Sundays Are Gay Days
It’s Monday, 10:38AM and I just got up about half hour ago. I came back at the hotel at around 4:30.
Not too shabby for a Sunday night out.
Yesterday was fun – I even went to an Ukrainian restaurant. I wish I took my camera with me.
Here are pics from my quest (well, yesterday’s quest) for mixed-race cosmonauts.
Watcha lookin at? Hump me Sergey, hump me!
Dima’s eyes are soo soo sexy… you know, like little miss stoner pothead eyes. Love, love, love em.
He’s sooo lovely.
I’m taller than this guy but look how his arms are twice the size of mine.
Vova and I have this little whistle thing THING. He’s soo adorable.
Now that you’ve seen me flit from one boy’s lap to another (i’m telling you, it won’t be long until I become a pregnant mother fucker – I fucking have mixed-raced half-white, half-iced-cafe-latte cosmonauts swimming inside my tummy now), it’s time to show some female action.
That’s Natalya from Ukraine.
Jane dolled up and piled on my designer goodies like a proper bitch. I LOVE IT. Yes, they were purposely done in a in-your-face, distateful manner on a Novi Ruski can do. Click here for an in-depth article about Novi Ruskis by The Times Newspaper UK.
To quote Simon Mills:
"You can spot a bunch of holidaying Novi Ruskis at 200 yards. It’s not just their brusque, bear-baiting mannerisms or the linguistic glottal-stopping. The men are portly, and look like plutonium salesmen with terrible taste in swimwear; the women sport an affluent effluence of logos, diamanté-studded accessories, metallic belts and the sort of vertiginous shoes that make the debt-set dollies of Cheshire look sartorially restrained."
Jane, being my friend and all, had to do the infamous Bryanboy pose. Hahahaha!
Mark oh Mark
I met up again with one of my first Russian friends, Mark. He now lives in South Russia and took a train just to see me in Moscow.
Not only he’s changed physically (he lost weight, he’s got long hair, he’s got facial hair), his life also changed tremendously.
Our conversations were really deep and heavy… how his life has been so good last year and how it’s been worse this year: he lost his flat, his father disowned him, some of his friends passed away… ugh.. his stories were quite scary.
Remember Natasha from last year? Click here for last year’s post.
Apparently she passed away this year. Mark and Sergey were unclear on how she died (their English aren’t perfect and they couldn’t find the right English word, however, they said something about her brain/head etc) so I assumed it was due to a brain tumor.
To The Club
Mark, Sergey, me and Nataly went to Propaganda yesterday (YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE THE WORD "PROPAGANDA" AND HOW EVERY FUCKIN CITY IN THIS PLANET HAVE A BAR OR CLUB CALLED "PROPAGANDA") because it was gay night.
Yes, they let us in this time.
No, there wasn’t any face control.
No, we all didn’t look gay.
OK, I looked pretty gay.
(Duh! What straight man would wear a Dior hat, a Marc Jacobs cardigan, a RED striped t-shirt from Urban Outfitters, a Chanel belt and a dead fox draped on his body?)
Apparently the woman in the middle is a famous Russian star. I have absolutely no idea on who she is.
I know I need to lose 15 more pounds. It’s NOT fun to be a heavyweight champion you know.
Dontcha just hate taking pictures inside a gay club and all these men in their finest (or rather not-so-finest) wifebeaters act as a backdrop? Ugh.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Ulsan, Korea, Kew, VIC Australia, Melbourne, Australia, San Diego, CA, Nashville, TN, Oxford, United Kingdom, Pudu, Malaysia, Calgary, AB Canada, Toronto, ONT Canada, Kangkar, Sinapore, Taipei, Taiwan, Mortdale, NSW Australia, all the lovely people from MOCKBA, Russia and of course, my hometown – the national capital of the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives, Manila, Philippines!!!!
#2 – If you’re in Manila, have you bought a copy of Fudge Magazine yet? Please buy a copy of Fudge AND MEGA Magazines. I got a text message from Tanya (thanks babe) that I’ve got a photo there or some sort (Mega). Buy a copy bitches, scan the page with my photo on it, email it to me and I will forever be indebted to you. I wanna see if I look pretty there or not.
#3 – I’m going to STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN this Saturday. I gotta buy some furniture and say hello to Scandinavia. If you’re in/near Stockholm (or know anyone in Stockholm) and would like to rescue me from feeling the effects of being a lonely planet solo flight traveler (aka being lonely and miserable), please EMAIL me – firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-785-1492. Let’s have coffee. or a drink. YOUR TREAT. Hahahahaha! Because I’m soo damn poor now.
#4 – BRYANBOY LOVES SINGAPOREANS!!! I’m telling each and every one of you bitches… I am soo goin to Singapore early next year. Heck, you better give me a a shitload of cigarettes and chewing gum to celebrate my arrival. I love you all!
#5 – Mike B. from Tampa, Florida says it all.
Keep the love coming bitches. I need some FOOD!
As always, you know where to contact me. Email email@example.com or SMS my Moscow mobile number, +7-926-437-6332.
SMS Messages are fucking cheap. Don’t just sit there and do NOTHING. Grab your mobile phone and tell me you love me.
I love you all.
Who would have thought I’d spent my Saturday night completely WASTED?
(God my arms look fat on this photo)
Wasted in the sense where:
1) I didn’t have a strain of alcohol or illegal substances on my system
2) I didn’t go to a bar, night club or any public place where procreation is inevitable
3) I didn’t preen, pose, mince, dance or did any activity that results in weight loss
I had a nice little dinner by myself at my favourite MOCKBA haunt, the Vogue Cafe. The service is REALLY good. The coat check man still remembered me from last year. The pastries woman said hi. My waitress took really good care of me from start to finish. When she saw me hang my Dior East/West Flight bag on my chair, she gave me a mini-chair for my handbag. When she saw me whip out my Marlboro Ultra Lights cigarette, she quickly rushed to me with a lighter. It was comfort and service at its finest.
Anyway, I had a crab salad, veal tenderloin, some orange juice and 2 xanax pills.
All of my Russian friends were busy last night, i.e. some were still at work, some had prior engagements etc. In other words, yes, I was alone yesterday night.
I don’t mind it though; I’m sure they all have their lives and it would be rude of me to demand that I see them every single day when I’m gonna be here for the next 12 days.
I got back to the hotel by 7PM, slept at around 9PM and got up at 6AM.
I am sooo homesick. I have no idea why.
Travelling solo flight is definitely a mind-blowing experience. It makes you realize how alone you are in the world and how you miss things back home.
I have all the time in the world at the moment and I hate it.
At least my Russian sable fur hat is gorgeous.
Ignore my thunder thighs. I swear I’m not gonna eat carbs from now on.
I haven’t had a single grain of rice since I got here.
I miss my family, my home, my room (that feels like a fucking sauna, even with the airconditioning on).
I miss Filipino food.
I miss my maid, Eunice.
I miss my domestic, short-haired, breedless, cat, Pinkie.
I miss my dauchshund, Bruno.
I miss my crappy car and calling poor people to pay them US$10 to drive me around for an entire day because our family driver is soo unreliable.
I miss going out at night only to go home at around 9 in the morning, no questions asked from my familia de horreur.
I miss sashaying down the third world malls in my first world outfits with typical Filipino people thinking my Birkin bag is a working woman’s bag (i.e. bank tellers etc).
All I can say is, when the going gets tough, the tough gets Dee-yor.
That’s exactly what I said back in July 14,2005.
I’m currently staying for free at my hotel in Moscow. I redeemed some of my Starwood Preferred Guest points. I know it’s not a suite but hey, I’ll take it if it’s for free. I’m transferring though to another hotel in a few days.
My room is soo messy and it’s my fault. I’ve got all my shit scattered all over the place.
It’s times like this that I realize, shit, I’m so lucky to have my own maid in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.
NEVER underestimate a household help’s magic. Even if they have ruined a Lucien Pellat-Finet sweater in the past by getting in laundried instead of dry-cleaned.
I’ve been in Moscow now for 3 days and today is the first day I saw slush since I got here. I hope it’s a sign that it’s gonna snow soon, this way I’ll get to wear my Dior snowboots.
Bring on the fucking blizzard you mother nature you.
Time Magazine will probably name you as "Person of the Year" when it could have been ME you fucking bitch.
I paid VERY good money just to experience a fuckin blizzard.
If all you’re giving me is fuckin slush (i.e. green mango/white grape shake) that I could’ve bought at a restaurant in the Philippines, I should’ve just stayed at home, throw ice cubes in my blender and throw it in the air like glitter at a Studio 54 party.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Pittem, Belgium, Kingsthorpe, Queensland, Hartsdale, NY, Mobile, AL, Littleton, CO, Davis, CA, Lemon Grove, CA, Maryknoll, NY, Sunnyvale,CA, Austin, TX, Evanston, IL and of course, people from my home town, the national capital of the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives, MANILA, PHILIPPINES!
#2 – Notable Mentions. I appeared at VH1′s Best Week Ever’s website again…. and at MetaFilter.com.
#3 – Chloe Paddington bags are available at the Chloe Boutique in Beijing. Oh yes, there’s a couple in black, olive green and a maroon-like color.
#4- Louis Vuitton in Moscow is the place where you can get all your Limited Edition pieces. Boy, they have a shitload of limited editions over there and it’s not as expensive as what you think. In fact, most of the pieces there are the same price in Manila. I think it’s Louis Vuitton’s policy to have the same price everywhere else (except in local currency conversions).
#5 – Lots of love from all over the world. I know I said NO PHOTOSHOP but I guess I’ll make exceptions because I’m FUCKING homesick. Miami, Copenhagen and Paris.
(Sebastian darling, I know Copenhagen loves me but will YOU fuck me?)
(Say hello to Pablo Chester, Paris’ Black Diva. Loves it baby, loves it!)
#6 – If you’re in Manila, will you PLEASE, pretty PLEASE, buy a copy of this month’s Fudge Magazine with Harry Potter on the cover? I think I’m there and I need you to scan the pages where I’m on it. I’ll forever be indebted – I’ll give you sexual favours when I get back. I promise. Email me the scans.
I think that’s it. I’m meeting a few friends today, it’s Sunday and I hope to get decent pictures done later.
As always, you know where to contact me.
I’m homesick you fucking bitches!!!!
Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS my Moscow number, +7-926-437-6332.
I love you all.
Man, I have the WORST hangover ever.
I did a little "emergency" trip to my favourite club, Emba at around 1:30AM and got back before 6:30AM. Wore a black button-down shirt for the first time (in MONTHS!), striped Dolce & Gabbana trousers, Valentino belt, Frye boots and a wool Chanel bag.
I wish I took pictures but I left the damn camera in the car. Jenni E. looked ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS in her little orange number.
Believe it or not, I have remnants of vomit on my bedside table. The maid must have cleaned up my act while I was asleep.
I haven’t puked in the longest time.
I wish I knew how much I puked though.
I wish I puked all the junk food I had yesterday… but knowing my body, I probably vomitted gastric acid and excess saliva.
I spent 4 whole hours munching on junk food whilst watching Nip/Tuck on DVD yesterday. These 2 guys never cease to amaze me. If only our plastic surgeons are THAT good-looking and rich (ok, they’re not really good looking but they do have some sort of a sexual appeal), I’d be busy doing serious self-harm to get some car crash cosmetic surgery (and hopefully some fun fun sexual action) done.
Oh I am so bored out of my skull.
I just can’t wait to hop on a plane.
Let the countdown begin.
In less than 2 weeks I’ll be wearing my fall/winter regalia.
I **NEED** that mini winter wonderland holiday.
Screw everything at this point. I need a fucking vacation.
1 Month. 7 Countries.
I’ll be home before Christmas. ..
and then Boracay on New Year’s Eve.
I promised myself I’ll fill my 3rd passport with stamps before the year ends so I’ll have a new passport next year with a prettier photo. LOL
Next week is going to be busy; need to pick up my passport at an embassy cause they approved my visa… and then go to ANOTHER embassy the following morning for my appointment.
All these visa drama. Ugh.
Somebody just fucking give me a diplomatic or official passport already. Afterall, I’m doing a good job promoting the third world to the international community.
Sucky sucky 5 dolla, me love you long time 10 dolla, you pay 20 dolla I gib free roast duck!
Think about it – why the hell should we bring tourism into our country when the country can export the Department of Sex Trade and Beauty Industry (aka me) instead ???
Keep the Love Coming
See, even people who go to couples therapy loves Bryanboy.
Big shout out to both of these boys doing the infamous Bryanboy pose. First one’s from Greenwich, London, UK and the other one is from Singapore.
Keep the love coming.
Love comes in the form of imagery so it’s best to send your love via email – email@example.com.
Try to avoid "photoshopping" please.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Montpellier, France, Bedok Village, Singapore, Bangkok, Thailand, Reseda, CA, Jurong Town, Singapore, Souspierre, France, Helmond, Netherlands, Spearwood, WA and Box Hill & Ascot Vale VIC Australia and of course, people from Osaka, Japan! Bryanboy loves you all – identify yourselves bitches and say hello!
#2 – Take a look at Style.com’s top Spring/Summer 2006 models. They all have funny looking eyebrows.
#3 – Why does papaya have a weird aftertaste?
#4 – Can someone please tell me where I can buy high-quality but cheap fur jackets & coats/exotic animal skins/etc in Beijing?
#5 – I NEED A SUGAR DADDY TO SPOIL ME GOOD… SPOIL ME REALLY ROTTEN. PLEASE BE YOUNGER THAN 35, THANK YOU. AND YES, IT IS POSSIBLE TO CONCEIVE A CHILD AT 12 YEARS OF AGE.
#6 – Happy Birthday Astrud Crisologo!
#7 – THAT Embassy better approve my visa application. I OWN STOCK (AKA MINORITY SHAREHOLDER – I’M POOR) in one of their country’s BIGGEST companies.
#8 – Courtesy of MadeinBrazil.com – the New Gucci Boy (S/S 2006) is Michael Camiloto. Gorgeous son of a bitch eh?
Ugh. Enough male model fantasy.
Hannah Matronic, remember how I told you that we shouldn’t be fantasizing about male models (well, Filipino male models) because they’re poor, they’re dull, they’re poor, they have STDs, they’re poor, they shoved their cocks up some dirty old fag’s asshole, and best of all, they’re gonna end up as prostitutes in the future?
#9 – Danish government provide prostitutes for the disabled – at the taxpayers’ expense. Quick! Let’s all move to Copenhagen PRONTO!
#10 – I’d love to see someone with a low-hanging scrotum wear those denim shorts. Click here to see more from "Butch".
As always, you know where to contact me. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
Boredom Killed the Cat
It’s 12:15AM and I am so bored out of my skull. I don’t think I have been so bored in my life.
Seriously, all I did for the past 2-3 hours was absolutely nothing.
You know your life is about to go on a downward spiral when you celebrate midnight by reheating 4 slices of leftover pizza on a Wednesday night.
A couple of my friends called and texted earlier this evening asking whether we’ll go out tonight; I told them I won’t.. and some… are reserving their energy for this weekend.
I’m definitely going out tomorrow night though. Drink and let live. Don’t ask me where… I’ll go where the young, the beautiful and the damned go.
Kelly’s Kool Kalloween
I don’t know whether to hate or thank god for being the only creature in this household who is NOT having fun.
Kelly’s all over the place. Again.
Blimey, that fowl is even more jetset than I am.
Thanks, Penny, from Australia!
This one’s fresh from the boat in Dover, UK.
I love this guy. I really do.
Even Clint, from London, had something to show us.
I love British passport holders. They sure do know how to show some good old Bryanboy lovin’ lovin’.
The love doesn’t even end there. Meet Megan from Anchorage, Alaska.
Send me images of love (and hate). Email email@example.com.
I think I’m going to down some downers and go to sleep. There really is NOTHING to do at the moment.
You know where to contact me. SMS +63-915-785-1492.
Beauty & Premature Ageing
The title, the photo and the caption says it all.
I turned myself into a 66-year old OVERNIGHT.
If you think that was bad, wait till you see what I saw at Eluxury.com earlier today. Since when did they put people with awful plastic surgery on that website?
Speaking of plastic surgery, god I need it. Fast.
Anyone kind enough to give me the gift of good looks?
I don’t need to have good looks.
I mean, let’s face it, you only need good looks if you want to be a prostitute or something.
Does one need to have good looks in order to survive this big, bad, shallow world?
Nuh uh, I don’t think so.
Let’s talk about weight for instance.
When I was much, much younger, I wished I had an eating disorder.
A couple of years later, that wish was granted. I developed an eating disorder: I ate far too much.
Anyway, I don’t want to have problems good-looking people have.
People lusting over them only because of the way they look, people talking to them only because of the way they look, people offering them jobs just because the way they look, people giving them money just because of the way they look.
Enough beauty talk. That photo is fucking awful.
I don’t even know why I posted it here.
Besides, I’ve posted far too many fugly photos of myself on this site.
I need sympathy, bitches!
Motorola, The Philippine Daily Inquirer and Not Enough Circuses (my very good friend of godknowshowmany years, Ariel Lozada’s production team) are holding an event, featuring 5 of the Philippines’ young designers, Ivarluski Aseron, Ignacio Loyola, James Reyes, Yvonne Quisimbing-Romulo and Joey Samson on Tuesday, October 25 at the NBC Tent.
Ziggi Zigga Zara
was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time was perfect.
I have NO idea how I managed to get home earlier this morning when the moon and the stars are still up.
In fact, I got home at around 4:30AM.
For the past few months, my personal "ride of shame" had always been done in broad daylight. 7AM, 8AM, 9AM even 10AM. It’s extremely rare for me to be home before 6AM.
ride of shame = that icky, lonely, home-bound 20 minute-long journey with you (and only you) at the back of the car, staring at the window with your designer sunglasses, palpitations and headaches galore, after a night’s worth of debauchery
I think I had an early night cause I went out first thing in the afternoon.
I went to Louis Vuitton, bought a pair of boots, a Beijing Carnet de Voyage and a woollen scarf. Thank god they’re done cleaning with my Damier trunk.
I also went to Mix for a pair of Antik denim jeans and to Diesel for a t-shirt and a tank top.
Apres-shopping, I quickly dropped by at the Zara Store Opening. Had far too many cocktails and yes, those damn quail-egg nibbles are good.
(This is why I *NEVER* smile or laugh at any of my photos. I look hideous!)
After Zara, a friend and I quickly went to the supermarket to buy some supplies for our little "girls night in" mini-party.
Errr, sorry, wrong photo.
What are those things at Paris’ back, arms and elbows? Rashes? Marks? Whatever?
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Camberwell, VIC, Australia, Warsaw, Poland, Trenton, NJ, Lake Hiawatha, NJ, Austin, TX, Assentoft, Denmark, Zurich, Switzerland, Pequannock, NJ, Orlando, FL, Bonn, Germany, Suasalito, CA and of course, people from Santa Monica, CA. Bryanboy loves y’all! Identify yourselves bitches and say hi!
#2 – Drew Barrymore is gonna model for Missoni. Lucky bitch. Click here for the article. Someone just fucking stop this blatant fashion hijacking by celebrities. Celebrities are fucking stealing models’ jobs!
#3 – Gotta finish my article tomorrow for Just Shop magazine.
#4 – Keep an eye out on my blog tomorrow for my new online project.
#5 – Elijah Wood is very, very, gay. Yuck. I don’t like the way he looks. In fact, he looks just like Harry Potter.
You know where to contact me if you need me. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-7851492.
Due to insistent public demand, I’m going to dedicate this post entirely to everything that I love… and random cheesemax.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Montreal, Canada, Piscataway, NJ, Sydney, NSW, Providence, Rhode Island, Houston, TX, Parkersburg, WV, Daly City, CA, Plymouth Meeting, PA, Brookline, MA, Albany, NY, Bedford Park, IL, Tucson, AZ, Sherwood Park, Alberta (Canada), Wrgl – Tirol, Austria and of course, people from Tampa, FL. Bryanboy loves y’all! Identify yourselves bitches and say hello!
#2 – Screw H&M for dropping Kate Moss off their ad campaign. I mean, who would want to buy clothes from them anyway? I love the
chic & cheap cheap & chips concept but there’s no way in this life I’m wearing clothes that hundreds of thousands of European teens wear. Ok, I love Top Shop… and I love Mango… but I certainly don’t love H&M.
Stick to the big guns, Kate. Chanel and Dior loves you the same way I love them.
After all, with a pretty face like yours, and of course, the most fabulous skin in the world, you deserve better.
Click the graphics and maximize your window to see the full-size versions. You have got to see her face up close to appreciate her skin. Classic case of "when good things happen to bad people".
I’m still your number one fan. I love you Kate!!!!
#3 – I was on that god damn gay UK website again and this one is worthy of the Extreme Makeover 2005 award. My god, it’s amazing what 3 years can do to one’s looks. Pic #1 was taken in 2002, picture #2 was taken on July 2005, picture number # was taken last month.
#4 – Thank you very much Monsieur Dumlao for introducing me to the Seven New York store. Yes, I emailed them about the Raf Simons shoes… just waiting for their response. I love, love, love, love the motorcycle sneaker!
#5 – I’m flying this weekend to an undisclosed location for my photo shoot. Oh my god, I’m finally gonna be a model. Eat your heart out Daria Werbowy (I love you babes). Ok, not really a model as in fashion week model, but, I’m gonna have my pictures taken the way the models get shot for newspaper/magazine editorials.
Even if I’m not modelling for anything, I’m more than happy to be one of the world’s laughing stock.
Oh oh oh I’m so excited, the thought of it makes me cream my pants. I’ll tell you more about this venture when it gets published. Just cross your fingers, your legs and your dress for me. Ain’t no mountain high enough my dear darlings!
#6 – This one goes to HKWHI.
Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. Thanks for giving me a good head fuck. No airline out there would want to carry your excess baggage. Not even FedEx. There’s a big difference between "me & him" and "you & me". You and me have stretch marks as far as fuckin Colombia while me and him had liposuction done in Brazil when we were 11. Burn in hell you fuckin dog.
#7 – Check out what happened on my conversation with this lovely, busty, big-chested, Hispanic 17 year old girl from Brooklyn. She was curious about what Manic Manila is like. It’s nice for people to be curious about my city for a change. Really.
I guess she was concerned about mugging, given the level of crime they have up in Brooklyn.
So I gave her the solution to crime, petty theft and mugging.
#8 – Fashion week is operating at full swing and the gravy train is currently in London en route to Paris. I can spot a vagina with a nice body a mile away and this girl is hot hot hot.
#9 – Oh. my. god! Erin O’Connor has been eating again and gained some weight!!!! If you’ve been tracking Erin The OC over the past few years, you’ll probaby notice that this is the fattest state she’s in. And that Jade Parfitt beauty. Bah. Lucky bitches.
#10 – Here are some random pics from the Versace store relaunch and afterparty. Donatella V, looking as butch as ever.
That’s all for now. Enough brain purge.
You know where to contact me. Email email@example.com or SMS +63-915-7851492.