Mary-Kate, Ashley and Bryanboy Olsen
I’m sure everyone in this planet had committed some sort of a fashion faux pas at one point in their lives. While some do it more frequently than others, I, on the other hand, represent everything that is wrong in fashion. I seriously never cease to amaze myself on how I come up with the most ridiculous outfits/combinations ever.
Most people say it’s not about the clothes… it’s about attitude and how you "pull things off". Maybe it’s true. I didn’t know what I was thinking on Friday night when I went out… all I can say though is "FUCK YOU" cause money speaks and my little hideous ensemble is probably (just probably) more expensive than yours. Hahaha! God I’m such an asshole.
Anyway, enough ranting and let’s get down to business cause I know you’re all anxious to read what I’m up to.
Me and the birthday boy, Dustin who looks sooo cute.
T-shirt by Dior Homme, oversized tank top by Ann Demeulemeester (underneath the tee), bracelets from Hermès, tights from www.welovecolors.com, bag from Chanel (Luxury by Chanel line), shoes by Mauri
This is the look I want to achieve but the damn weather here is SOOOO nasty (hot and humid) so I skipped the jacket and wore a t-shirt and an oversized tank underneath instead… oh and one of our maids couldn’t find my black thights so I settled for blue. My maid Eunice isn’t back from her month-long vacation.
I went to Absinth (I LOOOVE this bar) on Friday with a buddy to meet my friend Hannah and her friends. Little I had known it was the birthday party of this Dustin guy, who I only met once last week. I (unknowingly) gatecrashed his birthday party and I felt REALLY bad cause I’m not the gatecrashing type and I didn’t pay a single dime because the gracious hosts, Dustin and Christine, fed me with all the booze I can take.
The booze overflowed so who am I to complain? Even reformed alcoholics, people with cancer or fucked up livers won’t say no to free drinks.
That Dustin guy is a hoot! I LOOOOOOOVE him. He told me that one can actually lose weight by eating UNSALTED and UNBUTTERED popcorn the entire day.
Après-Absinth, we went to Cuisine (at La Embajada) for more drinks and fun. I got so tipsy to the point where I broke my Dior Glossy sunglasses (my fat ass sat on it… proof that I REALLY need to lose weight).
I swear to god it’s not a skirt. It’s an oversized tank top UNDERNEATH the t-shirt to cover my cock and my balls!
These are the Mauri of Italy shoes I used last night. I got these from Harrods back when I was 16 or 17 and I haven’t used them in YEARS. It’s amazing what kind of shit I find in my closet after all these years.
The girl on the right is Monica. I suffocated with envy when I saw her stark white Chanel 2.55 bag. What is it with people snapping up those white 2.55 bags anyway? She’s like the umpteenth person that I’ve seen with a white 2.55 bag.
I want one of those!!!! I really want one but I’m scared I’d fuck it all up with dirt in no time. Those white bags require extra TLC. Case in point: I completely fucked up my oversized US$2,300+ Dolce & Gabbana white lace and leather bag with pink lip gloss stains… and to think, I only used it about thrice. No more white bags for me.
I think the only way to keep a white bag in its original, pristine condition is NOT TO USE IT AT ALL.
God I look so red and drunk on this photo. And fat, too. Gotta love those Hermès enamel bracelets. For some strange reason, I haven’t seen too many people wear them. Hannah’s got the palladium-plated black one and I got the gold-plated white and the blue one. Everyone in this planet should have em. Those bracelets are wayyyy better than those nasty nasty kabbalah string. Those bracelets aren’t even that expensivo at $480 a pop and I’ve been monitoring Hermes.com almost on a monthly basis to see if they have new colors in stock. Someone just fucking bring Hermès to the third world for god’s sake.
Look at the look on my nonsexual wife Hannah’s face. Only HANNAH FUCKIN MATRONIC has the balls to chase local third world actors and go nuts in front of them.
Hannah, we gotta lose 20 fucking pounds your arms look as if they’re as big as his! What is wrong with us????? We’re all getting fat and we’re ageing disgracefully! WE NEED LIPOSUCTION, COCAINE AND CRYSTAL METH to get our 95-pound figures back!
Cuisine was fun! I’m so glad I went out the other night. I had sooo much fun it was overwhelming. I met a lot of very, very nice people (in spite of my scary Peter Pan outfit and alcohol-induced state). I was telling one of my friends, it’s great to have genuine fun with no pretentions or stress whatsoever.
OK, I lied.
The only stress that I had is the fact that I literally had NOTHING to wear the other night. I **NEED** to do some serious shopping once again. It’s funny how I bought so many clothes recently I haven’t even used them yet… I just need to find the right opportunity to do so.
SUPER Summer Soles
Lookie lookie at what I got in the mail yesterday. My friends at Summer Soles sent me a shitload of their fabulous stay-dry liners. I love how I get sent some goodies in the mail. Celebrities love swag… and since I’m a celebrity (hahahaha delusional cunt, that’s me), I love swag too!
Don’t you just dread the feeling of sweaty feet? Let’s face it, not everyone in this planet got dry feet. I know at least a handful of boys and girls out there (like me) who got sweaty feet. There’s this girl who I know and she hated wearing thongs because her feet get so sweaty she constantly had to wipe her feet using tissue paper in between bathroom breaks so her toes won’t look icky.
Summer Soles are discreet peel and stick fabric liners designed specifically for stay-dry comfort in sandals, flip flops and almost all closed shoe fashions – are sure to become a style staple for those who don’t want to smack, slip or squish their way through the season.
These one-of-a-kind removable peel-and-stick fabric strips provide edge-to-edge shoe coverage, are completely removable with no sticky residue, and, for women come in a variety of color and fabric options (“Suede Softness” and “Ultra-Absorbent”) or, for men, “Ultra-Absorbent” fabric in the classic colors black and chocolate brown. They accommodate up to ladies size 11 and men’s size 12 – simply snip the heel to size, peel and place.
I test-drove these liners on my my sky-high satin Lanvin cone heels that I got a few months ago. I haven’t used them yet because I’m saving them for halloween… the only time where it’s perfectly acceptable for a 17-year old boy like me to go drag without humiliating himself in public.
Summer Soles’ stay-dry liners are THE END of squishy feet. Because I’m fabulous and you are, too, Summer Soles offers a 10% discount to ALL Bryanboy.com readers. To get your exclusive discount, you MUST enter the promo code BRYANBOY upon check-out and you must use the link below to purchase them. Feel free to pass this along to anyone that you know. For more information about Summer Soles, click the link below.
Remember… you won’t get the discount if you don’t use that link or enter the promo code upon check-out. Summer Soles ships worldwide and offers $3 shipping wherever you are in the world.
I think that’s all for now. I REALLLLY have to work on my podcast. People are already bugging me, you know.
I love you all! Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
PS. Discuss this blog post here.
PPSS. Bryanboy loves Canada, too…. and people who go to Yale University. I like smart people.
Breaking News: ANNA WINTOUR
Oh my god. American Vogue Anna Wintour went to the advanced private screening of The Devil Wears Prada (the movie) at the St. Regis Hotel on Tuesday night with her daughter, Bee Shaffer.
Guess what? She wore Prada. I LOVE Nuclear Wintour!!!
From New York Post’s Page Six
ANNA Wintour has a sense of humor, but there are limits. The icy Vogue editrix accepted Meryl Streep’s invitation to Tuesday’s screening of "The Devil Wears Prada" – which she wore – but avoided posing for a photo with Streep, who plays an icy fashion magazine editrix in the film. Wintour bolted from the Paris Theatre with her entourage as soon as the credits rolled, skipping the dinner and charity auction at the St. Regis. Wintour, whose entourage included boyfriend Shelby Bryant, daughter Bee Shaffer, and Dixon and Arianna Boardman, "thought the movie was very funny," said her spokesman, who also said Wintour never planned on staying for dinner. One insider denied Wintour purposely avoided posing with Streep, who had never met Wintour before publicist Peggy Siegal introduced them.
"It was so chaotic, we couldn’t set up the shot," said our source. In the chaos were Streep’s castmates Anne Hathaway, Stanley Tucci and Bridget Hall, plus News Corp. president Peter Chernin and 20th Century Fox co-chair Tom Rothman. Martha Stewart, in the elevator after ward, said, "Wow! Who ever had a boss like that?" Silence.
Did you know Anna Wintour’s got a son? His name is Charles (Charlie) Shaffer. According to my fag buddy Mauricio he looks gay. I think he looks fugly. Non? Nothing worse than a fugly fag if you ask me. No wonder’s leashing out to everyone in the fashion world. He’s got a weird-looking fag son.
I don’t mind sucking his cock for a couple of nights though.
Imagine having Anna as your mother-in-law.
All the FREEEEEEE clothes and accessories!
Charlie Shaffer photo courtesy of Style.com
Click here to read more about the Advancec Screening of The Devil Wears Prada from Rush & Molloy of the New York Daily News.
I REALLY can’t wait to see this film! That’s it… I’m gonna sleep now. It’s 9:32AM for god’s sake!
Meet Andrés, an 18 year old guy from Argentina. I HATE YOU YOU FUCKING SKINNY BITCH! I AM SO GONNA SMOKE CRACK AND CRYSTAL METH ONE DAY AND BE SKINNIER THAN YOU.
I love you though cause you sent me an I love Bryanboy sign pic.
Fuck the haters. You know who you are. Jealousy and envy breeds malice my dear. Hahaha! All around the world, from far away places and faraway lands… everyone loves BRYANBOY!
I hope no more nightmares for me today. God forbid if Anna Wintour tells me I’m fat in my dreams. Hah!
PS. Discuss this blog post here.
STOP! Faggotry in Motion #003
Stop. Read. Listen.
You know, there’s clearly something wrong with me. Less than 24 hours ago, I made myself a pact that I’ll no longer loitter around gas stations with a fast food chain just a stone’s throw away.
I got up extremely late (again) this afternoon (I went to bed at 10AM!!) I was gonna channel Caroline D’Amore but whatever. I had little time to dress up cause I was late for dinner at my grandma’s house down south. Well, I’m back home now and I have a shitload of surprises for you. It’s been quite awhile since I last camwhored and going down south is the perfect opportunity to do so.
Weirdest Dream EVAR!
Karl Lagerfeld: "You are as Beeeg as a Peeeg."
Ugh! I’ve been slacking all week long. In fact, I haven’t shaved since since last week. My entire face is covered with stubble. Boy I look so fucking rough and hideous. Bin Laden would’ve been so proud of me for channeling my inner taliban. At this point, even smack junkie Pete Doherty looks better than me.
I was supposed to get some highlights and my hair done at 2PM this afternoon with one of my gal pals but I ended up getting out of bed 3 hours late. Don’t ask me why – I already missed far too many appointments this week (including a late lunch session with Mrs. T) because of my fucked up sleeping habits.
I had 9 hours of sleep instead of my usual 4. I got up at 5 in the afternoon all sweaty and freaked out: I had the strangest
dream nightmare EVER… and to think, it’s rare for me to dream. Extremely rare. I’m too old for that dreaming bullshit. Afterall, sleeping is the only time my mere 2 brain cells get to rest. I’m gonna dream WHEN I WANT TO and that’s when I’M AWAKE. You know, foie gras wishes and Chanel haute couture dreams.
The World Is Mine
Geography is no boundary when it comes to Bryanboy’s faggotry! New York City, Singapore, Montreal, Canada, Melbourne Australia, Chicago, Södertälje, Sweden, Baltimore, Maryland even Boulder, Colorado in the US of A!
Full-sized pics (and a guy in underwear) after the jump…