Bryanboy.com - Fashion Blogger
12:08 am

Welcome Back to Civilization. My Maid Deserves A Raise.

17/02/2006, Fan Art, Fans, Fashion, Press Coverage

Welcome Back to Civilization.

Welcome to blogging. Welcome back to civilization. I’m so glad I’m kinda over my podcast addiction.

Don’t worry though. I promise I’ll do a podcast once a week… perhaps twice or thrice a week. Depends. ;)

My psychic, also known as Miss Cleo, who, btw, got charged with deceptive advertising, billing and collection practices by the US Federal Trade Commission back in 2002, was right all along; my prince charming didn’t call me on Valentine’s Day. No dinner date, no expensive champagne… and definitely no tiny red box with a big shiny gift from Cartier.

I should have known better.

It’s been a quiet week at the House of Bryanboy.

My uncle had a heart attack on Saturday afternoon and my familia de horreur told me to stay at home as they take care of things at the hospital. I’m glad my uncle survived and he’s waiting for surgery. I think he’s gonna have either a bypass or angioplasty… I’m not sure. He’s currently confined at the hospital and he’s doing ok.

A friend launched a new collection from her line, Loungeri Lux last Saturday. I promised her I’ll go to the party but my parentals told me that I should stay indoors in case we need to go to the hospital. I missed the first launch and now I missed it again. I’m almost 24 years old for god’s sake!

Loungerilux_002
The oh-so-lovely Celine and her gold python Fendi Spy bag

I ended up not visiting him at the hospital so another weekend gone down the drain. Call me insensitive but it was my aunt’s fauly in the first place why my uncle had a heart attack.

Enough drama of my clammy clan. I don’t wanna talk about it. I wanna talk about beautiful things and beautiful people.

Loungerilux_001
Photo credit: The Fash Pack

I stole both photos from The Fash Pack’s blog (sorry!!).

If you live in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives, pop by Mix at Greenbelt 3. JUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU’RE ***NOT*** GONNA TOUCH THE LARGE SIZES! I’ll GET THEM IN 3 COLORS. BLACK, WHITE AND PINK. These tees run a little small and a big, obese bitch like me need every square inch possible.

My Maid Deserves A Raise.

My oh so loyal servant, also known as Miss Eunice, deserves a raise. Who knew the bitch (that I truly love) had talent when it comes to photography?

Doctor_001

I love her. I really do. That bitch mastered the art of namedropping and fashion faster than the speed of light. All of these conversations were done in our local language, fyi.


Me: "Have you seen my white belt with the yellow and pink stripes?"
Eunice: "No, is it the one from Delia’s?"
Me: "No… it’s Chanel because it says Chanel all over it!"
—-
Me: "Look at that woman’s Chanel bag. Isn’t it nice?"
Eunice: "The bag is a fake cause the quilts aren’t aligned/the same"
(Peke po yung bag kasi iyung maliliit na squares hindi po pantay pantay)
Me: "Oh."

Eunice: "Bryan, did you drink some cooking oil again? Your lip gloss is all over the place"

(Kuya, uminom nanaman po ba kayo ng mantika? Lagpas lagpas po yung lip gloss niyo)


When I got up yesterday afternoon, the first thing that she told me was "I can’t believe Paris Hilton is gonna be Mother Theresa in the movie. She looks like barbie doll. Isn’t Mother Theresa an Indian?"

(Kuya, hindi ako makapaniwala kinuha nila si Paris Hilton para maging Mother Thera. Para siyang Barbie Doll. Eh diba si Mother Theresa boombay?)

WTF.

Anyway.

On Wednesday evening, I thought it would be nice to pay my uncle a visit. I was bored at that time so I asked Eunice to take photos of me; I haven’t camwhored in a long time.

I’m telling you… I think I should start a career in becomin a cleaning lady.

If I can’t get a guy being Le Superstar Fabuleux, maybe I can get a guy by being a hospital cleaning lady?

A_nurses_001_1

Shit, if that bitch Jennifer Lopez can steal Dolce & Gabbana outfits from hotel guests or wear Harry Winston diamonds on a date to the Met, I’m sure I can do better.

Maid_1

Maid002

The person I’ll flirt with at the hospital are the ones on the Intensive Care Unit… the ones who have a one-way ticket to the morgue… the ones who are about to face death as soon as I touch their genitals… Before I do that though, I wanna make sure their last will and testament is signed, leaving all their assets and wealth to me.

God, imagine how lucky those nurses are.

HOSPITALS MUST BE GOLD-DIGGER CENTRAL!!!! 

I’m sure somewhere in the world, there’s a filthy wealthy hospital patient fed up of dealing with their heirs so they leave everything to the ones who wipe their shitty arses off the shitting pan.

Anyway, I think I LOOK SOOOOOOOOO DAMN GOOD WITH ALL THOSE CLEANING EQUIPMENT.

A_nurses_002

Lifearchives_1_1

Looking at a picture from my past, I think I was meant to work in the cleaning lady/healthcare industry. Here’s a picture of me about 5 or 6 years ago at Amanpulo. That’s table napkin on my head!

Amanpulo_nurse

EEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!

I have such a huge respect for nurses. Who else will take care of us even if we’re sick, even if they’re getting paid? I have to admit that nurses in this country are sooo underpaid, no wonder they’re emigrating by the flock to other countries, just like migratory birds.

Anyway, I respect them soo much when I got hospitalized, I had to boo them away in order for me to take a poop. I don’t care even if I was on Intensive Care. I don’t want a nurse to be wiping my ass with baby wipes; I want to do it myself!

Bryanboy Loves…. and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Doha, Qatar, Tianjin, China, Tampa, FL, Quinta Da Verdelha, Lisboa Portugal, Hanoi, Vietnam, Oslo, Norway, Kortemark, Belgium, Perth, WA Australia, London, ONT Canada, Mount Sibley, QLD Australia, Helsinki, Finland, Eschborn, Hessen Germany, Magnolia, TX and of course, all my friends from Cazevieille, Languedoc-Roussillon, France. I love you all. Say hi, don’t be shy you fuckin maggots!

#2 – I love these guys from Belgium. Don’t worry boys… when I go to Brussels one day, I wanna make sure we’re gonna have a threesome. Both of you guys can take turns fucking both my mouth and my ass. I’m gonna milk your genitals until the cows come home. I LOVE YOU BOTH!!!!

Belgium_001

Belgium_002 

Belgium_003

#3 – More love from all over the world… Big shout out to Milwaukee, Wisconsin and Hong Kong! As always, you know where to send your love. NO PHOTOSHOPPED PICTURES PLEASE!!! Email bryan@bryanboy.com.

Jimmycrackcorn

Hklove 

#4 – I hope you liked Podcast #003. If you haven’t listened to it yet, click here to download it. I named my Podcast "Greetings From The Third World". I’m open to ideas and suggestions!

Greetings

#5 – Be sure to pay my online forum a visit. It’s free for god’s sake. I’m gonna go there in a bit to post a couple of things.

http://www.bryanboy.com/forum

#6 – OH MY GOD. I GOT PUBLISHED AT OKLAHOMA DAILY!. OKLAHOMA. Oh. my. god.

Anyway, I have NO idea where it is in the USA but all I know is Amber Valetta was born there.

Apparently I’m this "Filipino Socialite" and I "make out with European models".

SOCIALITE?

ME?

Oh jesus.

European Models?

Me?

Making out with them?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

SHIT, I CAN’T GET A FILIPINO MODEL TO KISS ME ON THE LIPS LET ALONE MAKE OUT AND HAVE HORNY SEX WITH EUROPEAN MODELS.

Hilarious. I LOVE IT.

I like it that they featured me though. It’s one step to world domination. It’s nice to have readers from Oklahoma.

SOMEONE PLEASE SCAN THAT ARTICLE IF IT EVER GOT PRINTED AND EMAIL IT TO ME. I’LL GIVE FREE BLOWJOBS AND AN OREO COOKIE IF YOU DO. bryan@bryanboy.com.

Click here to read the article online.

I think that’s all for now. I gotta be up early tomorrow.

Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

I love you all.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

8:03 am

Podcast #003 is Available!

15/02/2006, Podcast

Podcast #003

Greetings

I’m officially addicted to PODCASTING. I’m telling you, it’s soo much better than hoovering endless lines of fine Peruvian corn starch up your nostrils.

I answered a grand total of 15 questions (the ones I like) on my latest podcast. You HAVE to listen to me do that ninjaesque wooheeeeeyha babble. I’m still laughing as I’m typing this entry.

To download my latest podcast, please enter your name and email address below.

You’ll INSTANTLY receive an email from me that contains a link to download the MP3 file.

(BTW: you may have to check your junk mail folder if you don’t get it on your inbox and authorize any email coming from podcast@bryanboy.com)

Don’t worry, I only want your names and email addresses to keep track of who and how many people downloaded my file. Numbers are important to me you know… information is gold!

I don’t mind at all if you tell everyone you know about my podcast. In fact, I’d even appreciate it if you spread the word.

However, I’d be extremely thankful if you point all your minions to go to this page instead so they can download the file on their own, rather than you handing out the MP3.

I ***PROMISE*** that I will ***NEVER*** share, rent or sell your personal information to anyone.

   
      

      

   

   

      

      

   

 

Name
Email
 
       

Not even to my own mother.

Big Changes at Bryanboy.com

I spent far too many hours playing with internet technology. I mean, it’s 8:00AM and I’m still awake for god’s sake.

1) Please update your address books to reflect my NEW email address. From now on going forward, please use bryan@bryanboy.com to email me. My gmail account is good but I’d rather use my bryanboy.com email address so your emails will go to my Outlook.

2) I made a discussion board/online forum!!!! I get far too many emails on a daily basis and as much as I’d love to respond to them all, I couldn’t because of time constraints. I’m starting to hate gmail cause I just found out that a ton of my non-spam emails went to my junk mail folder. Oh the horrors of technology!!

Anyway, to access the Bryanboy.com Forum, visit:
http://www.bryanboy.com/forum

It’s currently dead empty at the moment (duh) cause I haven’t publicised it yet.

3) I’m still getting a lot of people use my bryanboy.typepad.com URL. PLEASE CEASE AND DESIST FROM USING THAT URL and use WWW.BRYANBOY.COM instead. If you run a blog or a website that links to my typepad URL, please change them to www.bryanboy.com. I AM SOOO GRATEFUL that you have a link on your site to time… if you are NOT currently linking to my website, please do so… you won’t regret it. :P

I need my beauty sleep. I’m knackered to the bone and I’m on the verge of passing out.

Don’t forget to visit the forum to discuss this post and/or my latest podcast.

I love you all as always..

Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh_3

P.S REGULAR BLOGGING RESUMES TOMORROW. PROMISE!

2:53 am

Hunger

14/02/2006, Social Awareness

Hunger

Hunger_000
Gutom = Hunger

I thought I’d post this entry while it’s fresh from my asshole. I’d probably forget about it when I resurrect from my beauty sleep tomorrow.

I know it’s Valentine’s Day where I live and I’m supposed to be keeping an eye out on my email accounts, landline and mobile phone for a man who will wine, dine and buy me something from Cartier on the last minute.

However, hunger striked again and I had no choice but to raid the larder for a midnight snack.

I grabbed a Gatorade, a bag of Lays and some high-voltage salsa before going to my mom’s room. My mom is the ultimate partner in crime when it comes to my binge-eating sins.

She told me to stay and watch this documentary about a reporter who chose to live the day-to-day life of a starving citizen of the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives and provide an in-depth perspective on how they survive in these hard times.

Hunger_001

She specifically said "I hope you think twice before reaching out for your credit card when you buy another Chanel bag."

"Great," I thought.

I’m gonna have another social awareness lesson from a mad woman who once said some of the people in my country are similar to poultry because of their inability to stop producing a shitload of offspring in spite of their economic conditions. I have to give the woman some credit… it’s the truth, whether you like it or not.

Hunger_002

Anyway, the reporter met this 28 year old married man with 8 kids. He decided it would be best to spend an entire day with him. The man lives in the shanty with no electricity etc.

Hunger_003

Hunger_005

He sells empty plastic bottles on the street for a living. He can’t even afford transportation… he walks more than 5 kilometers to go to the market to sell his bottles.

He also has to make at least US$2.50 a day in order to provide 1 meal for his wife and 8 kids which consists of a kilo of rice and a can of sardines. That’s their entire meal for the day.

Hunger_004
1 can of sardines = 10 human beings

Most of the time, he doesn’t even make that US$2.50. So what they do is just buy rice… and some salt. If you think that’s awful, wait till you read this: there are days when he doesn’t make any money AT ALL.

The following day, the reporter went to another area where he met a man who has 13 kids. You read that right.

Hunger_006

His plight is similar to the first man. Too many kids, too little money/food.

Hunger_007

He even thought of turning into crime for a fast buck… but he hated the idea of doing so because it would be terrible for the kids if he went to jail.

He was literally in tears when he was being interviewed.

Hunger_008

At that point, I think I’ve seen enough.

I had an enormous lump in my throat whilst watching the drama of people at the bottom of the…. to say "food chain" would be an overstatement cause they HAVE LIMITED ACCESS TO FOOD.

In an effort to lift my spirits up, I suddenly thought that it might be therapeutic if ALL of the world’s anorexics and bullemics move to Las Islas Filipinas.

But alas, the lump in my throat didn’t go away.

It really made me think how BLESSED I am to be in the position where I’m in…

And I’m not just saying that so I’ll look good in YOUR eyes.

My gut says that you probably think I really don’t give a flying fuck about these rodents who doesn’t know when to stop fucking a vagina.

Don’t worry, I won’t take it against you personally if that’s what/how you think.

To the uninitiated… or to the Bryanboy.com newbie, my little narcissistic shrine has always been a tribute to me, myself and I, my love affair for all things fabulous, luxurious, hedonistic… my love for travel, shopping, handbags, designer goods, my never-ending quest for acceptance from others and of course, my vain and pathetic attempts to looking good.

A lot of people wonder whether I give to charity because "all I do"  (which, in my books, mean = all they SEE or all I WANT THEM to SEE) is have fun.

In my opinion, the point of giving to charity is to support the charity’s cause… voluntarilty, discreetly and something that comes from the heart.

I don’t understand the need to publicize or to tell anyone whenever I donate to charity. Private acts of kindness need not to be shown or told to anyone.

I REPEAT: TRUE GENEROSITY DOESN’T NEED TO BE SHOWN TO EVERYONE.

Perhaps I’ll publicize, yes, in my own circle, if, for example, I (or they) need support… fundraising events etc.

What do you want me to do… go around telling I donated this, I donated that? That’s ridiculous. Only people who run in public office do that.

Moving on…

At this point, I’m not even gonna point fingers and play the blame game as to who the culprit is. The damage is already here. There are people starving and they need help.

Don’t ask me for a solution either. My mere 2 brain cells is not capable of thinking something for the long-term.

I’ll be honest: thinking about eradicating poverty gives me rashes and hemorrhoids.

I AM NOT A GOOD SAMARITAN NOR I AM MOTHER THERESA.

I TAKE PRIDE IN THE FACT THAT I AM A SELFISH, POMPOUS ASSHOLE WHO WOULD RATHER LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY THAT I WANT BECAUSE MY LIFE IS MY LIFE. MY HAPPINESS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN OTHERS. THERE IS NO OTHER INDIVIDUAL IN THIS PLANET WHO CAN MAKE ME HAPPY, SATISFIED, CONTENTED AND FULFILLED OTHER THAN MYSELF.

But as someone who, UNFORTUNATELY, have luck on his sides (thanks to his ridiculous antics and vulgar mind) to empower people, the best that I can offer at this point is AWARENESS.

Afterall, proper awareness can ignite something big… something that can benefit others instead of ourselves.

That doesn’t mean we should stop buying Chloe clothes or Yves Saint Laurent accessories. I know that’s what I did earlier this afternoon.

Shit, with everything that I said above, I should run for Miss fucking World 2006.

I’m sure I’d get the crown.

Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

I love you all.

Baboosh!

8:11 am

Podcast #002 Out Now!

12/02/2006, Podcast

Podcast #002 Out Now!

It’s 7:18AM and I just finished a podcast. Like the first podcast, it’s mostly music but this time I’ve got a little surprise from some of my Malaysian, Swedish and British friends.

Podcast002

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD PODCAST #002.

I’ll be talking a lot more in the next podcast to come. That’s a promise.

I just need to figure out what to say.

blue sky

In fact, let me decide now.

On Podcast #3, I’ll go ahead and do a Q&A session.

Post 3 questions on the comments area or email them to me.

They must be interesting…

I am NOT going to answer questions that I’ve been asked before.

I’ll submit another blog entry in a bit. It’s 7:23AM and I’m sooo tired. I need my beauty sleep.

Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

Baboosh!

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7:20 pm

Sustenance for the Soul, Fashion First Before Comfort, Guess Who Came For Dinner?

10/02/2006, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Friendships, Press Coverage

Sustenance for the Soul

This is one of the main reasons why life is worth living.

I know the best things in life are often (very) expensive – I’m not gonna be a hypocrite… I’m gonna be soo happy if I got a brand new Maybach, a crocodile Birkin IN NEON PINK with diamonds, a gorgeous De Grisogono watch or a new massive pink diamond Graff ring that’s huge enough to create a fuckin hole as big as the Grand Canyon on someone’s face when I punch them… but hey… I’m not gonna complain if something is being given to me for free.

It’s not everyday that I get very sweaty, young, aspiring porn star males with construction worker-like bodies from Canada take their shirts off and pose for the camera.

Neil001

Neil

Neil002

I’m telling you… it’s images like these that pretty much keep me going. Images that depict your unconditional love serve as vital life support to my dreary, dull life.

Even Jessie and Natalie (from Malaysia), sent their love from the fabulous The Datai in Langkawi. Lucky bitches… I NEED A BEACH HOLIDAY!!!!!!!

Lovedatai

Lovedatai001

What are you waiting for?

Everyone’s got a friggin camera these days – digital cameras, webcams, mobile phones, whatever. Be creative and take a photo of your love. Email bryanboy@gmail.com. Be creative… please? None of those photoshopped crap.

I would literally cream my pants if anyone of you manage to get an entire gang of muscled fire fighters (or any men in uniform for that matter) strip and hold a sign over their genitals. I’d die a happy old woman if that happens.

*hint hint*

Fashion First Before Comfort

Last night was funny. I’ve never had a fashion failure moment (thanks to sheer stupidity) in the longest time.

I got invited to a friend’s birthday party at a local bar yesterday night. Everyone should wear blue because duh, it was a blue-themed party.

You see, I’m generally confident in whatever I put on. I usually just don’t give a shit whether my clothes look good on me or not. It’s always about how I feel, my mood and my attitude. To some, yes, I look fabulous. To most, well, I look like fashion roadkill. Whatever. What really matters is how I feel. If I feel good in spite of others thinking I look like crap, good.

I literally had nothing to wear yesterday. I thought I’d give my navy blue men’s (it’s the smallest for men’s… in my books, it’s OVERSIZED) velvet dinner jacket a shot. I bought it last year and I haven’t worn it.

And since my mother was out, I thought I’d raid her wardrobe for good finds. That woman HATES it whenever my siblings and I go to her closet.

I found a really old gold Chanel belt with stones. It’s amazing what kind of treasures I find in my mom’s closet.

I have no idea whether it can be considered as vintage. All I know is the fact that it’s old and several seasons ago. I think it’s the year when Shalom Harlow and Stella Tenant came out with those skin-tight, beige beaded Chanel dresses.

Navygold 

I wore the oversized navy blue velvet jacket on its own. I cinched (? I don’t know the right word) the sleeves down to my elbows. I wore the Chanel piece high up on the waist ala a Yves Saint Laurent. I thought the Charles Jourdan jeweled bag complimented the look.

With my hair slicked to the side, damn, I thought I looked smashing.

I thought I looked FABULOUS.

I arrived at the party alone. I said hi to DJ (the birthday celebrant) and to several familiar faces.

I was smoking outside – I HATE THE INDOOR NONSMOKING LAW IN THE CITY OF MAKATI. SOMEONE PLEASE ABOLISH THIS LAW BECAUSE IT’S KILLING ME FASTER THAN NICOTINE – and there was a table with several girls (who eventually introduced themselves… Hi MICHELLE :P) I didn’t knew who recognized me and said "Bryanboy!".

I’m still not used to people approaching me (don’t get me wrong… I love it… and I FUCKING ENCOURAGE IT… DON’T BE SHY, SAY HI… I DON’T BITE…. JUST DON’T LAUGH AT ME CAUSE I HAVE NO SOCIAL SKILLS WHATSOEVER AND I DO FEEL LIKE A TWAT SOMETIMES… hahaha) so I ended up getting all nervous. All I said was "sorry" and I ran to the toilets faster than the speed of light.

There weren’t a lot of people when I got there so it was kinda awkward. I didn’t want to play tails and tag along with people so I thought it would be best if I get a drink, smoke outside the bar and wallow in loneliness.

That’s when I started getting hot flashes… there I was, looking all cool and good then my forehead started to sweat like a rapist.

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WEAR A VELVET JACKET IN THIS HOT AND HUMID WEATHER ANYWAY?

I couldn’t bear it any longer so I bid my BRBs to my friend and told him I’m gonna go back home and change.

I HAVEN’T SPENT MORE THAN 15 MINUTES from the time I arrived!!!!!

It was HELL, I’m telling you.

I told my driver to bring me home and I settled for a Marc by Marc Jacobs top and my Chanel bag.

Ciaraandme

Djandme
(That’s DJ, the birthday boy and moi)

It was soooo weird cause for the first time (in such the longest time) I felt like a complete fuck-up. I said hi to familiar faces (when I’m not tagging along with DJ) and managed a few conversations here and there, but boy it was sooo strange. It felt like I didn’t know anyone.

That’s when reality hit me.

Maybe I don’t really know anyone.

I found myself standing alone in some occassions, smoking cigarettes, my eyes either wandering all over the place or just staring on the floor, whereas everyone is busy chit chatting.

I think the reason why I felt like I was an outsider is because I REALLY AM AN OUTSIDER… the classic fly-on-the-wall sort of thing.

I guess what it all boils down to is good ol classic social skills.

My fashion disaster ruined my mood the entire night so I left the party early. I stayed for about 45 minutes then I went home.

Shit, I got home at fuckin 1AM. GO FIGURE!

I wish I stayed longer… DJ’s been nothing but super super nice to me and it was a good party.

Guess Who Came For Dinner?

Wednesday night was a complete riot. I went to a good friend’s dinner party at Cuisine restaurant at my usual haunt, La Embajada.

Dinner_tina
(Happy birthday Tina!!!)

Dinner_ajmejackiemarco

Dinner_jacquesjackieiannejenni 

Dinner_timianne

Dinnertinadj

Dinnertinameianne

Dinner_me

I’m gonna get a haircut tomorrow.

My hair is sooo long even dykes look more masculine than me.

I’m gonna shop online. It’s been quite awhile since I bought something from the internet. Shopping real life is soo much better though.

Be sure to check my website out in a couple of hours cause I’m gonna create another podcast.

You all know where to contact me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

I love you all.

Baboosh!

8:59 am

Bryanboy’s First Podcast

08/02/2006, Podcast

Bryanboy’s First Podcast

By now you should know how much of a sucker I am when it comes to my readers.

After a handful of emails, comments and instant messenger chats, I decided to create my first PODCAST.

I dunno, podcasting is something new to me.

I know what is is and I’ve heard of it before… I thought it’s not my cup of tea considering I can type/blog anyway.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MY FIRST PODCAST.

Feel free to pass it around to anyone that you may know.

I appreciate constructive criticism. I’m not a DJ nor do I have any mixing skills… all I did was record and put audio here and there.

Again, practice makes perfect.

Besides, it doesn’t help having a voice that of a drug-fucked drag queen. :)

The file is approx 9 Megabytes large and about 30 minutes long.

How can a file soo small takes hours upon hours to create? Hehehehe!

Be sure to listen to the entire file… you’ll hear me say the word of the century… baboosh!

I’ll keep this blog entry short and sweet because it’s 8:57AM and I am knackered to the bone.

On that profound note, here’s some fresh love from certified Frenchmen and the city of lights, Paris… in France!

Pede

Pede2

I love you all. You know where to send images of your love…. email bryanboy@gmail.com.

I look forward to comments on my podcast :P

Baboosh!

1:33 am

Protected: Hello Superstar!, Dazzling Daphne, Ageing Gracefully

07/02/2006, Current Affairs, Press Coverage, Random Cheesemax, Shilebrities, Social Awareness

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

10:47 pm

Red is the Color of Love, Good Governance

04/02/2006, Clubbing, Loneliness, Love Life, Press Coverage

Red is the Color of Love

Gaststationchic002

10 more days and it’s Valentine’s Day. My ugly little brown ass is still single, just like it had always been (for the past 3-4 years).

I’m not being demanding. In fact, I’m probably the most reasonable person EVER.

I’m not even asking for a boyfriend. All I’m asking for is a date with a tall, cute guy who will buy me expensive dinner, expensive champagne and give me a tiny red box with a large shiny gift from Cartier.

ZagzagzagAnyway, I was cropping the latest batch of photos and I suddenly remembered (OUT OF NOWHERE) an online chat conversation I had with a French one-night stand. I met him a couple of days before I left Paris; we now talk on MSN (webcams and all) every once in a while.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: You know what’s weird? The older I seem to get, the younger guys I attract. I hate it. I need a nice man to protect me, not a friggin fetus. All of the guys I get these days are young ones.

Him: You get old… so they’re looking for a sugar daddy.

Me: Some of these guys have disposable incomes so I’m sure that’s not the case. But maybe you’re right. The young ones tend to be attracted to me because of what they see. They think I have money. Oh I hate it. I could never win in this game.

Him: Hahahaha! You are NOT classic enough for the old guy. You are too fashionable. LOL.

Me: I am not "too fashion"

Him: But you are young and young people are like that. Older guys, they want Ralph Lauren Polo and gray pants. SOMEONE THEY CAN SHOW TO THEIR PARENTS LOL

I wanted to slap the mother fucker right then and there.

When you think about it, maybe he’s right.

Perhaps that’s the reason why I’ve been single all along. I’m sooo OUTRé! I am soo in-your-face. Everything about me is distinct: my drug-fucked drag queen voice, my in-your-face clothes, my scary eyes, my trademark onion bulb nose etc.

Gaststationchic005

Maybe… just maybe… I’m good enough for a fuck.

Maybe two fucks. maybe three fucks.

No, make that four fucks.

Shit, I’m probably even good enough as a mistress… or someone in a relationship would cheat with.

Gaststationchic004   

But will I ever be good enough to be shown to someone’s parents, cigarettes, bad makeup, warts and all?

Gaststationchic001

I don’t know.

Nobody has tried!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAH

Perhaps the Frenchman was right this time.

Oh well. I’ll tone down when I get my Senior Citizen Discount card.

Gaststationchic003

By the meantime, I hope you enjoyed my paparazzi-style pics. I really need a full-time paparazzi to be on call on my shameless self-promotion PR shots. Hah! Anyone willing to take my photos for free? Email me. I have nothing to give other than sexual favours.

Good Governance

Believe it or not, it’s been quite awhile since I’ve set foot inside a gay bar/club here in the third world.

Government reopened its doors last night after a quick renovation and it was the perfect time to do a "GAY NIGHT" with gay friends and acquaintances.

Gaynightout004

Gaynightout001

Gaynightout003 

Bah, everyone is gay these days anyway. There’s the gay-curious brigade, the gay-acting straights, the gays-in-denial… the list goes on and on.

Gaynightout002

I had soo much fun yesterday… considering I only went out for no more than 3 HOURS! I lost a ton of weight from all that sweating, dancing and roaming I did around the club. I remember getting there at around 1:30AM and I got home at no later than 4:30! It was speed-clubbing at its finest.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Lancaster, Blackpool, UK, Houston, TX, Manama, Bahrain, Camberwell, VIC, Australia, Stettenberg, Bayern Germany, Moriyacho, Kanagawa Japan, Istanbul, Turkey, Oviedo, FL, Loughborough, UK, Lersen, Staden Kobenhavn Denmark, Tempe, NSW Australia, Malmo, Sweden, Boulogne-Billancourt, France, Askim, Norway, Tokyo, Japan and of course, all my friends from Micarone, Abruzzi Italyyyyyy! I love each and every one of you. Say hi, don’t be shy!

#2 – Big shout out to Altair Drexel of Kelowna, BC Canada! No… I haven’t seen Bareback Mountain yet. Feel free to burn my toes with a cigarette… I’ll watch it soon though. PROMISE!

#3 – I just found out not EVERYONE can view photos hosted on a Flickr website. Several people emailed me and there are some companies out there who blocked their servers from accessing Flickr. My oh my. Don’t worry though… I’m **THIS** close to coming to a solution. I’ll be hosting all my new images at a different hosting site now.

#4 – I HATE MY FRIEND LOUISE FROM SWEDEN. I made her 2 "I Love Louise" pictures and all I got was a crappy photoshopped piece of shit. You know how ****I**** despise photoshop. I’m not even gonna post what she made.

Louise

#5 – I can’t believe I missed the Goyard Boutique opening in San Francisco yesterday, Friday. It’s the first Goyard boutique in the world aside from the one in St. Honore in Paris! I’m truly honored to be invited (in spite of haven’t been to San Francisco in my entire life. Oi!) and I genuinely appreciate the gesture.

#6 – JUST KISS ME ALREADY. I AM TIRED OF PLAYING THE GAME. YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU, I KNOW YOU LIKE ME TOO. OK, MAYBE NOT. BUT PLEASE, FOR THE LIFE OF GOD, JUST FUCKING GRAB MY ARM THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME AND GIVE ME A GOOD TONGUE ACTION.

#7 – Small favor to those of you who live in the third world. Does anyone around here have a copy of yesterday’s (FRIDAY) Philippine Star newspaper? I have a photo there somewhere. Please, pretty please, look for my photo and scan it for me. I’m begging you. I’ll give you a kiss on the cheek and an oreo cookie if you do this teeny weeny favor for me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com. Thanks!

I think that’s all for now.

Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492. TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.

Be happy, be pretty and be gorgeous. Don’t do anything I won’t do.

Baboosh!

6:09 pm

BRYANBOY EXPOSé: I’M A TEENAGE MOM!

02/02/2006, Uncategorized

BRYANBOY EXPOSé: I’M A TEENAGE MOM!

I think it was my mom who once told me that no one can really keep a secret forever. You can’t bring your secrets to the grave. All secrets (apparently), no matter how dark or well-kept they are, get revealed at one point.

I don’t know what your secrets are but I, for one, had to face one of the skeletons in my closet, thanks to my stomach-sucking skills, who failed me for the first time last night.

Cha-ching! What the fuck is that????


That’s me with the birthday girls, Tessa and Xeng.

Yes bitches, I’m fucking pregnant. Again!

You’d think the little fucker got flushed the last time I had a round of diarrhea but little miss bo peep peep got wolverine claws.

I don’t even know who knocked me up! Shit, if only I knew who the father of my unwanted fetus is… I’d be knocking on their fucking doorstep and ask for liposuction money!

Anyway.


Photo credit: Mark Nicdao

I went to my usual haunt La Embajada last night for Xeng and Tessa’s party. The usual suspects were there and boy I had soooo much fun.

It was a good night… shit, I got home at fucking 5:30AM!!!!

So many pictures, so little space.

94440858_1243c61846_mBelieve it or not, people I don’t even know came up to me and talked to me.

Yes! Me!

I. met. new. people!

It’s amazing how I meet sooooo many people these days.

Around the same time last year I didn’t know shit. I love it. I really do.

I mean, let’s face it, I might as well enjoy it now while I’m at my peak because if I don’t play my cards right, I’ll look like that in a couple of years time.

I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE AND I SWEAR TO MY DEAD GRANDFATHER’S GRAVE THAT I AM NOT GOING TO END UP LOOKING LIKE THIS.

One day, I’m gonna meet a tall, gorgeous, filthy rich man with ill gotten wealth (gambling, corruption, drugs, extortion, weapons of mass destruction, whatever).

Just as my Mexican buddy Mauricio told me, I’ll be a trophy wife.

Corruption We’re gonna be going out in our Lanvin pearls, our Givenchy skirt suits, Roger Vivier stilettos, De Grisogono watch, huge Nancy Gonzalez crocodile satchels in shy black, Stephen Jones hats, Boucheron sunglasses and Revillon furs.

We’ll have lunch at Alain Ducasse, dinners at Le Voltaire and have cocaine-fuelled romps at the Ritz in Paris.

We’ll run out hysterically to the Dior Joaillerie dropping mad plastic. We’ll even have weekly liposuctions.

Shit, we’ll be just like Brigid Berlin (Andy Warhol hanger-on) and her sister Richie, who goes to Bloomingdale’s after getting amphetamine shots just to pick out new clothes and walk out of the store with them on, leaving their old clothes behind.

Not at Bloomingdale’s though… Alaia!

Oh god. I can’t wait to resurrect the fucking concorde… spend my morning and afternoons in Paris and evenings in New York.

Oh I love Mauricio. He’s in Madrid now though. *sigh*

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Hanoi, Vietnam, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Kelso, NSW Australia, Seoul, South Korea, Kuching, Sarawak Malaysia, Hoogvliet, Holland, Darch, VIC Australia, Banksmeadow, NSW Australia, Glasgow, Scotland, Beijing, China, Bangkok, Thailand, Jonkopping, Sweden, Kareela, NSW Australia, Zamboanga Del Sur, Philippines (OMG they have internet down there?), Wuliao, Taiwan and of course, all the cuties who live in Calgary, AB Canada!! I love you all! Identify yourselves bitches and say hello.

#2 – I have another live interview coming up in a few days. This time I’ll wear Helmut Lang. We’ll see.

#3 – If you’re near the Quezon City area, be sure to visit Green Papaya Art Projects (www.greenpapaya.org) at 124A Maginhawa St., Teachers Village East, Diliman QC on Feb 16 or 17 at 9PM. Tickets cost P100 (or US$2).

Anatomy of Humiliation in Desire (Anatomy Project 3) is a collaborative research project by artists from diverse disciplines as contemporary dance, video, new media and sound, that captures the awkward, hesitation and poignant in human relationships.  It aims to investigate the paradox of love by venturing into the ambiguous space that separates love from hate, violence and tenderness, anticipation and hesitation, fear and bewilderment.  Dancers research on the physicality of naïve and inexplicable emotions by exploring the gestures, movement and bodily attitude suggesting the violence, fear, irony, humor and humiliation of falling in love. Both audience and artists attempt the cartography of humiliation in desire in an evening of frenzied awkwardness, anxious hesitation, laughter and frustration.

#4 – Lots of stunning photo submissions from my readers all over the world.

Holy shit. Even an entire class (from the top law school/ivy league unis in the country) sent me a photo of their unconditional love. Say hello to these lawyers/future lawyers. Click here for the full-sized version.

It’s nice to see the faces of the people who will defend me in the event I murder someone in the future for life insurance money or a good handbag.

God. I’m shocked!

This is what happens when your girl_friend (or should I say girlfriend?) forced you to wear stilettos and carry a Longchamp bag.

These kids are soooo adorable.

Isn’t Riza sweet?

#5 – I have one thing to say to all these Swedish faggots in denial:
Om du inte vet din stil, maybe its maybelline!!!!!!

#6 – I hate it when old flames rekindle well, old flames. Where’s Dr. Phil when you need him most?

#7 – Brazilian Michael Camiloto (Gucci boy) is just hot. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot! Courtesy of BlogMadeinBrazil.com. I’m telling you, I am soo going to Brazil one day and get myself a hot Brazilian papi to bring me shopping to Daslu (if they’re still open by the time I get there).

#8 – I would like to thank Thomas Ruppel for telling me what I already knew.

#9 – Thank god I’m NOT the only one in the world looking like crap leaving the dermatologist’s/aesthetician’s clinic after a facial.

#10 – 12 MORE DAYS AND IT’S FREAKIN VALENTINE’S DAY!

If I’m not mistaken, I have been single for 22 out of 23 years on Valentine’s Day. There was a year when I was with someone but the loser was in New York and sent me home-baked sugar cookies via FedEx.

I NEED A DATE GOD DAMMIT.

I’VE NEVER BEEN ON A VALENTINE’S DAY DATE IN MY LIFE. EVER!

Tell me you love me. Tell me you wanna buy me dinner at my favourite Italian restaurant, L’Opera, here in the Third World on Valentine’s day. Tell me you wanna give me a dozen red roses, a kilo of Pierre Marcolini chocolates and a tiny red box with a shiny big present from Cartier.

Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

God. I hate ageing.

Baboosh!

6:27 am

I’m Going To Take Over The World… and I’m Scared.

31/01/2006, Uncategorized

I’M GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD… AND I’M SCARED!

Boohoo God knows why my throat is friggin sore. It’s been like this since late last week and it only keeps on getting worse. It feels as if there’s someone cutting my throat with a pair of garden shears. I haven’t been a bad boy; it’s been more than a month since my mouth got in contact with an unidentified throbbing object.

I think it’s time for me to seriously stop smoking.

Fuck, I’ve been smoking since I was 14, possibly younger. You can blame it on my cousins who taught me how to smoke while listening to Alanis Morisette in their car right on my grandma’s wake/funeral.

Soon. Promise.

Anyway..

It’s 5:39AM and I can’t sleep. At all. I haven’t been to my shrink since last year so I don’t have any prescription manna that would put me to heaven. Oh god, did I just say that?

I have this icky feeling at the pit of my stomach that won’t go away.

I tried to count sheep hoping it would induce dreams that involve a gorgeous, fit, 20-something prince charming with nice teeth and a nice smile plus a shopping spree at Chanel.

(OH FUCK IT. WHO THE HELL NEEDS A PRINCE CHARMING WHEN DIY IS MORE SELF-SATISFYING THESE DAYS?)

I got really disturbing thoughts instead.

May god rescue me from the horrors of insanity. I’m too young to be a nutcase!

1) I thought about my lower back pains. I’ve been getting these weird lower back pains the past few months now. It’s bad enough if I’m sitting in front of my desk… it gets worse as soon as I lie down. I asked myself (mentally, that is)  ‘I wonder if I should go to my dad’s room and tell him to bring me to the hospital now cause my back pains are really bad?’

2) I just spent 2-3 hours (we ended our conversation at 5AM!!!) chatting to a wonderful, new-but-not-so-new acquaintance who showered me with her wisdom and wise words. One thing she said that hit me really good was something along the lines of  "you really gotta love what you do because in the end it’s really not about the money that makes you go to work… it’s the love of the job."

3)  I really don’t know where I’m heading right now. I want a sense of direction but my mind’s all over the place. I want to do this. I want to do that. I forgot to do this. I forgot to do that. I gotta do this. I gotta do that. I KNOW I’m definitely going somewhere but it FEELS I’m not going anywhere.

Errr maybe I should change that to ‘I KNOW I’m not going anywhere but it FEELS I’m going somewhere’?

Know what I mean?

4) I think I might have lost weight. I felt my pelvic bone and my rib cage again!

5) I’m gonna die a happy woman if I get to meet former First Lady Imelda Marcos.

6)  You know, I actually thought about death too… I HATE IT when things like that pop in my head randomly. It feels as if I’m actually gonna die. I like to think of myself as immortal. Hello – I’ve said it many, many times. I want to be 75 and wear Oscar De La Renta.

It’s sooo creepy. It’s like, the more I think about death, the more I feel I’m gonna die soon. I wanted to bring it up on my blog before but the thought of me dying soon as a result of TALKING ABOUT DEATH itself bugs me.

Am I making sense? I hope so.

Shit, I think it was yesterday that I actually made a mental will of some sort. I don’t even wanna talk about it because of the fear that I might die soon.

Do you talk about wills and all? Probably not.

UGH! DELETE DELETE DELETE THIS THOUGHT OFF MY HEAD.

*PURGE* *PURGE* *PURGE*

I HAVE 5 HOURS TO SLEEP AND I’M GONNA SURVIVE IT! I’LL WAKE UP STUNNING AND FRESH.

Today’s gonna be one heck of a day – I gotta be up by 11AM cause I have a meeting with one of the biggest fashion magazines in the Philippines. I’m gonna meet their Editor in Chief as well as a couple of editors. I’m also meeting a creative team later this afternoon to discuss a project I’m brewing.

It’s 6:24AM and I’m gonna try to go to sleep… for the umpteenth time this morning.

On that note, check out this video of Kate Moss. This is exactly why I love her. I loved the part where she banged her head to the fan.


http://www.youtube.com/?v=s6yjfsop74E

Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492. Tell me I’m pretty. Tell me you love me.

Heck, if I managed to be the most beautiful creature Champs-Elysees had seen in years, I’m sure you can, too.

Sweet dreams and good night!

Baboosh!