- Fashion Blogger
3:35 pm


01/05/2006, Film

1156josh3xWicker Park

You know, I was soo pissed at my sister earlier. I didn’t get to go to Starbucks afterall. I was gonna sleep but I ended up watching Wicker Park (Josh Hartnett, Diane Kruger) on DVD instead.

And boy I cried a shitload.

I’m gonna sleep now. I didn’t wanna wait till I get up later to post this entry.

Please pray to god almighty that I dream about Josh Hartnett later.

I want him to rape me in my dreams like he’s never raped anyone before.

I need sleep god dammit!

OOOOOOOO and I want his babies too.

I’ll update later.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

12:45 pm

Someone just please teach me how to commit suicide. Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

01/05/2006, Uncategorized




Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

1. Bryanboy loves people from Shanghai, China, Slacks Creek, QLD Australia, Paterson, NJ, the country of Singapore, Suita, Osaka Japan, Sekudai, Johor Malaysia, Buenos Aires, Argentina, Federal, Entre Rios Argentina, Huntsville, AL, Guildford, UK, Madrid, Spain, Dublin, Ireland, Corvallis, OR, Mahwah, NJ, Adelaide, Australia, Revere, MA and of course, all the super kawaii people of Tokyo, Japan. I love each and every one of you mother fuckers. Say hi, don’t be shy. You know you wanna get my pregnant.

2. Is there anyone out there who wants to commit suicide? I need a suicide partner.

I hate this whole Labor Day Holiday bullshit. My maid, Eunice, embarked on a month-long vacation and won’t come back till late May. My driver, who I’ve had for the past 5 months, took the day off to spend time with his family. Believe it or not, I can’t, for the life of god, remember his name. I call him "Manong", which is a Filipino word for "respected elderly man".

And then there’s my evil bitch troll of a sister, who promised me she’ll drive me to Starbucks 4 HOURS AGO because I’m having this weird iced cafe latte craving. I wanted to take that opportunity so I can pose for the camera and have pictures of me taken… but no, her shitty boyfriend went here for lunch so now he’s her main priority.

That guy makes me feel weird. He goes here ALL the time… for hours… sometimes to sleep over.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against him. He’s a nice young lad and he takes good care of the evil bitch troll sister.

You see, I roam around the house with nothing but boxers on. Ever since I was a child, I walk around the halls of my humble abode, half-naked. I wore nothing but tight, white, y-front briefs when I was a child and before I had my menstruation. When my tight, cherry got popped for the first time (hello incontinence), things changed so I had to switched to boxers.

Isn’t it kinda stupid? To feel RESTRICTED in YOUR OWN house?

I don’t feel good when there’s a stranger out there who can see me in my underwear. I have no choice but to lock myself in my room and pray that god take him, or anyone for that matter such as an unwanted visitor, away.

So here I am, sleepless at 1PM, with no personal maid, no driver, no sister to act as a driver AND maid.

Fucking assholes. All of them are fucking useless assholes.

I was gonna borrow my mom’s maid, Margie, but there’s no one to drive me to Starbucks.

You know, I really feel shit.

So this is what it feels like not to have anyone when you need them most.





#3 – I think I know who to blame on today’s misfortune.

It’s those psychopath religious fanatics who have been emailing and texting me in the past couple of days giving me flak because I replaced Mama Mary’s face with mine on this illustration.

Look assholes, save your religious sermon for someone else.

I’ll update in a bit cause my evil bitch troll sister told me she’s gonna drive me to Starbucks.




PS. Discuss this blog post here.

1:03 pm

Podcast #005 – PARIS

30/04/2006, Podcast

Podcast #005 – PARIS


Ah Paris… the international headquarters and the motherland of all things fabulous.

Everything here is just utterly, utterly gorgeous. I can roam around town and never get bored or run out of things to see. The breathtaking architechture, the fantastic attention to detail, all the museums, shops, cafes, restaurants, people… everything!


Today’s podcast is dedicated to my love for the most magical, enchanting and seductive city in the world. There is NO other city in the world that exudes beauty and drama like Paris does. Beautiful place, beautiful people, beautiful things, beauty beauty beauty!

043006_parisThe tracks on my latest podcast gives me flashbacks of all the memories I had the last time I went to Paris (mid-December 2005).

For instance, the song "Summer in Paris" made the dreaded ride from Charles de Gaulle airport to my hotel at 16th arrondisement bearable.

And then there’s the time when I had "Naturally" playing on my ipod as I sashayed down Saint-German-de-Prés on a clear, winter afternoon after paying visit to Café de Flore.

I also put on my best John Galliano outfit (and high-voltage attitude to match) when I powerminced like Mariacarla Boscono (on a Cavalli show) around Le Marais while listening to "What Else Is There" (Royksopp). It’s soo gratifying deep down inside to put that arrogant "I’m a rich bitch, get out of my way you fucking minimum wager… take one good look at me because this is how you should do it" walk. I’d get murdered right on the spot if I do that here in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.

Yaddi yaddi yadda.

Out of all the podcasts I did, I think this is the best one so far. I wish I knew how to speak the lingua franca of pretentious people worlwide fluently but alas, my French is limited to putain de salope, pede et morue. I know I’m gonna get shot sooner or later by a Frenchman for bastardizing their language.

Nevertheless, as compensation for raping your ears, I went ahead and sang a song to the tune of "Joe Le Taxi" by Vanessa Paradis. It’s the only French song I got memorised, thanks to John Galliano for using it on one of his shows.


Click the link below to download my latest podcast. You’ll be redirected to my Podcast Mailing List subscription page where you’ll need to enter your name and your email address. This, along with all future podcasts shall be delivered to your email account.

You don’t need to do anything if you are currently subscribed to my list. You should have already received the podcast download links via email.

Lookie lookie at what I found earlier. Even French Boys send in their best rendition of the original and infamous Bryanboy pose. I LOOVE it.


Isn’t it fantastique??? One of them even got my Great Wall of China in November ensemble last year… shorts, tights, high-cut shoes. I like his touch though… he wore Burberry (eeek!!! chavs) as a scarf and Converse whereas I wore Lagerfeld Gallery by Karl Lagerfeld fox fur stole and Yves Saint Laurent shoes.




The tables have changed and it’s the French copying underaged, Asian sexshop, I mean, sweatshop workers like myself. HAHAHAHA!!!

I’ll keep this entry short and sweet. I’m knackered to the bone, it’s 12:50PM and I need to sleep. You know how to get a hold of me. Email or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all!


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

PPSS. Keep an eye out on my blog entry later tonight when I wake up. It’s gonna be FUN, FUN, FUN, I promise you. Baboosh!

PPPSSS. Tell me what you think of PODCAST #005! Post a comment on my site or email me.

12:49 pm

Shameless Self-Promotion: Pimp my fat ass and win a necklace from Dolce & Gabbana

28/04/2006, Press Coverage

042806_ourladyofmaterialismShameless Self-Promotion

Allow me to indulge in a moment of shameless self-promotion.

Generally-speaking, I don’t give a fuck on what people think of me or say about me. I won’t deny that I’m a proud attention whore and a good one at that. I like jacking off every time someone says something where I’m involved. It doesn’t matter whether it’s positive or negative. There’s something pleasurable (and self-satisfying) every time I find my name on an internet site or forum or whenever I hear from my moles and minions that people are talking behind my back.

I always tell myself, "wow, people are really making the effort in vocalizing their thoughts and opinions." It’s wonderful being able to ellicit some sort of a reaction.


I searched my name on google earlier this morning and the world’s #1 search engine came up with 83,800 results. "Kate Moss" came up with 4,300,000 results while "Paris Hilton" got 44,100,000. That’s right mother fuckers, fourty four MILLION one hundred thousand results.


I know it’s absolutely wrong for me to compare myself to these 2 women considering I’m a certified nobody but come on, I know I can do better than 83,800.

You see, it just occured to me that I should no longer deny the fact that my true purpose in life is world domination through my faggotry.


One day when I become the United Nations Secretary General, get really really really famous and super duper filthy rich, I want to be able to bitch at all the people who made my life miserable (including the ones who constantly pulled me down and didn’t believe in me) and say "say hi mother fuckers, don’t cry for me Argentina eva-peron style", followed by a wink and an airkiss that Marilyn Monroe would be proud of.

Now, none of this is gonna happen WITHOUT YOUR HELP.

From New York City and Adelaide, Australia, to New Zealand and Hoofddorp, Noord-Holland in the Netherlands, people, teenagers and teenagers at heart (oh dear god hahaha) all over the world are reading my blog… including people from my hometown, Las Islas Filipinas aka land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives. I’ve got each and everyone of you, fabulous, fantastic and lovable maggots, dancing on the palm of my hand.






According to Female First, Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of American Vogue said she has 3 commandments to maintain the standard of her magazine.

#1 – aim high. very high
#2 – have fun and last. but not the least…
#3 – keep your finger on the pulse and KEEP YOUR INFLUENCE BY EXERCISING IT.

Well, I want to put my influence to the test.

I want to see whether I’m larger than life or not.

I want you, yes, you, to feed my ego.

All this talk on various internet sites on how I’m a "blog celebrity" or how I’m "famous" makes me wonder if I’m really famous. I really should stop pretending I’ve got a tiny bone of humility inside me. HAHAHAHAHA!






I think it’s best for me to cut to the chase and save all this incessant crap about fame for a later time.

I’m not happy I only got 83,800 results on google.

Why should I settle for 83,800 when I can shoot for 500,000???

With the help of corruption and bribery, of course, just the way we LOVE it in the ultra fabulous third world, I am hereby proud to present you…


You read that right.

I want you to pimp my fat ass on the internet.


It’s quite simple, really.

The person who spread the word about my blog on the most number of websites will win a fabulous DOLCE & GABBANA (NOT D&G… there’s a big difference, maggots. hahaha) dog tag necklace with the word "SEX" in swarovski crystals.

Don’t ask me how much it costs. The only thing that I can tell you is Dolce & Gabbana ain’t cheap, so there. =)

I usually give sexual favours but given the distance


from my brothel to where you live, I figured this is

the next best thing to my infamous $5 blowjobs.


As a bonus, I’ll throw in an old copy of one of my favourite reads EVAR, the ultimate nouveaux riche and social climbers’ "feel good" book entitled, "THE RIGHT ADDRESS" by Carrie Karasyov and Jill Kargman.

All you need to do is bombard every internet website, online forum, blog, chat room, online networking sites (MySpace, Friendster, etc) whatever about my gospel and my faggotry and email me the links where I can read about what you or whatever the site owner said.

The person who emails me the most number of links AND bring the most traffic to my site wins!

I’ll run this contest from now until May 15, 2006. Just email me all the links where you (or your minions) mentioned me. Don’t send me your name or your mailing address. I only need that information once I pick the winner.

FYI: I have this amazing website stats program that can track where people are coming from so you can’t really cheat. LOL


If you have any questions, email

I’ll be watching you all very closely.

I bet some bloggers out there will copy my self-promotion antics.

There are sites out there who already copied my "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign pics and INFAMOUS BRYANBOY POSE etc…. I wouldn’t be surprised if I get copied again this time.

Well, it happens to only the best, right?

Spread the love bitches and always remember…

Oooooooo the sheer thought of knowing that you’re all watching me VERY CLOSELY too is making me moist with delight. I bet I’m driving you insane already.


I love you all as always. Email or SMS + HÖRA ETT EXEMPEL PÅ ETT MEDDELANDE
(ignorera musiken i bakgrunden)

Du kan också ställa vilken fråga du vill. På ENGELSKSKA, såklart. Jag kommer publicera ditt meddelande på min nästa podcast.

RING NU SLYNOR! ALLA NI SMUTSIGA SVENSKA SLYNOR, HOROR OCH BÖGAR! jag vill höra din röst, det borde inte ta mer än 1 minut. Hahahaha!

Jag älskar er som alltid.


9:46 am

Mariah sang a song for me, Can’t Say No to Nokia,

27/04/2006, Current Affairs, Shilebrities

042706_hatMariah sang a song for me

Oh. my. fucking. god.

You people have got to listen to this voicemail I got a few days ago. Mariah called in and sang a song especially for me. I was gonna put it on a new podcast but I’m too friggin lazy and I can’t be bothered.

Click here to download the voice message.

I’m not really a Mariah fan but after listening to that voiceclip, I realized damn, I should love her too!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You, too, can call in my voicemail line and leave me messages. In fact, you can even call in and ask me questions. I’ll answer them on my next podcast.

Pick up the phone and dial +1.206.339.3479.

That number is located in Seattle, USA. If you’re calling from outside the USA/Canada, you’ll need to add your international dialling code before calling this number. Don’t forget to say your name, where you’re calling from, whether you love me or not and of course, you gotta say the magic word BABOOSH!.


Hat by Chanel, short-sleeve cropped hoodie by Norma Kamali for Everlast, oversized tank top by Karoo (Mark Eisen), jeans from Cheap Monday (Sweden), B-Bag from Fendi and boots from Dior Homme.

Can’t Say No to Nokia

The fabulous folks at Nokia recently invited me to join one of their campaigns for their phones. They’re going to launch the new NOKIA 3250, a phone that allows you to listen to play tracks, listen to music, take photos with the 2-megapixel camera etc. It’s a lovely phone. I got mine in… PINK!!!


The shoot went well. I got there in time. I thought I was gonna be late but the traffic wasn’t as bad as I thought. It took no more than 25 minutes from my house to the big city… on a rush hour!

I guess I’m an easy subject. Hahahaha! ‘styling’ me was effortless. HAHA! I hope so. In fact, all I had to do was bring my own clothes and accessories. Make-up didn’t take more than 5-10 minutes. It was piss easy.


Eunice is such a pig. I gave her my leftover pizza and the bitch smothered pizza oil on my camera hence the blurry pictures. Argh!!

There’s absolutely NO excuse for my bovine-sized love handles.


BTW, that’s Karla, fab stylist galore… she’s also the Fashion Editor of Philippine Tatler magazine.

I also met Lourd of Emphasis salon. He’s my nonsexual wife anorexic daughter Hannah’s stylist. He’s the guy who did my makeup. I need a tan pronto!!! Standing next to him makes me feel caucasian. I’m soooo pale I hate it!!!


I guess y’all have to wait until the campaign goes out on the papers to see the end result. I’m SOOO excited! I feel like a model. Hahahha! YUCK. My faggotry is finally paying off!!!

I can’t wait to have my own billboard one day!!!

HAHAHAH! :) You all know how I’ve always fantasized about having my own billboard. Someone just please fulfill my dream pronto. I’m not getting any younger these days.

Ok.. well.. it’s either a billboard or a crocodile birkin bag.


After the shoot, I went to the cash machine to take out cash. It’s been ages since I last went to McDonald’s and I had a weird chicken craving, thanks to my Mexican buddy Mauricio. I know I LOOOVEEEEE Jollibee Chickenjoy but I can’t, for the life of god, find a Jollibee drive through at the place I went.

Did you know that my motherland, the Philippines (aka land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives), is probably THE only place in the world where McDonald’s sell fried chicken?


Oh dear. My bum looks big on this photo. Hello J.Lo!


Work it like you own it.


Mmmmm yummmy!!! I loooove McDonald’s fries. Take note how nobody wanted to fall in line behind me. I guess that’s how scary I am.


My favourite New York Queen Bee socialite once said that being on a wheelchair at the airport is like flying FIRST CLASS +++ PLUS. You automatically get in front of the line!

Screw the wheelchair. I’d rather be a fag! I LOOOOOOVE being a fag cause I get to have all this space around me. Let’s face it, it really is fun when nobody wants to go near your initimidating flaming ass for the fear of catching the homosexuality bug.

Even Nicky Hilton and our Fendi B-Bag will agree with me.


This just in… courtesy of Perez Hilton.

It’s official. Kate really sobered up her act and stayed away from cocaine. Oh no!!!!!!! She looks like a fat woman!!!!!! I hate it!!!!! What did this woman do to the legendary Kate Moss?


I guess this whole sobering up/weight gain/domestication thing is VERY trendy these days. All the fabulous people in the world are domesticating themselves and fattening up.


Yes, I know, I know. I haven’t paid ANY attention to my baby in the past few months. Please don’t be mad at me. I decided I’m gonna resurrect that site and update it with your submissions.


PLEASE send me a picture of what’s inside your handbag. Email Give me a couple of hours and I’ll start with the first set of updates.

I’d truly appreciate it if you spread the word about that site to everyone that you know.

I **PROMISE** I’m gonna do everything that I can to update that website often.

I know I fucking look like a stroke victim on this photo. One of my eyes look weird but what the hell. All I can say at this point is…..



More updates later. I promise.

Enough faggotry for now. You know how I close my blog entries, right?

I love you all. Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

6:50 am

I’m getting bored…

26/04/2006,, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Fans, Press Coverage, Scandinavia, Social Awareness

I’m getting bored…

First things first… I’d like to give a big shout out to readers of Elle Girl magazine in the Netherlands. Thanks for loving and talking about me.



Ok. My Dutch is all wrong and that’s what I get from using one of those online translator things. Hopefully y’all get the jist out of it. HAHAHAHA!

Moving on…

I finally managed to get my lazy fat ass to my dermatologists yesterday afternoon. There’s a photo shoot I need to go to and I have to look pretty.

First stop: Coffee Bean

THANK god the whipped cream-serving bulldyke of a midget wasn’t there. I don’t want anyone to be spitting on my drink (unless they’re cute, hot and rich… but then again, no cute, hot and rich person will work as a barista) after whingeing on my blog.

Just to be safe, I EXPLICITLY told the lovely lady behind the counter that I DO NOT WANT WHIPPED CREAM on my drink… my wish is her command.


Cardigan by LAROK, white tank top by Calvin Klein, brown/rust-colored jeans from Acne Jeans (Sweden), boots from Fruit, bag from Hermès, amber and gold necklace from Kenneth Jay Lane, sunglasses from Dior

Boy I got a surprise for all of you.

You see, I often get asked as to who takes my photos. In addition to my familia de horreur members and friends, well, let me unveil one of them. Meet my maid, Eunice.


Eunice has been my maid for quite some time and she’s the best, best, best friend a faggot like me can ever have. She’s got everything about me memorised. She knows some of my deepest, darkest secrets. She’s been with me through obesity and thin and up to this day, I’ve never heard a single word (.. or grunt) from her in spite of everything that she’s done for me, like cleaning up all my puke on the bathroom floor after a good night out… or  my soiled, skid mark-infested underwear.

My nonsexual wife anorexic daughter Hannah would complain about her "hunchback" maid, Simang, every once in a while.

HOY HANNAH, at least your maid ain’t a lesbian!!!

Today’s obligatory paparazzi shot.042506_paparazzi

I have a feeling my maid Eunice might be a lesbo. I’ve never seen her show any kind of perverted emotion towards guys.

OK… WAITTTTT.. she thinks that Piolo (spelling?) Pascual Filipino actor guy is cute.


She won’t believe me when I told her that he’s gay like a row of pink camping tents.

Oh well.


So yeah, I had my usual glycopeel cleaning/extraction facial.

For the first time in ages, I didn’t feel any pain today. God knows why. I usually have low tolerance for pain, expecially while having a facial done. I know I scream like a pregnant prostitute bitch in labor every time my aesthetician extracts a white head from one of my blocked pore.

Today’s lack of pain made me think about things I don’t usually think about on a day-to-day basis.

For instance, sometime last week, I told a friend on how I’m starting to get bored. I expressed my desire to experience something new, like, learn a new skill or take up cooking classes.

She suggested that we learn a foreign language together… take up French at one of those Alliance Francaise centers. I told her sure, why not. We even checked the availability online and the session that we want won’t start until October. There’s a 3rd and 4th session but we’re both planning to travel around June/July/August.

While the lady pricked my face, I realized I’m at that stage where everything is just stagnant. I’m turning into a stale, 20-something.

I mean, I know I’ve changed tremendously in the past 12 months. However, if I look at it on a different perspective, it feels as if I’m not going anywhere. My life’s at a standstill and I’m doing the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

I told my friend this and she thinks "I’ve gone so far and achieved so much already".

042606_facial1I remember the old times when I used to deny myself from owning to what I’ve achieved in order to delude myself into thinking I have a tiny bone of humility inside me.

But I still can’t can’t help but ask myself the $64 million question.


Let’s face it, I won’t deny that all I do is shop, shop, shop, work, work, work, shop, shop, shop, spread my faggotry to the world, shop, work, eat, eat, eat, spread my faggotry to the world, shop, shop, spread my faggotry to the world.

It’s gotten to the point where it’s like a routine.

Shit, it’s MY routine.

Everything used to be fun. Every time I get a material ‘acquisition’…a  bag, a jacket, everything… it brings a genuine smile to my face and I feel soo… contented. I know I once said that being severely materialistic makes up for my lack of non-material things in life. But in all honesty, I don’t take my sense of materialism too seriously. Afterall, it’s only material stuff!

Enough ranting. I already sound like a broken record.

I think it might be therapeutic if I list what I want to happen SOON.

  • have a clear sense of direction on where I’m heading
  • experience something NEW and FUN!
  • learn something NEW… a new skill, a new hobby, whatever

(Would you believe I even went as far as researching VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES in countries like ECUADOR and ROMANIA? I don’t know what came over me considering there’s over 80 million people who need help in my own backyard. My familia de horreur had always told me to stay away from hallucinogenic drugs and the people who take them.)


Before you go on a high horse and bombard me with your PREDICTABLE sanctimonious crap, I’m begging you to please avoid telling me to

  • just be "myself" (and)
  • donate to charity.

An escape from reality is what I need. Away from the blog, the Chanel, the Fendi, the Goyard, the shopping, the facials, the cellphone, the internet, the familia de horreur and of course, the sheer thought at the back of my mind that I’m surrounded by vultures who are constantly looking for that perfect opportunity to devour me alive.

I need a holiday. A 1 or 2 month-long vacation. Somewhere extremely remote and far-flung but close to civilization. Somewhere where nobody knows me and I know nobody.

Somewhere like Skåne, Sweden.

I want to be surrounded by nature. I want to pick fresh flowers, see trees, ride a huge horse. I want to buy a lot of art materials and learn how to paint scenery etc., that sort of thing. I also want to get gangbanged by well-hung farmboys and have hot and horny mixed-race baby-making sex on top of a tractor.

Remember Jakob, the Swedish guy I met up with in Copenhagen> He’s the only person in the world who managed to made me walk (and you KNOW I despise walking) for like 2-3 hours just to find that bloody Little Mermaid Statue?


Well, he offered to take me to his summer house in Varberg middle of nowhere bumfuck Sweden.

If I take him up on his offer that beats the purpose of me travelling somewhere where "no one knows me and I know nobody".

Hmmm pakipot ka pa alam mo naman kung saan matutuloy yan.

I wanna go to Skåne god dammit.

Oh I’m just soooo bored with life right now. All I need is change. That’s all.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

PPSS. The only thing that making life worth living is your love. And John Galliano.

Bryanboy loves Erick from Vandenberg AFB (Air Force Base?) California. Erick sweetie you do know that one of goals in life is to get gangbanged by the military/navy/army/men in black etc, right? PLEASE GET SOME OF YOUR AIR FORCE BUDDIES TO STRIP NAKED AND HOLD AN I LOVE BRYANBOY SIGN FOR ME.


Screw the don’t ask don’t tell policy. If I get gangbanged by men in uniform, I want MAXIMUM MILEAGE, MAXIMUM PUBLICITY. I want to make a shitload of MONEY and sell videos of it.

Failing that, the Bryanboy pose picture will do just fine. :)


You really love me do you now? Can I ride your aeroplane? It’s my aeroplannnneeee…


Alex from Tasmania, Australia. Big kisses from me to you. I love ya lots darling even if you sent me a damn photochopped photo. I SAID NO PHOTOSHOPPED ONES… HAHAHA ;)


This set of photos is better than PORN!!! I jacked off 10 times and my balls are the size of raisins. Courtesy of Clair from Perth, Australia.

(This is what I call TRUE LOVE)





I’m gonna go to sleep now. I have a photo shoot later today.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

7:49 am

“Everybody wants to be us.”

25/04/2006,, Fan Art, Fans, Fashion, Film, Press Coverage, Random Cheesemax

"Everybody wants to be us."

Lookie lookie at what I found on the internet earlier. It’s a trailer of The Devil Wears Prada.

So far so good. I like the movie already!!! My favourite line? EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE US.

Hahahahah! Classic. I LOOOOOVE IT.

I suddenly had this huge burst of mental images in my head!

MySpace faggots hear ye hear ye. That "Everybody wants to be us" line is going to be MY line of the year!

I can totally picture myself as a nasty, catty, bitchy, self-centered, delusional, egotistical, so-full-of-me-me-me-and-no-one-but-me Mean Girls (Regina George) queen bee-type of person saying that line (over and over and over) to my latest fledgling minions.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I can’t wait to see this movie.

Screw Anna Wintour. I know I love her dearly but I like Carine Roitfeld (Vogue Paris Editor-in-Chief) more. Carine is amazing.

She’s extremely edgy and chic, she has impeccable taste, she’s got a fuck all fuck you attitude on things and she seems lively and fun.



BryanBoy: i really wanna see carine roitfeld and anna wintour go into a fight and then carine take over american vogue

mauricio: they won’t, they love each other

BryanBoy: they do???

mauricio: haha no. they can’t stand the sight of each other. that’s why they’re never in pictures together

Oooooh I want to be just like her when i get older.

She’s got 2 children, Julia and Vladimir Restoin. I like Julia.


I think she’s pretty… and she used to date Starving Nachos. The Vladimir guy looks like a vampire. Too gothic-looking. Maybe it’s the poor quality of the scan. He sorta looks like Olivier Theyskens in this photo.

My favourite Carine quote: "Black? ‘It’s finished.’ Leather? ‘No good as you get older.’ Jewellery? ‘I hate watches. I never wear these things.’ Thongs? ‘Before I love strings. Now I hate strings.’ Handbags? ‘You can wear a completely transparent shirt and show all the breasts – I don’t care. But I prefer to have my hands in my pocket than to have a nice little bag. So I am not good for all these fashions. They have to sell bags, bags, bags, bags, bags, bags. I hate handbags.’"

Click here to read the full article from the Daily Telegraph.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – I’ll keep this entry short and sweet. It’s 7:10AM and I’m knackered to the bone. I’m gonna sleep in a bit cause I have to wake up early in the afternoon… I’m gonna go to my aestheticians and get myself pampered.

#2 – Bryanboy loves people from Gibraltar, Irvine, CA, Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada, Svartskog, Norway, Seould, Korea,  Atlanta, GA, Perth, Australia, Tampere, Finland (where the hell is this???), Dublin, Ireland, Orrius, Cataluna Spain, Kaarina, Finland, Pico Rivera, CA, Durham, NC, Tulsa, OK, Pasadena, CA, Nueva York, Chiapas, Mexico, Juprelle, Belgium and of course, all the fabulous people from Kingston, Jamaica. I love each and every one of you. Say hi faggots, don’t be shy!

#3 – It’s been quite awhile since I posted your renditions of the infamous Bryanboy pose. I’m gonna create a photo album with all your images sometime this week. Just give me time.

By the meantime, take a look at these photos. You’re all adorable and I love the photos!!!

Kate from Illinois

Francis from the Philippines

Hannah and Judy


Someone who wants to remain anonymous…

…and of course, Tatiana from France.

Send me more photos assholes! Be creative! Have fun! Be spontaneous! I want pictures of you doing the ‘pose’ or you holding an I LOVE BRYANBOY sign. You know where to send them. Email

# 4 – Speaking of Stavros, oh my god. He looks really rough and dirty. Eeek!!


#5  – Lookie lookie on who stole my Fendi spy! Isn’t it great how she lost weight? The face is still flat out fat though. As soon as she sorts out that chin she’ll forever remain OBESE in my books.


I loooove the image change. Give yourself a good pat on the back sweetie!

#6 – Tora B from Los Angeles emailed me a photo of that Bobby Trendy character. I have NO words. HAHAHAHAHA! Take a look at his skin… and the clothes. My oh my!

So this is what "FAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS" looks like. Oh dear.


#7 – Ooooo. Look at what I got via email!! Isn’t it loverly?


I think that’s all for now. I’ll update later in the afternoon.

I love you all as always. Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

10:08 am

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax: “I’M QUEEN OF THE JEWS”

24/04/2006, Random Cheesemax

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Eschborn, Germany, Foss, OK, marseille, France, Wiesbaden, Germany, Bellville, South Africa, Santa Maria di Sala, Veneto Italy, Kristiansand, Norway, Tel Aviv, Israel (hey, that’s a new one), Cieneguilla, Zacatecas Mexico, Parow, South Africa, Bromma Kyrka, Sweden, Rozenburg, Netherlands, Vanves, France and of course, all the lovely people from Seattle, WA. Say hi, mother fuckers!

#2 – I simply can’t wait for THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA movie. It’s my most ‘highly-anticipated’ film of the year.

I’m disappointed at Patricia Field for **NOT** styling Meryl Streep ala Nuclear Wintour with a full-on bob and trademark sunglasses. Meryl looks like Cruella de Ville!!!


What’s up with the Yoko Ono sunglasses? Yuck!


Oooooh… look at all that Chanel! It’s interesting how her necklace got gold tones while her handbag’s hardware has silver tones.


Even Gisele Bundchen has a cameo. Apparently Valentino will join the fun, too. Rumor has it that Anna Wintour will blacklist any fashion designer/model/etc who gets involved in the movie.


Take note of the similarity in their offices.



Thank god the devils don’t wear Prada here in the third world.

They can’t afford it.



#3 – I pulled up my latest stats from sitemeter and I’m shocked to learn that LESS THAN 1% of my readers come from my homeland, the fabulous land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives aka Philippines. It could only mean two things – a) my Filipino readership is diminishing and/or b) my global readership is expanding.

Either way it’s fantastic. I’m becoming the international playgirl superstar I’ve always wanted to be. United Colors of Benetton galore. Ugh! HAHAHAHAHA!


#4 -  OMG I LOOOOVE DIVINE!!! Watch her video, "I’m So Beautiful".

*sings* I’m so beautiful. You’ve gotta believe it I am beautiful. I’m so beautiful. Can’t you see? Look at me! I said I’m so beautiful. Well, everybody’s welcome to this point of view. We’re all beautiful. Can’t you see?

#5 – I have absolutely NO idea where Tahiti is but I’m glad to know that there are gay people coming out from that country and this is what a gay Tahiti person looks like. Seriously, where’s Tahiti anyway? I’m too lazy to search it on google.


#6 – Pickett versus Hermès. You decide. I came across Pickett months and months ago and now I read an article by Hillary Alexander on the Daily Telegraph that Queen Elizabeth bags are from Launer, which is available at Pickett.

I went to Pickett’s website, and found a KELLY look-a-like bag called "Alice". My oh my!


#7 – This is what happens if a fat person starts wearing Nicole Richie’s clothes. Bah. I shouldn’t bitch about J. Lo cause I’m sure I’m just as fat as her.


#8 – Boys and girls, I’m telling you, it’s time to get those Luxury by Chanel bowling bags. Strike em while they’re hot! The black one is only US$2,160 and they’re available at Chanel boutiques worldwide.


#9 – Here’s the latest chat session with my Mexican buddy Mauricio who is now in Madrid.


BryanBoy says: where’s Cieneguilla, Zacatecas Mexico ???

mauricio says: in zacatecas. haha. near my town

BryanBoy says: lol. ok. is it a nice town or no?

mauricio says: i don’t know

BryanBoy says: k

mauricio says: i just know that zacatecas is near


BryanBoy says: it sounds oh so exotic HAHAHA

mauricio says: dude, those are nothing towns

BryanBoy says: like middle of nowhere towns???

mauricio says: the cities are monterrey, guadalajara and mexico city

mauricio says: yes

BryanBoy says: k. i like middle of nowhere towns. hot sex with naughty boy next door type of boys

BryanBoy says: ughhhhh orgasm. city boys are usually herpes and hiv-infested

mauricio says: except they’re probably all brown

mauricio says: and aboriginal

BryanBoy says: i don’t mind brown. i’m queen of the jews. i’ve got INRI stamped on my forehead

mauricio says: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

BryanBoy says:  :)

mauricio says: oh my god. i almost took a shit

BryanBoy says: why?

mauricio says: from laughing so hard

#10 – I know I wrote about J.P. ages ago but I came across yet another picture of him a few minutes ago. This time, with La Lohan and Marc.


There are soooo many things that’s wrong with in that picture!!

Jealous much, you say? Hell no! Why should I be jealous when I’ve got Uncle Karl?


042406_mj #11 – I LOOOOVE Marc Jacobs’ Cracked Leather Metallic Sneaker. Available online at They even have a size 40 and 41! My shoe size!!!

#12 – Oh dear god. I had hardcore spanish lessons earlier, courtesy of Gay Caballeros and my buddy Mauricio.

Who would have thought I’d learn words such as buga, locotrona, fatala, joto, puñal, perra, ramera, suripanta, callejera, mujeres sucias, chilango, regio, mayaton and my favorite word of them all: MAYETE. HAHAHAHAHAH! I looooooooove it.

#13 – Big shout out to Nicole of Saskatoon, Canada.


#14 – Remember kids, Podcast #004 is out now. I’ll post the tracklist later on the forums. Click here for more information about Podcast #004 and for download instructions.


#15 – I don’t understand why I’m constantly being hounded by European jailbait. This time it’s a 17 year old Dutch boy. For the life of god, I’m too damn young to be a dirty old man!!!!!!! Someone please rescue me! I need a dirty old man of my own. Please be under 35 though cause I don’t sleep with viagra users.

#16 – if you have a blog, please feel free to link my site. The correct link to use is DO NOT USE because I’m planning to migrate to a different platform/server sometime this year! I LOOOOVE incoming links so yeah, feel free to link to my blog!

That’s all for now. More updates later. It’s 10:02AM and I’ve been up all night. I need to catch up with my beauty sleep.

I love you all as always. Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

11:12 pm

Protected: Saturday Whore, B is for Bestiality

23/04/2006, Current Affairs, Food and Drink, Press Coverage

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10:32 pm

Podcast #004

21/04/2006, Podcast

Podcast #004

Note: My username at that damned SomethingAwful forums is bryanboy. KID KNEE BEAN YOU BITCH you can go to hell and lick my creampied cunt.


Oh. My. God.

042106_cokewhore2_1Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the voice messages y’all left me last night. People from Chicago, Cleveland, OH, Connecticut, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Panama City Beach, FL, Salt Lake City, UT, Los Angeles, CA, Washington, DC and Melbourne, Australia… you’re all GORGEOUS! I love each and every one of you.

If you haven’t done so, call my USA Voicemail and leave me a sweet message. Speak loud and clearly, with no background noise of any kind. Tell me your name, where you’re from, whether you love me or not and of course, the B-B-B-B-B word: BABOOSH!

The number to call is +1.206.339.3479.

I’ll post them all on my next podcast.

042106_cokewhore3Speaking of which, Podcast #004 is now available. This podcast, along with all future podcasts, are available by SUBSCRIPTION only. You won’t be able to download them from this website or on iTunes. You’ll need to subscribe (FREE!) to my podcast list in order to download my little labor of audible love. To subscribe, visit the link below.

If you are a subscriber to "Greetings From The Third World", keep an out on your email account. A memo will arrive with a subject line that says "Podcast #004". In fact, you should have already received it by the time you see this post. If it’s not in your inbox, check your junk email/spam folders, otherwise, you’ll need to resubscribe.

I’d appreciate it if you don’t share the file download links to anyone. Tell them to go to the above link instead. This way, they’ll get all future broadcasts via email as soon as I release em.

I think that’s all for now. I’ll post a proper entry in a couple of hours. I need to use my home tv shopping ab thingie to get rid of my pregnant tummy.

Big shout out to Kristine from Maine. LOVE YOU sweetie!

I love you all as always. Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

PPSS. Email me pictures of your love. I’ll let you touch my fanny if you do. Heck, I’ll even allow you and your best buddy tag team me and give me a double anal creampie.