Oh my god!!!! Oh my fucking god!!!! I think I caught my parents fucking. It’s 6:03AM, I just went to my dad’s room because I want to ask him something and then when I opened the door, I saw my mom cover herself up really quickly with the duvet and my dad jumped or whatever. I didn’t see anything (THANK GOD ALLELUJAH) other than 2 old people who got themselves into a panic.
Jesus mother of god what is the world coming to? Oh and btw, I’m gonna make the font small because I know my parents read my blog from time to time. I’ve got my fingers crossed that they won’t see this entry. Please do not mention it at all. Ugh…. I’m emotionally scarred for life!
It’s just a plastic garment bag.
No, there aren’t any signs of my dream Chanel jacket. YET.
Besides, I assume they come in better packaging, don’t you agree? *wink*
I know. I know.
I’m comtemplating of going back to school/enrolling myself in a university. I spent the past 2 days researching all sorts of bullshit.
I’ll get over it. Give me some time.
Gawd. I can’t believe I spent 5 hours on this shit. I was dead bored earlier and all I did was troll around one of my favourite forums online and rate my minions’ pictures! Dozens upon dozens upon dozens of them. I completely lost track of time. It’s fucking 9:02AM and I’ve been up all night! I’ll do this post and I’ll go straight to bed.
This is sooo wrong.
Here’s one for the camera. Trust me, it was the other way around when it came to the bedroom. Hahaha! Ever been fucked by an anorexic midget with a cock wayyyy bigger than yours? That’s the story of my life. I’m kidding.
Mauricio: Is your friend still with you? There’s too much estrogen when you get together.
Me: I need a REAL man. Or someone who is at least 6ft.
Mauricio: with REAL money
Me: and have some sort of body hair. Just a teeny tiny bit.
Me: a dominant masculine man. that’s what i need.
Mauricio: Dodi Al Fayed.
Is it over yet?
7.35AM, sleepless in the third world. Everyone in this household is asleep and I’m the only one wide-awake. Is Christmas over yet? If you haven’t noticed, I tried my best avoiding the word "Christmas" in the past few weeks. I thought I had it bad last year for spending Christmas ALONE in Paris (ok, it wasn’t that bad cause I had sex at an alleyway in Marais with a random stranger) but no, this year is probably the worst Christmas EVER.
There’s something in the air that’s just not… right.
Santa should die.
Who is this old man and what on earth is he doing in my shithole? Deport deport deport. I hope Santa gets hit by a coke truck.
Me: "OMG let’s get our pictures taken!"
Me: "Look at all those kids sitting on Santa’s lap. I wanna sit on somebody else’s lap too!"
*2 minutes later*
Santa: "Boys, stand behind me, you’re
too old not allowed to sit on my lap!"
Me: "Don’t be full of yourself you homophobic piece of shit. I’d rather jump off a bridge than let a child molester fondle me."
Video coming soon…
Can you tell I’m on a roll? HAHAHA! This is what happens if I don’t ‘blog’ properly for 2 weeks…