Bryanboy.com - I'm so gay I sweat glitter!

Heat Wave

Heat Wave

Fucking hell! It's quarter to one in the afternoon here in the third world and I'm dying. I thought it would be cool to go jogging for an hour (instead of having lunch) but dammit, it's soo fucking hot outside! And with my long hair, it feels like I'm in HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like 35 degrees (celcius) or something. I probably could just sit on the sidewalk and sweat my fat away without moving but I don't wanna get skin cancer.

Fuck this bollocking exercise shiyet. I'm not gonna deny I'm not built for this exercise or jogging bullcrap. You know, with this nasty heat going on, I'm getting these weird thoughts of me pulling a Britney because having long hair sucks. I'm actually considering getting a baby mohican but I figured I'm too old for that and I don't wanna jeopardize some of my pending projects *wink*. But yeah... decisions decisions.

Bah! I'm going to the mall. I have shopping to do. I have a little dinner tonight and I wanna make sure I look nice and presentable.

SMS me! +63.915.785.1492. I love you all!

Baboosh mother fuckers!

The mothership is calling me.

The mothership is calling me.

I really want to cry. I just got invited to a real, real ohmylordexclusivehelpme (as in once in a lifetime opportunity) dinner tomorrow night and I *REALLY* don't have anything to wear.

I have exactly 24 hours. Can I go in my birthday suit with my pubic hair shaved into an interlocking CC logo or should I stay at home and cry?

*sigh*

I have a feeling it's gonna be the latter.

Exhausted

Exhausted

I'm exhausted!!!! It's Thursday already and I can't believe the weekend is just around the corner.

My dad is right -- time is definitely the ultimate luxury in this world. Why can't I have the luxury of time? I am literally swamped with projects to the point where I don't even have time for MYSELF.

I can't even remember the last time I had a facial and a peel. What, two weeks ago? Oh I don't know. My skin is seriously fucked up. I'm growing yet another acne farm and my all my nails are crappy. I also owe myself a good massage. I can't believe I'm neglecting myself for the sake of work but there's just so many things to do, so many commitments to fulfill and so many promises to keep.

Bryanboy needs a CaCee Cobb

Bryanboy needs a slave CaCee Cobb

I'm sooo overwhelmed with projects I need a Cacee Cobb in my life!

You see, my Mexican buddy Mauricio L. is my personal Rachel Zoe, CaCee Cobb, Leslie Sloane-Zelnick (aka Spinderella) and Elliot Mintz all rolled into one. He's been extremely supportive over the past 2 years that I've known him. He's always on my beck and call at times of need. For instance, when I tell him I'm fat on one of my never ending self-pity tirades, he'll immediately recommend that I stick 3 fingers down my throat and get into cocaine abuse ASAP.

Mauricio is a godsend but I need someone local. Someone who's willing to buy my iced cafe lattes at Starbucks or my large vanilla ice blended at Coffee Bean & Tea faster than Eunice can. I'm kidding.

I think it's time for me to get a real assistant. I have a virtual assistant who works for me and we're both swamped with projects outside my little Bryanboy.com stint. I have a day job too -- prostitution is no laughing matter. I have sooo many customers I need to service on a daily basis and it's sooo hard being a human sperm bank.

Do you want to be my personal CaCee Cobb? More information after the jump...

Food Poisoning and Filming

Food Poisoning and Filming

I don't even know where to begin. A lot of things happened in the past few days. If I got a dollar every time I said 'food poisoning' over the past 72 hours I'd be one heck of a very wealthy faggot by now.

The good news is I lost some weight... and I'm VERY well on my way on losing some more.

That's David Kempner (left), me and Fenton Bailey (right). Fenton has produced far too many award-winning documentaries, TV shows and films like The RuPaul Show, The Eyes of Tammy Faye, Party Monster, HBO Documentary Monica (Lewinsky) in Black and White, Inside Deep Throat and TransGeneration amongst many others. David, on the other hand... well, I found out early on Wednesday morning that he filmed Paris Hilton before. He also worked on Inside Deep Throat and Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason.

Boxing Day

Boxing Day

After several weeks of hard work, research, phone calls, meetings and waiting, I finally have boxes for my upcoming accessories line. They're quite lovely and nice... wayyy better than the cheap-ass kraft boxes.

Now all I need to worry about is the merchandise, photo shoots and the website. Ugh! Most of my pieces are already finished. We're on the final stages of 'quality control'... and we're also adding a few last minute changes here and there.

My god, hiring professional photographers are fucking expensive! One photographer even wanted to charge us a "per product" fee. Oi vey! The amount he wants to charge us PER PRODUCT (It's a 40-piece collection) is more expensive than some of the pieces I'm selling!!!!!!!!!!!

I really wanna have nice photos, like the ones you see on eLuxury, against a super super bright white background... *sigh*

Photo credit: eLuxury

I guess I have to keep on looking for a photographer who is willing to work for cheap or what the heck, for FREE in exchange for exposure on my sites hahaha! I really want nice photos and not just tacky DIY photos. I want it reallly professional for my little online shop.

Oh well.. there's a lot of work to do. I just can't wait for this baby to take off!

I'm gonna crawl back to bed. I love you all!

Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492

PS. Discuss this blog post on my Online Discussion Forum.

Sonny I LOVE YOU!, Typepad Outage Outrage!, Terrific Tuesday

Typepad Outage Outrage!

[BREAKING NEWS: SONNY BABY, THANKS FOR LEAVING A COMMENT ON MY SITE. ALL THE PHOTOS YOU TOOK FOR HINTMAG/LANVIN/BALENCIAGA/AND ALL THE AUTUMN/WINTER 06/07 ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE A FANTASTIC PHOTOGRAPHER! IF EVER YOU DROP BY HERE IN THE THIRD WORLD PLEASE TAKE A PHOTO OF ME AND MAKE ME LOOK PRETTY AND E-M-A-C-I-A-T-E-D. Photoshop if you must. LOL I'll even give you blowjob if you take super super nice photos of me. Otherwise, keep those Bryanboy poses coming (shit, Fendi used it on their ad campaign those assholes hahaha) and "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign pics. I'd die die die die die and I'll forever be indebted if you can get either Werbowy, Stegner, Boscono, Zimmerman, Galliano, Lagerfeld, Elbaz or Ghesquire to hold a sign hahaha. *kidding*

Visit Sonny Vandevelde Fashion Photographer Extraordinare's blog at http://www.sonnyphotos.typepad.com/. Click here to see the work he did for Hintmag. Everything from Yves Saint Laurent to Rochas, Lanvin and Balenciaga. Names, names, names. He's your man! He's the reason why fugly mortals like me try hard to catch an eating disorder (I eat too much) and/or salivate over pictures of THE beautiful ones!!

I LOVE SONNY AND I LOVE HIS FRIENDS ALREADY!!!!!! Hahahaha! Here's his friend Marc. Woohoo!

*fondles genitals*

------
Moving on...

OK. I have a TV interview tomorrow so it's wise for me to just do my daily flush while it's early and go straight to bed. Early to bed, early to rise, makes an ugly fat faggot pretty, skinny and wise!

(You gotta congratulate me. I just embarked on this popcorn diet and boy I got diarrhea today!!!!!!!! Remember what I said before? Diarrhea and dehydration is your best friend.

Next!
---

I'm fuming with anger! Typepad has a lot of explaining to do cause some of my new entries, drafts and comments got lost. It's not just my blog that got affected but hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of other Typepad-hosted blogs.

I have no idea why Typepad crashed yesterday. According to BlueOregon, Typepad went down for six hours ... I'm sure it's longer than that cause I didn't go to bed till around 7AM my time. I was patiently waiting for Typepad to be back up cause I wanted to post something about my latest obsession, Tyra Banks. I'll talk about her later...

Sunglasses by Gucci, t-shirt from Topshop, jacket from Dries Van Noten, bag from Chanel, corduroy pants from Christian Dior, boots from Chanel

I went out this afternoon to do some errands. I LOOOOOVE THE WEATHER! Rainy season is the best time of the year here in the third world. It rained cats and dogs over the past few days... it's sooo beautiful outside, gray skies and all.

Weirdest Dream EVER... Karl Lagerfeld: "You are as Beeeg as a Peeeg."

Weirdest Dream EVAR!

Karl Lagerfeld: "You are as Beeeg as a Peeeg."

Ugh! I've been slacking all week long. In fact, I haven't shaved since since last week. My entire face is covered with stubble. Boy I look so fucking rough and hideous. Bin Laden would've been so proud of me for channeling my inner taliban. At this point, even smack junkie Pete Doherty looks better than me.

I was supposed to get some highlights and my hair done at 2PM this afternoon with one of my gal pals but I ended up getting out of bed 3 hours late. Don't ask me why - I already missed far too many appointments this week (including a late lunch session with Mrs. T) because of my fucked up sleeping habits.

I had 9 hours of sleep instead of my usual 4. I got up at 5 in the afternoon all sweaty and freaked out: I had the strangest dream nightmare EVER... and to think, it's rare for me to dream. Extremely rare. I'm too old for that dreaming bullshit. Afterall, sleeping is the only time my mere 2 brain cells get to rest. I'm gonna dream WHEN I WANT TO and that's when I'M AWAKE. You know, foie gras wishes and Chanel haute couture dreams.

Snap out of it!, Meet My New Toy

Snap out of it!

I seriously need to snap out of it and I need all the help I can get. It's Monday night and the only thing I did in the past 48 hours is wallow in my own personal drama. I also slept tons, eat a lot and pissed a lot. I'm sooo dirty! The last time I took a shower was early yesterday morning. I smell like a fuckin goat. The last time I defecated was back on Saturday night!

I really feel like crap. I've been feasting on junk food the entire day. Hello self-destruction. I drank 4 liters of Diet Coke...  that's a gallon of fattening jizz. At the rate things are going, I may have to get a liposuction done PRONTO. At least I no longer have an excuse because I'm gonna be as big as a fuckin car.

I know I was wrong. Sober or drunk, there's no excuse for appalling behavior. Nevertheless, thanks, everyone, for all your nice messages. I got a ton of emails and texts. Keep them coming and please attach pictures of cute guys holding "I love Bryanboy" signs. Email bryan@bryanboy.com.

Seriously, thank you for trying to make me feel better. I still feel terrible and the only thing that can bring me back to life is a Fendi B Bag, in black patent leather or white canvas with black patent leather handles. I'm not that hard to please.

Meet My New Toy

I looove my new camera! The large screen is gorgeous. I have to admit the only reason why I bought it is the fact that I can draw things on the touch screen... and my younger brother broke my other camera, too. I guess I have to be extra careful on this one because I have sweaty palms. I really should get my palms botoxed. I heard hollywood celebs get it done on their armpits to prevent sweaty armpit mishaps on Oscar night etc.

Roberto Collina cardigan, See by Chloe tank top, Fendi spy bag and for the life of god, I can't remember who made the jeans. It's definitely not the same brand that sued Jessica Simpson for $100 million dollars.

Damn expensivo camera. I friggin paid around US$650 for it. Living proof that electronics are fucking expensive in the third world. I searched for it on google and I could've saved around US$300 by buying it online. I found a site that sold it for US$365!!!! Oh well. I'm impatient and can't be bothered with all the shipping etc.

I also opened my Shu Uemura swag bag. I got lots and lots and lots of lovely things from them: a limited edition brush, skin purifier, lavender lip gloss, some highlighter for the eyes, even a 24K gold eyelash curler (I know I'm gay but I'm ***NOT*** that gay), some false eyelashes I can use the next time I morph into a dragon, and a limited edition compact case.

 

I looooooove love love love love love love love Shu!! I loooove it. I don't even have to be a beauty editor to get a lot of beauty products for free!

Someone around here has got to be beautiful you know. I'm sick of being the ugly duckling. I wanna be a SWANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Unfortunately, I wasn't blessed with the best of looks and I need all the help I can get. Hell, I even brought up the prospect of plastic surgery with a buddy.

bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:24:56): hoy do you know how long the healing time is if i get rhinoplasty done
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:02): i feel like i wanna get a nose job
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:03): haha RRRIGHT
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:09): i don't know
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:09): what
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:13): WHY
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:13): Y
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:15): POR QUEEE
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:15): nothing
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:34): i mean, i wanna get a nose job, jawline job and chin whatever
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:44): i wanna be boootiful from all angles
hannah (10/04/2006 13:26:05): you are
hannah (10/04/2006 13:26:09): are the haters getting to you in all forms
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:13): nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:24): i've been reading too much tabloids recently
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:41): in fact, i bought 7 tabloids yesterday
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:49): star, us weekly, people, you name it

What was I thinking? You know I've always been proud of my nasty, hideous bulby nose (in addition to the fact that it also occupies a quarter of my face) and here I am thinking I should get a nose job. I reallllllly feeel unpretttttttttttttty!!!!

For god's sake someone please send me some vicodin or any hardcore painkiller out there. Not only I feel unpretty on the inside, I also feel unpretty on the outside! I heard vicodin can make the pain go away temporarily. I know Amanda Lepore take hers with champagne. I've never tried vicodin. In fact, I went to the pharmacy a couple of months ago and asked for it and the girl had no clue what it is.

hannah (10/04/2006 13:52:18): omg sedatives and cold champagne na drama mo?
translation: omg are you gonna take up sedatives and cold champagne?
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:52:24): shut up
hannah (10/04/2006 13:52:25): marilyn monroe
hannah (10/04/2006 13:52:29): ikaw ba iteccch?
translation: is that you? (in a really slang gay way)

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Paris, France (who doesn't?), Happy Valley, Hong Kong, Richmond, TAS Australia, Frankfurt, Germany, Pennsauken, NJ, Hicksville, NY, Jonkopping, Sweden, Dunedin, New Zealand, Notting Hill, London UK, Canberra, ACT Australia, Shanghai, China and all the fabulous people in Stuttgart, Germany. I love each and every one of you. Say hi, don't be shy.

#2 - I'm currently hooked with Karl Lagerfeld's whatever collection. A poshified version of Karl for H&M. I wanna get the tank top, the t-shirts, the shorts and the vest. Ohhh so effortless chic. Sooooo gorgeous and reasonably-priced. Vest is $225, tank top at $135 and the knee shorts are $175. Photo credit: Bergdorf  Goodman. I bet my silver chanel bowling bag will look good on that outfit.

#3 - This is thinspiration at its finest. I love it. It's funny cause the more I surround myself with images of thin people, the more I find myself overeating and gaining weight. I miss my old body, goddammit!!! I GAINED 25 POUNDS IN THE PAST 4 MONTHS! I REALLY WANT TO BE ANOREXIC. GOD HELP ME. I KEEP ON TELLING MYSELF I'M FAT, FAT, FAT... I EVEN STARTED TAKING REDUCTIL AGAIN AND IT'S NOT WORKING.

THIS IS ME BACK IN JANUARY.

THIS IS ME NOW:

To hell with it.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO BE FUCKING SKINNY?

I think I'm gonna look at more thinspiration.

Email me: bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

If you email me nicely, I'm gonna pull an all-nighter and work on a new podcast. Time flies fast and it's been 2 months since I last did one.

I love you all.

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

"Girls Are Too Much Time", Notice to the Public, Bryanboy's 2006 Resolution

"Girls are Too Much Time"

says this guy's own mother.

Meet Farris Hassan, a 16 year old American Republican past-beyond-the-twink stage who went to Iraq on his own to experience and understand what Iraqi people are going through.

This guy skipped school in order to fly to war-torn Iraq.

What on earth was he thinking? Click here to read the full article.

Dude, I may be obsessed about Chanel but I wouldn't go to 31 Rue Cambon in a heartbeat. It requires wayyyy more than a business class flight on Singapore airlines.

Notice to the Public

#1 - I'm sorta incommunicado from the rest of the world. I still haven't gotten a new phone because I'm not sure whether I left my phone and my wallet at a friend's friend's house (or his bar).

I'm going to get a new phone soon but I'm more concerned about the contacts and text messages on my Moto Razr. My phone contains numbers of various people I've met during my mini-winter escapade. Some of the messages (although short and nothing interesting) also have sentimental value to me.

My Goyard wallet also contains a handful of business cards (I think), particularly the ones from John Galliano's assistants and store directress.

Please, please, please pretty please email me if you have seen my black Moto Razr and yellow Goyard wallet. Email bryanboy@gmail.com.

I swear, you can even have my fucking phone. It's my contacts that I need... all my friends, lovers and frenemies. I'm a lonely mother fucker without them.

#2 - I love it when people spread the word about my crassy self and my car crass crash web site. But I don't like it when people use my name to sell things that doesn't have the Bryanboy Stamp of Approval.

While they're not saying anything negative about me, someone has been using my glorious name to spam various online forums and forwarding emails about how to make money on one's website.

Bryanboy's 2006 Resolution

1. I will eliminate bullshit in my life. This includes bullshit people and bullshit things.

2. 2006 will be healthier year for me. I will haul my fat ass to the gym, even if it's by rickshaw.

3. I will spend 2-3 weeks on a volunteer thing either in Nepal, Mongolia or Tibet. When? I don't know. But I most certainly will. Fuck 6-foot high backpacks though... I'm bringing Goyard! I want to do something for humanity even for once. Not that I already don't do anything good for man-kind.

4. I vow to find my own personal Aleksandr Petrovksy (sans marriage, kids, wrinkles and liver spots). I also vow to find romance in my life... that romance will come in the form of a little Oscar de la Renta number and I'll wear it when I go to... Starbucks! I have to admit that the chances of this happening are slim to none because the older I seem to get, the younger (and poorer) the boys I tend to attract.

5. Someone will GIVE me a job that will allow me travel all over the world, all expenses paid. Why even bother applying for a job when someone can give it to me? All I gotta do is to find that special someone. God knows how I'm gonna pull this one off. Can I reiterate that I am good (I am VERY good) when it comes to sexual favours?

6. Logos will be kept at minimum during 2006. I promise to be more discreet. Expect a ton of alligators, polo players, Hs, Ys and interlocked Cs.

7. I will have my own apartment. Oh yes. I don't care if my mom bought me a new queen-sized bed (apparently, I'm not yet ready for a king-sized bed) for Christmas! I will move out of my familia de horreur's birdcage, by hook or by crook, so I can throw hallucinogenic drug-fuelled parties and STD-inducing orgies with all the town's Tom, Dick and Harries.

I think that's about it. I'll be honest though - I'm not really big into these New Year Resolution things because laziness is my last name, procrastination is my best friend and it's soo much easier to have a fuck you attitude on things.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Bethany, OK, Lambeth, London UK, Minneapolis, MN, Pantai Valley, Malaysia, Rochester, NY, San Francisco, CA, Chula Vista, CA, Blackpool, England, Summit Argo, IL, Madison, WI, Mountain View, CA, Syracuse, NY, Phoenix, AZ,  Las Vegas, NV, Highlands, TX and of course, people from Skåne, Sweden. Bryanboy loves you all! Identify yourselves, bitches and say hello to me, the national mascot of the land of the brown, l'exotique and the natives!

#2 - Lovely. NOT! Thanks for corrupting my mind. You know who you are.

#3 - Just because I went travelling for a month and a half it doesn't mean the photos of your love should stop. Bombard my email account with imagery of your love. I'm a sad little bitch this New Year (I was supposed to go to this island but I'm too exhausted of travelling). Email bryanboy@gmail.com.

I love these girls. I really do.

I love you all, as always.

Email me - bryanboy@gmail.com! I'm a lonely, sad, miserable mother fucker with no phone and with no access to "friends".

Except for one (who, thank god, called my landline a few minutes ago.)

Baboosh!

Cryanboy, Love Me, Video Surprise, Stockhome Excess

Cryanboy

NOTE: BEFORE YOU READ THIS POST, I WANT YOU TO DOWNLOAD THIS TRACK SO YOU CAN FEEL THE INTENSITY OF WHAT I'M FEELING.

Download gettingclosermp3.mp3

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I have never felt soo stupid.

I did cry for a little bit on my way back from the train station (where I dropped Jakob off cause he has to go back to middle of nowhere, Sweden) to the hotel. Thank god I had my brand spanking new Gucci sunglasses to conceal my tears.

(God I look awful on that picture.)

I'll be honest. I haven't cried in a long time.

Heck, I didn't even cry when my grandfather died last year.

I don't even know why the fuck I'm sobbing like a little bitch. 

It seems soo petty and shallow, you know.

I bet you he'll probably laugh it off (or feel embarassed) when he reads this post. Am I right, Jakob? Hah! *kiddin*

Nah, he's a really cool guy. I'm glad that we met. I have to admit though, the chances of me and him seeing again are pretty much slim to none. History repeats itself and it's ***ALWAYS*** been like that whenever I go on holiday.

I told him yesterday when we were walking around Copenhagen, "Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Birthday."

Here's a funny pic taken on Friday (thanks Sebastian!!!!)

I look like a midget compared to all those guys. Ugh! Someone just make me 6 foot 3 already. Please? All I want for christmas is to be 6'3... or 6'4.

Love Me

While true love comes in the form of a Hermes croc birkin bag or a Vacheron Constantin watch, looking at some of these pictures will suffice when I'm feeling shit.

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for loving me.

(Bryangirl in the making. She's only 16 months old. Thanks Sharon!)

(Here's some Swedish lovin' lovin from Ola and Linn... they're some of Jakob's friends.  The left sign says "Go for it Jaqy" aka Jakob.)

AL from the Philippines even had their maids do the Bryanboy pose. I love it! (Hello to JS!!)

I love girls from the land of kangaroos and gorgeous surfer boys.

Here's a big one from Singapore. Bryanboy LOVES EACH AND EVERYONE of you.

Keep those pictures coming. A lonely, sobbing bitch like me can never have too much love. True love comes in the form of a photograph. Email prima facie evidence of your unconditional love to bryanboy@gmail.com.

Anyway, I need to get my head fixed. I'm gonna roam around Copenhagen for a bit, stock up on Georg Jensen and see more Danish people.

I need a good kick up my ass so I'll *snap* *snap* back to reality.

Video Surprise

I have a little gay video surprise for you all.

I'm cleaning up my digital camera and came across this small video of me posing in a club. Niklas must have pressed the wrong button and took a video instead of a picture.

Click here to download/view it. It's quite dark though. Oh well.

Stockhome Excess

Here's more Stockholm pics for you to look at. Some of the pics were taken at Sturecompagniet. I'm telling you, that FOX goes everywhere!!!!

Ok, ok, I know she's gorgeous. Her chinchilla is better than mine though. I love you NAOMI!

Baboosh!

Russian Incompetence, Emancipation of BB

Russian Incompetence

Words cannot express my anger right now.

I FedExed a couple of boxes worth of clothes, shoes and accesories from Moscow to Stockholm because all of my shit can't fit in my luggage. My Dior East/West Flight Bag is there as well as my Marc Jacobs oversized cardigan.

I sent the package on December 1, 2005 and up until this day, I still haven't received the boxes.

I've sent far too many packages via FedEx and this is the first time I had a problem with customs.

Not just any customs, Russian customs in particular.

Apparently, Golden Apple Hotel's reception staff filled out the Russian Customs form INCORRECTLY and Russian Customs need the form to be filled out again - in Russian.

How the hell am I supposed to fill it out when I'm in fucking Stockholm? I should've gotten the package in no more than 1-2 days.

Oooooh my blood is boiling. I told the fuckers to not even bother sending the package to Stockholm cause I'm leaving in 2 days. I told them to just ship it back to the hotel because I'm coming to Moscow again on my way back home.

I've got a US$1,795 Dior bag in that box and I wanted to use it in Paris when I go to the Dior store. I guess my Dior lovin' lovin days are finally over.

Emancipation of BB

You know, for some strange reason, I've changed my personal style drastically on this trip.

Gone are my love for all things bright, colourful and logo-ed (except for the Dior hat and the Vuitton bag).

Most of the stuff I bought (and wear) are from Marni, Chloe, Balenciaga, Yves Saint Laurent. I now appreciate (and love) Lanvin.

Gone is my love for Dior and Fendi. My love for Dolce & Gabbana is nonexistent. I even managed to go to an Etro store WITHOUT buying anything.

What is happening to me????

I don't accessorize as much, either.

For instance, all I'm wearing at the moment is a Balenciaga assymetrical top, Cheap Monday jeans, a blue Hermes bracelet and Balenciaga bag.

I'll probably throw in my black corduroy hat, a Zara plain black wool coat and a plain black cashmere scarf from Malo when I go out.... no logos of any kind.

*sigh*

You know what even bugs me?

In a way, I feel so fucking good about it.

Good riddance on those logos.

Baboosh!

I'm NOT Happy. Want Drama? I'll Give You Drama.

I'm NOT Happy...

at the moment, that is.

Sorry for the lack of updates - I've got sooo many things going on in my life.

I've NEVER been this stressed. EVER!

At least my skin's good this week. NO breakouts whatsoever.

Blame it on the facial that I recently had. Har har.

Want Drama?

I'll give you drama.

1. My baby bitch (literally), Daria, is really sick. In fact, she's been sick for the past 3 days. The vet said she's got kidney and liver problems, according to her recent blood test. She hasn't peed since yesterday (Wednesday) - I know my pooch, she's the crown princess of all things related to urine but for some strange reason, she hasn't peed at ALL recently. My maid brought her to the vet (again) as I'm writing this for another check-up cause her stomach is REALLY bloated. Poor Daria.  hope she gets well soon. Thinking about her makes me want to cry - she brings so much life in this household!

2. Xerox is my best friend these days. You won't believe the amount of time I've spent hanging out with the trusty old xerox machine - the paper cuts on my fingers are prima facie evidence that all I've been doing the past few days is handling paperwork.

The embassies do want everything. Income tax returns, business registration documents, bank statements (HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PRODUCE BANK STATEMENTS WHEN 2 OF MY "DAY-TO-DAY" BANK ACCOUNTS... WELL, BANKS, DON'T EVEN SEND PRINTED STATEMENTS CAUSE I JUST VIEW MY TRANSACTIONS ONLINE??????? THANK GOD I HAVE THE ODD, PASSBOOK-BASED SAVINGS ACCOUNT HERE AND THERE AND I'LL JUST USE THAT INSTEAD), credit card statements, photocopies of all my passports' stamps and visas, etc etc etc. I even asked my driver to fucking go to the National Statistics Office to get a CERTIFIED copy of my birth certificate printed on some fancy schmancy paper. I simply don't get it - isn't my passport and my gorgeous self enough to validate my existence?

Obviously not cause I'm a MODEL CITIZEN of the THIRD WORLD.

You gotta love bureaucracy and red tape baby.

3. I have 19 days before I leave good ol' Manille for my winter escapade and I've only sorted out 1 visa so far. I need to get 3 more tourist visas to my destinations and I only have about 2 weeks LEFT!!!!!! God knows if I get my visas in time. I may have to do some begging (so they'll process my visa applications FAST) at the embassy.

I doubt they'll do it though. I'm Mrs. John L. Nobody.

OHHHHH I FUCKING hate it.

The worst position next to "doggie style" is that one of being at the mercy of others.

Will my fabulous looks (yuck - go on then - make faces) and fantastic charm work with my visa interview officers/consul people so that I can fulfill my fall/winter 2005 escapade and return before Christmas?

 

Ugh! Just tell me I don't look like this guy/these people. (BTW, I got this pic as it is FROM google. search for "illegal immigrant". No offense to people of the coloured kind. Hello - I'm a certified gook! I know what it's like to be on BROWN ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION)

 

These ones are courtesy of the BBC.

Where's the fun in that?

The best part of travelling is going BACK HOME and all the PRETENTIOUS BRAGGING RIGHTS that come along with it. Let's face it, anyone who fucking travels changes as soon as they get back.

"Oh darling, I went to so-and-so place, you have to go there!"
"OOOOOOOO The shopping is fantastic!"
"The food is to die for, you should go to so and so restaurant!"
"You have to see X, Y, Z"

Blah blah bullshit.

I love it though.

I'm guilty as charged.

I like to give myself a period of post-vacation bragging fun of about 2 weeks. Brag and blab to everyone I know - within a 2 week timeframe. Any bragging beyond those 2 weeks is pointless.

Funny I said that - I know of several people who keeps going on and on about where they went... even if the fact that the last time they went there was more than a DECADE ago.

Anyway, I'll keep it "hush-hush" for now as to where I'm going.

I know I'm not supposed to buy plane tickets UNLESS the visas are approved but I'm an impatient mother fucker. I bought all my plane tickets, from one destination to the next, booked my hotels, etc. It will definitely help me budget. I know most fares go up at the last minute - it's always better to book in advance. Besides, I *NEVER* fly economy. All my flights are on business and they're fully changeable, refundable, etc. My losses, in the event I get denied, are gonna be miniscule.

Nevertheless, I'll try my luck.

I mean, if I was meant to be denied, then I'll be denied. If I was meant to be approved, then I'll be approved. The world is such a huge place anyway. If I wasn't meant to go to the places I want to go before Christmas, there's always the mall.

Bah!

I'll update later. Promise.

(Afterall, it's my blog's 1 year ANNIVERSARY today.)

I love you all. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh!

Louis Vuitton, Decision-Making

Louis Vuitton

Oh dear. I had serious palpitations earlier.

(image courtesy of LouisVuitton.com, LVMH)

Vogue.co.uk:

Louis Vuitton will close Paris Fashion Week with a party to publicise its biggest store yet, opening on the Champs-Elysées on 10 October for a select clientele. A hundred "VICs" (very important clients) suspected of spending up to $200,000 a year on the luxury brand have been invited to mingle with celebrities for a preview of the store and the chance to buy limited-edition items. Sharon Stone, Serena Williams and Uma Thurman are expected to attend the event, which will comprise dinner and a visit to Vuitton's museum in Asniéres. The opening coincides with the launch of Louis Vuitton's online store. (26 August, 2005)

I won't divulge anything as of yet... but... is it France or Russia this winter?

a) France: rush to the French Embassy PRONTO to apply for a tourist visa (funny how I talked about the damn visa thing yesterday), go to the travel agent, book business class airline tickets to Paris for only a 1-week stay, try to get a decent hotel suite (because of the fact that it's fashion week, rooms at the top hotels are scarce), deprive myself of shopping, dining, going out, etc for an ENTIRE MONTH otherwise it would be no serious shopping (other than food, booze and presents) for me in Paris...

PROS:
- MIGHT be able to go to LV's hottest ticket this year (take note of the MIGHTY word MIGHT)
- COULD BE a once in a lifetime opportunity. Well, at least for now.
- Uma Thurman. OH. MY. GOD.

CONS:
- 1-week stay only. my parents are gonna flip out cause it's only last month that I left.
- can't go all out on shopping (I shouldn't have gone to HK!!!!!!!) cause last month's bills haven't even arrived yet!
- what's a trip to Paris without spending big buckeroos at Louis Vuitton. Loulou de la Falaise. Colette. Hermes. Dior. Chanel?
- it would be very sad to come home empty-handed (like that would ever happen, knowing me, but still...)
- winter outfits gone to waste because of warm, tank top + cashmere cardigan, October weather

or

b) Russia: let this once in a lifetime opportunity pass, sulk for several months but revel in caviar, blinis, vodka, gorgeous Russian eye candy during hardcore winter wonderland because I know the fall/winter outfits that I bought on my recent shopping expedition (including my precious Fendi and Hermes down jacket) won't go to waste... but I have to wait until Nov 17 to make that happen.

PROS:
- no rush, no stress
- my hotel is FREE for 12 days in Moscow because I've racked up over 140,000 points on my Starwood Preferred Guest account. 10,000 points = 1 free night at the Moscow Sheraton.
- caviar, blinis, vodka
- pure winter wonderland escapade
- I'll get to see my Russian friends whom I haven't seen since last year
- I'll get to use my Dior snow boots, Fendi, my furs, my Hermes down jacket
- my Russian friends can finally teach me snowboarding (I'm REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS)
- I'll get to visit North Russia where nuclear submarines are at
- very litte shopping (not set in stone cause I'll be on a 1-day stopover in HK for last minute necessity buying) which leaves me more opportunities for next year, i.e. NYC on either Jan/Feb or Mar.

CONS:
- MIGHT miss LV's hottest ticket this year
- COULD ONLY BE a once in a lifetime opportunity. Well, at least for now.
- Uma Thurman. OH. MY. GOD.

As I've said, I'm not divulging any more details unless I get my act together.

And before you start bombarding me with messages of temptation of doing BOTH, no, it can't be both this year.

Some of us have other important things to do, such as stay within the allocated "number of days Bryan is gone away from home" quota.

God I hate decision-making.

My head is spinning. I think I need a tranquilizer of some sort, like, pronto.

I just remembered that I need to lick my parents' ass so I can move out NEXT MONTH. Enough with procrastinating.

That's right. I need to work on my plan on how I'm gonna get my familia de horreur AKA parentals to say:

"Yes, Bryan, we won't have any hard feelings if you move out of the infamous birdcage. Spread your wings dear son and fly. Fly! Fly! Fly to your new pad."

With the Paris option, how am I are they going to cope?

My parentals will go straight to Asian hospital for cardiac arrest if I told them I want to move out in about 2-3 weeks AND go to Paris afterwards.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'll update you guys in a couple of hours. I'm 12 hours overdue for an article I'm writing. I need to finish it first before I start doing my cheesemax.

Be sure to visit later.

By the meantime, email me bitches! bryanboy@gmail.com.

Baboosh!

Saved by the Needle, Breaking News

Saved by the Needle

I passed my Tuesday drama with flying colors. I went to my aesthetician as planned, had an emergency facial, Wednesday arrived and my monstrous zit went from a volcano down to an ant mound.

I mean, come on, how can a zit possibly survive this?

I know what you're thinking - that tacky, cheap bracelet ain't mine. Belongs to my aesthetician. Here i am, red-faced, just right after the treatments.

Ugh.

Heck, I accomplished a ton of stuff that night - had a glycopeel/cleaning/extraction facial, a powerpeel session and an IPL (Intense Pulse Light) session on my face. I even wanted to get a lipo dissolve session on my arms but my damn doctor refused me this time, telling me I just had a couple back in May.

What I do though is a chin implant. I hate being double chinned. But I'm scared of surgery - although the idea of going under general sedation is appealling. VERY appealling.

I'm happy with myself now though.

Surgery can wait until I turn 75 years old and wear Oscar de La Renta.

Breaking News

As soon as I got up earlier this afternoon, the first thing I did was call my gal pal Tina D. I told her how my doctor just got back from Hong Kong last week and she was rubbing the word "sale" to my face while she's doing my IPL treatment.

Yeah - why didn't we fuckin went to Hong Kong this month, when everything is on fuckin sale, plus the new fall/winter stuff are now on the shelves?

And then I had a realization.

We. Must. Go. Shopping.

Shopping. Shopping. Shopping. Shopping. Shopping.

And while we're at it, we might as well go to fuckin Shanghai. or Beijing.

Even for a day.

Called our travel agent first thing earlier, booked flights, had to rush out and get a passport photo done for my visa application, gave it to the my travel agent and hopefully I'll get my passport back this Friday.

When am I leaving for Hong Kong? Sunday.

When am I going to China? Monday.

Sunday this week, Monday next week.

It's all too fast eh? But it's all good.

Desperate housewives, desperate times, desperate measures.

So desperate that I paid my credit cards off in full today to give me prime time worthy, ball-busting, shopping space on my plastic.Gotta love online banking.

If you're in Hong Kong or Shanghai and want to see me in my full glory, send me an email: bryanboy@gmail.com. 

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

Bryanboy loves people from Graz, Austria, Columbia, MD, Danbury, CT, Clarksville, TN and Cincinnati, OH.

#1 - Anyone fancy some cottaging action? Unfortunately, I'm not. This is how STDs spread fast. Someone I keep running into various toilets is into it. I even saw him earlier this evening, shaking that dick as he shivered right after peeing. Oh my eyes! Oh your head!

#2 -To my pretty, pretty, pretty, beautiful fucking beautiful guardian angel, thanks for the Mario Badescu referral. Will definitely buy it the next time I go out. BTW, is it true that girls lick chocolate off guys' bodies at the Cosmo Bachelor Bash? Oh. My. God. Oh. My. Fucking. God. I went to this page and it looks like the promo is open ONLY TO FEMALES. Someone please fund my sex change savings account quick - I'll take care of the wig and my clitoris-exposing vagina micro shorts.

#3 - I've switched from Marlboro Reds to Marlboro Lights to Dunhill Lights. Quite impressive eh?

#4 - To those damn folks at LuisaViaRoma. I ordered on Aug 3/4 and I still have not received my order. What the fuck is going on and have you lot even sent it? You already charged me and I paid it off already - if I don't get it before the 30th, expect a fuckin dispute from my bank!

#5 - I'm telling you, these boots are fuckin calling my name. It's now available in my size (40 or 41) at Eluxury.com for US$1,825 a pop.

They'd better have these boots in fuckin Dior in HK otherwise....

Screw it.

Enough ramblings for now. I have to catch up on beauty sleep. No wonder I'm getting zits. This bitch doesn't know when to rest.

Baboosh!

P.S. Send me love, or post comments, ok? Please validate my existence. Thank you!