- Fashion Blog
2:06 pm

Hollywood Trash


Hollywood Trashtastic

It’s my party… and you may CRY if you want to.

Oh my God. You want to talk about mothers?
You wanna talk about mothers!
It’s mother time, okay!

Your mother’s so dumb she went to Dr Dre for a Pap smear!
"Something’s wrong, Dr Dre! My coochie’s doing a beatbox!"

I’ll see you all tonight! We’re gonna party till the cows come home.

Special thanks to Absolut for the lovely Absolut Raspberri. The Bryanboy Babooshtini (yes, I even have my own drink) won’t exist without it.

More to come later. I have a party to prepare for and it’s in 8 hours!

I love you all. Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

5:21 am

I’m depressed and it’s my fucking birthday

21/03/2006, Fashion

I’m depressed and it’s my fucking birthday

I just turned 17 today 5 hours ago.

There’s definitely something in the air. I’ve been shopping (and eating) too much recently. You can usually tell I’m depressed when a) I’m gaining weight or b) I just added a ridiculous amount of new items to my wardrobe. It’s been proven that overeating and overshopping can make all my Academy Award-winning depression moments go away but this time I was wrong… I don’t mind being left bankrupt; I could always sell my ravaged rectum to a dirty old white guy and let his schlong hit my prostate for a couple of grand per hour. I just don’t want to be fat and that’s exactly where I’m heading.

Believe it or not, I managed to stay indoors over the weekend. It’s been quite awhile since I spent BOTH Friday and Saturday nights at my familia de horreur’s birdcage. I think it’s because of the fact that I got drunk on Tuesday and Wednesday last week. Oh well. At least I have bragging rights that *I* can stay at home on the weekends and I’m not really a party person.

Who am I fooling?

Anyway, I finally got hold of my new Fendi Spy bag.


I almost had a cardiac arrest when I opened the box… I (initially) got soooo disappointed with my Fendi Spy. It’s made out of Nappa leather and it’s supposed to be "metallic gold". It wasn’t even THAT metallic… it was gray! Pearlized gray! I called one of my bag hags and told her it felt as if it was made out of styrofoam and it looked like the stuff they use on car interiors.


I totally had a bitch fit so I decided to pop my Spy bag’s cherry. I gave it a spin around town on Friday afternoon. I went shopping. Yes, I fucking took that yellow brick road to Louis Vuitton. Satan made that house, I’m telling you. I could never, at least in this life, leave that bloody store empty-handed. Ok, I did once. With Mrs. T.

Anyway, it’s a serious disease. I made a personal pact that I will never set foot in that store this year and I’ve broken that promise many, many times. Heck, I even missed all of their events and parties in the past few months in order not to drop mad cash but here I am, back to my old habits again.

I really should stay away from Louis Vuitton. It’s driving me insane!!!

Heck, I was thinking of buying a fake LV bag, waltz inside Louis Vuitton’s premises, hit some random punter with my faux bag and finally get a restraining order that prohibits me from setting foot at LV for 1 year. I know I’m not the only one who wants to stay away from LV. Why isn’t there a support group for people like me?

Enough LV Madness.

Anyway, so yeah, I took my spy for a spin and I fell in LOVE with it. The bag is soo lightweight and it can hold a shitload of stuff. I wouldn’t mind using this bag in the event I turn into selling heroin for money. It’s such a gorgeous piece.

The bag is pretty much like a good friend that you fall in love with… over time. The more I use the bag, the more I like it.

Thumb22Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Laughlin. NV, De Soto, KS. Elizabethtown, KY, Joliet, IL, Salt Lake City, UT, Rome, Italy, Wuhan, China, Grinnell, IA, Milan, Caavera, Andalucia Spain, Louisenruh, Bayern Germany, Chester, MD, Sesto, Sardegna  Italy, Narva, Estonia, Bristol, United Kingdom and of course, all the fabulous people in San Francisco, CA. I love each and every one of you. Heck, you know I’d be more than happy to give you sexual favors of any kind. Say hi you fuckin cunts.

#2 – Don’t believe that whole "the best things in life are free" adage. Whoever invented that saying probably didn’t have access to Chanel or Hermès at that time. You know how I am… I substitute sex with Chanel, love with Vuitton and friendship with Dolce & Gabbana. This is how I managed to survive in the past 17 years. I’m kidding.

Here’s what I think: the best things in life are free AND EXPENSIVE. I had a 2-hour online chat fest with Mrs. T, who, by the way, is pretty much the only form of "support group" that I have at this time of the day (4AM), and she sent me a lovely birthday present… a gift that will give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

Being the pretentious gay twink that I am, I was gonna brag on how Mrs. T gave me a crocodile Kelly bag for my birthday until I read her note where it clearly indicated "Love this foto coz this foto is your gift from me".


Oooooh I am sooo fuckin envious. I’m gonna see you in designer hell Mrs. T.

Fuck it, I REALLY WANT A CROCODILE KELLY/BIRKIN BAG! That would be the best birthday present EVER!

#3 – Look at what I got as a birthday present over the weekend… a 3-month old baby!!! I’m thinking of good male names for a German Shepherd.

Sometime last year, my Miniature Pinscher baby, Daria, passed away due to some liver and kidney infection. She gave me a lot of love and affection in spite of having her for only a month. I still miss her though.

Hopefully my new baby will do the same.

Shit, hopefully my new baby give me my much-need masculinity and testosterone action I never had.



He’s sooo big and he’s sooo lovely! He needs to be thoroughly trained though. I’ll make sure I’ll take the extra mile just to take care of him.

#4 – Get your Hollywood trashtastic outfits ready cause we’re gonna party until the cows come home.

#5 – I think the best birthday present one can give to himself is the gift of good health. I need to stop smoking ASAP. I know I said I want to die ala Nan Kempner, complete with her couture and her portable oxygen tank. I want to take that back. I don’t want to die with a lung or heart disease. I want to die of old age.

#6 – I am sooo happy to know that I’m not the only one who is gaining weight these days.



#7 – Random Cheesemax on the net

  • click here | L’Oreal Buys The Body Shop for $1 Billion. Holy fucking shit.
  • click here | Someone please buy me this trunk as a birthday present
  • click here | That gay Stephen Gately of Boyzone fame got married… to a man, of course
  • click here | And I still can’t believe Perez got to hang out with La Lohan. Lucky git. Imagine me hanging out with John Galliano.

I think that’s all for now. I’m gonna sleep in a bit cause I have to do some errands later today. It’s friggin 5:18AM and I need to be up before 12 noon.

As always, you know where to contact me. Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

It’s my 17th birthday today god dammit. Don’t be a cheapskate and buy me presents. Email me and I’ll tell you where to send them.

It’s my special day so you better buy me something nice.

Never forget: the best things in life are free and expensive.

I love you all.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

2:38 am

You Give Love A Bad Name, I Look Sooo Fucking Healthy

18/03/2006, Fan Art, Fashion, Press Coverage, Random Cheesemax

You Give Love a Bad Name

Shot through the heart and you’re to blame. You give love a bad name. I play my part and you play your game. You give love a bad name.

From San Diego, California and Paris, France to right here in the heartlands of the third world, fawning fuckwits all over the world are sending photos of their love to me, planet earth’s favourite third world fag and the crown princess of pretentious people everywhere.

Keep them coming bitches. As always, you know where to send them. Email You know I love you all and I’d be more than happy to give sexual favours anytime, day or night, winter, spring, summer or fall, all you have to do is call and I’ll be there oh yes I will, you’ve got whore.

I Look Sooo Fucking Healthy

Those pesky paparazzi (hah!) won’t stop following me. They should know that Fridays are big errand days and I have no choice but to dress down. I went to The Coffee Bean earlier, followed by a quick trip to Rustan’s (my fave third world department store) to stock up on cosmetics and fragrance. I also went to the supermarket with Eunice, our maid, had dinner at a Chinese place and last, but not the least, got my usual glycopeel cleaning/extraction facial and microdermabrasion/power peel session at my dermatologist’s. Let’s play pictionary, shall we?

Looking at those pictures, I have to say that I have NEVER, EVER, EVER EVER EVER, looked so healthy in my entire life. I look so obese! I’ve got sooo much FLESH, FLAB and CREASES. It really is not funny anymore.

I don’t care about other people so please spare me from that whole "if you’re fat then I must be a beached whale" tirade. It’s ME that’s the problem. I eat far too much and I just can’t stop. I think this is karma for giving my younger brother a hard time for being obese. I’m telling you, in spite of the all the abuse I gave him over the years, he’s still fat. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kid.

031706_0020I was supposed to finish my article for shopping magazine (Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Just Shop) early this evening but I was busy shoving Chinese food down my throat.

Enough ranting. Moving on…

Oversized black men’s tank top (size small) by Ann Demeulemeester, men’s vest by Dsquared, jeans by Acne, bag by Hermes, necklace by H&M, boots by Fruit.

Isn’t it amazing how I’m wearing men’s clothes (I said clothes, not accessories) yet I effotlessly make them look as if they came from the women’s section?

Bah! I’m really fed up of people thinking I’m a trannie.

I only have 2 things to say…



Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Honolulu, HI, Petrie, QLD Australia, Elsternwick East, VIC Australia, Bolton, ONT Canada, Lima, Peru, Shanghai, China, Wahroonga, NSW Australia, Nordstemmen, Germany, Hanoi, Vietnam, Tampa, FL, Ashburn, VA, River Forest, IL and of course, people from San Jose, CA. I love each and every one of you, I swear.

#2 – This is exactly why I **LOVE** Mary Kate. Nobody else in this planet can pull off the "I’m-a-little-girl-playing-dress-up-with-mommy’s-clothes" look other than the Olsens. Check out the coat and the shoes. I love it.


#3 – It looks like Dior’s Gaucho bag is here to stay. There’s snakeskin… and lizard (?) for fall/winter 06/07. Hmmm… believe it or not, I haven’t really seen any celebs carry the Gaucho yet.


Me likey likey the croc version!!! I think it’s beautiful. Me needy needy rich sugar daddy now.


#4 – Here’s my beauty loot for the day. I bought 2 fragrances: L’Artisan Parfumeur – Jour de Fete and Annick Goutal – Mandragore. I also picked up Dior Addict Ultra Gloss Pearl Shine Collection lip gloss in radiant gold and iridescent pink, Chanel cristalle lip gloss in vanilla dream, Lancome Juicy Tubes, Clarins self-tanning gel, Citre Shine hair straightening balm and pomade. This is why I love buying beauty products… they always give you freebies. I got this Dior cosmetic bag with samplers as well as this huge straw (?) clutch.


I just realized, why am I paying for beauty products?

Those damn beauty editors of magazines have it lucky. I bet you they get all of this stuff for free. I once read an article on British Vogue about this British Beauty Editor and her house was literally filled with cosmetics and toiletries, including her kitchen cupboard!

One of my good friends used to be a beauty editor and she told me that her car trunk was constantly filled with goodies back when she held her position at the magazine.

#5 – URGENT NOTICE: I got an email or two from some of my friends telling me that I recently sent them a file that is infected by a virus/worm. God knows who else might have gotten such emails.

FYI: IT’S NOT ME WHO DID IT!!!! Someone’s computer (with both of OUR email addresses) got infected and the worm is using random email addresses to send the virus to other people.

For instance, the email I got said the virus is called "W32/MyDoom-Gen". I went to Symantec’s website (Norton Anti-Virus) to know more about it and they said the virus is a mass-mailing worm that sends itself to the email addresses found on a compromised computer.

I recommend that you update your computer’s ANTI-VIRUS software with the latest virus definitions. I know I’ve got mine on auto-update.

6. Miscellaneous Cheesemax from the net

  • click here | Kim Basinger for Miu Miu
  • click here | Missoni to open its first hotel in Edinburgh, Scotland


You know you’re a celebrity when people start asking autographs and pictures of you.

Well, I went to my favourite cafe on Tuesday afternoon and several people (ok, 4 people total LOL) asked to take pictures of/with me.

I’m telling you, I fucking love it. It’s soooo hilarious!

Shit, I’m not even famous!!!!

When someone asks to take a photo with me, I’d be more than happy to oblige. Pictures are pictures. I’m probably the BIGGEST camwhore in the world. Nobody took pictures of me when I was a child (yeah right) and it’s only until now that I’m airing out my frustrations…

Anyway, one of the folks who approached me and asked whether he can take a photo of me or not was this guy. I think his name is Erwin. He’s such a sweet fellow.

(Translation: I saw Bryan at M Cafe and of course, I didn’t pass the opportunity to take a picture of him with me. I’m really a big fan of him and his blog. All I can say is he is so sweet. When we approached him, oh my god, I looked like a PA/Personal assistant. His aura is really different. Oh my god, as in! I love Bryanboy)


I told him of course he can take photos of me and he shouldn’t be silly. His friend then told him something like "see, I told you he’s nice".





I want to be just like this prostitute. Hell yeah why not? There’s nothing wrong with being an attention whore!!!!!


I love it. I really do.

I think that’s it for now. More updates coming soon.

I love each and every one of you. Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

11:16 pm

Paris <3 Bryanboy

10/03/2006, Fan Art, Shilebrities

Paris <3 Bryanboy

Lookie lookie at what I found earlier at CelebWorld. Paris and I have the same Marc Jacobs Collection bag except mine is black.


And I love that pic of her doing the infamous bryanboy pose.


Yes, I know she’s about to put her bag on top of her Bentley (?) Maserati (?) but who cares.

Eat your heart out.

Hahahahah! I’ll update in a bit.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

8:48 am

If Looks Could Kill…, Phone Fun with Bryanboy, Sweet Scent of Logo-Free Success

09/03/2006, Current Affairs, Fans, Food and Drink, Press Coverage

If Looks Could Kill…

DanielondizI can’t even remember as to when exactly I last bitched about someone I really, really despise but here goes…

Before I do so, let me just say that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You know me… I just don’t have any shame sometimes.

In spite of whatever bitching that you see here, keep in mind that I’m a REALLY nice and sweet person. Promise.

Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a heroin syringe (hell, morphine is good, too) in my eye… but since I’m immortal, it’s pretty much impossible to erase me from the face of this planet.

Now… meet Mr. Daniel Ondiz. He’s this mongrel who lives in the UK who troll every single post I make in some online internet forum. He’s half Filipino, half something something. Whatever. All roads lead to perdition but for some strange reason, he ended up somewhere in bumfuck Scotland. I assume his reformed prostitute mother married some sad git.

Bitch had the nerve to call me ugly.

Now I generally don’t have a problem with that. Hello, it’s a known fact that I have a face only a biological mother can love but when that statement is coming from someone who looks like a complete turd and then saying he’s gorgeous and I’m not, then that’s where the problem starts.

That Daniel made me choke on my own vomit when I saw one of his recent pics.

It’s not even funny.


Shit, I am so glad he’s gay. I have absolutely no words as to what his offspring would be like. I know any of my future offspring can give Saffie Monsoon a run for her money.

Looking at his photo will make ANYONE in this god damn planet feel BETTER about themselves.

Ooooooh I really despise him. He’s such an asshole.

I even asked one of my best, best friends the first thing that came to his mind when I showed him his photo.

Life is beautiful my friend. Sadly, not this guy’s.

I’m gorgeous, you’re ugly INDEED.

Whew. Now that has been said, I’d like to thank you for allowing me the opportunity to vent. This is exactly why I love my blog. This little narcissistic shrine of mine is sooo therapeutic, it’s better than seeing my shrink.

You see, I have the option to either:

a) keep all my derogatory thoughts about him to myself and be insane for the rest of my life or

b) cleanse my mind, body and soul by purging all my dirty sins in the form of a blog post no matter how defamatory it may be.

I’d rather choose the latter…

I have to be TRUE to myself you know. They don’t call me the big brown bitch from hell for nothing.

Phone Fun with Bryanboy

Wait a sec.

Save your sanctimonious sermons. Before you castigate me and tell me I’m ugly too (so I don’t have the right to criticize satan’s spawn)

Well guess what? Even if Natasha Poly and Gemma Ward is one (very tiny) notch prettier than me, I do have the right.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think he’s ugly. Hahahahaha!


We’re all gonna burn in hell anyway so why should we deprive ourselves of some good ol’ fun?

Ok. Next!

This is EXACTLY why I love posting my phone number online. It’s little (priceless) moments like these that make life worth living.

Random stranger called my number earlier this morning and hung up. He did one of those "missed call" things and expected me to call him back.

I sent him a message telling him I don’t call strangers who are not on my contact list.

A couple of hours later, random stranger calls again. Read the rest of the messages.




I also sent him/her a followup message 30 minutes later that said "Well?????".

Message #36 is the last message I got. I think I scared him/her away.

Thanks for giving me a good laugh. That really made my night. I was sooo bored earlier and I needed something to make me smile.

Sweet Scent of Logo-Free Success

I had a blast Friday last week. Definitely one of the best nights I’ve ever had in this town… and I managed it without a single logo in sight. You know how I’m trying to avoid anything that’s got a logo this year, whether it’s LV, interlocking CCs, Dior, etc.

After several months of planning, a good friend and I finally had a dinner date. She brought me to a French restaurant called "Je Suis Gourmand".

Words cannot describe how wonderful the food was. The foie gras and white asparagus was TO DIE FOR. My steak was fabulous. Each course is rich and scrumptious… perfection! Heck, it’s been 6 days already and I’m STILL bloated from all that food intake last Friday.

For your reference, a 3-course meal for 2 plus several glasses of white wine will set you back about US$85. It’s MONEY well-spent. Trust me on this one.

Je Suis Gourmand is located at GF Net1 Center Bldg., Fort Bonifacio, beside Neo Spa and BPI. Phone number is +63.2.815.8801.

Apres-dinner, my friend Ianne and I went to this bar called "Luce" to celebrate an acquaintance’s birthday party.

Top by Marc by Marc Jacobs, belt and tie by Topshop, pin by Versace, handbag by Marc Jacobs Collection, jeans by Cheap Monday.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Eindhoven, Noord-Brabant Holland, Riga, Latvia, Manchester, UK, Langley, BC Canada, Champigny-sur-Marne, France, Hung Hom, HK, Rome, Italy, Ostrava, Moravskoslezsky Kraj Czech Republic, Visaginas, Lithuania and of course, all the beautiful people of Rio De Janeiro, Brazil! I love each and every one of you… say hi, mother fuckers!

#2 – Courtesy of one of the gayest blogs evar,, Karl Lagerfeld appears to have a gorgeous friend.



#3 – An urgent cry for help. Can someone please watch/listen to this video and tell me the name of the track that’s being played around the middle to the end of the clip? It’s the track where all the gorgeous are mincing on the runway and where Zac is being interviewed. I think the song is either spanish or italian. I’m not sure.

Click here to watch the video

All I know is that "na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na" thing got me obsessed. I downloaded a copy of that video on my video ipod and had the thing run on my speakers for HOURS!!!

Believe it or not, for the very first time in my life, I’m lusting over Zac Posen. Not his clothes, silly, but him and his slimy, dirty looks. I think he’s kinda hot. For some strange reason, he’s got this weird sex appeal, thanks to that video. I can totally envision him giving it to me hard up my bum. Curly hair and all.

#4 – I love it when people do the infamous Bryanboy handbag pose. Be creative! Be spontaneous! In fact, get the best muscle mary you can find, strip him naked, cover his crotch with an "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign and get him to smile for the camera.

Big shout to all my fabulous lovers (and posers) below…

Kudos to Diesel @ Diesel is soooo cute!!!!!!!! I’ll definitely pay him a visit if ever I get my ass down to Melbourne, Australia.

As always, you know how to contact me. Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

8:32 am

Bryanboy Bent

06/03/2006, Film

Bryanboy Bent

I wish I knew how to quit you….

Well, why don’t you? Why don’t you just let me be huh? Because of you Jack that I’m like this. I’m nothing… I’m nowhere…ohhh


I’m probably the last person to ride the Brokeback bandwagon but what the heck…



As if you didn’t know that.

I finally had the chance to watch FIGHT FOR YOUR LOVE GODDAMMIT!

Their love affair started in 1963 and lasted for around 20 years.

Shit, had I been on their shoes, I would’ve saved for roundtrip plane tickets for 2, fly to New York City, suck a shitload of cocks, get my asshole fucked, throw glitter in the air, wear Halston gowns and snort high-quality cocaine in good ol’ Studio 54.

They chose to have "high altitude fucks" in Brokeback Mountain instead.

I used to fly to friggin Europe 4 times a year for around 2 years to do the same thing except I didn’t go to some silly rurality… I went to London (and Edinburgh) instead.

Man, I miss those days. It literally was just like Brokeback Mountain. Me and this guy would check-in at hotels for a day or two during weekends, get ourselves drunked and drugged up listening to trance tunes and end up cuddling. We were both 17 at that time.

Oh well. The things people do for love eh?

Remember kids: sa though, it’s Ennis’ (Heath Ledger) fault. Damn minimum waging shepherd can’t come to terms with his own sexuality. Those faggots in denial are something… I’m telling you, they fuck everyone’s lives up, including their own.


Their love affair started in 1963 and lasted for around 20 years.

Shit, had I been on their shoes, I would’ve saved for roundtrip plane tickets for 2, fly to New York City, suck a shitload of cocks, get my asshole fucked, throw glitter in the air, wear Halston gowns and snort high-quality cocaine in good ol’ Studio 54.

They chose to have "high altitude fucks" in Brokeback Mountain instead.

I used to fly to friggin Europe 4 times a year for around 2 years to do the same thing except I didn’t go to some silly rurality… I went to London (and Edinburgh) instead.

Man, I miss those days. It literally was just like Brokeback Mountain. Me and this guy would check-in at hotels for a day or two during weekends, get ourselves drunked and drugged up listening to trance tunes and end up cuddling. We were both 17 at that time.

Oh well. The things people do for love eh?

Remember kids: say NO to people who have trouble dealing with their sexuality… and say NO to long distance relationships.

I laughed soooo hard seeing Anne Hathaway’s transformation. From Princess Mia Thermometeropolis of the Princess Diaries to this:


"Knowing Jack, it might be some pretend place… where bluebirds sing and there’s a whiskey spring."




you got a better idea?

i did once.

you did once?

ever been to paris, bryanbent?

cause i hear what they’ve got in paris for boys like you.

hell yes i’ve been to paris is there a fucking problem?

im gonna tell you this one time bryan fucking bent and i’m not phonin’


Thank god it’s 2006.

More updates later. I’m still sad from the film.

You guys should watch Bareback Brokeback Mountain if you haven’t done so. It’s moving and touching. It’s a story of love.

And yes, you, too, will end up wanting Heath Ledger to spit on his fingers, wipe his saliva on your asshole and his cock before ramming it up inside your cowboy ass till the cows come home.


I love you all. Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

P.P.S.S. There’s soooo much NATURE in the movie it’s breathtaking. I have never seen THAT MANY SHEEP in my entire life. Yes!!! Sheep! Greenery! Water! It’s amazing!! NATURE NATURE NATURE!!!!!

7:12 am

February Ends With the Letter “L”.

02/03/2006, Clubbing, Fashion, Games, Press Coverage

February Ends With the Letter "L".

Louis Vuitton, Lancome, Ladyboy Love at La Embajada.


I’m sorry for the lack of updates. I’ve been AWFULLY busy the past few days it’s just CRAZY!

I guarantee that today’s update will knock you off your seats… especially my pictionaries.

Are you ready?


My February ended with a bang. Little miss third world gay
socialite wannabe went out in full force on Tuesday… I got drunk
before sunset and sobered up before dawn.

It’s times like these when I feel that my life is nothing but one big party.

It’s amazing how I can stay at home, indoors, for 3 whole days like
a hermit with no social life whatsoever and then go out as if I’m the
newest IT-girl.

Oh well. :)

First stop: Louis Vuitton.

Louis Vuitton notified me that my green perforated speedy had
arrived. I went to the store for a viewing session and I have to admit
I liked the pink one better. I told them to put it on hold until
Thursday or Friday to decide whether or not I’ll get it. I picked up a
couple of items though – a new ipod case (FYI, I bought a new video
ipod), a little pouch thingie for random sundries and 2 bandanas.


I promised my Mexican friend Mauricio, who now lives in Madrid, that I’m not gonna buy any Louis Vuitton bags this year.

I’m supposed to be doing my best to go "logo-free" but Louis Vuitton is just proving it hard. *sigh*

Next Station: Lancome

You know an event is a success if there’s someone who left the party intoxicated. In case of Lancome, **I’M** the unlucky bastard who got drunk after more than 5 glasses of white wine, 4 glasses of champagne and a glass of vodka tonic. Shit, I have NEVER drunk in BROAD DAYLIGHT! I got there at 3:15PM and left at around 6PM all tipsy.

Lancome threw a launch party for their Blanc Expert Neuro-White line at M Cafe. I’m sooo glad I wore a white t-shirt (Zara).Otherwise I’d feel out of place in a sea of white.

Remember how I got a miniature pinscher late last year (Daria) then she passed away after a month due to a kidney+liver infection? I still miss my baby.

There were 2 canine cuties at the event… a few folks told me I should get myself a pooch but I don’t think I’m ready. I think it’s a sign that I’m better off with dead animals (i.e. fur, leather, steak, exotic skins) rather than have a real, live one. Besides, I already have a cat and a dog.

I went to a local designer’s atelier for a fitting session after the event. I also popped by at the gas station to grab some hotdogs on my way home. I ***LOVE*** pigging out with gas station food. I had like 3 hotdogs the other day. It’s soo damn satisfying.

Trust me, life ain’t a 24/7 festival of caviar and foie gras. Sometimes… yes, sometimes, it’s fun to rough it up and eat trash.


Mmmm yummy!

I was sooo drunk (and full) when I got home. I slept for around 2 hours. I got up at around 11:30PM, showered, dressed up and went to Embassy.

Last stop: Embassy High

Man, who would have thought my favourite Manila nightclub, Embassy,
is one year old? I swear to god, it felt like it’s been there for AGES
cause it’s pretty much the ONLY place/club I go to. Hah!

Yesterday’s theme was "Embassy High". A lot of people wore school-like outfits i.e white shirts, shorts, ties, etc.

I on the other hand went all out in my regalia.


I’m at a complete loss of words so I’ll let the pictures tell the
story. Y’all wouldn’t believe how many times I got hit on by guys. It’s

People who are new to my blog sometimes think I’m a tranny because I
wear handbags, lip gloss, tight jeans etc.I always defend myself by

Fuck it though.

They want tranny, I’ll get them tranny.

I only have one thing to say.




TUESDAY night was definitely SOMETHING.

I had SOOO much fun.

I also had an early night. I got into the club at around 12:30AM and left the club at around 3AM.

My damn driver fell asleep and the bastard won’t pick up the phone. I had to wait for 30 minutes outside the club, looking all cheap, trashy and whore-ish.

THANK GOD I saw a couple of acquaintances who offered me a ride. I told her all I wanna do is look where my driver parked my car. I had to knock on the windows for 5 minutes before my driver got up.

My acquaintances told me to fire him but I won’t. I had to cut him some slack. He’s been up on the road since 8AM.


Tuesday was nothing but fun, fun, fun. I LOVE IT.

I think that’s it for now. A lot of things happened yesterday, Wednesday, and I’ll post them later when I get up.

I love you all as always.

Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492. Bombard me with messages of love and hate so I’ll have a smile on my face when I get up.

Tell me I’m pretty!

Tell me you love my vagina.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

P.P.S.S. Man, I feel like a woman!

9:13 pm

Whether you like it or not, this country is fabulous. Bryanboy reigns supreme.

26/02/2006, Social Awareness

Bryanboy reigns supreme.

This breaking news is brought to you by

You gotta love all that drama going on at one of the key forts in the Philippines. There’s a ton of hoola baloo involving the Marines… same old political-related drama etc.

I’m not even gonna bother with the specifics. Go to CNN, BBC or Google News.

One of my assistants is currently on the field taking photos…


For god’s sake just stop all this drama and get on with your lives.

This country is beautiful.

This country is fabulous.

This country is great.

Long live third world prostitution.

Long live the land of ugly, fat hookers with cellulite.


Long live mixed raced babies as a result of prostitution and miscegenation. Mixed-raced babies are the Chanel of babies.

Long live the land of little brown fuck machines.

Long live the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.


Long live


I love you all.

But I love Chanel more.


I’d love to hear what you think. Email or SMS +63-195-785-1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.


11:58 pm

Envy… Envy Me, Beautiful Day, This is Summer

25/02/2006, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Fashion, Loneliness, Love Life, Manila, Random Cheesemax

Envy… Envy Me


Saucer of Gucci Envy please.


I’ve somewhat lost interest in blogging over the past few days because of this big, bad world I live in. There are many, many cold-blooded and resentful people out there who have nothing to do in their lives. Their bloodstreams overflow with venomous bile hence the need to spread hatred to others.

If you’re gonna talk shit about me or other people, please…. for good times’ sake, be careful (and selective) as to who you talk to.  You’re only making yourself look worse (you already LOOK bad darling) when your bitter messages reach the person you are talking about.

All I can say is… envy breeds malice, spite and ill-will. Why can’t these people get over with their own personal failures and insecurities?

Let me share some quotable quotes. They came from THIS article published by The Catholic News… don’t ask my why I quoted them in the first place. I don’t know what to tell you other than the fact that I’m satan’s shopaholic spawn. Shopping is my religion and the mall is my temple.

"Envy eats away at the insides of its victim, and from its self-torment malice ensues. Envy is particularly adept at noticing and pointing out the faults of others. What I cannot have, I will besmirch or bring low. Or I will say it’s not worth having in the first place."

"A levelling instinct dominates envy. It grows naturally, as Aristotle observed, in relationships between equals. If we’re all equal, why should you stand out? Envy is the besetting sin of all professional groups, a fact most noticeable in the faculties of universities, but not only there, of course. You find it also in prayer groups. The envious prayer group member finds it extremely galling that other people can pray “better” than he or she can. "

"Envy confuses being equal with being identical. We all have equal rights before the law, and equal access to God. But life is otherwise a field of unequal distribution. No matter where I look there’s someone who has something I don’t have, or something I have but in a finer way, or simply more of what I have. Comparison only condemns me to ceaseless torment. "

"The antidote to envy, on the other hand, is growth in self-love and self-acceptance. The envious are not grateful for, or happy in, what they are or what they have. They feel that they are nothing and their nothingness is exposed by the success, achievement, or good fortune of others."

Click HERE to read the full article.

On that profound note, keep in mind that the ultimate form of revenge to these bottom feeders is success.

Gucci Envy ME, anyone?


This blog entry goes out to people who deserve to read this message.

Besides, only the guilty knows what on earth I am talking about.

Set this is stone mother fuckers: don’t drag me into your acerbic and foul lives. Live… and let live. I **WILL** be fucking successful regardless of whatever it is that I want to achieve in life.

I know bad grass NEVER die so… fuck you. Fuck EACH and EVERY one of you.

Moving on…

Beautiful Friday

I got up early yesterday morning cause I have a "Beauty Day" date with a friend. The first thing my mom told me was for me to stay indoors unless I wanna die.

You must have heard all the politics-related insanity going on in the capital of the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.

Riots or no riots, war or peace, heck, I don’t give a flying fuck if all hell breaks loose… I was fucking determined to get my hair done…

… and that’s exactly what I ended up doing.

I met up with friends at H-Salon in Rustan’s Makati to get a color and highlights. I LOVE that place. The service is good and Henry is a doll! I’m gonna go there for color from now on for color.


I thought I’d get my eyebrows done while waiting for their turns to finish their treatments.


Man, it was TORTURE! I wailed like a pregnant bitch who is about to give birth. I have a feeling it was my voice that stopped the riots yesterday.

Thank you Henry Calayag! I LOOOOOVE the color of my locks. I got a ton of comments last night how my hair is sooo nice. The pictures don’t do it justice.

This third world hell hole of a country can burn in hell for all I care but at least I’ve got FABULOUS hair!


Don’t get me wrong… I love my country…. but I have to love my own ass first.

Seriously… some of these people should just stop all these riot/protest nuisance. It was effective for the first 2 times… but you can’t recreate the past. You’re scaring the tourists away and you’re destroying the economy, including my livelihood. Being the local dollar earning prostitute that I am, how the fuck am I supposed to get well-hung clients from far flung places?

Ugh. I don’t even wanna talk anything that has to do with politics. It’s a touchy subject and the only time I’ll talk about it in great detail is when I’m holding public office or when someone with ill-gotten wealth adopts me.

Anyway, yesterday was productive. I accomplished a lot of things. I bought 2 delectable clutch bags. One of them is real snakeskin and the other one is faux croc. I LOVE the way you open/close the bag. These lovely confections will drive a bag thief insane – it took me several hours to figure it out.


Yves Saint Laurent bag, Dolce & Gabbana eel skin and kid fur clutch, Mulberry bag, DSquared shirt, Tim Camino t-shirt.


I love my new Mulberry bag. It looks a bit weird in photos but it’s lovely in person. The color is astounding.

Yes mother fuckers, I’ll update later today. PROMISE!


Mulberry bag, Hermes scarf, Goyard wallet, Goyard agenda, Alain Mikli eyeglasses, Gucci sunglasses, Shu Uemura face powder, Yves Saint Laurent concealer, pens, ipod, lighter, cash, passport.

I ***LOVE*** my Mulberry bag!!!!

It was a good day overall. There must be something in the air. Heck, we even went to the cinema to watch Big Momma. Celine and I packed far too many calories yesterday. We had 3 meals yesterday… in a span of 8 or so hours… oh, and I had 3 enormous scoops of Haagez Dazs ice cream while watching the movie. 

We all went home after the film. I was exhausted at the end of the day. 

And a little depressed.

7 of us went to the movie theatre. A gay couple, 2 straight couples and good ol singleton me.



This is Summer

Even my 2 younger sisters have boyfriends even if I don’t like them that much. Fuck love and fuck being in a relationship.

I have to rely on myself to get love. It’s only ME who loves ME, MYSELF and I.

Until I find someone who will love me, I’m gonna love myself by pouring out my frustrations by shopping.

This is summer right here. Well.. part of it. LOL.

Save the 5-inch Chloe shoe/sandal and Versace clip-on earrings for a rainy day. I wanna to dress up like a whore once or twice this year.

Dior Homme (can’t remember) tuxedo vest, Ann Demeulemeester tank, Paul Smith shoes, Dolce & Gabbana jacket, Dolce & Gabbana t-shirt, Dolce & Gabbana polo shirt, David Szeto pearl necklace, Fruit cowboy boots, Chloe shoes, Versace clip-on earings, Marc Jacobs bag, Dior sunglasses, Tom Ford sunglasses, Marc Jacobs sunglasses, Zodiac chrono watch, Dior Homme tie, Versace pin, Louis Vuittn bag, Strenesse caftan, Ike watch, Etro sneakers, Eme Jota gazelle fur bag, Oscar de la Renta faux croc portfolio clutch, Nancy Gonzalez python minaudiere.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Ca Quarta, Veneto Italy, Cambridge, UK, Cagayan De Oro, Philippines, Chicago, IL, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Long Beach, CA, Braddock, PA, Mount Laurel, NJ, Hawthorn, VIC Australia, Honolulu, HI, Easthampton, MA, Kilmacanoge, Wicklow Ireland, Cote D’Azur, France, Kanagawa, Japan, Toulouse, France, Roslyn, NY and of course, people from Liberec, Czech Republic. I love each and every one of you mother fuckers. Email me and tell me you wanna fuck my fanny.

#2 – Watch out for Podcast #4 coming out in 6 hours!

#3 – See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. YOU ARE EVIL.

#4 – Geography is no boundary when it comes to unconditional love and the infamous Bryanboy pose. Here’s one from good ol New York.


#5 – Be sure to go to my Discussion Forums. Say hi, don’t be shy.

I’ve had it. I’m gonna work on my podcast and post here in a bit.

More updates later.

Talk to me you maggots! Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

It’s almost midnight here and I’ll be awake for the next 6 hours.

I love each and every one of you. Someone please buy me a Boucheron watch!


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

11:38 pm

Adoption Notice, Bryan’s Crossdressing Night, Third World Tai Tai, Bryanboy: Lady of Third World Leisure

19/02/2006, Fashion

Adoption Notice

Hannah Matronic: (2/14/2006 10:42:17 PM): ill-gotten wealth is hot
Bryanboy: (2/14/2006 10:42:19 PM): I KNOW


I was originally gonna post an in-depth entry about my Adoption Notice out to the public. I wanted to be adopted by someone with ill-gotten wealth but I decided to back out in the last minute because it suddenly occured to me that nobody will adopt anyone over the age of 12, let alone adopt anyone twice that age.

I posted my adoption poster though for posterity’s sake. Don’t get me wrong… ill-gotten wealth is cool… shit, wealth, regardless whether it’s ill-gotten or legitimate, is fabulous.

I think the best option at this point is to dig platinum through traditional methods. Being self-employed (aka prostituion) is one thing, selling your soul to satan is another.

I like the former. Screw dignity at this point. I’m gonna be a prostitute one day. The idea of having lots of sex and getting paid for it is fucking awesome.

Friday_002_1Third World Tai Tai

"Tai Tais, a Cantonese term, are wives or mistresses of wealthy businessmen, the occidental equivalent being ladies-of-leisure or, to put it less chivalrously, trophy wives. In the Asian context, they are a relatively recent phenomenon, arising from the East Asian economic resurgence of the past half-century, though they could trace their ancestry to the concubine traditions of Chinese history. Tai Tais are famed for their exquisitely groomed and attired persons made possible by their spouses’ wealth. They often become fashion icons if they possess the requisite qualifications of taste, a model to be followed by other Tai Tais and Tai Tai wannabes. Being of widely disparate backgrounds, often there is little else other than their sartorial splendor to immediately distinguish them as a class. So it is very understandable that they seek to mould their identities on their consumption."
Karunanethy Kalaivani

I don’t care what you think but it’s been quite awhile since I dabbled around my delusions of gradeur.

What was I thinking yesterday when I said I wanted to have a career in the healthcare industry? I must have been on a morphine drip to have such ludicrous thought.

Oh fuck it. Friday_003_1After Friday’s frolics, I decided I don’t want to be famous. Heck, I even don’t want to be a star! And I definitely don’t want a career as a standup doyenne of comedy either.

I know it would take more than a ton of skin-whitening products, a facial reconstruction (i.e. eyelash removal and eyelid folding) and a last name with no more than 1 vowel… but yeah….

I think I want to become a TAI TAI when I grow up!!!!!

I’m envisioning mammoth National Portrait Gallery-worthy murals of me, myself and I, followed by a nice gold plaque that says "BRYANBOY: LADY OF THIRD WORLD LEISURE". Those murals will travel all over the world, from the Hermitage to the Louvre, Smithsonian to the MET.

Nina Wang – Asia’s Richest Woman
Flamboyant widow Nina Wang has walked out of Hong Kong’s top court $4 billion richer after beating allegations that she had forged her late husband’s will in her favour. Mrs Wang, known for a girlish style of dressing that includes miniskirts, leather tops, and pigtails, will move to have the criminal charges against her quashed.Sydney Morning Herald

Generations upon generations of girls and faggots worldwide will gasp and revel in my glory.

Hoardes of tourists will pose in front of those murals, emulating their best renditions of the infamous Bryanboy pose.

Fabulous eh? Don’t get pissed at me cause I thought of it first.

Bah! I can’t even get a fucking billboard on one of Manila’s main thoroughfares let alone have my own mural.

Enough fantasy… for now.

Bryan’s Crossdressing Night

Bryanman and the birthday boy, DJ

Nothing is more fun in this world than bending the rules of gender.

I went to a friend’s birthday party yesterday at L’Opera for a couple of drinks, wearing an outfit Ellen Degeneres would be proud of. The theme of the party was moda mafia black.

I got many many comments from people that I looked good on my outfit, it was quite… errr… different. I kinda disagree with them though after seeing my pictues. Nevertheless, I’m flattered and I love it! I think I’m gonna dress up like a boy man more often.


I’m sooo glad I dressed for the ocassion… I didn’t even know everyone was dressed to the nines until I arrived…. and to think, I was planning to show up wearing a black tank top and jeans!!! HAHAHAHA.






Shit, do I really have to dress like a butch lesbian these days to get attention? An acquaintance even told me I looked better as a man than a woman. Oi vey!

It really was great night out!!!! I had sooo much fun.

After L’Opera, I went to a little gay night house party thing in the city, followed by a stint at La Embajada.

OMG. the most embarassing thing EVER happened to me. I totally felt like Stavros-Niarchos-Denied-At-Pure-Nightclub-Las-Vegas yesterday night when I went to the ONLY club I go to in this city.

You see, my usual haunt recently changed some of its staff. Gone are my favourite waiters etc. Even Aslie, my favourite resident door bitch, who let us skip the lines, wasn’t there. They had this new girl in place guarding the clipboard.

When I walked in, the lady asked for my name.

Naturally, I gave it to her.

Then she told me I wasn’t on the list.

Say what now?

I didn’t wanna put on an argument so I told her "ok, thanks" then off I went outdoors.


Ooooooooh it was sooo embarassing.

List? What list? I never get into those lists cause I always, always, always, ALWAYS get in!!!

Luckily, a friend just arrived so all 3 of us went together.

The manager was there when we went back into the club. He apologised profusely… the clipboard girl was new.

We went to the vip area and stayed for no longer than 5 seconds. It was packed with so many people, stepping on someone’s non-vip shoes was inevitable. I’m surprised nobody died from oxygen deprivation.

Apres-club, we drank the entire night away at the restaurant downstairs till dawn.

I guess it really proves that I’m a mortal too, contrary to what some of you think.

I always find it funny and amusing when people ask me if I’m "THE FAMOUS BRYANBOY" whenever I go out.

I’m not famous, I swear!

I’m just someone with a foul mouth and a voice that wants to be heard.

Heck, I don’t even wanna be famous. Fame can lick my scrotum and my ass crack.

If I were famous, the central bank of the third world will have my name and my face printed on US$20 bills. I’d have my own statue, my own monument and people all over the world will worship me like god.

Bryanboy: Lady of Third World Leisure

I left my dad’s house at 9:30AM on Friday morning with no sleep from the previous night whatsoever, for a business meeting. I went to my favourite cafe and ordered steak and eggs.


I really can’t wait for my projects to blast off. I’m soo excited!! I just have to make sure I give myself a good kick in the ass to get on with them instead of procrastinating around.

The meeting finished at around 12:30 and I was quite tired. I thought I’d do a little bit of window shopping then go home to catch up with my sleep.

A couple of minutes after I left, I got a text message from a lovely madwoman aka Mrs. T, telling me she’s at the cafe. I love her… she’s soo nice… and her handbag addiction is WORSE than mine! HAHAHAHHAHA!


You see, my handbag illness is acute. I always think it’s gonna go away on its own. If you think mine is bad, hers is CHRONIC! She even gave me nightmares!!! Not once, but many, many, many times. I’m NOT even gonna bother with specifics. SHE KNOWS WHAT HER WRONGDOING IS AND SHE BETTER BE GUILTY OF HER SINS!!!!!!



Before she got to the cafe, I told my friends and the ladies I met for brunch, that I was planning to buy a classic LV mono speedy later in the afternoon.

Imagine the shock, awe and horror I had when I went to Mrs. T’s table… she was decked out in taitai-NIC barbie-goes-preppy chic: pique polo, jeans, the SHOES, the long hair, and of course, that damn LV mono speedy!

(For some strange reason, using the title "Mrs." feels inappropriate to use because she’s sooo youthful, lithe, thin… don’t forget the VERY long and VERY straight hair… whenever I hear "Mrs., I automatically get mental images of babboon-like matrons stampeding their way to my aesthetician’s office for botox shots.)

I joined her and chit-chatted for a couple of minutes.

Apres-lunch, the two of us hopped (not sHOPPED), from one shop to another, in the halls of Greenbelt 4 like rabid rabbits. We were completely out of it!!!!!

First stop: Louis Vuitton

Photo credit: Tresor Makati

The perforated speedy is not as bad as you think. It does look like a mini sac chien… I guess it’s part of the appeal. Nevertheless, I think it’s a cute bag… even the outside pockets are lined in suede!

Isn’t she lovely?

The only time we hushed is when I asked her whether some woman’s Chanel bag was genuine or not… WITHOUT the woman hearing me. I didn’t know whether she was a woman or a teenage girl. She looked like one of those little girls that run for beauty pageants acting like a 40 year old except she was sluttier and she had what looked like a Chanel white cambon (with python) bucket bag. The guy she’s with was rather scary…. 6 foot tall, backwards cap, basketball playAHesque outfit. The type that would punch you in the face in the event of eye contact.

Man, I really need to wear my eyeglasses and I should stop criticizing how other people look when I look like a prostitute myself.


Next Stop: Mix Boutique


I’m still pissed (and I have no one else to blame other my familia de horreur) for missing Celine’s Loungeri Lux line last weekend.

I bought a black tee (size LARGE!!!!!) and Mrs. T helped me pick my ribbons.


The tees run really really small, fyi.

After Loungeri Lux, Mrs T. and moi dropped by at Burberry, Bottega Veneta and Bvlgari.

What can I say… even Blvgari loves me.



Photo credit: Tresor Makati

The bottega bag above is sooo supple and soft.

I had a blast with Mrs. T. That woman is a hoot!!!!!!

Overall I had a nice weekend.

I’ll create another podcast in a couple of hours so if you’re reading this, fire away with your questions!

As always, check out my forums,

Big hugs and kisses from the fabulous turd world.

I love you all!

Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.