Bryanboy.com - Fashion Blogger
11:43 am

Mr. Right, Mr. Maybe, Mr. Good Enough.

12/07/2008, Social Awareness

Mr. Right, Mr. Maybe, Mr. Good Enough.

Ladies and gentlegays, here’s something for you to answer. No buts, ifs and definitely no exceptions. If you are a straight male, kindly replace all the male bits with female bits.

mr right, mr maybe, mr good enough

Answers on a postcard!

[pinit]
2:11 am

People in Need

30/08/2007, Social Awareness

People in Need

Oh hello there. I love Dutch people! Here’s the latest rendition of my infamous bag pose (which I found while bloghopping) courtesy of Mensen in Nood (People in Need), a charity organization based in the Netherlands.

Swedish fashion photographer Carl Stolz (yep, Sweden again) took this photo somewhere in Africa.

Mensen in Nood

I can’t even tell whether that person is a man or a woman (are those ribs or tits) but her dress reminds me of Lanvin, complete with the black patent leather belt, no? It does make you think — how many people can your fake white Marc Jacobs bag feed for a day? A month? An entire year? I’m quite surprised they used a €32 bag when most bags these days are at least in the US$2,000 range. Well, the designer ones anyway.

SkeleI don’t know about you but they should’ve gone straight to me and I would’ve gladly posed for charity for free because I’m a charity case.

And I’m thinner.

Well, I was.

Now I’m fat with lots of stretch marks. HAHAA

PS. Thanks Zoe!
PPSS. Click here to donate to The Hunger Site because there are people starving somewhere in the world (they deserve food more than you do) and the last thing you want to happen is to get fat. JK.

[pinit]
9:29 pm

Protected: Public Service Announcement: Yes, I know. The glamour of it all.

09/07/2007, Social Awareness

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7:16 pm

Community Service: Post Office, Homophobic Old Men

15/08/2006, Social Awareness

Community Service

I’m gonna dedicate this post to the cesspit of the third world I call home, aka the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives. God knows the last time I offered my services to the community but here goes.

#1 – What’s up with the Philippine Postal System? My ever so fabulous best friend/silent right hand Miss Eunice, sent another batch of 100 "I *heart* Bryanboy" sticker packets to people all over the world earlier this afternoon and the damn counter bitch at the Alabang Post Office didn’t issue a receipt! This is the 2nd time it happened. Fuck me bad once, shame on you, fuck me bad twice shame on the government!

According to Miss Eunice, she gave all the envelopes to the counter bitch, who then weighed each and every one of them before letting it pass through the franking machine. The postal lady gave Miss Eunice a total figure, which she obviously paid.

Anyway, I specifically told Eunice to ASK FOR A RECEIPT this time because she didn’t get one the last time. I know postage costs vary depending on the destination and the weight of each envelope. I have absolutely NO idea how the receipt system works at Post Office but I know in the USA, everything is computerized and you get a receipt with EACH item listed, destinations, amounts and all.

When the lady gave Miss Eunice her change, Eunice asked the counter bitch for a receipt. The lady then told her "we don’t issue receipts."

CONTINUE READING

[pinit]
2:39 am

All bruised up on a Sunday night

24/07/2006, Social Awareness

All bruised up on a Sunday night

Finally! I can’t even remember the last time I posted a picture of myself on this website. A lot of you are worried because I haven’t camwhored recently but I’ve got nothing and no one else to blame other than myself. I’ve been channelling domestic goddess Martha Stewart because of my recent lipo and today is the first day I managed to get out of the house. I met up with a writer who interviewed me for a local magazine and I also met up a friend for a little chat/dinner.

I hereby present you my first public appearance after my recent "uhhhperation".

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Both my arms are all swollen and bruised up but it’s all good. You should know by now that I don’t mind doing a little bit of sacrifice here and there… all in the name of vanity.

CONTINUE READING

[pinit]
10:45 pm

Checkpoint: Stopped by the Police, Jakob went to the prom and took his granny with him!

12/06/2006, Current Affairs, Press Coverage, Social Awareness

Checkpoint: Stopped by the Police

Oh my god. We got stopped by the cops on our way home last night and boy it was hilarious.

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"Good evening young ladies. Sorry for the inconvenience, will you please turn your lights on?"

First things first, I would like to greet all my countrymen, anyone who's got a snot-colored passport (like I do) from the land of the brown, l'exotique and the natives, the cesspit of the third world aka Las Islas Fililpnas, a HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

061206_philippines
Philippine flags photo credit: Shaolintiger.com

Tang ina ninyo lahat mga hampaslupa itayo ang bandera ng Pilipinas!!! Hoy mga bakla ako ang pinakamaganda sa inyong lahat hahahahahahahahaha! Echos!

CONTINUE READING

[pinit]
5:28 am

Moscow Needs Some Faggotry. Big Time., Meet Dhani Lennevald, Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax, LOTS OF LOVE From Around the World

29/05/2006, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Fashion, Moscow, Random Cheesemax, Social Awareness, St. Petersburg, Travel

Moscow Needs Some Faggotry. Big Time.

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I’m sure you’ve heard the news on how Moscow’s first ever gay pride got trashed by a ton of nationalists, skinheads, religious fanatics and such. Thanks to Moscow’s homophobic mayor Yuri Luzhkov (who put a ban on the event), Russian fags and queers were deprived of such celebration… and some of them even got beaten up.

CONTINUE READING

[pinit]
6:11 pm

Protected: Princess Di Would Be Sooo Proud of Me

12/05/2006, Social Awareness

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6:57 pm

Work itttt! Exercise!, Today’s Obligatory Paparazzi Shot, 5 Seconds of TV Air Time, Lovely Europeans

07/05/2006, Clubbing, Fan Art, Fans, Press Coverage, Social Awareness

050706_embaWork ittttt! Exercise!

After approximately 3 weeks of channeling domestic goddess Martha Stewart, I finally put my best dancing shoes on and went to the city yesterday evening to infuse some nightlife into my system. I’m seriously surprised how I managed to stay indoors in the past couple of weeks. Shit, I’ve been hibernating in my own little world filled with plaid aprons, white carnations and yellow daisies.

Any child of MY age SHOULD BE out there indulging in crime, mischief and scandals… or get themselves drunk till they pass out and vomit whatever they ate during the day. They should also do hard drugs, enjoy unsafe sex with multiple partners until they get sperminated or preggers and of course, catch a sexually transmitted disease that can be sorted out by a bunch of antibiotics or lice shampoo. Afterall, life is too short not to experience such hell-worthy sins.

Let’s face it, it’s a waste of youth to stay indoors on a Saturday night, especially if you’re in your late teens with raging hormones (like me). I’ve been ITCHING to expose myself to the toxicity of bars, booze and clubs so I decided to do just that.

I left the house at 10:30PM. On my way to a friend’s house, REALITY knocked on my car window while we’re waiting for the stoplight to turn green: the REAL and SAD face of the "FAUX-bulous" third world I live in.

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Why is there a young boy, probably younger than 10 years old, selling flowers on the streets late at night when he should be at home asleep?

And there I was… all comfortable in my fully-airconditioned crappy car, all dolled up and decked in ridiculous outfits + accessories that can pretty much feed this child for a year and even send him to a good school.

It really made me think for a second and trust me, this doesn’t happen VERY OFTEN considering I’m the most selfish and materialistic son of a bitch you’ll probably ever come across.

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I kinda felt guilty about my sins so I gave the kid a bag of chips and a bottle of gatorade that I had in my car.

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He smiled and thanked me. I asked if I can take a photo, he said yes. I thanked him and I closed the window.

I tried to delete, delete, delete, abort, abort, abort, whatever just happened from my head. It wasn’t the right time to think about charity and world peace. My mission for the night is to have fun and paint the town periwinkle. The most important thing in the world at that moment is the fact that I’m so fucking beautiful and that was that.

050706_marikoAnyway, I picked up my friend at her place. I also asked my driver to stop by at the cash machine so I can take out some cash. Usually I don’t take out that much since everywhere I go takes credit cards – booze, food, botles of champagne, drug dealers, hired hitmen, shit, even prostitutes these days take credit cards… all it takes is one swipe on their ass cheeks and they’re yours for the night.

So yeah, US$20 is enough for the night to cover highway toll-fees, fast food take out, tips, my driver’s fee, etc.

After entering my pin number, the machine asked how much cash I wanted to take out.

Out of nowhere, I had mental images and flashbacks of the street child’s face. The thought of using my visa card to pay for a night’s worth of debauchery gave me a weird feeling at the pit of my stomach. Gone are the days where I’d easily and effortlessly throw my plastic to the air and rack up a 6-foot long bar tab in 6pt Arial font.

I figured I’m gonna ditch the visa for once and pay in cash the entire night so I don’t go overboard. Afterall, there are children starving on the streets. I entered P3,000, which is about US$60.

Our first stop was this bar called "Nuvo" where we spent quality time chatting. I had a gin tonic and 3 frozen margaritas. It was refreshing indeed.

We then went to my usual haunt, La Embajada. They recently got renovated and it’s the first time I went there after their renovation. They now have 2 VIP areas, which is a good thing.

I thought I’d do the infamous Bryanboy pose. Afterall, it was at La Embajada where I gave birth to that pose.

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There weren’t a lot of familiar faces so it was fun to let my hair down for a change, get all sweaty and wrecked.

It’s refreshing to ditch the glitz, the glamour, the pretension and just dance, dance, dance and sweat like a fuckin rapist!

A fan from Australia even approached me and said hi. See, I’m nice and I don’t bite. I got a photo of us taken. Shit, I probably scared the living hell out of her. HAHAHHA. Sorry babes!

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Man, it’s just like the good ol’ days when me and my sister would go to the club, booze our guts out,  dance like there’s no such thing as tomorrow.

I must have lost 5 pounds from all that dancing! To hell with it, I had a complete body workout.

This guy is a good DJ. For the life of god I can’t remember his name and I’ve seen him many, many times.

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Sunglasses by Gucci, bracelet from Hermès, cropped hoodie by Norma Kamali for Everlast, tank top by Fake London, jeans by Fake London, shoes by Dior Homme, Ursula Elise bag from Marc Jacobs collection.

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The Marc Jacobs bag is available at all Marc Jacobs boutiques worldwide, Neiman Marcus, Saks, Bergdorf and eLuxury (US$1,050) in the USA.

Marc Jacobs Collection Gift With Purchase

We left the club at around 3:30AM. I dropped my friend home then I stopped by at McDonald’s for a post-clubbing snack. I orderedd chicken nuggets, 2 large fries, a double cheeseburger, a big mac and a large coke.

And yes bitches, I ate them all. There goes my 5 pounds eh?

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Today’s Obligatory Paparazzi Shot

Due to high demand from my readers, I am now gonna post an "obligatory paparazzi shot" going on forward. Many of you have emailed telling me you enjoy these shots so I’ll try to do this often.

Isn’t it my cropped hoodie sooo Muslim chic? Perhaps I should make a trend out of the burka. Sooo sexy!

050706_obligatory

5 SECONDS OF TV AIR TIME

Guess who got 5 seconds of TV Air Time in San Diego, California?

I’d like to give a big shout out to Peter from San Diego. In his own words, "thousands of San Diegans know that somebody in San Diego loves Bryanboy."

Peter sent a text message to be shown on the big screen in between performances. It’s a concert featuring Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Chris Brown and other folks.

Visit Peter’s website at http://www.petterz.com.

Thanks babe. You’re a doll!!! You’re doing the world a big favor by spreading my gospel and the glory of my faggotry.

Lovely Europeans

Those Europeans sure do know how to make a gook like me happy. They love their labels as much as I do.

Meet Oliver from France…

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…Terry from Italy

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… and of course, the father of my first born child, Alex from the UK, who is the original "I LOVE BRYANBOY mascot.

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It’s Sunday, 6:54PM. I’m gonna work on Podcast #006 and my much-awaited Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax post.

You all know where to contact me. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all. Don’t do anything that I won’t do and remember kids, keep your chastity belts on.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

[pinit]
6:50 am

I’m getting bored…

26/04/2006, Bryanboy.com, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Fans, Press Coverage, Scandinavia, Social Awareness

I’m getting bored…

First things first… I’d like to give a big shout out to readers of Elle Girl magazine in the Netherlands. Thanks for loving and talking about me.

042506_coffee1

Ik HOUD van ELKE EN ELKE ÉÉN VAN U! VERZEND ME een BEELD VAN U DIE HOUDEN Het TEKEN Ik van de LIEFDE BRYANBOY! KUSSEN!!!

Ok. My Dutch is all wrong and that’s what I get from using one of those online translator things. Hopefully y’all get the jist out of it. HAHAHAHA!

Moving on…

I finally managed to get my lazy fat ass to my dermatologists yesterday afternoon. There’s a photo shoot I need to go to and I have to look pretty.

First stop: Coffee Bean

THANK god the whipped cream-serving bulldyke of a midget wasn’t there. I don’t want anyone to be spitting on my drink (unless they’re cute, hot and rich… but then again, no cute, hot and rich person will work as a barista) after whingeing on my blog.

Just to be safe, I EXPLICITLY told the lovely lady behind the counter that I DO NOT WANT WHIPPED CREAM on my drink… my wish is her command.

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Cardigan by LAROK, white tank top by Calvin Klein, brown/rust-colored jeans from Acne Jeans (Sweden), boots from Fruit, bag from Hermès, amber and gold necklace from Kenneth Jay Lane, sunglasses from Dior

Boy I got a surprise for all of you.

You see, I often get asked as to who takes my photos. In addition to my familia de horreur members and friends, well, let me unveil one of them. Meet my maid, Eunice.

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Eunice has been my maid for quite some time and she’s the best, best, best friend a faggot like me can ever have. She’s got everything about me memorised. She knows some of my deepest, darkest secrets. She’s been with me through obesity and thin and up to this day, I’ve never heard a single word (.. or grunt) from her in spite of everything that she’s done for me, like cleaning up all my puke on the bathroom floor after a good night out… or  my soiled, skid mark-infested underwear.

My nonsexual wife anorexic daughter Hannah would complain about her "hunchback" maid, Simang, every once in a while.

HOY HANNAH, at least your maid ain’t a lesbian!!!

Today’s obligatory paparazzi shot.042506_paparazzi

I have a feeling my maid Eunice might be a lesbo. I’ve never seen her show any kind of perverted emotion towards guys.

OK… WAITTTTT.. she thinks that Piolo (spelling?) Pascual Filipino actor guy is cute.

Yuck!

She won’t believe me when I told her that he’s gay like a row of pink camping tents.

Oh well.

042606_facial

So yeah, I had my usual glycopeel cleaning/extraction facial.

For the first time in ages, I didn’t feel any pain today. God knows why. I usually have low tolerance for pain, expecially while having a facial done. I know I scream like a pregnant prostitute bitch in labor every time my aesthetician extracts a white head from one of my blocked pore.

Today’s lack of pain made me think about things I don’t usually think about on a day-to-day basis.

For instance, sometime last week, I told a friend on how I’m starting to get bored. I expressed my desire to experience something new, like, learn a new skill or take up cooking classes.

She suggested that we learn a foreign language together… take up French at one of those Alliance Francaise centers. I told her sure, why not. We even checked the availability online and the session that we want won’t start until October. There’s a 3rd and 4th session but we’re both planning to travel around June/July/August.

While the lady pricked my face, I realized I’m at that stage where everything is just stagnant. I’m turning into a stale, 20-something.

I mean, I know I’ve changed tremendously in the past 12 months. However, if I look at it on a different perspective, it feels as if I’m not going anywhere. My life’s at a standstill and I’m doing the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

I told my friend this and she thinks "I’ve gone so far and achieved so much already".

042606_facial1I remember the old times when I used to deny myself from owning to what I’ve achieved in order to delude myself into thinking I have a tiny bone of humility inside me.

But I still can’t can’t help but ask myself the $64 million question.

WHERE AM I GOING AT THIS POINT?

Let’s face it, I won’t deny that all I do is shop, shop, shop, work, work, work, shop, shop, shop, spread my faggotry to the world, shop, work, eat, eat, eat, spread my faggotry to the world, shop, shop, spread my faggotry to the world.

It’s gotten to the point where it’s like a routine.

Shit, it’s MY routine.

Everything used to be fun. Every time I get a material ‘acquisition’…a  bag, a jacket, everything… it brings a genuine smile to my face and I feel soo… contented. I know I once said that being severely materialistic makes up for my lack of non-material things in life. But in all honesty, I don’t take my sense of materialism too seriously. Afterall, it’s only material stuff!

Enough ranting. I already sound like a broken record.

I think it might be therapeutic if I list what I want to happen SOON.

  • have a clear sense of direction on where I’m heading
  • experience something NEW and FUN!
  • learn something NEW… a new skill, a new hobby, whatever

(Would you believe I even went as far as researching VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES in countries like ECUADOR and ROMANIA? I don’t know what came over me considering there’s over 80 million people who need help in my own backyard. My familia de horreur had always told me to stay away from hallucinogenic drugs and the people who take them.)

042606_baboosh

Before you go on a high horse and bombard me with your PREDICTABLE sanctimonious crap, I’m begging you to please avoid telling me to

  • just be "myself" (and)
  • donate to charity.

An escape from reality is what I need. Away from the blog, the Chanel, the Fendi, the Goyard, the shopping, the facials, the cellphone, the internet, the familia de horreur and of course, the sheer thought at the back of my mind that I’m surrounded by vultures who are constantly looking for that perfect opportunity to devour me alive.

I need a holiday. A 1 or 2 month-long vacation. Somewhere extremely remote and far-flung but close to civilization. Somewhere where nobody knows me and I know nobody.

Somewhere like Skåne, Sweden.
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I want to be surrounded by nature. I want to pick fresh flowers, see trees, ride a huge horse. I want to buy a lot of art materials and learn how to paint scenery etc., that sort of thing. I also want to get gangbanged by well-hung farmboys and have hot and horny mixed-race baby-making sex on top of a tractor.

Remember Jakob, the Swedish guy I met up with in Copenhagen> He’s the only person in the world who managed to made me walk (and you KNOW I despise walking) for like 2-3 hours just to find that bloody Little Mermaid Statue?

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Well, he offered to take me to his summer house in Varberg middle of nowhere bumfuck Sweden.

If I take him up on his offer that beats the purpose of me travelling somewhere where "no one knows me and I know nobody".

Hmmm pakipot ka pa alam mo naman kung saan matutuloy yan.

I wanna go to Skåne god dammit.

Oh I’m just soooo bored with life right now. All I need is change. That’s all.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

PPSS. The only thing that making life worth living is your love. And John Galliano.

Bryanboy loves Erick from Vandenberg AFB (Air Force Base?) California. Erick sweetie you do know that one of goals in life is to get gangbanged by the military/navy/army/men in black etc, right? PLEASE GET SOME OF YOUR AIR FORCE BUDDIES TO STRIP NAKED AND HOLD AN I LOVE BRYANBOY SIGN FOR ME.

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Screw the don’t ask don’t tell policy. If I get gangbanged by men in uniform, I want MAXIMUM MILEAGE, MAXIMUM PUBLICITY. I want to make a shitload of MONEY and sell videos of it.

Failing that, the Bryanboy pose picture will do just fine. :)

042606_love2

You really love me do you now? Can I ride your aeroplane? It’s my aeroplannnneeee…

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Alex from Tasmania, Australia. Big kisses from me to you. I love ya lots darling even if you sent me a damn photochopped photo. I SAID NO PHOTOSHOPPED ONES… HAHAHA ;)

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This set of photos is better than PORN!!! I jacked off 10 times and my balls are the size of raisins. Courtesy of Clair from Perth, Australia.

(This is what I call TRUE LOVE)

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PPPSSS. OH MY GOD. THIS VIDEO HAS GOT TO BE THE GAYEST VIDEO I HAVE EVER AND I MEAN EVER SEEN.

I’m gonna go to sleep now. I have a photo shoot later today.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

[pinit]