long ago, I wrote a piece about my experience with MatronAirs at my aesthetician’s clinic. Well, a fan sent me the ultimate North American MatronAir. Meet MatronAir Force Starr Jones.
Louis Vuitton handbag and wallet, Dior Sunglasses, Gucci reading glasses, nasal spray, marlboro lights, Hermes bracelet, mirror, Motorola phones
You people really know how to make one’s day, don’t you?
Keep the love coming! Be creative! Be spontaneous
What’s stopping you from showing your unconditional, undying love to me? If little toddlers can carry Versace bags and dress up in heels, why can’t you?
I need people of the vaginal kind to send me pictures of love and adoration. Just because each and everyone of you LITERALLY don’t have balls it doesn’t mean you FIGURATIVELY don’t have balls.
Stop procrastinating bitches! Send your love to email@example.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
There’s even a small mini Bryanboy-look-alike contest someobody did in their office here in the Philippines. Separate at birth? You decide.
Check out some this photo album of my fans in Singapore.
I love my Singaporean fans. Love Love Love you all! I know NOBODY can emulate me beeeeeetches, I give them A++++ for trying though. A++++ for Effort. Even if there’s a pizza hut on the background…and god knows whatever handbag that is he’s holding. Yeah, yeah, I’m flattered. =)
All these Singapore craziness is inspired by this photo, of course.
My god, look how influential one picture can be!!!! Amazing eh?
It’s NICE to try hard. It’s even NICER to try harder. But nothing can beat the one who tried the HARDEST. If everyone put some effort on everything that they do, the world will become a better place.
Go on then. I invite you to take a shot at your best Bryanboy pose and send me a photo. I’ll give you an oreo cookie and a kiss on the cheek firstname.lastname@example.org.
No, not the Harry Winston kind.
Looks like I’m back on my little showbiz trash mag obsession again.
I bought 2 issues of People magazine at the hospital shop earlier and boy oh boy we’re in for a treat.
It’s amazing how he turned out to be this boylet of a man after all these years.
Look at that William person – he’s balding, he’s got rabbit teeth and he’s just icky.
Harry on the other hand…
(Note: I know my DAD reads my blog. Bah!)
Let’s just say…. Harry oh Harry…
WE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE you.
What’s wrong with a little fantasy anyway?
Single-mother Kelly van der Birkinson is thrilled to announce the arrival of her first children, Daria van der Birkinson (miniature pinscher) and Louis Vuitton Monogram Waltz/Macha bag.
Thank you very much to those of you who joined the contest. I’ve received dozens upon dozens of entries
Contrary to what people think, no, it’s not a Fendi Spy Bag, a Chloe Paddington Bag, a "high-end" designer chain, a pair of shoes, an ostrich Kelly bag, a black patent leather Prada handbag, 2 male chicks or an iPod Nano.
Kristy from Washington D.C. even thought Kelly’s gonna give birth to a pair of kangaroos!
Oi vey! As much as Kelly loves group sex and getting gangbanged, her eggs aren’t capable of carrying such enormous offspring.
If there’s anything that should benefit from kangaroos… or from the land of kangaroos down under, that would be me – and it better include hot sex with the hundreds of thousands of 18-30 year old fit, tanned and delicious surfer boys that populate their land.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
‘#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Lindfield, NSW, Australia, Lyon, France, Oslo, Norway, Lavrune, France, Rovaniemi, Finland, Zurich, Switzerland and of course, people from Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Bryanboy loves y’all – identify yourselves bitches and say hello!
#2 – Boy George busted and arrested for Kate Moss possession. Citizens of the world you’ve been warned. Please be careful where you stash your fine South American powder. It’s not right to keep your bag near your computer.
#3 – Someone from Salt Lake City, Utah, land of the Mormons and the 2002 Winter Oympics, sent me a picture of his crotch using his work email address. He works for one of the city’s newspapers as an ad executive. Gotta love media and press people baby, some of them are just downright HORNY. Bryanboy loves you too, however, please send a picture of your face cause your crotch looks like any other crotch – is that Hanes or Fruit of the Loom?
#4 – A big, big, happy, happy, happy, happy birthday to ____. I wish you good health, genuine happiness and the very best. I know it’s not often that we see each other but there’s just something special whenever we’re together. I’ll keep it short – I’ll ALWAYS be here whenever you need me.
#5 – Keep an eye out everyone for a rather sentimental post tomorrow. I’ll talk about blessings, friendships and of course, Chanel lip gloss!
As always, you know where to contact me. Email email@example.com with messages of love, hate and luxury. SMS +63-915-785-1492.
(I’m the only one who’s not pretty. I look terrible that night. *sigh*)
There’s definitely something odd going on.
I left the house at around 9:30PM on a Wednesday night and I got
back home at 9:30AM on Thursday. That’s about 12 hours of pure
I slept at around 12:00Noon, only to wake up at 9:30PM after nine hours and 30 minutes of sleep yesterday.
What’s up with the nine-thirty? Is 9-30 the new 7-11? Should I buy lotto tickets with these numbers?
I started my night by going to Bizu to meet Tina T. who I haven’t
seen in the longest time; in fact, she was the reason why I decided to
go out today. I’ve been out of circulation the past week or two because
of my colds/cough. I was introduced to one of her childhood/best
friends. I hope she gets a Louis Vuitton Suhali bag — in blue!
When Pepper arrived, we went to Nuvo (a bar/restaurant located at Greenbelt) for a couple of drinks, met quite a few people.
Stayed there till about 1:30AM or so before heading to the VIP room
at Embassy, drank for a bit, got my YSL shoes stepped on, stepped on
other people’s toes,
Après-Embajada, Celine, Ianne, another gent and moi went to Jacques’
house for more vodka and orange fun. It’s all good and i had so much
fun. It’s one of those times when you want the night to last forever…
but you have to go early cause your evil bitch troll
sister-cum-cinderella-pumpkin-wagon-driver, your maid and your 3-month
old bitch is waiting for you inside the car, nagging on your cellphone that you have to go back home.
Desire is the ultimate necessity INDEED!
Jenni Epperson, shopping queen of the land of the brown, the l’exotiques and the natives, famous for her good finds and shopping skills par excellance, Creative Director of Just Shop magazine, and of course, the one who took memorable and unforgettabe pictures of me looking like a bloody lampshade, notified me recently that the teaser ad… and this month’s "Just Shop" magazine is availabe today!
(Click the graphic above for a larger version)
If you are FIili-flippin Filipino and you live in the CAPITAL of the land of the brown, the l’exotique and the natives (also known as Manila), be sure to get hold of "Just Shop", October Issue. I have a piece there about a mini shopping guide to some of the Metro Mall-ila’s malls.
Ya gotta love Erickson Beamon, bebe. I bought a fancy schmancy bracelet with colourful stones the other day at one of my fave shops here in Manila called Firma. It’s a little gem of a store filled with some of the most faBulous (with a capital B) finds ever — feathered fans, semi-precious stones, exotic (and the perennial matronic beaded) handbags, jewels and various accessories. They also have home furnishings!
I was supposed to get one of those US$150 faux-bling-bling watches but I opted for this bracelet instead. It’s quite pricey… around US$600, ouch, but it’s really, really beautiful. The picture doesn’t do the bracelet some justice. Trust me though – it’s soo gorgeous and I fell in love the first time I tried it on.
Erickson Beamon is available in Manila by going to Firma (Greenbelt). It’s also available on the internet by visiting Net-A-Porter.
Say hello to my new phones.
I’m really a Nokia fan and the last time I had a Motorola was back in the dark ages when the phones are as heavy as a brick and I had a trusty, crusty, Star-Tac.
I think it’s time for me to jump on that Razr V3 bandwagon, who cares if I’m late. I like how it’s thin and black and nice. I also bought a Motorola MPX220 – I love the Windows features and how the ring tones are LOUD as in LOUD. Heck, even pressing the keypad is LOUD.
I love my new phones. The only thing that’s hard is how to transfer over 400 people on my Nokia address book without the aid of hooking my phone up to computer… it’s a serious job, I’m telling you..
Consider it as a blessing in disguise at east I now have a reason NOT to include those unimportant bitches in my life. Hah!
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1- Pleasanton, CA, San Antonio, TX, Rowland Heights, CA, Montclair, NJ, Garo, Japan, Binghamton, NY, MelVille, Saskatchewan, Canada and of course, people from Grandouet, France. Identify yourselves bitches and say hello to me, Bryanboy, Our Lady of Materialism.
#2a – Calling all citizens of the land of the brown, the l’exotique and the natives. I’ve been indulging again by watching TV. I know, I know, it’s a sin I shouldn’t be confessing but seriously, WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY ON THE NEW SUNSILK SOFT TOUCH COMMERCIAL? HE’S SOOO FUCKING CUTE. Maybe it’s his stubble/facial hair that’s making me feel like a bitch in heat despite the fact that I normally don’t like hair on any part of the body other than one’s head?
#2b – I have a photo shoot and an interview for a local magazine in about 2 hours. I’m scared of these things. Honestly! I mean, I know I’m a camwhore… but only if it’s MY camera and not somebody else’s. I really don’t know why I’m not comfortable in front of anybody else’s camera.
#4 – I thought I was the most tactless person in the universe. I was wrong. There are a several of people out there who won’t know recognize what a dick is even if it landed on their faces.
#5 – All I can say to this other person is thank you. Thank you VERY much. I wish you the best in your future endeavours, whatever they may be.
As always, you all know where to contact me. Bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS me at +63-915-785-1492. Tell me you love me.
Delay Delay Delay
A big hello to all of you. I know I haven’t updated much in the past two days. I’ve been terribly, terribly busy. Plus, my colds and cough are still here. I’m fine though –
don’t you dare thanks for worrying about me. your thoughts of sympathy are good but I need a new Chanel bag.
Unfortunately, I started smoking again. Yesterday, to be exact… after a 6-day lung holiday.
Save the lung cancer sermon – I don’t need it. In fact, shove this imagery up your buttocks if you want. I look forward to the day when my lungs turn pitch black.
Err, ok, I take that back.
I’ll stop smoking. I promise.
I look forward to the day I turn 75 – at least I’ll get to wear Oscar de la Renta.
Going back to business, my god, I’m soo anxious to see what my best friend Kelly’s offspring are gonna be.
I actually know what they are already. (DUH)
It’s just that I can’t reveal them until Friday night. That’s what I said on the invite.
Everyone knows that patience is a word that does NOT exist in my vocabulary. A pretentious parrot such as myself will never, ever, voluntarily shut his mouth for a few days to stop himself from bragging.
Keeping this secret from each and everyone of you is nothing but pure torture!
I think y’all gonna die if you knew what’s inside those two eggs. I’ll give you a couple of hints:
- they’re both brown
- one of them has some of the world’s most exotic skins
- one of them is bigger than the other
- one of them can fit inside the other
I know it’s already quite obvious from those two pictures but please gargle and swallow that man cream cum like a proper whore so you won’t ruin it for everyone else.
Besides, it could be an iguana or a ferret.
You never know.
Keep an eye out on Friday, October 7, 2005.
And yes, I know what you’re thinking. Shut IT. Oh yes. Just STOP, STOP, STOP looking at my arms and my bulging stomach. I know I’m BALLOONING to UNBELIEVABLE PROPORTIONS. It’s hard being a surrogate mother. Contrary to what people think, I will never, ever, ever accept that dirty rumor our ancestors said over time. I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT the "joys of motherhood" is worth all that excess flesh and stretch marks that motherhood brings. That’s all bollocks, I’m telling you.
I’m not even a real mother yet I already have stretch marks.
Bah! I won’t dig my own grave any further. What would my future grandchildren think if they read this blog in year 2080 and see that I admitted having stretch marks on a public domain?
Louis Vuitton Goodies
Yesterday was quite productive. I accomplished a ton of stuff – went to my usual haunt in Greenbelt, enjoyed a huge lunch with my gal pal Tina. As always, I enjoyed our our favorites – baked oysters, foie gras with green apple tart, duck confit, green mango and prawns salad.
Picked up a few things at Louis Vuitton – bought a bag strap and a bracelet. My special orders from Paris also arrived – my ski bonnet and my fur gloves.
This Thing About My Age
Stop this ludicrous commotion about my age – all of you!
Since when did a number became so important in your backwater swamp gossip talks? Heck, the only set of numbers that are important to me is the number of unfortunate guys I’ve slept with, my American Express card number and of course, the number of times I ask my maid to fetch me a glass of water each and every day.
Let me clarify this once and for all.
I’m too old to be a runway model in Milan, too young to be a pensioner, too old to be a pedophile’s sexual prey, too young to be a parent (of any kind), too old to be barely legal.
In other words, I’m….
cha-chin,. cha-ching, cha-ching
However, I’ll leave it up to YOUR imagination on how many ++ (plus plus) you’d like to add to that age.
Have you guys forgotten my annual 18th birthday party this year when i failed dressing up like a proper
bloke on knickers ladyboy?
Now as for that special someone at the LVLU discussion forums who thought I’m 17 years old…
Well, I wouldn’t call you special for nothing.
Let’s leave it at that.
I’ve been thinking of going dropping by Tallinn, Estonia (and Riga, Latvia) mid-trip on my Russian holiday. Like most countries, I need a fucking visa to go to that "Nouveaux-Euro" country. One of their visa requirements is the fact that I need to have some invitation to visit their country, even as a tourist.
Blah blah blah Kabbalah.
Unfortunately, there are no Estonian embassies in South East Asia so I have to fedex my passport and visa application to some far-flung place (i.e. USA).
I’m just waiting a response from their immigration people to see what they have to say.
2 names baby.
Carmen Kass and Tiiu Kuik.
If that country can export fine specimen such as those two, I’m curious on what they have in store over there.
Grocery shopping you ask?
Believe it or not, I had my first ever encounter with someone Estonian yesterday. We exchanged quite a few messages and he seems to be nice.
Hold the malicious thoughts right there. All we did is talked about friggin Estonia.
I’ll keep you posted in the next few weeks to come whether or not I’m going to Tallinn as well.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1- Bryanboy loves people from Zaventem, Belgium, Reading, MA, Wellers Hill, Queensland, Australia, Pennsauken, NJ, Saint Paul, MN, Woodhaven, NY, Piedmont, CA and of couse, people from Manila, Philippines. Identify yourselves, bitches – Bryanboy loves each and everyone of you.
#2 – People from Finland are talking about me. God knows what they are talking about though – and I don’t care. It’s nice to get some attention from the far north. Click here to read the thread on some discussion forum. Big brownie points if you can understand what the hell they are talking about. Hello Finland!!!!
#3 – Jesus, the heat here is FUCKING killing me. I’ve got my airconditioning set to the coldest temperature it’s capable of but the heat seeps through our fucking roof – yes, we have third world roofing. We’re poor!
#4 – The Kate Moss cocaine video is out. Let’s all put this issue down to rest shall we?
More upates later. Promise!
As always, you know where to contact me… +63-915-785-1492 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
aka "New Russians" or новые русские (in Cyrillic)
Fall is in full swing and winter is fast approaching.
It won’t be long until people in the northern hemisphere bring out their luscious coats made out of the most fabulous tweeds, the most exotic furs, the warmest wools, the chic cashmeres and of course, puffy, faux-down-filled puffy bomber-style jackets worn by the unfortunate poor ones.
I’m doing my 2nd winter pilgrimage to the land of the the matrioshkas.
You see, I always get that dreaded "Why Russia?" every time I talk about Russia.
No, it’s definitely not about the caviar… even if I eat the finest beluga, sevruga and osetra thrice a day until my poop looks like miniature hershey’s kisses (aka goat poop).
No, it’s definitely not about the vodka… even if I drink vodka all day long.
No, it’s definitely not the gorgeous, tall, skinny, runway model lookey-likey girls.
No, it’s most definitely not the hunt for gorgeous, fit, toned boys aka my own personal Olympic gymnast/swimmer/sports person.
No, it’s definitely not the cold weather.
No, it’s definitely not the ostentatious display of wealth by the New Russians
So why Russia?
No amount of Russian Tourist Board propaganda (I don’t think there’s one) can convince me to go to the land of the czars and the communists other than these 2 pictures can.
Now THAT is something.
Come visit Russia, land of vodka, caviar and um, um, um…
I’m at a loss of words on this one.
The thing I love about "free" websites is the fact that they will exist online forever and ever and ever and ever, amen.
I went to my ex’ home page and his last message to me is still there.
Yep, the one whom I spent a year and 8 months with.
Yep, the one I really, really loved.
Yep, the one who really, really loved me.
Yep, he made this page for me a couple of years ago.
And believe it or not, everything he said there was true.
So true it hurts.
Brace yourself fuckers.
(yep, a small one.)
Roberto Cavalli Vodka? Damn.
Jesus! Here I am thinking Russian Standart Platinum is the best vodka I’ve ever had.
I really look forward to the day Louis Vuitton sells monogrammed toilet paper.
Thanks to Ronald for this sort of information.
You’re Invited: Kelly’s Baby Shower
My god, imagine the shock and horror I got earlier.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that Kelly isn’t really the type who goes out with me all the time, even if she’s my nouveaux best friend.
She likes to keep things low-key and quiet because she always ends up as an object of sexual affection whenever we go out.
You’ve seen some of her photos with the public – she’s been raped, been gangbanged, been 69′ed… she’s done it all!
No wonder she’s been quiet for the past few weeks; little did I know that she was pregnant.
I only found out today….
When she gave birth.
We’re not talking about nests here darling. She’s allergic to anything that belongs to a farm. That’s why she moved to the city, with me.
This little orange bird flu-immuned ball-buster of a creature gave birth to 2 eggs on my
vintage 2001 Prada fox fur collar.
The gift registry is also available. Unfortunately, we’re on a time crunch; be sure to check the registry and shower pages often – we can’t wait to post our Tiffany & Co. registry! For now, we have Gump’s (I love Gumps) and Macy’s (bah! but still..)
If you can guess what* the offspring will be, Kelly and BryanBoy.com will send you a US$50 gift certificate at any online store of your choice, for example, Amazon.com.
*You have to be specific on what it is.
It can be a boy, a girl, a pair of rubber chicks, a new boyfriend, a new girlfriend, a dildo, a vibrator, a dog, a cat, a bird, a toy, a new handbag, a new pair of sunglasses, it can be anything! Just guess!
Only one entry per person is allowed. To join, simply email email@example.com with your best guess on what it is exactly inside those 2 eggs.
Deadline ends on Thursday, October 6, 2005, local (YOUR) time, wherever you may be in the world.
Also, please feel free to pass this message to anyone that you know. Publicity is always nice. The more publicity we have, the more gifts that we’ll get. We’re selfish and greedy. You know what I mean.
The winner will be announced on her baby shower, which is on the 7th and Kelly’s H-day (hatching day) is on the 8th.
Questions? Let me know!
Boy what a productive day today was.
I went to my pulmonologist/internal medicine doctor at around 10:00AM and it looks like I don’t have bronchitis. Instead, I have pharyngitis (also known as sore throat) and something else that I totally forgot about, like some sort of an allergic reaction. He prescribed me a ton of meds, like 4-5 pills that I need to take at least once a day – some are twice/thrice per day. He also told me to continue on my nasal spray for 6 months.
I seriously thought I have bronchitis. I mean, gawd, what was I thinking?
I guess I don’t want to die from a respiratory disease, you know? Can you imagine the look on my face, all gagging for one last hit of oxygen, kind of like those suffocation/drowning victims?
Anyway, let’s play pictionary shall we?
Here are pics taken at the hospital’s parking lot before going to the doctor.
Possibly the longest pictionary we had in ages eh?
Apres-doctor, my sisterette and moi went to McDonald’s Drive Thru for lunch. I haven’t had McDonald’s in AGES and I mean AGES – there’s no other way to celebrate the moment by having large fries, a quarter pounder and a large coke.
After McD’s, we parked in front of my aesthetician’s clinic to chow on my cheap yet chic meal.
More pictures from my aesthetician’s parking lot…
I realized I should try different poses in my pictionaries. Here’s yet another one. Isn’t it lovely? Hahahahahahahaha!
So yeah, after all that pictionary effort, I went to my aesthetician, had my usual glycopeel cleaning facial and a power peel/microdermabrasion session. I haven’t had such treatments in the past month – can you imagine how reckless I am with my skin? Ugh! Never again. No wonder I’ve been getting zits as of late.
Kate Moss: Fashion Victim?
Mark your calendars bitches and take note of V-Day as in Video Day, October 3, 2005.
Sky One (UK) will show the controversial footage of Kate Moss snorting everyone’s favourite drug, from royalty to rock stars, supermodels to actors, socialites to the beautiful ones – COCAINE!
Click here to read more.
More updates later. You know where to contact me.
P.S. Sunglasses and shoes by Yves Saint Laurent, bag by Chanel, "The Clash" t-shirt from People R People (Filipino version of Urban Outfitters), old jeans – by Earl Jeans, black jeweled necklace from Valentino, dog tag necklace from Chanel, clapper board necklace from Chanel, studded belt from Top Shop, No5 belt from Chanel, chain bracelet with pearl from Chanel.
A couple of friends and moi have been toying around the idea of buying one of those gorgeous Vertu phones.
I don’t care what y’all say – you can all burn in gold digging hell but one day, oh yes, on day, once I’ve found that good-looking special someone who will spoil me rotten till fruit flies feast on my internal organs, I’ll have him buy me an US$18,750.00 Vertu Yellow Gold mobile phone.
Unfortunately, I’m not flash-cashed enough to warrant such ostentatious appreciation for something a mere Nokia can do. I lose a handful of phones year after year after year and I simply cannot afford losing US$18,750 Vertu phones like candy. Afterall, I’d rather buy precious haute couture for the price of 4 Vertu Phones.
1) Trusty old (it’s so trusty that it’s already crusty) Nokia 6680
2) Fendi mirrored squirrel charm
3) Dior cellphone charm
4) Dior charm
5) Bottega Veneta crocodile leather charm (elephant)
Why settle for 1 charm when you can go all out? I don’t care if my phone weighs like a fuckin brick, it’s all about what’s hanging on there. I’m gonna buy more and more charms and keychains for the electronic device that has gotten me into all sorts of drunk dialling misdemeanor and social trouble for far too many times.
I need to buy 2 new phones, probably either the same model.. or a Moto Razr V3 in black. The Nokia 8800 looks tempting too but it’s too expensivo for a phone.
Bah! I’m always like this; I’m such a penny-pinching, cheap-ass bitch when it comes to spending on all other material items but I guiltlessly throw money away when it comes to designer handbags and clothes.
This post is sponsored by:
Hair Heaven and Hell
I went to the salon today, in spite of feeling very sick. I procrastinated long enough already. Looks like my bronchitis is back. I have the worst cough ever, the crappiest colds, a sore throat and slight fever. Let’s leave my health out of the question now. Save it for tomorrow when I go to the doctor.
I really don’t know whether or not my new hair style/colour is a disaster. All of the comments I received so far (especially the ones coming from my familia de horreur) are good.
As far as I’m concerned, I have always loved my locks my
African-American, African, Euro-Carribean, Carribean, etc. counterparts
woud be proud of – black, black and black.
You see, I don’t care about those who get their locks dyed like a dead hairy animal that Saga Furs would be proud of.
If people want to colour their hair a ridiculous shade of bubble gum pink or a fabulous shade of brown, let them be.
I think this post calls for a Bryanboy Life Archives Moment… haha!
Back to the past we go…
I lost my hair’s virginity to peroxide back when I was 15 or 16. The culprit: one of those cheap, tacky, blonde-in-a-bottle stuff. God knows where I found the courage, the balls and the guts to do it back then.
At that time, everyone must have thought of me as a freak. Even my ex-bf thought I was a freak.
We used to go into one of those fun photo booths that spit out a postcard with what your children will look like based on both of your facial features. They’re called "LoveLove Simulation". 2 people go in, the machine takes a photo, then you wait for like 30 seconds before it prints out funny cards that look like these.
According to the machine, if procreation was possible, our offpspring would look like these:
BTW, I covered my face and that of my ex. Trust me, we both look extremely hideous at that time.
As if I don’t look hideous these days.
Point is, the fact that I had faux blonde hair at one point of my entire life is sufficient enough to give me goosebumps the size of Canada.
That blonde moment is still giving me nightmares right until this day.
If you regret living the 80s, then I regret living 1998.
Life Archives Over.
Now… 7 years later, my hair looks like this.
My stylist at Franck Provost used some shade of brown as base and then a lighter shade for highlights.
It’s really hard to describe what my hair looks like NOW. You have got to see it in person before you make the judgment. The camera flash was prolly too bright, making my hair look awful.
When I look in the mirror, the colour isn’t that noticeable. My hair is still dark… very dark… oh yes… it’s just that there’s a slight difference.
Personally, I think it’s nice… well, nicer than my usual jet black (+ white strands here and there) locks. Even my familia de horreur thinks it’s nice. They thought it’s refreshing.
I dunno. *sigh*
I still have doubts at the back of my head though.
We’ll see how my friends will react when I go out over the weekend.
When I get better that is.
I’m sure I will.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Edgware, England UK, Stavanger, Norway, Miami, Florida (especially to the one who sent me an SMS/Text message earlier), Calgary, Alberta, Chicago, IL, Windsor Park Estate, Singapore, Nedlands, Western Australia, Tempe, NSW in Australia, Boca Raton, FL and finally, people from Studio City, CA! Bryanboy loves y’all bitches! Identify yourselves and tell me you love me.
#2 – Bryanboy loves Cosmo Magazine! Buy Cosmo Magazine’s (Philippines) October 2005 issue. I’m totally honored, honored, honored to be there. Buy this month’s issue now! I’m scanning the entire page once our maid wakes up and put it on my press archive. My scanner/printer isn’t plugged to the extension cord therefore I can’t turn it on and I have a phobia on plugging all things electrical. I took a picture using my camera though.
#3 – Bryanboy loves The Pepper Mill (by Pepper Teehankee) at the Philippine Star. I know my picture looks awful on the monitor cause I didn’t scan the thing but yeah, I think that picture is one of the best pictures I have – on print. I should try to practice that pose often. I shall name it the "little-miss-innocent-princes-takes-a-peek" look. Hahahaha!
#4 – The gold bracelet that I wore today is from Louis Vuitton. I bought it after seeing it at V Magazine (issue 37 – Fall 2005). It’s sooo ghetto fabulous. Wear it with a Birkin bag and it’s very Eurotrash! I love it. There’s a necklace version of it but I don’t think I want to get it.
#5 – I’m being talked about on this forum, Authentic Louis Vuitton Addicts.
Unfortunately, the powers that may be requires all sorts of private
information, including your first born child’s social security number,
date of birth, blood type and DNA/Paternity Test results because you
can’t figure out who the father of the chid was.
It’s fuckin 1:48AM now… I’ll update later. I got up at friggin 3:00PM yesterday because of this damn respiratory-related disease (bronchitis, cough, colds) that I have. Ughhh why can’t my health fuckin deteriorate at a different time. Trust me sweetheart, no more Dunhill Lights for me.
Believe it or not I haven’t had a cigarette since Wednesday around 4AM!!!!
You know where to contact me… firstname.lastname@example.org or +63-915-785-1492.
(as always. say it with me now… Bah-boosh! No, not Ba-bush like George Bush, but, Baboosh as in Baboosh-ka!)
P.S. This one’s courtesy of MadeinBrazil.Typepad.com and for all the girls and faggots out there.
Meet Mateus Verdelho.
Click here for pics… and even more pics.
Do you think he can make you cream your panties?
Y’all tell me when you want to go to Brazil and I’m buying first class plane tickets for myself pronto.
30 Bags in 30 Days
You have got to click on this link. That Fendi Spy Bag is giving me an orgasm. I should’ve picked one up at the Fendi Store over the weekend. God I’m such a bastard. I guess I shouldn’t feel bad cause I picked up a Goyard.
All these hot bags are up for grabs – Fendi Spy bag, Luella faux-Birkin, Hermes Kelly, Dolce & Gabbana python, Chloe Paddington, Vuitton Keepall, YSL canvas totes and more!
Bryanboy Loves Kids
Not in a sexual way, of course. I’m too young to be a pedo darling and the only ones I like are those who are waiting for Mother Morticia to pick them up on their deathbeds.
Speaking of deathbeds, I could barely get out of bed earlier. I thought I was dying.
Imagine waking up extremely late on a Wednesday, with a massive hangover, a sore throat, a runny nose and a horrible cough.
I think I have the flu… or something else. I’m definitely going to the docs tomorrow and see what they have to say.
Overall, I was completely wasted and the only thing that brightened up my day was this little present that I received via email, f
lesh fresh from Australia.
Isn’t he the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?
Prima-facie evidence that you can never be too young to be fabulous!
Move over, Papa John!
Move over, Papa John cause we’ve got a new breed of sex tourists in town! Old, hairy white pensioners are out! Who knew that Angeles City (prostitute central) now attracts a ‘younger’ kind of crowd?
Meet Dan, a 23 year old from Simi Valley, California, who likes to bang 3 prostitutes at the same time. One can only imagine where his tongue and his cock goes to… STD-infested orifices that hundreds, if not thousands, of cocks have landed before. Eugh. How disgusting! I dunno who to feel sorry for. The girls who sell their souls and their dignity in exchange for cash, or the horny-as-hell-and-damned-proud-of-it white man who goes around waving his std’ed-pogo-stick.
Welcome to the land of the brown, the l’exotique and the natives!
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from New York City, NY (that includes a certain somebody from FHM USA… he knows who he is), Columbus and Toledo, OH, Osaka, Japan, Amstelveen, Holland, Salt Lake City, UT and of course people from Loves Park, IL and Guaynabo, Puerto Rico. Bryanboy loves y’all.
#2 – Many thanks to Jackie and Marco for taking care of me on Tuesday. Leslie, you gorgeous, gorgeous mama, sorry I didn’t make it to the club tonight. It would be horrible and extremely awful of me if I go out and infect each and every one of you with my third world germs. It was nice to chat with you the other night and I hope to see you again in the future, NYC, Manila, wherever it may be.
#3 – Exclusive Interview with Uncle Karl. Warning to my fellow countrymen: the Philippines is not even acknowledged by Dom Perignon on the location drop down menu. That’s how THIRD-WORLD we are. Click here to see the interview.
#4 – It’s bye bye Lacroix for Pucci and hello Matthew Williamson.
#5 – A big hello, hugs and kisses to my fan Sylvia, who lives in Milan, Italy. Lucky, lucky bitch for being soo near to the shows and easy access to all the stores etc. Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch!
#6 – Milan Fashion Week is at full swing. Every gay boy’s favourite designer, Dolce & Gabbana’s 20th anniversary show is going to be broadcasted live on the internet on the 29th. Here’s an invite and the link to see the broadcast.
I probably won’t watch the show myself but to salute Domenico and Stefano for their contribution to every young gay man’s (from New York to Miami, London to Sydney, Milan and Singapore) wardrobe, I bought a pair of green suede and leather sneakers at Harvey Nichols over the weekend.
More updates (and photos) later. I’ll get to camwhore this time cause me and my sis are going to the MALL, the doctors, the salon and aestheticians!
You know where to contact me. email@example.com or +63-915-7851492.
P.S. Does anyone have a copy of the September 27th Philippine Star Newspaper? I’ve been told that my photo was there, on the lifestyle section. My oh my. If you have a copy and don’t mind scanning it, please email me with a photo so I can put it on my online library.
P.P.S.S. Bryanboy loves Cosmo Magazine Philippines. Be sure to buy a copy of the October Issue, out on the newstands now, cause I’m there!