Celebrity Schmelebrity. Fuck me. I’m Famous.
I wish. Hah!
Ohhhhhhhh Where the fucking hell are my haters when I fucking need them most? I’m currently on a roll because my sheer existence on this planet has been validated once, I mean, twice, again.
Let’s face it, everyone seeks fucking validation and acceptance. Some people aim to be accepted by a certain crowd, some people seek validation from their friends, some people want to be accepted by their families & love ones and some people… are struggling to accept themselves. I, on the other hand, being the geek that I am, seek acceptance AND validation from all the glorious and fabulous people in the world of the interweb.
First off… my favourite, favourite, FAVOURITE paparazzi photo website ofyoung Hollywood celebs, Celebworld.org surprised me with my own entry. Allow me to indulge and enter a state of delusional bliss for thinking I’m on the same ranks with my "buddies" Lindsay, Paris, Kim Kardashian (who the hell is she?), Britney and Jessica.
Visit http://www.celebworld.org to view my page or you can go to it directly:
God I’m soooo fuckin delusional eh? But whatever. It’s all about having fun.
WORK IT LIKE YOU OWN IT. FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT!
My ego brings all the boys to the yard… and they’re like, it’s better than yours. Damn right, it’s better than yours, I can teach you, but I have to charge. La la-la la la, warm it up, La la-la la la, the boys are waiting.
Next stop are the amazing people at Celebrities.com, a website that belongs to Hollywood’s King of the Paparazzi, E.L. Woody. I got a mention on their site/blog once again.
Visit http://www.celebrities.com/blog/?p=1336 to see me there.
I know, I know, I should stop this delusion of
grandeur fame but isn’t it fucking amazing how I’m such a NOBODY in the third world yet I’m all over the place on the net? Ok, not ALL OVER the place as in literally… hopefully we’ll get there, one straight man converted to faggotry at a time… HAHAHA… but still.
Man, I should get fuckin endorsement deals left and right where I live (I WANT MY OWN DAMN BILLBOARD GOD DAMMIT) but they’d rather chose mixed race mongrels, half GI-BABY/american soldier, half-reformed prostitute whatever. Maybe because they’re prettier than my ugly brown fat ass. Who knows? I really need to get a fuckin nose job and chin implant soon.
MY "OBLIGATORY PAPARAZZI SHOTS" ARE FINALLY PAYING OFF!!
HAHAHAHA! Look at me go all bitter and venomous. Ouch. God forbid the stench of all that vitriol I’ve been spitting will kill me one day.
Anyway… I’m a happy camper. The complaining stops here. Attention seeker got his dose of attention for the day and I’ll shut my trap for now.
Last, but not the least, I’m still waiting for the gorgeous folks at The San Francisco Chronicle, who interviewed me over the phone not too long ago, to publish me (podcast) on their site. They recently launched a podcast targeting Filipinos in the San Francisco/Bay Area. God knows whether or not they’ll post my interview cause I could barely remember what I said to the lovely reporter. It was 4AM! I wouldn’t be surprised if I spat profanities throughout the interview but we’ll see. All my fingers and toes are crossed and you’ll be the first one to know when that interview comes out…. if EVER they decide to publish it out. LOL.
On that profound note, I’ll keep this entry short and start working on a longer entry.
I was supposed to go out last night. I backed out and fell asleep. At 10:30PM! I didn’t have anything NOTHING to wear. I’m saving my John Galliano jacket for a special ocassion. Those Filipino bloody designers better start sending me free clothes, ok, I don’t wanna be a freeloader but a fuckin 50% discount would suffice. God my face is so thick it’s unbelievable.
Someone please snap me back to reality and burst my ego bubble.
Don’t feed the ego cause the ego’s trying to be anorexic.
You all know how to get a hold of me. Email email@example.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492
I love you all. Spread the faggotry alive!
PS. Discuss this blog post here.
You know what I realized a couple of days ago?
Thousands upon thousands of you visit my website on a regular basis. From Sydney and Osaka, Hamburg, Arkansas and Malmo, Sweden to Buenos Aires, Argentina down to my homies in Los Angeles, CA and Jakarta, Indonesia, millions of you have visited my site since October 2004. It’s amazing how a shitload of people all over the world found my little corner of the interweb and the numbers are still growing. You’ve read all my stories, you’ve seen and laughed at what seemed to be tens of thousands of my hilarious (and often ridiculous) photographs.
(That’s me at Shu Uemura’s latest party)
Now that you’ve seen a (small) part of my life on my blog after all this time, it’s my turn to know more about you, my dear reader.
I’ve always been curious on who reads my website. I mean, it’s quite obvious from the hundreds of "I LOVE BRYANBOY" and "INFAMOUS BRYANBOY POSE" photos that you have sent me, but I believe that’s only a very small percentage of the people who read (and/or visit) my blog religiously.
Mary-Kate, Ashley and Bryanboy Olsen
I’m sure everyone in this planet had committed some sort of a fashion faux pas at one point in their lives. While some do it more frequently than others, I, on the other hand, represent everything that is wrong in fashion. I seriously never cease to amaze myself on how I come up with the most ridiculous outfits/combinations ever.
Most people say it’s not about the clothes… it’s about attitude and how you "pull things off". Maybe it’s true. I didn’t know what I was thinking on Friday night when I went out… all I can say though is "FUCK YOU" cause money speaks and my little hideous ensemble is probably (just probably) more expensive than yours. Hahaha! God I’m such an asshole.
Anyway, enough ranting and let’s get down to business cause I know you’re all anxious to read what I’m up to.
Me and the birthday boy, Dustin who looks sooo cute.
T-shirt by Dior Homme, oversized tank top by Ann Demeulemeester (underneath the tee), bracelets from Hermès, tights from www.welovecolors.com, bag from Chanel (Luxury by Chanel line), shoes by Mauri
This is the look I want to achieve but the damn weather here is SOOOO nasty (hot and humid) so I skipped the jacket and wore a t-shirt and an oversized tank underneath instead… oh and one of our maids couldn’t find my black thights so I settled for blue. My maid Eunice isn’t back from her month-long vacation.
I went to Absinth (I LOOOVE this bar) on Friday with a buddy to meet my friend Hannah and her friends. Little I had known it was the birthday party of this Dustin guy, who I only met once last week. I (unknowingly) gatecrashed his birthday party and I felt REALLY bad cause I’m not the gatecrashing type and I didn’t pay a single dime because the gracious hosts, Dustin and Christine, fed me with all the booze I can take.
The booze overflowed so who am I to complain? Even reformed alcoholics, people with cancer or fucked up livers won’t say no to free drinks.
That Dustin guy is a hoot! I LOOOOOOOVE him. He told me that one can actually lose weight by eating UNSALTED and UNBUTTERED popcorn the entire day.
Après-Absinth, we went to Cuisine (at La Embajada) for more drinks and fun. I got so tipsy to the point where I broke my Dior Glossy sunglasses (my fat ass sat on it… proof that I REALLY need to lose weight).
I swear to god it’s not a skirt. It’s an oversized tank top UNDERNEATH the t-shirt to cover my cock and my balls!
These are the Mauri of Italy shoes I used last night. I got these from Harrods back when I was 16 or 17 and I haven’t used them in YEARS. It’s amazing what kind of shit I find in my closet after all these years.
The girl on the right is Monica. I suffocated with envy when I saw her stark white Chanel 2.55 bag. What is it with people snapping up those white 2.55 bags anyway? She’s like the umpteenth person that I’ve seen with a white 2.55 bag.
I want one of those!!!! I really want one but I’m scared I’d fuck it all up with dirt in no time. Those white bags require extra TLC. Case in point: I completely fucked up my oversized US$2,300+ Dolce & Gabbana white lace and leather bag with pink lip gloss stains… and to think, I only used it about thrice. No more white bags for me.
I think the only way to keep a white bag in its original, pristine condition is NOT TO USE IT AT ALL.
God I look so red and drunk on this photo. And fat, too. Gotta love those Hermès enamel bracelets. For some strange reason, I haven’t seen too many people wear them. Hannah’s got the palladium-plated black one and I got the gold-plated white and the blue one. Everyone in this planet should have em. Those bracelets are wayyyy better than those nasty nasty kabbalah string. Those bracelets aren’t even that expensivo at $480 a pop and I’ve been monitoring Hermes.com almost on a monthly basis to see if they have new colors in stock. Someone just fucking bring Hermès to the third world for god’s sake.
Look at the look on my nonsexual wife Hannah’s face. Only HANNAH FUCKIN MATRONIC has the balls to chase local third world actors and go nuts in front of them.
Hannah, we gotta lose 20 fucking pounds your arms look as if they’re as big as his! What is wrong with us????? We’re all getting fat and we’re ageing disgracefully! WE NEED LIPOSUCTION, COCAINE AND CRYSTAL METH to get our 95-pound figures back!
Cuisine was fun! I’m so glad I went out the other night. I had sooo much fun it was overwhelming. I met a lot of very, very nice people (in spite of my scary Peter Pan outfit and alcohol-induced state). I was telling one of my friends, it’s great to have genuine fun with no pretentions or stress whatsoever.
OK, I lied.
The only stress that I had is the fact that I literally had NOTHING to wear the other night. I **NEED** to do some serious shopping once again. It’s funny how I bought so many clothes recently I haven’t even used them yet… I just need to find the right opportunity to do so.
SUPER Summer Soles
Lookie lookie at what I got in the mail yesterday. My friends at Summer Soles sent me a shitload of their fabulous stay-dry liners. I love how I get sent some goodies in the mail. Celebrities love swag… and since I’m a celebrity (hahahaha delusional cunt, that’s me), I love swag too!
Don’t you just dread the feeling of sweaty feet? Let’s face it, not everyone in this planet got dry feet. I know at least a handful of boys and girls out there (like me) who got sweaty feet. There’s this girl who I know and she hated wearing thongs because her feet get so sweaty she constantly had to wipe her feet using tissue paper in between bathroom breaks so her toes won’t look icky.
Summer Soles are discreet peel and stick fabric liners designed specifically for stay-dry comfort in sandals, flip flops and almost all closed shoe fashions – are sure to become a style staple for those who don’t want to smack, slip or squish their way through the season.
These one-of-a-kind removable peel-and-stick fabric strips provide edge-to-edge shoe coverage, are completely removable with no sticky residue, and, for women come in a variety of color and fabric options (“Suede Softness” and “Ultra-Absorbent”) or, for men, “Ultra-Absorbent” fabric in the classic colors black and chocolate brown. They accommodate up to ladies size 11 and men’s size 12 – simply snip the heel to size, peel and place.
I test-drove these liners on my my sky-high satin Lanvin cone heels that I got a few months ago. I haven’t used them yet because I’m saving them for halloween… the only time where it’s perfectly acceptable for a 17-year old boy like me to go drag without humiliating himself in public.
Summer Soles’ stay-dry liners are THE END of squishy feet. Because I’m fabulous and you are, too, Summer Soles offers a 10% discount to ALL Bryanboy.com readers. To get your exclusive discount, you MUST enter the promo code BRYANBOY upon check-out and you must use the link below to purchase them. Feel free to pass this along to anyone that you know. For more information about Summer Soles, click the link below.
Remember… you won’t get the discount if you don’t use that link or enter the promo code upon check-out. Summer Soles ships worldwide and offers $3 shipping wherever you are in the world.
I think that’s all for now. I REALLLLY have to work on my podcast. People are already bugging me, you know.
I love you all! Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
PS. Discuss this blog post here.
PPSS. Bryanboy loves Canada, too…. and people who go to Yale University. I like smart people.