I told you Hilary loves me…
Remember the time when Fendi copied my infamous Bryanboy pose? This time it’s Hilary… with an old Fendi spy bag, no less.
Fine, it’s not exactly my pose but whatever. My pose is STILL going places, I’m telling you. Maybe not in Hollywood but it certainly has reached far flung places from New York City and Singapore to somewhere in bumfuck, Sweden and Krakow, Poland.
Shit, even my long-term Swedish loverboy Jakob, who just got back from a trip to Prague and keeps on getting blonde and blonder, borrowed some old, drunken street man’s bag and posed just to make me happy. I told him to hook me up with those Czech boys and he sent me this photo instead. Bah! I need hot sex with some east european fucker like pronto.
I"ll do a proper update later. I’m late for my doctor’s appointment. I’m having a chest x-ray, ECG and some blood tests done. I’ve been procrastinating and I just want to get this done and over with, once and for all.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
I love you all!
Why do I have this feeling…
I have to get this out of my system or else I’m gonna be insane. Just browsing the net, as always, and came across a picture of Hilary Duff over at Hollywood Rag.
Why do I have this disgusting feeling at the pit of my stomach that Hilary Duff and I have some sort of a (twisted) connection? Please tell me I’m not evolving BACKWARDS and Hilary isn’t the indicator of what my future would be and to think, I’m twelvehundred centuries older than her.
Let’s look at the facts…
- we both LOVE Evian except she likes to drink it whereas I use it to douche my ass before anal sex
- Hilary and I are just as fat especially now that she gained weight.
- we both like skinny jeans and we’re not even skinny
- she’s got the Marc Jacobs bag that I was just eyeing on a few hours ago.
- we have an awful lot of things in common (i.e. we’re both fat)
- I loooooove that "wake up wake up on a saturday night could be new york maybe hollywood and vine" song. Hahahahaha!
Click here to read what Duff has to say and for more pictures. Take note of her arms. I swear to god I’m just as fat as her. No?
God I hate being fat. This excessive weight gain has to stop! I’m already having a shitload of stretchmarks thinking about it. There’s a skinny, little, skeletriplet person hidden inside me, begging to come out of from all this excess flesh that I have!
You guys have got to watch World of Wonder’s latest videocast. Absolutely hilarious! Lots of quotable quotes from "it’s fabulous to watch Barbara destroy Starr" to "you don’t fuckkkk with Barbara." Click here to watch the video.
I love you all! Email email@example.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
PPSS. EmJay from GTF you are GAY! GAY! GAY GAY!
Bryanboy Loves…and Random Cheesemax: Retail Therapy and More
DISCLAIMER: This is QUITE POSSIBLY THE LONGEST BL…RC entry of all time so be sure to read it all.
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Budapest, Hungary, Plano, TX, Salford, UK, Staten Island, NY, Paderno Dugnano, Italy, Paris, France, Willebroek, Belgium, Lisbon, Portugal, Chrzanw Nowy, Poland, Beijing, China, Djursholms Sby, Sweden, Rome, Italy, Sarugakucho, Tokyo Japan and of course, all the cute guys and lovely girl from Hudiskvall, Gavleborgs Lan Sweden! I love each and every one of you ya fuckin maggots. Send me "I LOVE BRYANBOY" pictures! I can never have too much of those.
New York City, BC, Canada, Rome Italy, Jakarta, Indonesia, Philadelphia, PA, Madison, Wisconsin and Singapore. Unless you’re legally blind, it should be obvious to you that people all over the world love me so you, yes you, should start loving me too.
Full-sized version of these pics plus all the random cheesemax that I love after the jump.
Is it "Donna Karan" or "Donna Karen"?
Breaking news… The Devil wore Donna Karen.
The fabulous folks at "The Devil Wears Prada" donated a "Donna Karan" outfit to a charity called "Dress for Success". The outfit is currently up for bidding on eBay.
According to the auction, the outfit comes with "Meryl Streep’s Donna Karen 2-piece black crepe top & skirt". The "Donna Karen" top features a shoulder drape neckline with dual clip closures and the "Donna Karen" skirt has a zip up back and a false hip pocket.
Oh dear. Poor Donna Karan.
NO SIZE IS INDICATED ON EITHER PIECE OF OUTFIT and it even includes a costume department wardrobe tag!
The outfit also comes with a "Certificate of Authenticity" signed by Premiere Props and an authorized representative of 20th Century Fox.
Take note how the certificate of authenticity reflects the one of my favourite Gwyneth Paltrow films, "View From the Top". Hahahahahaha!
Is it "Donna Karen" or "Donna Karan"? You decide.
All I can say is…
I guess it doesn’t really matter what dress it is or what people are paying for. The proceeds go to charity anyway!
Big shout out to Kristina from Toronto, who recently took a picture of herself doing the Infamous Bryanboy Pose.
I love you all! Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
You better work! Sashay! Shante!
It’s 3:35AM in the third world and my day is about to start. I slept early last night, around 8PM after spending the entire day on the road. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise!
Yesterday was quite productive. I left the house before lunchtime, in spite of my face all red and peeling (yep, I restarted again on Obagi…I have to have perfect, flawless skin NEXT MONTH for another upcoming/possible project, that’s another surprise to tell), to meet several suppliers. My first batch of 20-something necklaces are all done… and they’re all GORGEOUS! I’m really proud of myself and my vendors. I’m extremely confident that most of you will react the same way I did when I saw them. It felt really good inside to be able to accomplish something. Unfortunately, there’s still lots of work that needs to be done. 20 pieces isn’t enough to begin with therefore I’m adding another extra week on my ‘calendar’ to create another 20 pieces.
The African-American BryanBoy?
I’m at a loss of words! OH. MY. GOD. That is sooo totally fetch. Felch. Fetch. Felch. Fech. Fetch. Flech. Hahahahah. The lovely folks at Crunk + Disorderly, one of the world’s BEST blogs dedicated to the fabulous black community, certainly knows how to make my day.
What’s up with the bag, girlfriend? It looks like I’m gonna be able to fit inside it! The belt totally doesn’t match your outfit… and that vest? SOOOO SEVERE! Oh dear. Hideous. Just hideous. I guess you’re trying to copy this look I did back on April… yes? Darling, fire your stylist and hire me instead!!! I love you though but you DOOOOOO look like you went on a lootin’ spree.
Shit, I used to be like that AGES ago… you know… I was MAJOR FASHION VICTIM GALORE! I slapped on all the logos AT THE SAME TIME…. I LOOKED GROSS AND HIDEOUS….but hey, there’s a thing called evolution and you, my black bryanboy friend, can change, just like me! There’s hope!!!!
In fact, here’s a photo from before. Icky!!!! Look at all that logo a gogo madness!!!! NASTY! I swear to my grandfather’s grave I will NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER DO IT AGAIN. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Anyway, take note how BBB got at least 100 comments. Click here to read them all. All of them are fucking hilarious.
He is a hot tacky ass mess! Labels do not equal fab! I’ll have to submit some pics of some of my true fab friends who really bring the heat in the style dept. Bryan Boy does it better. Noah’s Arc is a really cute show, too bad the "boys" don’t feel it though.
Who let this fool out the damn house. Honestly is the 1st GAY HOODRAT I’ve seen in a long time…
He’s doing too much! Belt, bag, sunglasses, vest, scarf, necklace, cell phone… uh… tether, sidekick. This brother looks like the accessories aisle in Macy’s.
This fool dressed up with too many accessories…Looks like he just came from lootin and grabbed anything he could get his hands on through the broke windows..
I’m gonna hafta disagree wit’cha on this one Fresh…whilst dude may be stylin’ he just doesn’t have that saguafaire (sic) that Bryanboy has…maybe Bryanboy can tutor him to get his faggotry in motion swagger on…Bryanboy is simplistic in his fashion but it says alot, plus he’s just not as sexy as Bryanboy is either…Baboosh!
I have checked out that Bryan boy blog and he is the truth. I love almost everything he wears. It is always coordinated. Unlike this creature who threw on everything he owned with a namebrand on it. This dude is a walking billboard.
About Dwen Curry not AS fabulostic as Bryan Boy (because the gayest gay that ever gayed has beautiful skin and he is so cute you just want to eat him to pieces) but he is very FABULOUS nonetheless, kind of like a step above Kimora and her sausage link neck, and plus is always good to have us a national FWLL (Fag We Love to Love) in deep chocolate brown
Having fierce labelz ain’t shyt, unless ur workin’ it to proper effect! The effect given here is just plain ova the top; ver, ver, geto booster. It can work at the ball, but if you walk into Saks, Neiman’s or Barney’s, with this look homebuscuit, ur azz is mos def gonna be trailed by security lovely!
I guess it’s nice to know that thousands of African-Americans out there love me. YO’ BITCHES SEND ME "I LOVE BRYANBOY" SIGN PICS!
FOR GOD’S SAKE SOMEONE JUST FUCKING SEND ME ON EXILE TO AMERICA AND GIVE ME MY OWN TV SHOW AND A SHITLOAD OF SPONSORSHIPS AND MAKE ME FILTHY RICH!
Photo credit: Willy Saw
There is only one Bryanboy… keep the faggotry alive!
I love each and every one of you, as always. Email me… email@example.com!
Oh, btw, here’s another Devil Wears Prada clip. I fucking can’t wait for this movie!!!!!
Busy Bee… Sneak Preview…
Time is truly the ultimate luxury in this world. I was supposed to go out this afternoon to meet one of my suppliers for my upcoming accessories line but I cancelled out first thing in the morning because I’ve spent the entire night designing a new website. Believe it or not, I slept at 10AM earlier today… for only 4 hours!
Last week was quite heavy, both emotionally and physically… I really have to go to the doctor soon. I’ll try to go to the hospital tomorrow morning. Remember how I complained about having chest pains/lung problems for the past few months? Ugh. I’m gonna give this whole ‘quit smoking’ another shot. I’ll try not to smoke a cigarette tonight.It’s gonna be extremely hard cause cigarettes are pretty much what keeps me up all night.
I’m just fucking exhausted. Of everything! There’s definitely something in the air. I overheard my mom talk to one of her sublings on the phone and she said my aunt survived a heart attack AND a stroke over the weekend. She’s currently recovering in the hospital. The worst part is, when she was rushed off to the hospital, her maid ran off with some of my aunt’s jewelry. It was cruel. Hearing news like this makes me feel sad. Ugh. Family drama eh? The good thing is, my aunt is fine and she’s gonna undergo some sort of surgery. Enough about my aunt… more about me!
I really don’t
know where I get the energy to get up each and every day… or how I’m
able to survive this sickening routine of "sameness". I try to make
each day a "new" day but it always feel as if it’s just the same as
"yesterday". Sometimes I feel that my life is so stagnant and I need a
CLEARER sense of direction.
The good news is, I’m finally making a lot of progress on my upcoming accessories line. I think I’m gonna focus on this over the next few weeks. I just can’t wait to launch this baby. One of my suppliers emailed me with pictures and I was happy with the initial samples. I guess you guys have to wait until the website is up to see what they all look like. Give me a couple of weeks. Promise!
Production-wise, we’re running a little behind
schedule because all of my accessories are handmade. We’re starting with a small collection of about 40 or so necklaces for the initial roll-out. My supplier and I also have to go through a lot of stuff before making a piece. Each piece is unique, crafted by hand and well-thought out so no two accessories are the same. Hopefully I’ll have all 40 pieces done before Friday this week.
I’m meeting one of my suppliers tomorrow to shop around town for packaging. Remember the cute black boxes I mentioned online before? I’ve been in contact with them and apparently, the shipping costs (from the USA) are more expensive than the boxes alone so fuck it. I guess we’ll buy all the materials here.
My maid went to the markets yesterday (Divisoria) and all she found were brown kraft boxes. Yuck! We’re sooo not gonna use brown boxes. Eeew. I guess since we’re just starting small, we may have to go to a regular "gift shop" or "wrap shop" whatever type of shop in the mall. After all, it’s not like we’re selling 1,000 pieces now. We’re still a mom-and-pop operation.
I’m really, really excited with my new venture! You’ll definitely hear more about it when I unveil it soon.
I think I’m gonna crawl back to bed and take a nap. I’m really dead tired and knackered to the bone… and to think, I only got up a couple of hours ago. Hopefully I’ll wake up again later, in the middle of the night, so I can get back to work.
Bryanboy loves Swedish boys and Singaporean kids! (I hope I didn’t sound like a pedophile right there. hahahaha)! Keep the love coming.
Big shout out to Helen, again, from Singapore, too. Man, am I big in Singapore or what?
As always, you all know how to get hold of me. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
Look what I found on the internet, courtesy of www.willysaw.com. It’s me on halloween last year! Man, those were the crazeeeeey times. I think I really look good as a prostitute. Yes?
(WARNING: PHOTO INTENSIVE) Blistered Feet, Bruised Heart, Madonna, Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax!
Blistered Feet, Bruised Heart, Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax!
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Manchester, UK, Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, Chattanooga, TN, Dededo, Guam, Leichhardt, NSW Australia, Ithaca, NY, Calgary, AB Canada, Centreville, VA, St.Jean-Rohrbach, France, Shimbashicho, Japan, Iselin, NJ, Berlin, Germany, Shanghai, China, Liding, Sweden and of course, all the fabulous people in Oslo, Norway. Bryanboy loves y’all! Say hi, don’t be shy! Big shout to Martine and her friend Sooommer from Norway. Jeg elsker deg!!!
#2 – I went to Preview Magazine’s Best Dressed Ball on Saturday night for about an hour or two. Everyone’s all dressed up in fabulous, rock-worthy outfits. It’s one of those VERY rare events where citizens of this little, tiny town in the third world actually put on HIGH VOLTAGE effort in dressing up. Everyone looked good in their ‘rock-chic’ inspired outfits. It’s a shame my camera batteries ran out of juice otherwise I would’ve camwhored the entire night. I can only rely on people who took photos of me. PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE SEND ME PHOTOS YA FUCKIN MAGGOTS! I’M BEGGING! Hahahaha!
Ugh, I feel sick to the bone. I’ve got about 6 blisters on my feet all in the name of f-a-s-h-i-o-n (wait, that’s 7), courtesy of my 5-inch or whatever satin Lanvin cone heels and I do not have pictures of myself. Oh well.
Rockstar WHO WANTS TO BE IN EXCESS
Photo credit: DANIEL TAN IN THE HOUSE!
(John Galliano S/S06 pinstripe jacket with skull silk-screen print on the back, super old Bernard Wilhelm tank top, metallic skinny Viktor Jeans, Lanvin cone heels, Dolce & Gabbana eel and kid fur bag)
#3 – More camwhorage…
The Princess and I
Photo credit: Stacy Rodriguez
Me, Anne and Ianne
Photo credit: Ann Bella
Me and Stacy
Photo credit: Stacy Rodriguez
#4 – In spite of all the blisters on my toes, I am happy to report that I did not trip in those heels. Not even once. It hurt like fuck but man, it’s amazing what a pair of heels can do to one’s confidence.
Anyhow, I was gonna have my Galliano jacket altered but I went to 4 different alteration/tailor places and NONE of them wanted to touch it. Apparently there’s a lot of details, from structure, lining and cut, to stitching, the buttons, the "corset-like" thingie detail on the insides of the sleeves. Ugh. John Galliano should make menswear for not-so-fat-but-not-so-skinny boys like me. It’s a size 46 men’s, which is the smallest size for John Galliano and I looked like I could swim inside it. (Photo on the right courtesy of Jenna Genio.)
Whatever though. Fuck clothes. It’s attitude that counts. In this dizzying, pretentious "plastic fantastic" world of fashion and mediadom, big balls, high voltage attitude and "fuck you high heels" are required in order to survive the scene.
Make-up artist Leo Posadas, Viktor Jeans Designer Ino Caluza and moi in Galliano and metallic Viktor Jeans
Photo credit: DANIEL TAN IN THE HOUSE!
I had fun that night though. I met lots and lots of people. I even made new acquaintances, bonded with people I never thought I’d hung out with, met people from my past AND people from my not-so-recent past, etc.
For instance, it’s funny how I tried to offer the olive branch to someone who once I considered a "best friend" many, many decades ago. Well, it was a one-way sort of thing. Anyhow, after saying hi and trying to hug her, her response to me was a loud "FUCK YOU! GO TO YOUR PRIENDS!", before turning her back away from me.
Smile for the cameras!
Photo credit: Anne Bella of Preview Magazine
Classic. I somewhat knew it was coming my way and I pretty much expected that to be her response. I only decided to take the risk for old time’s/posterity’s sake. What’s unbelievable was… I somewhat managed a teeny, tiny smirk deep inside me. It was quite apparent that this woman had no intentions of talking to me ever again, her attitude reflected her true colors and it took her THIS long to actually find the balls to tell me to my face.
Drunk, drugged and fucked. In Galliano, of course.
Photo credit: DANIEL TAN IN THE HOUSE!
In this life, I’ve learned to forgive… and most of the time, forget. I’m not the type of person who will hold grudges until the day I get cremated on a vintage, custom Goyard steamer trunk that my future husband will buy me and use as a coffin.
There are times when you just wanna let bygones be bygones and try to mend previously broken relationships in order to to be save/relish whatever good memories that you’ve had in the past. Unfortunately it wasn’t the case with this one.
Whoever said all that "time heals" bollocks should be shot in the head. Fine. time is essential because it allows people to mull things over before coming up with a resolution, but really, how much time does one need in order to decide whether to salvage one heck of a dysfunctional-a-rama, find reconciliation or worse, put a closure on the relationship? In most cases though, I find this whole whole "time heals" bullshit as an excuse used by people who can’t be straightforward with their decisions.
Besides, one can only do as much effort in order to restore diplomacy between two parties. But hey… it takes two to tango. If the other person would rather live in the past, there’s not much the other person can do.
Different people have different ways in handling situations like these. Everyone is unique… which makes the world a beautiful and colourful place. I guess it all boils down to the extent what kind of damage was done. Arguments only go for the worst as a result of miscommunication… or lack of thereof. To most, an apology would suffice. On the other hand, some people can mend broken relationships after a night’s worth of sleep… some may take weeks, months even years, while others require at least 3 generations of reincarnation, from man to monkey to Madonna. Some even pretend "everything is ok/fine/forgotten" but in reality, one party would stab the other person in the back. Heck, for all you know, they’re probably even backstabbing each other.
And then, of course, there are relationships that are simply not worth saving any longer. After last night’s incident, I realized that after making a fool out of myself (over time) by exhausting all options and opportunities available to me, perhaps saving a broken friendship isn’t what I was actually looking for… but a closure.
On that profound note (and since it was Gay Pride weekend in Manila last week), here’s an old video for those of you who are fans of Madonna. It’s one of my favourite, favourite tracks EVAR.
#5 – Bryanboy loves real, hard men. Right from the beginning, I’ve always tell teenage boys who court me that I want a man with a plan not a boy with a toy. It’s one thing to be admired by a lot of 16-18 year old European teenage boys but really, what I need is a hardcore British daddy to spank me from time to time. Allow me to present you Howard… and the coterie of zombies.
Visit his blog and read what he has to say. http://www.zombiecoterie.com
#6 – Bryanboy loves these girls. Thank you so much for the kind words. Y’all look good. I looked like a drunken, sweaty old mess. LOL. Big shout out to my fans lex, hanna, claud and rosanna.
Gosh, I even saw some of my younger sister’s friends at the club. Crazy!
#7 – I was blog hopping earlier and came across these photos on my little TV appearance. So THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE ON TV. I look as if I’ve just risen up after heavy sedation! Hahahahaha! Cut me some slack… it was 6 in the morning and I’ve been up for at least 14 hours! HAHAHAHHAHA
God dammit! I think I should be on TV more often. I think I looked ugly but my fans still love me! Hahahahaha! I need a nose job though. And a chin implant. And a liposuction.
Shit, I should have my OWN TV show.
If there are any agents and publicists out there who wants to make a faggot like me even famous famous (FOR FREE THOUGH CAUSE I AIN’T GOT ANYTHING TO PAY YOU CAUSE I’M POOR) then shoot me an email at email@example.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492. Hahahahaha!
#8 – Random Cheesemax on the net…
- The boys are back and the menswear shows in Milan are in full swing! Antonio Berardi reports from Milan. [British Vogue]
- Eva Mendes is having a footwear issue. Yuck! [Socialite Life]
- Is Paris Hilton’s bag Prada? [Celebworld]
- Congrats to Mr & Mrs. Keith Urban for tying the knot. [The Superficial]
- Hollywood legend Aaron Spelling dead at 83. [US Weekly]
- Kate Hudson looks pretty on the July issue of Vogue. Funny how I haven’t read a copy of American Vogue this year. Nevertheless, I really, really love the Balenciaga hats. TO.DIE.FOR. [Style.com]
#9 – If you are in the Philippines, do you still have a copy of June 24th’s Philippine Daily Inquirer? If you do, will you look up the "Super!" section and scan my mugshot there for my archive purposes? I took a pic on my camera phone when I went to Starbucks over the weekend and it would be very, very wrong of me to borrow a copy of the paper, go to the toilet and rip the page off and keep it. You all know my email address.
#10 – The HOUSE THAT MONOGRAM built (Louis Vuitton) is throwing a party this coming Thursday. Remember how I vowed to stay away from LV this year? I think I might pop by the party… if I find something to wear.
Well, an angel from the fashion industry in NYC emailed me "real-life" photos of the F/W bags and I thought I’d share it with you… how can I fucking avoid Vuitton when they came out with this gorgeous, gorgeous, alligator bag? Same with those gorgeous clutches! Shit… I NEED TO MAKE MAJOR MOOLAH soon! I want that bag and if I have to sell my ass to an ageing old man on viagra for a night of roompah roompah then so be it. I DON’T LIKE THE METALLIC bags. AT ALL. They look like the usual, run of the mill LV bags covered in aluminum foil then stamped with the famous LV patterns.
#10 – I have a new best friend and her name is Zolpidem. She’s also known as "stilnox" or "ambien" in some cultures. My god, these pills are lovely! I popped one around 4 in the afternoon and I got up 5 hours later. I think I might have found the solution to my extreme weight gain problem. I’ll just pop a 10mg pill when I’m feeling hungry and doze off to neverland ranch! Fuck diet pills and eating. Set it in stone bitches… I’M GONNA BE EMACIATED AND I WILL LOSE MY PREGNANT TUMMY!
#11 – LINK ME ON YOUR WEBSITE! Here are several cheeky and cheesy images that you can use to promote my faggotry to the world. Feel free to grab them and link to http://www.bryanboy.com. DO NOT USE MY TYPEPAD ADDRESS and use http://www.bryanboy.com instead.
#12 – I’m going to a publishing house sometime next week to discuss the possibility of me having a new day job! Yay! I’m keeping my mouth shut for now. Gossip and rumors spread faster than the speed of light in this teeny tiny town.
#13 – My Shu Uemura-sponsored survey results should be ready tomorrow. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all 2,087 people who responded. The results are astounding. WHERE THE FUCKING HELL ARE THOSE 176 PEOPLE WHO WANT TO FUCK ME WITH THEIR PENIS/VIBRATOR?
I think that’s all for now. I’ve got a lot of work to do. It’s been a crazy week y’all but it’s all cool and good.
I think I’m gonna indulge myself with an apple and some tea. I’m starving.
As always, I love each and every one of you. Fuck the drama and everything else. There’s always someone out there in the world who loves me for being… me!