Bryanboy.com - I'm so gay I sweat glitter!

Are gays born or are they "made"?

Are gays born or are they "made"?

[Update - 2:14PM - The Gay Bloggies website is now up so vote, vote, vote away!]

Some people are born naturals. I, for one, mastered the art of Vogueing when I was 2. The year was 1984.

Strike a pose!

House of Xtravaganza is that chu? House of Labeija is that chu? House of Revlon is that chu? House of Ninja is that chu? House of Infiniti is that chu? House of Diabolique is that chu?

Click here to read my latest entry on the Gay Bloggies website and don't forget give my entry a good ol' thumbs up. I need your vote! While you're at it, be sure to thumb down my competition's entries. Teach those mother fuckers that sissies like me rule the planet. With your help, I want to win this thing. It's Sunday and it shouldn't take more than a few seconds of your time to click click click and vote for me!

I love you all ;)

Guess the year

Guess the year

Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god.

Yes, I did take public transport back when I was younger. My god, look at those chubby cheeks. I look like I'm about to vomit cum after giving someone a blowjob. A kiss on the cheek and an oreo cookie awaits if you manage to guess the year this photo was taken. Many of you are wondering why I haven't camwhored recently considering the camera and I are best friends. Well, I'm currently growing my hair and it's not a pretty sight. The last time I had a haircut was first week of December. My hair is long but not THAT long. I really want to grow it though. I have grand plans.. coiffure and all. Please bear with me in this process and I promise you'll have pictures of me, me me and nothing but me SOON!

Love is a game.. drives me insane

Love is a game.. it drives me insane

Love is a game... it drives me insane. I feel no shame and won't take no blame.

Before I begin with my usual spiel, let me tell you that my "111" (one pill, one fruit cup and one glass of milk a day) diet didn't work for me. It was terrible. It fucked my head up completely. I spent the entire time popping sleeping pills because I got dizzy all the time from the lack of food. That's why I haven't updated my blog recently. Well, that and the bollocking typhoon too.

Here's one for the road...

Here's one for the road...

This photo is dedicated to all of you out there who stuck by me through thick and thin over the past two-and-a-half years of my 'blogging' career.

When it comes to the scary and icky factor, this photo bites the dust. It really is amazing how an innocent, harmless little boy like this one turned into the evil bitch troll that I am today.

I get the creeps every time I look at that photo... and I'm not joking!

You know you love me. All you have to do is tell me.

PS. Discuss this blog post on my Online Discussion Forum.

Hello Superstar!, Dazzling Daphne, Ageing Gracefully

Hello Superstar!

"When i woke up this photographer was humping me. It's like being a nympho... not nymhomaniac. What do you call those dead people? I can't remember. Huh? Necrophilia? I really was furious... I couldnt move!

Whatever it was in that drink... I was like a dead body... so it was like he was screwing a corpse! More twisted!

Wow... I never went back there."
-- Edie Sedgwick

Click HERE to watch a snippet from Ciao! Manhattan.

My newfound obsession with Edie Sedgwick, one of Andy Warhol's original superstars back in the 1960s, is starting to become unhealthy.

I must have spent no less than 20 hours in the past few days reading (and watching) everything there is to need about her.

I'm absolutely fascinated with her life; she's the classic poor little rich girl. Her fame was manufactured and she celebated her wealth on her sleeve, wearing all these fabulous clothes and jewelry until she was penniless. She also went from top to rock bottom in such a fast time... eventually dying at age 28 from a drug overdose.

I hope it's NOT gonna be my story. I have to admit that for some strange reason, all roads lead to that direction.

Minus the drugs, the wealth and the self-destruct button... haha!

I found another video on You Tube featuring a better video of her with Velvet Underground singing "After Hours" in the background.

Click here to watch that video.

I LOOOOOOOOVE EDIE SEDGWICK.

I love her sooo much that I even sang and recorded something for you guys...

My singing talent can seriously give that William Hung a run for his money - I CAN'T SING!!!!!!!!

"If you close the door, the night could last forever. Keep the sunshine out and say hello to never. All the people are dancing and they're havin such fun... I wish it could happen to me. But if you close the door, I'd never have to see the day again."

Click here to download the sound clip I made.

DON'T LISTEN TO IT UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN EDIE'S VIDEO, OTHERWISE YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE I'M COMING FROM.

Isn't my drag queen voice lovely? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dazzling Daphne

I went to the TV station early on Sunday eveing for another live interview. This time it's for a lifestyle-related show called "ANC Life" hosted by Daphne Osena-Paez.

One of my very good friends took pics of her tv screen. Thanks babe. I STILL OWE YOU DINNER (OR LUNCH) FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!

If you're not from the land of the brown, l'exotique and the natives (aka Las Islas Filipinas), the picture below will give you an idea on what she looks like. I stole it from Herword because my maid left my camera batteries in the car. I wanted to kick my ass for NOT being able to camwhore. UGH!

Daphne and her assistant took a couple of pictures so hopefully I'll get it soon.

YOU HAVE TO SEE HOW GORGEOUS SHE IS!

Her presence swallowed me alive as soon as I arrived at the dressing room - the fantastic little black number, those yummy pearls, the gorgeous shoes, the Louis Vuitton Speedy, the Cartier Santos and of course, the HAIR!!!!! She was effortless chic at its finest; I was GOBSMACKED.

What are the chances of me being...

EFFORTLESS?

CHIC?

Probably slim to none. Perhaps effortless cheap.

I'm already having rashes with the thought of me being associated with those two words.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

On the set, I couldn't help but stare at Daphne's legs. THEY ARE SOOOO SKINNY AND LONG!!!!

No, I'm not a lesbian.

Her legs are just sooooo long and skinny and nice and her shoes are gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!

Why aren't my legs like that?

SHIT.

I'M A MAN!

I keep on forgetting that.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

Anyway, I think I did well on my interview based on the positive feedback I got from some of my very good friends (I'm doubting myself for not doubting their honesty - do i make any sense?) and readers who happened to saw the interview.

I wish there are classes or courses that I can take to express myself articulately and eloquently in public. Getting tongue-tied all the time and not being able convert your thoughts into spoken words is sooo not funny.

Nevertheless.... I think I did good!!! YAY!

Practice makes perfect... 2 live TV interviews in 2 weeks... what a great learning experience!

Ageing Gracefully

I thought I'd take the yellow brick road once again down memory lane and look how I've changed over the years.

Judging from some of my photos from the past, the only thing that I can say at this point is....

MAN, I AM THE EPITOME OF THE PHRASE "AGEING GRACEFULLY".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The camera doesn't lie.

It's official: I get prettier the farther I run away from my birth certificate.

Heck, if this is an indicator of what my future will be, I can't wait to turn 75 and wear Oscar De La Renta.

Think how hideous I looked back then, how fabulous I am now and how gorgeous I'll be tomorrow.

Priceless.

I'll post some of my recent pictures so you won't get shocked by what you are about to see.

Ready?

SET!

GO!

These pictures were taken in Amanpulo Island during Gisele's hey day. All throughout that holiday, I was deluded into thinking my name is Gisele Bundchen with the help of my size 24 Earl Jeans and all.

Man, I just remembered a funny story about the Dolce & Gabbana swarovski belt (the one that launched a million knock-offs) in that picture.

A couple of months after that photo was taken, I flew to London for a vacation.

I went clubbing on my last night in Londres and I arrived at the airport late and completely off my tits.

I dropped the belt to the floor (no closures, they were held with a velcro strap) while boarding the plane.

I was sooo drunk at that time. The only thing I wanted to do is to go to my seat and sleep.

After the captain did his speech, he went on about some lady who might have dropped a belt...

A few seconds later, he said something like:

"LAST CALL. IF NOBODY CLAIMS THIS VERY EXPENSIVE LOOKING **WOMEN'S** WITH HEAPS OF CRYSTALS, I'M GIVING IT TO MY WIFE"

Everyone on the plane laughed.

I looked at my waist and realized holy shit, my belt's gone missing!

You should have seen the look on my face as I gulped my gin tonic.

I didn't ask for my belt. I was soo embarassed to ask for it cause the captain said it's a women's belt.

That's when I realized, shit, I have pride!

Honestly speaking, these days, give me designer goods anytime and I'll throw my pride down the river.

Moving on...

One of the benefits of being skinny? A fantastic jawline.

Sadly, that jawline is GONE. GONE, GONE, GONE, GONE, GONE.

This picture is just plain ugly. I'm at a loss on what to say.

This is me having a Zoolander moment in Bali, Indonesia 5 years ago. This photo was taken at friggin 9 in the morning on my way to Ubud Market. Oh the memories.... I was too drunk on the photo.

THIS IS THINSPIRATION. HOW I MISS THOSE DAYS WHEN I WAS SKELETAL.

IT'S A SHAME MY MEMBERSHIP EXPIRED WITH ANOREXICS ANONYMOUS. THE MOTHER FUCKERS AT ANA EXPELLED ME AS SOON AS HIT 80 POUNDS.

Yep, even my US$7,000 Gucci python pants, which is size 38, was fuckin BAGGY on me. THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN 6 FUCKIN YEARS AGO!!!!

I got a ton of mileage from those pants.

I wore them fucking everywhere.

Even to Trafalgar Square, just to be covered with pigeon shit.

I guess I used to smile lots back when I was younger.

This photo was taken about 7 or 8 years ago at a bus stop in Reykjavik.

ENOUGH OF THIS FUGLY NONSENSE.

ERASE ERASE ERASE ERASE ERASE.

PURGE, PURGE, PURGE, PURGE, PURGE.

The ugly duckling turned into a swan indeed.

Touch my bum... this is life!

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Bintulu, Sarawak Malaysia, Bod, Norway, Stillwater, OK, Quincy, MA, Zegvelderbroek, Netherlands, Binghamton, NY, Huddinge, Sweden, San Francisco, CA, Elsternwick, VIC Australia, Richmond Hill, ONT Canada, Neset, Norway, Madison, WI, De Valk, Netherlands, London, ONT Canada and of course, all the gorgeous boys and girls in Segeltorp, Sweden. I LOVE YOU ALL. I REALLY DO!

#2 - Flak makes the world go round.

Missy from Miami, FL emailed me and asked what kind of flak I get on a day-to-day basis. Here's a random sampling.

FYI, This is PETE BURNS. I think he's actually better-looking than me. Non?

#3 - I almost got a cardiac arrest when I opened my inbox earlier looking at this, courtesy of KS from Malaysia who recently went to Hong Kong. This is probably the BIGGEST Louis Vuitton bag in the world.

LONG LIVE CAPITALISM AND CONSPICUOUS CONSUMPTION.

I **LOVE*** THE BRYANBOY POSE.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

#4 - BRYANBOY LOVES THAOVU and the entire Vietnamese community in the United States of George W. Bush.

As always, you know where to send pictures of your unconditional love. Email me you lazy bitches: bryanboy@gmail.com.

Whew!

I think that's it for now.

You all know where to contact me. SMS +63-915-785-1492 if you're gorgeous, generous and well-hung like a stallion.

Baboosh!

Offtopic, Summer is Coming, Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

Offtopic.com

There goes my US$4.95.

I have to tell you people... I lurrrrrrrrrrrrve those folks at that forum Offtopic.com. The people there have been talking about me non-stop. Some guy even started a thread saying I'm probably the gayest person in Myspace (see my myspace profile).

One guy then asked the group whether the person below is me or not... and then some minimum-waging sweetheart showed off his photoshop skills and superimposed my blowjob pic there.

I love it! HI-FUCKING-LARIOUS. Thanks for making my day. Money well-spent. :)

Summer is Coming

Summer is fast approaching in the third world. Expect the battle of the beautiful bodies and the cellulite freaks in 2 months.

As always, boys have it all on the easy side. All they need to do is to ditch that beer, inject some steroids and start working out at the nearest gym.

Girls have it tough though.

I swear to god, I am so going to have this picture blown up to a posterific proportions and post it in front of my fridge.

I don't care what one has to do to get that perfect body. I'm taking up bulimia classes first thing Monday morning and I promise I'm gonna take pictures of my first puke.

Even Lindsay Lohan admitted to drug abuse and purging. You go girl! Show these fat mother fuckers that the only way to lose unwanted pounds is by channeling Kate Moss and purging out our inner Fiona Apples.

No, I'm not surprised.

 

That lucky Nicole bitch has it all - the visible rib cage, the flat stomach, the gorgeous pelvic bones, lanky arms, the visble leg gap... everything a girl needs to look perfect on the beach.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

1. Bryanboy loves people from Bordeaux, France, Atlanta, GA, King of Prussia, PA, Cleveland, OH, Dreieich, Germany, Leaside, ONT Canada, Desert Hot Springs, CA, Madison, WI, Wakarusa, IN, Sykesville, MD, Geneva, Switzerland, Vienna, Austria, Ong Lee Village, Singapore, Dublin, Ireland and of course, my homies in La Habra, California. Bryanboy loves y'all! Identify yourselves bitches by posting a comment on my blog.

2. Those Etnies shoes are nasty. Why get Etnies when you can get Etro. I want these damn sneakers. I bought a pair of these at Vivre.com for US$236.99 (formerly US$475). Aren't they gorgeous?

3. Phoebe Philo resigned from Chloe (Vogue UK)

4. Where the hell can I get the new Tom Ford sunglasses?

5. I drink champagne in the morning, I drink champagne in the afternoon. I drink champagne in the bubble bath, I drink champagne in my dressing room. Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne!

6. Some of the items stolen from me last year: Chanel sunglasses (2), various YSL and Chanel cosmetics, Lalique ring, Fendi squirrel key chain, travellers cheques, Dior watch, Piaget watch, Dolce & Gabbana flip flops, Marni necklace. I hope you're having a ball with my stuff whoever you are. Just because I have a carefree attitude with my shit (i.e. I don't store them properly or I just leave them anywhere) it doesn't mean you people can take advantage of my vulnerability. Fuckin thieves.

7. Buy that Hotel Costes 8 CD. I bought it a couple of months ago and I'm still listening to it religiously.

8. The folks at the Valet Shop of Manila Shangri-la hotel need a good spanking. I called to ask what time they close and the lady told me they are open until 9PM. I got there at 8PM on Friday (in spite of having a bad cold and slight fever) and the shop was closed. The concierge said they close at 7PM not 9. Totally wasted my time.

9. More love from all over the world. By now you should know that true love comes in the form of photographs. NO PHOTOSHOPPED photos silvous plait. Email me prima facie evidence of your unconditional love at bryanboy@gmail.com. Be fucking creative god dammit. Go to your local fire station and get those firefighters hold that I LOVE BRYANBOY sign. Make them sweaty and get them naked.

I love these girls...  kisses, hugs and chanel bags for you two.

10. I haven't down a "Bryanboy Life Archives" tidbit in a long time. For those of you who are new to this site, "Bryanboy Life Archives" is where I take out skeletons from my colourful and not-so-closeted past.

This photo was taken in London 6 years ago, back when I was barely legal. I used to smile back then. Oh how I miss those days.

For more bits from the archives, click here, here, here and here.

11. Keep those text messages coming. Your messages of love and hate means a lot to a lonely mother fucker such as myself.

Thought I'd let y'all know that I'm an equal opportunity blogger.

I don't blog for a certain crowd. I don't blog for a certain class. Hell, I don't even blog for any type of people.

I only blog for... MYSELF!

I think that's it. It's early Sunday morning (3:19PM) and I'm sick again. Damn cold and cough. I'm supposed to go out and have a ball. Fuck it, I'm sooo bored.

Rescue me from boredom. Entertain me mother fuckers. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com. SMS +63-195-785-1492.

Baboosh.

The ugly duckling evolved to a swan

I just looooove going thru some of my old stuff. I was bored out of my mind while cleaning my room -- the only place in the house where household help are banned -- not that I've got anything to hide -- trust me, it's just not viable to have vibrators, handcuffs and porn in this house. Everything will always be discovered by someone.

You think you've got skeletons in your closet? If you've got skeletons, I've got cadavers in my wardrobe. Yes. Cadavers. No amount of dead bones can beat the hell out of rotten, flesh-infested cadavers. My past is THAT bad.

It's a shame I wasn't born in the 70's, I would've spent my teenage years in the colourful 80's. Think neon bangles, asymetrical tops and high hair. Oh yes. The higher the hair the closer to god. But alas, the 80's brought me nothing but tacky grief.

Anyhoo, I thought I'd share a couple of pictures. Blast from the past they say.

Exhibit A

Picture of me on my 6th grade graduation. Look at how I appear to be winking in front of the camera. Gross, isn't it? I look like I got a stroke or something. At 12.

Exhibit B

A picture of an anorexic 17 or 18 year old me swinging an extra large Hermes handbag -- actually -- this ain't a handbag, this is fuckin luggage. Take note of the hair. It's a wig that belongs to one of my friends who have leukemia when I visited her in a hotel. Yeah, leukemia... or whatever disease it is that makes your hair fall off when you get chemotherapy. Look at those arms. My god, I miss them. You can't really get any skinnier than that. I think I was like 85 pounds or something. Click the thumbnails for 3 other wannabe trannie whore pics.

Man I looked like a cheap trash whore.

Exhibit C

Picture of me and my best friend Tony 2-3 years ago in Amanpulo. My cheeks are soo chubby and my mouth looks like it's gonna spit/puke any second. Ya think being a chav is a 2004 thing? He's been a chav before chavs were born in this planet. Ya can't get any chavvier than someone who was born from Liverpool. It took me a good 3 whole days of 8-hour sunbathing to achieve that tan whereas he ended up looking like a lobster.

Speaking of Tony, whom I owe a phone call this week, the poor guy is flying to New York from London today for 6 weeks. Like everyone else in this world (except me), he's venturing out to the big apple to find a better job. He quit his job last year because he's just utterly sick of London. According to him, he'll spent the next 6 weeks looking for a job in the music industry... and a company who can sponsor him a visa. If he's lucky, good. If not, he'll go back to London and live his life. I told him a few weeks ago that getting a US Working Visa is like asking for the moon to turn blue. I mean, with all the illegal immigrant boat people all over the world, I have the impression getting a working visa is hard. I just wish him luck though.

Anyway, I'm off. My mom's throwing one of her dinner parties with her stanky friends and I have to take a shower. I smell like a goat already and it ain't funny.

Hugs and kisses.