Coming Soon: America’s Next Top Sex Offender
50 states, 3.8 million square smiles, over 2 million felons (figure not accurate but who gives a shit? Felons are hot!). Who is America’s Next Top Sex Offender? Find out soon…
I’m dying. I’ve ran out of cigarettes. Last time I had a smoke was about 6 hours ago. It’s 11:29PM here, everyone is sleeping including the maids, the driver is gone, our neighbour next door doesn’t smoke, the shop is about 2 kilometers away from my house and I’m not gonna walk at this time of the night, in the dark. Don’t ask me to drive — I don’t know how. I’m soo desperate!!!!!! I just can’t function at all.
I can’t wake up the maids cause they have to be up by 5AM (yes, they’re human and they sleep too).
This is the worst feeling ever. I suppose I could put on some gold lycra leggings, a silver sequined top and walk the dog? No?
SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! I NEED MY DUNHILL LIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!
Separated at birth.
Most of you (90% of my readers to be precise) probably won’t understand what I’m talking about so I’m leaving this one out to my fellow countrymen.
I’m so glad the Manny Pacquiao fever is over. Can you imagine? There was a time when this man monopolized the entire country for what? For winning a few medals and competitions here and there for boxing. I swear to god, he sent the entire third world to a halt, got all these corporate endorsements and rumors went flying that he’s gonna be running for politics. A lot of Filipinos kissed his ass because of all the publicity he got — politicians and pathetic mother fuckers clung to him like leeches on super glue. He was also labelled as some sort of a "hero" (or a "god") and monuments were literally erected to his honor. Bitch please. It’s one thing to recognize someone for his talents but a lot of people here went above and beyond the royal treatment and worshipped him like god. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and I’m proud that he’s able to win all these boxing matches yaddi yaddi yadda but everything was just a little too extreme. I love the blogger who called him a monkey. Three cheers for freedom of speech. I feel sorry for the young girl though. She got all these death threats from people and now her website is down. I think she vanished from the face of the planet. Anyway, I kept my silence throughout all this time and when I saw this photo on the paper last week, I just knew I had to post it here.
Buyer Beware: Do not host with MidPhase
Run by no other than Zak (Zachary) Boca and Dan Ushman, MIDPHASE is the WORST WEBHOSTING company I have ever encountered in my entire life. I repeat. Do *NOT*, under any circumstances, buy a webhosting account with MidPhase. Even my gurlfriend Michael K. of Dlisted.com will agree with me on this one.
I know this blog entry doesn’t fit my usual verbal diarrhea about fashion, homosexual sex, substance abuse and eating disorders but whatever. Webhosting drama after the jump!
2468 Diet: We want this NOW!
Que horror! Tonight, my friends, I realized I’ve hit rock-bottom… a record
[BTW, BEFORE WE CONTINUE ANY FURTHER I'VE BEEN RECEIVING REPORTS THAT MY PAGE IS FUCKED UP/OUT OF ALIGNMENT WHATEVER. IS IT TRUE??? GIVE ME A SHOUT OUT IF YOU'RE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, MMMKAY????]
Army Reserve Spc. Patrick Rogalin
Don’t you just feel sorry for this son of a bitch?
No, not because he’s fugly, silly.
The mothership is calling me.
I really want to cry. I just got invited to a real, real ohmylordexclusivehelpme (as in once in a lifetime opportunity) dinner tomorrow night and I *REALLY* don’t have anything to wear.
I have exactly 24 hours. Can I go in my birthday suit with my pubic hair shaved into an interlocking CC logo or should I stay at home and cry?
I have a feeling it’s gonna be the latter.
Tom Ford God help me.
I’ve been working on this super lengthy "investigative" piece that involves faggots for quite some time now and I’m one click away from publishing it. There’s a shitload of people involved and everything that happened is real & factual (I saved proof and evidence, such as conversations, pictures of genitals etc.) The thing is, I am soo scared and I’m positive I’ll get myself into trouble.
I’m having doubts whether I should publish it though. There’s a chance that I’ll be needing a lawyer AND 20 bodyguards to protect me as soon as it goes out. It’s sooo scandalous. For real. The gay community will HATE ME even more!!!!! Hahahaha! I’m 20000% sure that everyone left and right, from Acapulco to Zaire, will talk (or laugh) about it and my life will change forever. I really, really enjoy the freedom that I have at the moment and the idea of hiding somewhere where nobody knows me is something I don’t want to do. For the record, the Philippines is the 2nd most dangerous country when it comes to people in the media, next to Iraq. Not that I’m a member of the media or anything but people really get killed here.
Anyway, yes, the whole world loves me and all that bullcrap but there’s nothing the world can do when it comes to solving problems in the third world. Unless there’s a fairy godfather out there who is willing to provide me the services of such people FOR FREE, I don’t think I’m gonna post it on my site. It’s really sad though because I’ve put sooo much time, dedication, effort and research… and a lot of people might learn something from it.
I think I’ll save it as a "draft" for now. God I hate self-censorship.
P.S. Send me an SMS +63.915.785.1492. I’m on my way to McDonald’s. Sundays are binge days. I’m gonna treat myself a happy meal.