Mauricio: what u up to? Bryanboy: I’m bored. I’m connecting tags on my pieces. Wanna see my tags? Mauricio: Yes. Mauricio: did you do the big is beautiful post? Bryanboy: not yet. the plastic tags are about as big and as thick as a credit card. think designer authenticity cards or hotel keys Mauricio: those look more expensive than your pieces. LOL. Mauricio: kidding.
I just love Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr. aka Perez Hilton. What happened to him recently smells like what happened to me earlier this year. The difference is, he’s got balls and I don’t; his was deliberate and mine was one heck of an embarassing accident.
I need to get over this stupid bout of depression so I’m gonna plaster photographic evidence of me corrupting asian kids, one fucking chink brown person flip sucky sucky 5 dolla person ricer at a time. From Malaysia and Singapore to Indonesia, Thailand and Las Islas Filipinas, all you rice-eating bastards should get down on your knees and give me all of your money as if I’m the golden calf.
Also, I’d like to take this opportunity to tell everyone out there that there is NO Bryanboy in Singapore. I’ve been receiving reports that there’s some faggot rugby player out there using my name. I repeat, there is ***NO*** Bryanboy in Singapore. I’m the only Bryanboy out there. I’m gonna borrow some American redneck’s shotgun and shoot you in the eyesockets if I see you using my name. I mean for god’s sake if you’re gonna use my name PLEASE FOR FUCK’S SAKE USE IT IN VAIN.
I’m flattered though… *wink wink*
Anyway, if you guys are able to guess the nationality of ALL these Asian mother fuckers correctly, I’m gonna send you a free "I *heart* Bryanboy" sticker in the mail.
I love the Philippines. I really do. There’s no other place in this planet where someone on a budget can live like a king. Cigarettes are less than a dollar (it doesn’t matter whether it’s US, Australian, Canadian, New Zealand or heck, even "China dollar", which a former presidential candidate once said… yes, we’ve got a shitload of lunatic presidential candidates) and booze is fucking cheap. People all over the world flock this shithole to get drunk, fuck some cheap pussy and of course, catch the gift that keeps on giving.
There’s a thousand and one reasons why I love this country. Like Jollibee. God knows how many times I molested the bee without him paying for me. Someone should start some sort of a petition to get Jollibee to pay me a shitload of money. I’ve spent far too much cash on their chains and Jollibee is the reason why I’m clinically obese. We all know Jollibee Chickenjoy is heaven in a cardboard box.
Unfortunately with every 1001 good things I love there are 575 shitty things I hate about this country. One of them are Filipinos in general. It’s gonna take 10 years for me to create a list why I fucking hate citizens of the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives so I made a little random "stop it" list instead.
You are my sweetest downfall. I loved you first, I loved you first. Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth. I have to go, I have to go. Your hair was long when we first met. Samson went back to bed, not much hair left on his head. He ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed. And history books forgot about us and the bible didn’t mention us. And the bible didn’t mention us, not even once.
BRYANBOY LOVES REGINA SPEKTOR! Heck, even Galliano for Christian Dior (F/W06-07 Haute Couture) loves Regina Spektor.
I have to cleanse my soul and get rid of all the negative feelings in my bloodstream. I can’t remember the last time I wrote anything that involves self-pity so here goes.