Who needs love when half of the world loves me?
It’s 12:28AM and I’m too knackered to blog. I had back-to-back meetings yesterday and I have another meeting tomorrow… I mean today… in about 10 hours. I’m gonna get some serious shuteye and then I’ll update my blog. Sorry bitches but my vagina is temporarily under renovation.
Who needs your love when half of the world loves me? Last time I’ve checked, you’re a NOBODY. Why become a big fish in such a small pond when you can be a pregnant sperm whale smacked right in the middle of the Pacific Ocean?
Guilty as charged! Now you know why I am soo fucking fat… All I do is stuff my face full with sausages.
If you’re anorexic and you know it clap your hands. *clap clap*
If you’re an attention whore like me you clap your hands. *clap clap*
If you have many people "loving you", many people senidng pics, if you have fans and you love them too you clap your hands. *clap clap*
More ludicrous nonsense first thing tomorrow morning when I wake up.
Camwhore Galore: Market!
First things first, I’d like to send a big shout out to Mrs. Pauline Suaco-Juan, Editor-in-Chief of the one top fashion magazines in the Philippines, Preview Magazine. One of my readers (thanks, Gia!) emailed me a link to a google archive of an article on the Philippine Star (one of the third world’s top broadsheets). She wrote an article, entitled "20 Trends that changed our lives in the last 20 years" and she mentioned my blog (woo hoo!) on item #7:
Hey, it’s not every day I get to see my name on the newspaper so allow me to indulge in this little brush with mediadom. Hahaha! Photo courtesy of Chuvaness.
7) Reality Bites
From Pinoy Big Brother to Bryanboy’s blog to "I-Me-My" journalism (the kind that’s really more diary than opinion column), Pinoys can’t get enough of the real and the mundane. Everyone’s jumping on the reality bandwagon for their five minutes worth of fame (and hopefully fortune). Following the lead of PBB alumni Sam Milby and Zanjo Marudo, many try the TV route and audition for one of the many contest format shows; many more are opting to write their own blogs, hoping to achieve even a fraction of the attention, if not controversy, Bryanboy’s site has generated.
LOL! Who knew I was controversial? Hahahaha! Thanks Pauline.
Before I spit my usual nonsense and pictionary bonanza, can I just say I’m dying? My upper left wisdom tooth is killing me. No wonder I’ve been having these headaches and fever the past few days — it’s my tooth that’s fucking me up! I simply CAN’T function at all!
I tried all sorts of over-the-counter/non-prescription drug out there (paracetamol, ibuprofen, mefenamic acid) and none of them are working. This is why I fucking hate the third world. It’s fucking easier to get ILLEGAL drugs from the street than get a narcotic. All it takes is a trip down the club, loitter around the toilets and wait for the powers that be to cough up a snowstorm — no prescription required! Fuck drugs though. My party and play days are best kept in the attict. Sober is the new black and I’d rather keep it that way. Besides, I’m not getting any younger. Who the hell wants to be found having a seizure in the club with your mouth foaming like a rabid dog with rabies?
Yes, I know I’m still obese. Deal with it, ya fuckin cunts!
To be honest with you, I don’t even think narcotics are available in this shithole. I know for a fact that vicodin is UNHEARD of amongst the pharmacies here. When I had a tooth extracted ages ago, the fucking dentist gave me ibuprofen. When I complained to an orthopedist about my excruciating back pain, the asshole prescribed me calcium supplements and a fucking ergonomic chair. I wouldn’t be surprised if cancer patients around here get paracetamol tablets. Shit, I’d rather jump off the bridge and kill myself if I found out I have cancer. That’s how terrible it is over here.
Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you. This is somewhat an emotional post although to be honest, I have NEVER BEEN HAPPIER in my life. My head has been nagging at me to do one of these things and I thought NOW is the right time to say it.
Hahahaha! How was it possible? I only started my free sticker promotion yesterday and my maid Eunice haven’t even mailed the stickers yet. So far I’ve received 1,341 free sticker packet requests. I figured we’ll send anywhere between 150-300 envelopes each week. This is much harder than what I expect.
Anyway, Howard (www.zombiecoterie.com) is one of my good friends in Londontown and I fedexed him an envelope sometime last week with a fair amount of stickers. He’s a brilliant artist; you should see some of his artwork. I love him dearly. He’s one of my fairy godfathers. (hint hint to one of my fairy godmothers.. I hope you’re reading this too.) At this point, I’m at the crossroads of what it is exactly I want to do with my life. In spite of all the drama in my personal relationships, I’m soo glad and blessed to have people like him who support me dearly and unconditionally.
More after the jump…
Free Sticker Project
Last Updated: August 8, 2005 at 4:49AM Third World Time
Effective immediately, I will no longer offer free packets of stickers to people who reside in the following countries:
I will still send free sticker packets tho those of you out there who submitted your request BEFORE the cut-off period. Anyone who reside in the following countries and signed up for a free packet BEFORE I made this blog entry shall get their free sticker packet.
NOTE TO SINGAPOREANS
***STOP THE PRESS! STOP THE FUCKING PRESS!***
Oh my god I wanna cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am no longer offering free stickers to anyone who lives in Singapore. I guess I underestimated you all. I really didn’t know I was THAT popular over there!
In a span of less than 4 hours, I received a staggering 182 free sticker requests (as of current count) from Singaporeans. I know I have a shitload of readers over there but I didn’t know a lot of you people would bite my offer. Hahahaha!
Effective immediately, I’m only gonna send FREE stickers to people who live OUTSIDE the Philippines and Singapore. I wanted to create some sort of ‘balance’ amongst countries, you know, maybe 50 packets to Singapore, 500 packets to the USA, 400 packets to Canada, 250 packets to the UK, etc.
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO FUCKIN DIVERSITY? HAHAHAHA!1
I’M FEELING GENEROUS!
Admit it – we all love freebies and we LOOOOOVE generous people. It’s always nice to have someone out there giving out free stuff. Case in point: Oprah. I remember one episode when she gave out expensive shit like cars and all sorts of other stuff to her audience. I know I’m nowhere near Oprah nor do I ever want to be Oprah but I’m feeling generous these days so I might as well share what I have.
Read more about it after the jump… CALLING ALL FREELOADERS: YOU HAVE TO READ THIS ENTRY BECAUSE I’M GIVING OUT FREE SHIT!
Bryanboy needs a
slave CaCee Cobb
I’m sooo overwhelmed with projects I need a Cacee Cobb in my life!
You see, my Mexican buddy Mauricio L. is my personal Rachel Zoe, CaCee Cobb, Leslie Sloane-Zelnick (aka Spinderella) and Elliot Mintz all rolled into one. He’s been extremely supportive over the past 2 years that I’ve known him. He’s always on my beck and call at times of need. For instance, when I tell him I’m fat on one of my never ending self-pity tirades, he’ll immediately recommend that I stick 3 fingers down my throat and get into cocaine abuse ASAP.
Mauricio is a godsend but I need someone local. Someone who’s willing to buy my iced cafe lattes at Starbucks or my large vanilla ice blended at Coffee Bean & Tea faster than Eunice can. I’m kidding.
I think it’s time for me to get a real assistant. I have a virtual assistant who works for me and we’re both swamped with projects outside my little Bryanboy.com stint. I have a day job too — prostitution is no laughing matter. I have sooo many customers I need to service on a daily basis and it’s sooo hard being a human sperm bank.
Do you want to be my personal CaCee Cobb? More information after the jump…