Dreamhost is DOWN
It appears that my fucking webhost provider, Dreamhost, is currently experiencing some outage so some of the graphics and images on this website may not show up. I apologize for the inconvenience and I hope that you visit my site again soon.
THOSE FUCKING ASSHOLES AT DREAMHOST SHOULD DIE!
By the meantime, take a look at eLuxury’s latest offerings…
… or apply for a (first-year FREE) American Express card. I bet you a million dollars you’ll be approved. I PROMSE!
Or… you can also join eBay, where you can buy or sell all sorts of shit…
… such as designers bags that you can borrow (yes, borrow!) from Bag Borrow or Steal
… and DVDs from Netflix!
Failing that, let’s all take up Pilates!
A big thank you to some of my sponsors. Please support them because they’re the ones who made me planet earth’s favourite third world fag.
Email me and tell me you love me. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
I love you all!
You’re invited to Lance Bass’ Coming Out Party!
Big shout out to former N’Sync band member Lance Bass for keeping the faggotry alive and finally admitting he likes to suck cock and get fucked in his poop chute! You go gurlfriend — recruit, recruit, recruit! Hahahahahahah!
More after the jump.
Here’s one for the road…
This photo is dedicated to all of you out there who stuck by me through thick and thin over the past two-and-a-half years of my ‘blogging’ career.
When it comes to the scary and icky factor, this photo bites the dust. It really is amazing how an innocent, harmless little boy like this one turned into the evil bitch troll that I am today.
I get the creeps every time I look at that photo… and I’m not joking!
You know you love me. All you have to do is tell me.
Sweaty Pits? FAAAAAABULOUS!
They’re queer and they’re here. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’s Fantastic Fab Five are here in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives!!!!
Photo credit: TheFashPack
Queer Eye for the Sweaty Betty Tip: it doesn’t hurt to wear a plain white or black tee under your shirt to prevent sweatmarks from appearing on your pit area. Undershirts act as a barrier.
I guess sweaty pits happen to the best of us. Shit, I’m the PRINCESS OF SWEATY BETTIES. That’s why I hate walking, crowded places and the heat. Remember this blog entry? Remember this embarassing photo of me and my sweaty pit (after prancing around the children’s playground) and one of my readers came up to me, etc. Sooooo embarassing. Hahahahahahah! Whatever. The good thing is, I can laugh about it now.
I love these guys though, sweaty pits or not! Their contributions in keeping the faggotry alive are amazing.
I was planning go to their book signing today but my local bookstore ran out of books. Oh well! =)
You know what I really miss?
Someone stole my childhood and I wish I could get it back.
Brighton, UK 2001
Why do I have this weird bollocking feeling inside me recently? In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been writing less and less. Instead, I’ve been extremely selective on what I’m saying and I found myself posting more and more photos, useless tripe and other bullcrap.
I used to be able to say anything that I want, air out my grievances, bitch, whine and whinge about people, experiences and situations but for some strange reason, it feels as if someone put a fucking gag order on me and now I have to fucking censor myself all the fucking time.
I MISS MY FREEDOM!
Fuck each and every one of you. The bollocking stops here and I’m gonna reclaim my old self back.
I should be able to say what I want and when I want it. Afterall, this is *MY* blog and you’re just a fuckin reader. You can always fuck off where the sun doesn’t shine *IF* you have problems because NOBODY’S GOT A FUCKIN SHOTGUN POINTED TO YOUR SCROTUM/LABIA/RECTUM TELLING YOU TO READ MY WEBSITE. I say live and let live… and don’t bother coming back if you got problems with what I have to say. You must be a masochist if you have to come back over and over again. Besides, none of my other 161,000+ (June 2006) readers are interested about you.
I repeat. I *should* be able to say what I want.
I’m sure you’re all gonna agree with me. Yes?
Even Bitchboy of the Washington Blade, who gave my little narcissistic shrine a mention (thanks doll) will agree with me.
PPSS. Alice from Myspace you can fuck off my case now. I’ll see you in hell. I suggest that you borrow your dad’s revolver, point it to your eyesockets and shoot em till the sheep cry bah-bah-bah-lah-lah-lah.
I found this mini polaroid late last night while cleaning my room. If memory serves me right, this photo was taken in a bar called "Freedom" in London, UK back in 2001. It’s funny how I used to weigh around 90 pounds back then but I already have a gut the size of Canada. But those arms… those emaciated arms… ‘Cin Cin’ sequined tank top and jeans by Dolce & Gabbana. Those were the days… hahahaha! I can’t, for the life of god, remember, who made the brown pony skin bag though…
Coming up… Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax.
I love you all! Email email@example.com SMS +63.915.785.1492 and tell me you love me.
I believe in REINCARNATION!!
You read that right maggots! What I am about to tell you is really spooky.
One of my readers recently emailed me saying he visited his friend last week and found a picture of his friend’s mother on the wall.
The above photo was taken in 1933 somewhere in Mission Beach, North Queensland, Australia. Her name is Tippy and she’s Estonian.
Is that me in my previous life?
Reason #4,710 to visit Sweden: Bosnian Guys
Meet Adnan Osmanovic. A cutie Bosnian guy in Sweden.
I can’t get enough of Monkeys. I think it’s my obsession du jour. Isn’t he hot? I’d kill to have his "Lahme" up my bum. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Shit, I don’t even know where the fuck Bosnia is but whatever.
I obviously have some explaining to do…
… and you too. For the life of god, is it really a RACIST thing for calling a man, who happens to be someone of a darker skin, a "monkey", simply because he looks like a monkey? Skin color is irrelevant cause there are a lot of other people out there who look like monkeys. In fact, even Mariah Carey once said that there’s this Filipina singer who also looks like a monkey.
Monkey Schmonkey. Whatever.
I WOILL NEVER APOLOGIZE for thinking/saying he kinda looks like a monkey.
OK… maybe I will, on three conditions:
Shit, he even collaborated with NIGO for a label called Bathing Ape/BAPE!
Some of you may need to get a life.
It’s funny cause the "correlation" and "similarities" between a "black man" and "monkeys" NEVER came across my mind until you people pointed it out.
Perhaps YOU’RE THE ONE WHO HAVE RACIST THOUGHTS, not me.
These baseless accusations of me being racist are ludicrous, preposterous and absurd.
I FUCKING LOVE NAOMI CAMPBELL AND LIYA KEBEDE FOR GOD’S SAKE!
I even bought 5 copies of the Liya Kebede for Vogue cause it’s been ages since they last featured a model on the cover at that time!
I’m an equal opportunity lover. Promise. I’ll suck the cock of anyone with a pulse provided they’re legal.
Shit, I love everyone. Black, white, brown, albino, gingers, yellow, latinos, arabs, everyone! Even extraterrestrial creatures like me!
Saucer of milk please, maggots!
Now go fuck yourselves.
Almost naked at Brighton Beach, Brighton, UK 2001
Or better yet, fuck me cause I haven’t had sex in so long.
God I love my arms back in the dark ages. Take note how there are many, many razor-sharp edges on my body. My arms and my waist can give Nicole Richie a run for Lionel’s credit card.
I hate my hair though. Ugh. Lion hair. Hideous. Just hideous!
I love you all! Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
PPSS. I’m really not a racist. Promise! In fact, I’ve slept with a black guy before, in London, when I was 17. He was a cab driver and he was gorgeous as fuck. I had to sit on the front because I wanted some action and boy he was lovely.