Bryanboy.com - Fashion Blog
6:50 am

I’m getting bored…

26/04/2006, Bryanboy.com, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Fans, Press Coverage, Scandinavia, Social Awareness

I’m getting bored…

First things first… I’d like to give a big shout out to readers of Elle Girl magazine in the Netherlands. Thanks for loving and talking about me.

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Ik HOUD van ELKE EN ELKE ÉÉN VAN U! VERZEND ME een BEELD VAN U DIE HOUDEN Het TEKEN Ik van de LIEFDE BRYANBOY! KUSSEN!!!

Ok. My Dutch is all wrong and that’s what I get from using one of those online translator things. Hopefully y’all get the jist out of it. HAHAHAHA!

Moving on…

I finally managed to get my lazy fat ass to my dermatologists yesterday afternoon. There’s a photo shoot I need to go to and I have to look pretty.

First stop: Coffee Bean

THANK god the whipped cream-serving bulldyke of a midget wasn’t there. I don’t want anyone to be spitting on my drink (unless they’re cute, hot and rich… but then again, no cute, hot and rich person will work as a barista) after whingeing on my blog.

Just to be safe, I EXPLICITLY told the lovely lady behind the counter that I DO NOT WANT WHIPPED CREAM on my drink… my wish is her command.

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Cardigan by LAROK, white tank top by Calvin Klein, brown/rust-colored jeans from Acne Jeans (Sweden), boots from Fruit, bag from Hermès, amber and gold necklace from Kenneth Jay Lane, sunglasses from Dior

Boy I got a surprise for all of you.

You see, I often get asked as to who takes my photos. In addition to my familia de horreur members and friends, well, let me unveil one of them. Meet my maid, Eunice.

042606_eunice

Eunice has been my maid for quite some time and she’s the best, best, best friend a faggot like me can ever have. She’s got everything about me memorised. She knows some of my deepest, darkest secrets. She’s been with me through obesity and thin and up to this day, I’ve never heard a single word (.. or grunt) from her in spite of everything that she’s done for me, like cleaning up all my puke on the bathroom floor after a good night out… or  my soiled, skid mark-infested underwear.

My nonsexual wife anorexic daughter Hannah would complain about her "hunchback" maid, Simang, every once in a while.

HOY HANNAH, at least your maid ain’t a lesbian!!!

Today’s obligatory paparazzi shot.042506_paparazzi

I have a feeling my maid Eunice might be a lesbo. I’ve never seen her show any kind of perverted emotion towards guys.

OK… WAITTTTT.. she thinks that Piolo (spelling?) Pascual Filipino actor guy is cute.

Yuck!

She won’t believe me when I told her that he’s gay like a row of pink camping tents.

Oh well.

042606_facial

So yeah, I had my usual glycopeel cleaning/extraction facial.

For the first time in ages, I didn’t feel any pain today. God knows why. I usually have low tolerance for pain, expecially while having a facial done. I know I scream like a pregnant prostitute bitch in labor every time my aesthetician extracts a white head from one of my blocked pore.

Today’s lack of pain made me think about things I don’t usually think about on a day-to-day basis.

For instance, sometime last week, I told a friend on how I’m starting to get bored. I expressed my desire to experience something new, like, learn a new skill or take up cooking classes.

She suggested that we learn a foreign language together… take up French at one of those Alliance Francaise centers. I told her sure, why not. We even checked the availability online and the session that we want won’t start until October. There’s a 3rd and 4th session but we’re both planning to travel around June/July/August.

While the lady pricked my face, I realized I’m at that stage where everything is just stagnant. I’m turning into a stale, 20-something.

I mean, I know I’ve changed tremendously in the past 12 months. However, if I look at it on a different perspective, it feels as if I’m not going anywhere. My life’s at a standstill and I’m doing the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

I told my friend this and she thinks "I’ve gone so far and achieved so much already".

042606_facial1I remember the old times when I used to deny myself from owning to what I’ve achieved in order to delude myself into thinking I have a tiny bone of humility inside me.

But I still can’t can’t help but ask myself the $64 million question.

WHERE AM I GOING AT THIS POINT?

Let’s face it, I won’t deny that all I do is shop, shop, shop, work, work, work, shop, shop, shop, spread my faggotry to the world, shop, work, eat, eat, eat, spread my faggotry to the world, shop, shop, spread my faggotry to the world.

It’s gotten to the point where it’s like a routine.

Shit, it’s MY routine.

Everything used to be fun. Every time I get a material ‘acquisition’…a  bag, a jacket, everything… it brings a genuine smile to my face and I feel soo… contented. I know I once said that being severely materialistic makes up for my lack of non-material things in life. But in all honesty, I don’t take my sense of materialism too seriously. Afterall, it’s only material stuff!

Enough ranting. I already sound like a broken record.

I think it might be therapeutic if I list what I want to happen SOON.

  • have a clear sense of direction on where I’m heading
  • experience something NEW and FUN!
  • learn something NEW… a new skill, a new hobby, whatever

(Would you believe I even went as far as researching VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES in countries like ECUADOR and ROMANIA? I don’t know what came over me considering there’s over 80 million people who need help in my own backyard. My familia de horreur had always told me to stay away from hallucinogenic drugs and the people who take them.)

042606_baboosh

Before you go on a high horse and bombard me with your PREDICTABLE sanctimonious crap, I’m begging you to please avoid telling me to

  • just be "myself" (and)
  • donate to charity.

An escape from reality is what I need. Away from the blog, the Chanel, the Fendi, the Goyard, the shopping, the facials, the cellphone, the internet, the familia de horreur and of course, the sheer thought at the back of my mind that I’m surrounded by vultures who are constantly looking for that perfect opportunity to devour me alive.

I need a holiday. A 1 or 2 month-long vacation. Somewhere extremely remote and far-flung but close to civilization. Somewhere where nobody knows me and I know nobody.

Somewhere like Skåne, Sweden.
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I want to be surrounded by nature. I want to pick fresh flowers, see trees, ride a huge horse. I want to buy a lot of art materials and learn how to paint scenery etc., that sort of thing. I also want to get gangbanged by well-hung farmboys and have hot and horny mixed-race baby-making sex on top of a tractor.

Remember Jakob, the Swedish guy I met up with in Copenhagen> He’s the only person in the world who managed to made me walk (and you KNOW I despise walking) for like 2-3 hours just to find that bloody Little Mermaid Statue?

042606_jakob

Well, he offered to take me to his summer house in Varberg middle of nowhere bumfuck Sweden.

If I take him up on his offer that beats the purpose of me travelling somewhere where "no one knows me and I know nobody".

Hmmm pakipot ka pa alam mo naman kung saan matutuloy yan.

I wanna go to Skåne god dammit.

Oh I’m just soooo bored with life right now. All I need is change. That’s all.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

PPSS. The only thing that making life worth living is your love. And John Galliano.

Bryanboy loves Erick from Vandenberg AFB (Air Force Base?) California. Erick sweetie you do know that one of goals in life is to get gangbanged by the military/navy/army/men in black etc, right? PLEASE GET SOME OF YOUR AIR FORCE BUDDIES TO STRIP NAKED AND HOLD AN I LOVE BRYANBOY SIGN FOR ME.

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Screw the don’t ask don’t tell policy. If I get gangbanged by men in uniform, I want MAXIMUM MILEAGE, MAXIMUM PUBLICITY. I want to make a shitload of MONEY and sell videos of it.

Failing that, the Bryanboy pose picture will do just fine. :)

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You really love me do you now? Can I ride your aeroplane? It’s my aeroplannnneeee…

042606_love3_1 

Alex from Tasmania, Australia. Big kisses from me to you. I love ya lots darling even if you sent me a damn photochopped photo. I SAID NO PHOTOSHOPPED ONES… HAHAHA ;)

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This set of photos is better than PORN!!! I jacked off 10 times and my balls are the size of raisins. Courtesy of Clair from Perth, Australia.

(This is what I call TRUE LOVE)

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PPPSSS. OH MY GOD. THIS VIDEO HAS GOT TO BE THE GAYEST VIDEO I HAVE EVER AND I MEAN EVER SEEN.

I’m gonna go to sleep now. I have a photo shoot later today.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

[pinit]
7:49 am

“Everybody wants to be us.”

25/04/2006, Bryanboy.com, Fan Art, Fans, Fashion, Film, Press Coverage, Random Cheesemax

"Everybody wants to be us."

Lookie lookie at what I found on the internet earlier. It’s a trailer of The Devil Wears Prada.

So far so good. I like the movie already!!! My favourite line? EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE US.

Hahahahah! Classic. I LOOOOOVE IT.

I suddenly had this huge burst of mental images in my head!

MySpace faggots hear ye hear ye. That "Everybody wants to be us" line is going to be MY line of the year!

I can totally picture myself as a nasty, catty, bitchy, self-centered, delusional, egotistical, so-full-of-me-me-me-and-no-one-but-me Mean Girls (Regina George) queen bee-type of person saying that line (over and over and over) to my latest fledgling minions.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I can’t wait to see this movie.

Screw Anna Wintour. I know I love her dearly but I like Carine Roitfeld (Vogue Paris Editor-in-Chief) more. Carine is amazing.

She’s extremely edgy and chic, she has impeccable taste, she’s got a fuck all fuck you attitude on things and she seems lively and fun.

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BryanBoy: i really wanna see carine roitfeld and anna wintour go into a fight and then carine take over american vogue

mauricio: they won’t, they love each other

BryanBoy: they do???

mauricio: haha no. they can’t stand the sight of each other. that’s why they’re never in pictures together

Oooooh I want to be just like her when i get older.

She’s got 2 children, Julia and Vladimir Restoin. I like Julia.

042506_julia

I think she’s pretty… and she used to date Starving Nachos. The Vladimir guy looks like a vampire. Too gothic-looking. Maybe it’s the poor quality of the scan. He sorta looks like Olivier Theyskens in this photo.

My favourite Carine quote: "Black? ‘It’s finished.’ Leather? ‘No good as you get older.’ Jewellery? ‘I hate watches. I never wear these things.’ Thongs? ‘Before I love strings. Now I hate strings.’ Handbags? ‘You can wear a completely transparent shirt and show all the breasts – I don’t care. But I prefer to have my hands in my pocket than to have a nice little bag. So I am not good for all these fashions. They have to sell bags, bags, bags, bags, bags, bags. I hate handbags.’"

Click here to read the full article from the Daily Telegraph.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – I’ll keep this entry short and sweet. It’s 7:10AM and I’m knackered to the bone. I’m gonna sleep in a bit cause I have to wake up early in the afternoon… I’m gonna go to my aestheticians and get myself pampered.

#2 – Bryanboy loves people from Gibraltar, Irvine, CA, Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada, Svartskog, Norway, Seould, Korea,  Atlanta, GA, Perth, Australia, Tampere, Finland (where the hell is this???), Dublin, Ireland, Orrius, Cataluna Spain, Kaarina, Finland, Pico Rivera, CA, Durham, NC, Tulsa, OK, Pasadena, CA, Nueva York, Chiapas, Mexico, Juprelle, Belgium and of course, all the fabulous people from Kingston, Jamaica. I love each and every one of you. Say hi faggots, don’t be shy!

#3 – It’s been quite awhile since I posted your renditions of the infamous Bryanboy pose. I’m gonna create a photo album with all your images sometime this week. Just give me time.

By the meantime, take a look at these photos. You’re all adorable and I love the photos!!!

Kate from Illinois
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Francis from the Philippines
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Hannah and Judy
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Carlo
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Someone who wants to remain anonymous…
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…and of course, Tatiana from France.
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Send me more photos assholes! Be creative! Have fun! Be spontaneous! I want pictures of you doing the ‘pose’ or you holding an I LOVE BRYANBOY sign. You know where to send them. Email bryan@bryanboy.com.

# 4 – Speaking of Stavros, oh my god. He looks really rough and dirty. Eeek!!

042506_stavros

#5  – Lookie lookie on who stole my Fendi spy! Isn’t it great how she lost weight? The face is still flat out fat though. As soon as she sorts out that chin she’ll forever remain OBESE in my books.

042506_kelly

I loooove the image change. Give yourself a good pat on the back sweetie!

#6 – Tora B from Los Angeles emailed me a photo of that Bobby Trendy character. I have NO words. HAHAHAHAHA! Take a look at his skin… and the clothes. My oh my!

So this is what "FAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS" looks like. Oh dear.

042506_bobby

#7 – Ooooo. Look at what I got via email!! Isn’t it loverly?

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I think that’s all for now. I’ll update later in the afternoon.

I love you all as always. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

[pinit]
10:08 am

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax: “I’M QUEEN OF THE JEWS”

24/04/2006, Random Cheesemax

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Eschborn, Germany, Foss, OK, marseille, France, Wiesbaden, Germany, Bellville, South Africa, Santa Maria di Sala, Veneto Italy, Kristiansand, Norway, Tel Aviv, Israel (hey, that’s a new one), Cieneguilla, Zacatecas Mexico, Parow, South Africa, Bromma Kyrka, Sweden, Rozenburg, Netherlands, Vanves, France and of course, all the lovely people from Seattle, WA. Say hi, mother fuckers!

#2 – I simply can’t wait for THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA movie. It’s my most ‘highly-anticipated’ film of the year.

I’m disappointed at Patricia Field for **NOT** styling Meryl Streep ala Nuclear Wintour with a full-on bob and trademark sunglasses. Meryl looks like Cruella de Ville!!!

042406_meryl

What’s up with the Yoko Ono sunglasses? Yuck!

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Oooooh… look at all that Chanel! It’s interesting how her necklace got gold tones while her handbag’s hardware has silver tones.

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Even Gisele Bundchen has a cameo. Apparently Valentino will join the fun, too. Rumor has it that Anna Wintour will blacklist any fashion designer/model/etc who gets involved in the movie.

042406_gisele_1

Take note of the similarity in their offices.

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042406_office2

Thank god the devils don’t wear Prada here in the third world.

They can’t afford it.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

seasonal_468x60.jpg

#3 – I pulled up my latest stats from sitemeter and I’m shocked to learn that LESS THAN 1% of my readers come from my homeland, the fabulous land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives aka Philippines. It could only mean two things – a) my Filipino readership is diminishing and/or b) my global readership is expanding.

Either way it’s fantastic. I’m becoming the international playgirl superstar I’ve always wanted to be. United Colors of Benetton galore. Ugh! HAHAHAHAHA!

042406_stats

#4 -  OMG I LOOOOVE DIVINE!!! Watch her video, "I’m So Beautiful".

*sings* I’m so beautiful. You’ve gotta believe it I am beautiful. I’m so beautiful. Can’t you see? Look at me! I said I’m so beautiful. Well, everybody’s welcome to this point of view. We’re all beautiful. Can’t you see?

#5 – I have absolutely NO idea where Tahiti is but I’m glad to know that there are gay people coming out from that country and this is what a gay Tahiti person looks like. Seriously, where’s Tahiti anyway? I’m too lazy to search it on google.

042406_tahiti

#6 – Pickett versus Hermès. You decide. I came across Pickett months and months ago and now I read an article by Hillary Alexander on the Daily Telegraph that Queen Elizabeth bags are from Launer, which is available at Pickett.

I went to Pickett’s website, www.pickett.co.uk and found a KELLY look-a-like bag called "Alice". My oh my!

042406_alicepickett

#7 – This is what happens if a fat person starts wearing Nicole Richie’s clothes. Bah. I shouldn’t bitch about J. Lo cause I’m sure I’m just as fat as her.

042406_jlo

#8 – Boys and girls, I’m telling you, it’s time to get those Luxury by Chanel bowling bags. Strike em while they’re hot! The black one is only US$2,160 and they’re available at Chanel boutiques worldwide.

042406_mischa

#9 – Here’s the latest chat session with my Mexican buddy Mauricio who is now in Madrid.

042406_mauricio

BryanBoy says: where’s Cieneguilla, Zacatecas Mexico ???

mauricio says: in zacatecas. haha. near my town

BryanBoy says: lol. ok. is it a nice town or no?

mauricio says: i don’t know

BryanBoy says: k

mauricio says: i just know that zacatecas is near

seasonal_468x60.jpg

BryanBoy says: it sounds oh so exotic HAHAHA

mauricio says: dude, those are nothing towns

BryanBoy says: like middle of nowhere towns???

mauricio says: the cities are monterrey, guadalajara and mexico city

mauricio says: yes

BryanBoy says: k. i like middle of nowhere towns. hot sex with naughty boy next door type of boys

BryanBoy says: ughhhhh orgasm. city boys are usually herpes and hiv-infested

mauricio says: except they’re probably all brown

mauricio says: and aboriginal

BryanBoy says: i don’t mind brown. i’m queen of the jews. i’ve got INRI stamped on my forehead

mauricio says: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

BryanBoy says:  :)

mauricio says: oh my god. i almost took a shit

BryanBoy says: why?

mauricio says: from laughing so hard

#10 – I know I wrote about J.P. ages ago but I came across yet another picture of him a few minutes ago. This time, with La Lohan and Marc.

042406_marclohanpreston

There are soooo many things that’s wrong with in that picture!!

Jealous much, you say? Hell no! Why should I be jealous when I’ve got Uncle Karl?

042406_unclekarl

042406_mj #11 – I LOOOOVE Marc Jacobs’ Cracked Leather Metallic Sneaker. Available online at eLuxury.com. They even have a size 40 and 41! My shoe size!!!

#12 – Oh dear god. I had hardcore spanish lessons earlier, courtesy of Gay Caballeros and my buddy Mauricio.

Who would have thought I’d learn words such as buga, locotrona, fatala, joto, puñal, perra, ramera, suripanta, callejera, mujeres sucias, chilango, regio, mayaton and my favorite word of them all: MAYETE. HAHAHAHAHAH! I looooooooove it.

#13 – Big shout out to Nicole of Saskatoon, Canada.

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#14 – Remember kids, Podcast #004 is out now. I’ll post the tracklist later on the forums. Click here for more information about Podcast #004 and for download instructions.

Cokewhore

#15 – I don’t understand why I’m constantly being hounded by European jailbait. This time it’s a 17 year old Dutch boy. For the life of god, I’m too damn young to be a dirty old man!!!!!!! Someone please rescue me! I need a dirty old man of my own. Please be under 35 though cause I don’t sleep with viagra users.

#16 – if you have a blog, please feel free to link my site. The correct link to use is http://www.bryanboy.com. DO NOT USE http://bryanboy.typepad.com because I’m planning to migrate to a different platform/server sometime this year! I LOOOOVE incoming links so yeah, feel free to link to my blog!

That’s all for now. More updates later. It’s 10:02AM and I’ve been up all night. I need to catch up with my beauty sleep.

I love you all as always. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

[pinit]
11:12 pm

Protected: Saturday Whore, B is for Bestiality

23/04/2006, Current Affairs, Food and Drink, Press Coverage

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

[pinit]
10:32 pm

Podcast #004

21/04/2006, Podcast

Podcast #004

Note: My username at that damned SomethingAwful forums is bryanboy. KID KNEE BEAN YOU BITCH you can go to hell and lick my creampied cunt.

I AM THE EPITOME OF EVERYTHING THAT’S WRONG IN THIS SOCIETY. TO HELL WITH IT, AT LEAST I’M HAVING FUN. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh. My. God.

042106_cokewhore2_1Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the voice messages y’all left me last night. People from Chicago, Cleveland, OH, Connecticut, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Panama City Beach, FL, Salt Lake City, UT, Los Angeles, CA, Washington, DC and Melbourne, Australia… you’re all GORGEOUS! I love each and every one of you.

If you haven’t done so, call my USA Voicemail and leave me a sweet message. Speak loud and clearly, with no background noise of any kind. Tell me your name, where you’re from, whether you love me or not and of course, the B-B-B-B-B word: BABOOSH!

The number to call is +1.206.339.3479.

I’ll post them all on my next podcast.

042106_cokewhore3Speaking of which, Podcast #004 is now available. This podcast, along with all future podcasts, are available by SUBSCRIPTION only. You won’t be able to download them from this website or on iTunes. You’ll need to subscribe (FREE!) to my podcast list in order to download my little labor of audible love. To subscribe, visit the link below.

http://www.bryanboy.com/podcast

If you are a subscriber to "Greetings From The Third World", keep an out on your email account. A memo will arrive with a subject line that says "Podcast #004". In fact, you should have already received it by the time you see this post. If it’s not in your inbox, check your junk email/spam folders, otherwise, you’ll need to resubscribe.

I’d appreciate it if you don’t share the file download links to anyone. Tell them to go to the above link instead. This way, they’ll get all future broadcasts via email as soon as I release em.

I think that’s all for now. I’ll post a proper entry in a couple of hours. I need to use my home tv shopping ab thingie to get rid of my pregnant tummy.

Big shout out to Kristine from Maine. LOVE YOU sweetie!

I love you all as always. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

PPSS. Email me pictures of your love. I’ll let you touch my fanny if you do. Heck, I’ll even allow you and your best buddy tag team me and give me a double anal creampie.

[pinit]
8:22 am

Leave a Message After the Tone…

21/04/2006, Podcast

Leave a Message After the Tone…

Click here to listen to an example.

Anyway, I’m dead tired. It’s 8:20AM and I need to sleep. I’ll post a longer entry when I get up in a couple of hours.

AND PLEASE CALL MY VOICEMAIL LINE NOW! I WANT TO WAKE UP TO A SHITLOAD OF MESSAGES FROM ALL OF YOU.

Just keep your messages short, sweet and less than 30 seconds.

Jailbaits for the mother fucking win!

I’m kidding.

I love you too, munkie bum!

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

[pinit]
3:31 am

Dream of Domestication

20/04/2006, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Fans, Food and Drink, Friendships, Press Coverage

Dream of Domestication

Pay your surgeon very well to break the spell of aging. Celebrity skin is this your chin or is that war you’re waging. First born unicorn, hardcore soft porn… Dream of californication. Dream of californication.

I’m becoming

[pinit]
1:28 am

AZNNNN FUCKIN PRIDE, Fendi’s B-bag, Kimora’s a Keeper, Lucky Jean, Forbidden Fruit, Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

19/04/2006, Bryanboy.com, Fan Art, Fans, Fashion, Fun, Press Coverage

041806_kimsamsoonAZNNNN FUCKIN PRIDE

Oh my god. You are so not gonna believe what I’ve gotten myself into these days.

I am sooooooooooo sorry for the lack of updates recently. My mother made me watch all these Korean DVDs and thanks to her, I’m totally hooked. I just finished watching the entire "My Name is Kim Sam Soon" set… all 9 DVDs of them.

I’m telling you… those Korean DVDs are evil. EVIL EVIL EVIL!

I bet my soul is burning in Seoul as I speak. All these Korea Korean nonsense DVDs are a threat to my fabulousness – I haven’t done anything productive in the past 2 days.

I don’t even know why I liked watching em. I laughed. I cried a little bit. I got pissed off. Heck, I could barely understand the English subtitles yet the damn soap was entertaining.

041806_thik

Someone please rescue me before I develop an intraracial obsession.

I’m seriously thinking of buying a plane ticket to Seoul and get myself a Korean loverboy. Those Korean guys are starting to grow on me. I think they’re lovely. A shitload of them look gay. Take that Hyun Bin guy (one of the lead characters in Kim Sam Soon) for instance. Man, he looks soo gay he’s soo cute.

Look at those nails!!!!! French tips! They’re SOOOOOOO FUCKIN GAYYYYYYYYY!!

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041806_kim2

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041806_hyun

THIS IS INSANE!!!!

I already feel dirty for googling him and search for his pictures.

Why oh why am I doing this? This is completely absurd and preposterous. This AZN obsession has to stop. Next thing you know, I’d be dancing to J-POP (Japanese Pop), wear Hello Kitty outfits and say SUPER KAWAIIIIIIIIIIII.

Besides, I don’t wanna end up with someone who looks like this.

041806_azn

Dirty dirty dirty.

You know what’s even funny? I’ve been having daily chat sessions with one of my long-time Mexican buddies, Mauricio, who is now in Madrid. We’re both having a little asian obsession right now. SOMEONE PLEASE TURN US INTO TAI-TAIS!!!!!!


mauricio: you got to fix me up with one of your rich asian friends

BryanBoy: they’re all straight and married hahahaha

mauricio: fuck dem asians

BryanBoy: exactly. we need aryans sweetie. think of the babies. mixed race babies are the chanel of babies

mauricio: i want asian, it’s easier, they’ll be all ooh and aah with my big eyes and my natural wavy hair, and my big dick cuz these are asian. everything is big to them.

BryanBoy: hahahahahahahahaha

mauricio: i love being un-PC

BryanBoy: look at friggin AZN pride. it’s like incest. it’s hard to penetrate asian society. no wonder everyone looks the same.

mauricio: but i look white. they love the white

BryanBoy: not the yellow ones babe. it’s the brownies who love the white. sucky sucky 5 dolla you love me long time 10 dolla. you gib 20 dolla i gib free tom yum

mauriciom: out of roast duck?

mauricio: dood, these brownies need to get with the program and give me money

Bryanboy: HAHAHAHAHHAHA

mauriciom: i’m so going filipino hunting

BryanBoy: Come to the philippines. They’d LOOOVE you here. Flips love foreigners. you’d be soooo exotic here.

mauricio:  maybe then i can be a tai tai

mauricio: i need a tagalog dictionary if i’m gonna successfully infiltrate filipino society

BryanBoy: hmm. you don’t need a dictionary babe. all you need to do is wave your exotic dick and speak the international language of love.

Enough already!

I don’t wanna be disowned by my own race. Being disowned by your friends and family is bad enough. HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Peace out.

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Fendi’s B-bag

Get your Fendi B bags PRONTO! Just got a medium-sized canvas B-bag with the black patent and it’s gorgeous! I know I look rough and unshaven – I asked my maid Eunice to take these photos at 5:17AM earlier when I chatted to my buddy Mauricio in Madrid.

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Norma Kamali for Everlast black cocoon cardigan, cheapo black tank top from god knows where, jeans by Cheap Monday, Fendi B bag, Dior sunglasses.

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Large patent leather B bags run at US$2,000 while the medium-sized canvas bag with black patent leather buckles is set at US$1,430. Available at eLuxury.com, Neiman Marcus, Bergdorf Goodman and Fendi stores worldwide.

Kimora’s a Keeper

I’d like to say hello and give a big shout out to all the wonderful people from CRUNKTASTICAL (aka CRUNK + DISORDERLY). I love each and every one of you bitches. I’m glad to know that one of the hottest sites for African-American entertainment loves me.

Some of you think that I can give Kimora a run for her millions but in all seriousness, I’m just a little dirty middle class brown gook who lives in the cesspit of a fabulous land in the third world called the Philippines. If you can find me a sugar daddy, preferably with ill-gotten wealth (i.e. firearms business, drug dealing, stolen cars, insurance fraud, etc), no older than 35 with at least 9-figures worth in liquid assets and a 9-inch dick, please feel free to pass them my web address and tell me to contact me as soon as possible.

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I’ve got no words to say. Kimora likes to soak her feet in champagne. That’s outrageous! I know good ol’ Kate Moss filled a tub with bubbly at one point but this is something else. Thanks for giving me a new photo to jack off to. A friend and I loved that ad campaign where she came out of a private jet. Kimora’s a keeper y’all!!

Visit Crunktastical at http://www.crunktastical.blogspot.com.

Lucky Jean

Her name is Jean Godfrey-June and she’s the Beauty Editor of Lucky Magazine.

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Photo credit: New York Times

According to the her interview published at the New York Times, this v.v. Lucky lady gets anywhere between 50-250 product samples daily, along with fabulous items such as Pucci scarves, yoga mats and novelty chocolates. The article also mentioned how beauty editors (at least in the USA, don’t know elsewhere) also get Prada outfits, Cartier watches, free restaurant meals, press lunches at the Four Seasons, cosmetic treatments, exotic trips, free limo rides and trips to La Perla with $1,000 gift certificates etc. that sort of thing.

Click here to read the article.

I have one thing to say: HOLY FUCKING SHIYETTTTTT.

I am soooo fucking jealous.

I think I already wrote on a previous post that I read a British Vogue article about another beauty editor who literally filled her entire house with beauty products to the point where she stored hundred-dollar creams and potions in her kitchen cupboard.

Also, one of my good friends here in Manila told me how her car trunk was constantly filled with beauty products when she held the same position at one point.

Set it in stone bitches. One day I’m gonna have a job exactly like that.

Except I’d get free accessories. Lots and lots and lots and lots of free accessories.

Forbidden Fruit

Am I really the forbidden fruit? What do you think will it take for someone like you to love me?

Sometimes, I feel like I’m a bald, virgin vagina that belongs to an 11 year old named "Tiffany Tara". You know you want to love me but you can’t cause you’ve got yourself on a self-imposed restraining order. It’s forbidden. Very forbidden.

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Danalove

What’s up with all these white people sending tummy pictures? I WANT FACES GOD DAMMIT. Thanks for the love though ;)

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As always, you know where to send imagery of your love. Email bryan@bryanboy.com. 

For the life of god, please be creative. I’ve been begging and begging and begging and begging for you people to go to the nearest fire or police station and get a bunch of macho, muscled men in uniform hold the "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign. HAHAHAHAHA!

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Conegliano, Italy, Eggenhof, Germany, Aalbeek, Netherlands, Mechelen, Begium, Helsinki, Finland, Gatineau, Quebec Canada, Diserd, Sweden, Oxton, UK, ozone Park, NY, Essendon, VIC Australia, Parow, South Africa, East Meadow, NY, Wirksworth, UK, Monrovia, CA, Kiel, Belgium, Solna Sweden, Lisbon, Portugal and of course, all the gorgeous guys and hot chicks from Orlando, FL. I love each and every one of you mother fuckers. Say hi, don’t be shy!

#2 – I love Kim Aviance. You have to watch this video. If Amanda Lepore is the world’s #1 transexual, Kim Aviance is the world’s best drag queen.

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Click here to watch Kim Aviance at Amanda Lepore’s birthday.

My friend Mauricio told me that we should roll like Kim. I told him not with confetti but cold, hard cash or cocaine. Then he said, cocaine bricks and Harry Winston diamonds!!!

Imagine the show eh? I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!!!

#3 – I just checked my stats and I’m quite surprised how only 13% of my readership comes from the Philippines. Prime proof that my laughable presence is still relatively unknown in this country… Either that or more and more people from other countries are reading my blog therefore fucking up my Philippine-related statistics.

Believe it or not, I’d rather be unknown in my homeland so I can still keep this place as a safe haven of some sort. One must be insane for wanting to be a big fish in such a small pond.

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#4 – I need a publicist. For free. Someone who can make me even famous in exchange for sexual favours. Someone like Eliot Mintz, who is Paris Hilton’s publicist, except cuter.

Shit, I can’t even believe I asked one of my friends whether he’s gay or not. My friend hasn’t even heard of him. I searched on google for his picture and found this.

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I guess anyone who looks like a carrot standing next to Yoko Ono is gay. My friend told me he looks antique. HAHAHAHAH. I replied back telling him Eliot kinda looks like vintage Louis Vuitton steamer trunks pre-monogram era. Whatever, right? He’s still one of Hollywood’s most powerful publicists.

#5 – Speaking of Louis Vuitton, it’s been ages since I visited their website. I went there the other day and boy I had goosebumps watching (and listening to) the flash file intro. You have to see AND listen to it for yourself. Click here.

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#6 – Man, Marc Jacobs is lookin really old these days. Marc having lunch with La Lohan.

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#7 – Does anyone know who made the skinny jeans Nicole is wearing? I want them…

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#8 – Keep an eye out on Gram shoes/sneakers. Gram is one of Sweden’s newest design exports. I really, really, really love those Swedes.

They even named their shoes based on the weight of the shoe themselves. Personally I like the high-cut sneaker in white denim.

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www.gramdesign.se

#9 – Have you ever been harassed on the street? You have to check out this blog. It’s soooo hilarious. Women all over the place take pictures of their harassers and post them online. 

http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com

Harassment is wrong, evil and dirty. But in all seriousness, if my harasser is cute, hot, rich and well-hung, I’d open my ass wide and give it to him with no restraint whatsoever.

I’m gonna stop myself from making comments about sexual harassment. I don’t wanna open a can-full of worms because at the end of the day, I’m still a perverted faggot.

I think that’s all for now. I REALLY have to work on my podcast and reply to all my emails.

I love each and every one of you. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

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Protected: Black Saturday My Fucking Ass

16/04/2006, Current Affairs, Fans, Food and Drink, Manila, Press Coverage

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Protected: Art Attack!, Greetings From The Third World, Donatella Versace in Da House, Random Cheesemax

13/04/2006, Art, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Fashion, Fun, Press Coverage, Random Cheesemax, Shilebrities

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