Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Parla, Madrid Spain, Englewood Cliffs, NJ, Rixensart, Brabant Belgium, Cardiff, UK, Petaling Jaya, Malaysia, Vanda, Finland, Eschborn, Hessen Germany, Bangkok, Thailand, Cape Town, South Africa, Bischwiller, Alsace France, Beveren, Belgium, Hemiksen, Antwerpen Belgium (Jesus, a ton of Belgian readers eh?), Valla, Sweden and of course, all my loverboys and fag hags in Vienna, Austria. I love each and every one of you. Say hi, don’t be shy!
#2 – Oh dear. I seriously wish I knew what (or should I say WHERE) I gotten myself into. You see, a little over a year ago, not too many people in this country knew who I was. Errr, ok, I’m not insinuating that a lot of people know me now, but compared to last year, the people who know my name these days got multiplied by several hundred, if not thousands… perhaps tens of thousands. People from all sorts of backgrounds – rich, poor, middle class, pretending to be rich (like me), pretending to be poor (also like me), whatever.
I’ll never forget those times when I’d go to clubs and parties and many, many people would introduce me to many, many people and I’d say "hi", go all shy and make a complete fool of myself. (BTW, I still haven’t learned… I STILL make a fool out of myself.). I’d be FILTHY FUCKING rich if I got a dollar every time someone said "I’ve heard sooo much about you" or "I’ve heard about your blog". Heck, a lot of people even introduced themselves to me. It’s all fun and good and I have absolutely no regrets because I get to meet people… something I’ve NEVER done before… and to think, I NEVER talk to anyone UNLESS they approach me. I’m not the type of person who would introduce myself to anyone. I just can’t.
There were sooo many names. Names, names, names, names, names. People, who, at that time, I had no clue as to who they are. I was sooo stupid and clueless. I’ve got no one else to blame back then for being clueless because I don’t read newspapers or magazines. For instance, there was a time when I asked someone (who was just introduced to me) why people are approaching her left and right, every 5 seconds. She’d pull me in one quiet corner and we’d talk for HOURS so people won’t disturb our lovely conversation.
Oh I don’t know anymore. When you somehow made a name for yourself (in spite of how people perceive you) and when your goal is to create a new world order through faggotry (hahaha), I guess it’s inevitable for people to talk about you. It’s one of those things that come with the package and the price you pay for being known by a lot of people.
(I didn’t wanna use "well-known" or "famous" because I like to pretend I’m humble. Humility is next to cleanliness and cleanliness is next to godliness. HAHA!)
I guess one could only take so much crap. I got fed up a couple of days ago on some internet forum so I asked why some of them can’t stop talking shit about me. I told them that I’m a nobody; I’m no actor, celebrity or socialite and I certainly don’t deserve their trash and fallacies. Their attention is better directed towards someone else, someone even more high-profile than me.
And then out of nowhere, there’s someone out there using me to wipe the floor of the house that I don’t even belong. I really don’t understand what they get out of it.
I have to admit I had a good laugh when I saw that website.
Ok, I lied.
I initially cringed in shock and horror, shed some tears and called a few friends at first and then I realized should just take it lightly. Afterall, FAMOUS and FABULOUS people get talked (and trash talked) all the time. I’m just disappointed that it’s now getting REALLY personal.
These people obviously have far too much spare time in their hands. I suggest that they fine-tooth comb my website. I doubt they read my plea 3 months ago on how I wanted to be adopted by someone with ill-gotten wealth.
Hmm.. I gave it some thought and how I *SERIOUSLY* wish I was a son of a corrupt army general.
Imagine me hitting the third world high streets in my own Maybach or Bentley with 3 bodyguards in tow, all paid for by Filipino taxpayers. I’d have a super fine, kick-ass degree at a top NY school under my belt and I wouldn’t be sooo ashamed on how "modest" my grandfather’s grave is.
Shit, if these people only knew how much angst I’ve got against my boring brown clan because we don’t have a maosoleum!!!!!!!
Anyway, a few people told me to just ignore it because the more I show my vulnerable side, the more likely they’ll provoke and attack. It’s sooo hard to ignore it though because I’m new to this level of viciousness. It’s one thing to be trash-talked by 2 or 3 people and it’s another thing to be trashed in a larger scale.
I guess all I have to do at this point is learn how to deal with it with a white glove and (pretend or try to) show everyone I’m above such crap.
It’s hard but I know I’ll manage.
Please tell me I’m good at trying to get sympathy. I’ve always wanted to play the po’ little rich boy drama act except I’m not rich. I want to see whether it will work for me because I know it worked for other rich people HAHAHAHAHA!!! I’m kidding.
#3 – You guys certainly know how to make a fag happy. It really is comforting to know that there’s people out there who read my gospel, wherever they are in the world. Norway, California, Florida, Philippines and Singapore.
#4 – Oh my good lord. Lookie lookie at what I got via email!!!!!! There you have it. Your love has definitely reached record-breaking levels. This is too much!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Nothing can beat a big brown ass from hell!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!
#5 – I STILL CAN’T GET OVER THE FACT THAT FENDI DID MY POSE!! HAHAHAHA!
#6 – Random Cheesemax on the net…
- click here | No, there’s no way Paris and I can be a couple. That would be like incest.
- click here | Am I the only one disgusted at Clay Aiken? I literally can’t stand seeing his face. Someone just burn this guy alive.
- click here | Victoria Beckham is the reason why I want to have plastic surgery.
- click here | Meet the 24-hour, 6-foot-6 party person. And no, she isn’t a tranny.
- click here | Meet the Olsen twins’ male counterparts. Twice the money, twice the fun!
- click here | Kate Moss to start her own clothing line?
- click here | Check out Catherine Malandrino’s online boutique
- click here | Take a look at Prince Harry’s crotch. God I wanna give it a good fondling.
#7 – WHAT IS… AND WHO MADE THAT BAG AND HOW COME I DON’T HAVE IT? I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE!!!
Pic courtesy of my favourite celeb paparazzi photo site, www.celebworld.org
#8 – Flex that plastic and shop, shop, shop!
- click here | I LOVE this tank top. Cute online store from Australia. Super cheap, too.
- click here | BORROW, I repeat, BORROW, the biggest brands in designer handbags.
- click here | Cute ipod cases from Fred Flare.
- click here | I’m eyeing those denim shorts from Frost French. Thing is, I’ve got hairy legs!
- click here | I kinda like this Luella bag. £795 from this lovely online store called "Little London".
#9 – Check out the Bryanboy Forums for Podcast #005′s tracklistings. Visit http://www.bryanboy.com/forum.
#10 – I’m sorry but La Lohan has grown on me. I used to hate her but man, she really is my guilty pleasure. I don’t care if she’s got a ton of freckles… I love HER!! I’d die if she did a Bryanboy pose and hold an "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign pic. Hahahaha!
#11 – Check out NYC’s Social Elite Power Ranking. Tinsley Mortimer, I love you.
I think that’s all for now.
Email email@example.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492. I love you all!
PS. Discuss this blog post here.
HOLY FUCKING SHIYET FENDI
FENDI DEDICATED A POSE FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIYET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT’S MY POSE!!!! IT’S MY HAND ON THE HIP POSE! IT’S THE BAG HANGING ON THE AIR POSE!
THE BEAUTIFUL ANGELA LINDVALL DID THE INFAMOUS BRYANBOY POSE!!!
SOMEONE PLEASE CALL THE PRESS OFFICES OF FENDI AND KARL LAGERFELD AND TELL THEM I LOVE THEM SOOOO MUCH (AND THEY SHOULD GIVE ME FREE BAGS FOR COPYING MY POSE !!! HAHAHA)
Shit, I should’ve trademarked my pose back on July 2005 and sued Fendi but what the heck… I fucking love Fendi!!!!!!!!
What a coincidence, eh?
The fabulous folks at www.buxey.com were roaming around Roma Fiumicino airport today and found this glorious dedication to my glory hanging besides customs.
Here’s photos of me and my Fendi B-Bag 9 days ago… click here.
NOTHING CAN BEAT THE ORIGINAL, THE LEGENDARY AND THE INFAMOUS BRYANBOY POSE.
I LOOOOOVE FENDI!!!!!!!
I’m gonna spend the next few hours later uploading hundreds of your bryanboy pose submissions to my photo album. I’ve collected them ever since I started the blog.
Before I continue, I got a mention on the Edmonton Journal, a lovely newspaper from Canada the other day.
I remember one of their writers emailing me a long time ago and I never had the chance to follow through because of my schedule. I think it was around the same time I went on a mini vacation break. UGH!!! Nevertheless, her article about handbags got published and I got mentioned there… about my favourite handbag line in the world, Goyard!!!!
CLICK HERE TO READ THE ARTICLE.
I called their editor just now to see whether I can get a faxed or a scanned copy so I can add it on my Press/Media center. Unfortunately, I’m in the Philippines so I can’t get a copy of the paper. Oh well.
Cross your fingers. I hope she faxes it to me soon. I’d love to have it on my portfolio.
Edmonton now, the world tomorrow! Bryanboy loves Canada and Canadians should love Bryanboy.com.
Remember kids: help me in my quest for world domination. Spread the world about my gospel and my glory to every one that you know.
WORLD PEACE THROUGH FAGGOTRY!!
Time flies sooo fast it’s unbelievable. Heck, it’s MAY, for god’s sake and I haven’t accomplished anything "worthwhile" at all!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t even believe it’s already THURSDAY early morning. I must have spent the past day or so SLEEPING.
You can blame my fresh prescription for clonazepam/rivotril. Man, I love this stuff. One half of a tab and I’ll doze to neverland faster than the speed of light.
Anyway, I’ve been having sleeping problems for the past few weeks. Some days I’ll sleep for 3 or 4 hours MAX. Some of my friends from Sweden and England often ask as to when I usually go to bed because I’m always ONLINE!!!
I usually ask my doc for rivs if I can’t get xanax. Seriously, those little periwinkle pills of alprazolam/xanax/xanor sell like hotcakes in this country. It’s a known fact that the pharmacies in the third world can’t supply my usual xanax.
Well.. guess who just got up from a 12-hour sleep? ME!!!
Before going to bed, I had 2 cups of rose tea from Fauchon, some danish butter cookies (with Fauchon raspberry preserve spread on top), some grapes and slices of cheese a family friend gave me who just got back from Paris… oh and the last season of Sex and the City on DVD.
In the words of my bag hag, Mrs. T., truly luxurious! I feeel so refreshed now.
Sunglasses by Dior, oversized turqouise necklace (2 strands) from L’Obelisk, watch by Chanel. oversized tank top by Mark Eisen, cardigan by Yacht Club, jeans by Acne Jeans (Sweden), shoes by Gucci, bag by Goyard.
I’m telling you.. you guys should better get a Goyard bag soon! Mine’s a Goyard Croisiere 35 and it’s availbale for US$1,690. You can get one from the Goyard boutique in San Francisco or in St. Honore, Paris, Harvey Nichols Hong Kong, Barneys New York or Bergdorf Goodman in NYC. It’s a GORGEOUS bag and you can tell it on the pictures. Go Go Go Goyard!
Tuesday was a fabulous, low-key affair. I really felt like a REAL tai-tai. HAHAHAH!
I met up with Mrs. T. (on the last minute) for lunch and shopping.
My maid Eunice went on month-long vacation. My mom’s maid’s daughter, who is a nice girl, is spending the month in our house. Her family lives in the province and they often drop by in our house to visit her mom (one of our maids) during summer/vacation time. She’s my paparazzi for the day because my incompetent, evil bitch troll of a sister is out with her boyfriend.
I think my mom should just adopt her so I can dress her up in my teeny tiny outfits. Oh dear… I hope the Department of Child Services don’t arrest me for child labor. HAHAHAH!
Skinny jeans for the mother fucking win!! For some strange reason, my legs look skinny from behind. I love my size 26 Acne Jeans from Sweden. I HATE MY THUNDER THIGHS though.
Our first stop: Sakae Sushi. It’s one of those conveyer-belt sushi eateries. Damn I miss Yo! Sushi in London. I used to go there back in the dark ages like EVERY SINGLE DAY. Shit, I remember spending 5 hours each day at Harvey Nichols, the food hall, a quick meal at Yo! Sushi and a coffee at the 5th floor cafe. This was many, many, many years ago.
After our scrumptious lunch, Mrs. T and I went to Irene’s Closet.
I’ve been wanting to drop by at Irene’s shop for the past few months but I’ve been sooooo busy whoring myself online and giving unsuspecting white tourists my infamous $5 blowjobs. It’s sooo hard being a whore you know. Like what my dad keep on telling me since I was a child, time is the ultimate luxury.
I LOOOOVE Irene’s Closet. There’s a ton of good finds and they even have pique polos for pooches!!! I should’ve stopped by the ATM Machine because I didn’t have a lot of cash with me and they don’t accept plastique fantastique yet.
See that brown hat above the clothes rack? That’s MINE!!!!! I’m definitely gonna come back to pick it up.
Mrs. T. then brought me to a lot of boutique shops in the city. Shops I’ve never heard of before. For instance, we went to Abfit Jeans Co., which stocks True Religion, Rock & Republic, Seven, etc. I even found this gaudy but cute patchwork bag. I didn’t buy it though. Hahahha!
Today’s obligatory paparazzi shot:
Our last stop was this called "Fibre" and I found this gorgeous, gorgeous bolero with hundreds upon hundreds of layers of fabric made by Louis Claparols. It’s sooo avant-garde!!!!
I tried it on and it suits me perfectly. I would have worn a plain white or beige sleeveless top underneath it. It’s quite pricey though, at P8,500 (roughly around US$160) but then again, it’s quite "couture-ish" so it’s a steal! I told the gals at Fibre I’m gonna come back and think about it.
More Louis Claparols pieces…
This jacket is sooo Liza Minelli. Very matronic!
ALL of the pieces in Fibre are unique and one-of-a-kind. They carry pieces from Filipino young designers and some of the pieces there are the actual pieces that the designers use on thier shows. You won’t see anyone else with the same piece, trust me.
Even Mrs. T. tried something on…
We also met Vicki, who owns Fibre. She’s really lovely and super nice.
Apres-Fibre, Mrs. T, Vicki and I went for a quick coffee and chit chat session. I took this opportunity to take a photo of our twin Goyard bags. Mrs. T brought her black one while I got my white. Aren’t they cute?
There’s a ton of photo thieves out there so I watermarked the photo. God knows if pictures of our twins end up on eBay.
You know, I need to catch up with my tan. I’m too pale and fat. It’s a known fact that being bronze and brown can give the illusion that you’re stick thin. I can’t even wrap my hands around my upper arm anymore.
What a fun day eh? I should be doing this more often and go out during the day.
I still can’t get over the fact that I did LUNCH.
WHO THE FUCKIN HELL IN THE CIVILIZED WORLD
DOES LUNCH AT 12:30PM?
I usually do "lunch" at 4 in the afternoon, sometimes 5!!!
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from… Oxford, OH, Amsterdam, Netherlands, Brommy Kyrka, Sweden, Douglasville, GA, San Diego, CA, Garden City, NY, Morimondo, Italy, Vienna, Austria, Limburgerhof, Germany, Kuopio, Finland, Minneapolis, MN, Skoglsa, Sweden, Campinas, Sao Paolo Brazil, Bucuresti, Romania and of course, all the gorgeous chavs in Glasgow, Scotland. I love each and every one of you. Say hi, don’t be shy and send me pictures of you holding the "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign!
#2 – SO THIS IS WHAT PARIS HILTON’S LUGGAGE LOOKS LIKE. FABULOUS! Paris Hilton arrives in LAX… For some strange reason, these hideous bags remind me of pretentious snobby twats I always see at airports and act as if they’re the Queen of Zululand at the business class counter but all they use are cheap, nylon, promotional bags given out for free by corporations. These are the same type who would go all postal and complain at the airport counter girl for refusing to upgrade their cattle class tickets.
#3 – Ever since I was young, I’ve worked hard and I’m still working hard to build a future or a name for myself without kissing people’s ass or without the help of others. I’m trying my best in keeping my personal and professional lives separate but there are scrupulous (AND psychotic) people out there.
Ohhhhh I hate gossip mongers. Some people should really just get on with their fucking lives. Trash talking about other people YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW won’t get you anything. Money? Fame? Personal satisfaction? Ego trip?
And to think, most of these people are nobodies in their own right. I can’t help but wonder whether these people can survive staring at themselves in the mirror because of the way they spit vitriol and trash other people.
I don’t mind gossip. It’s fun. Shit, I even do it myself. But when it gets REALLY personal, defaming and career-destroying then that’s where I’ll draw the line. Oh well. The price you pay for being a fuckin "out there". Fame and celeb status can lick my scrotums anytime. I’m not even famous! I’m not even a celebrity! Screw those damn labels. If I’m famous, I’d be given a ton of free clothes, free accessories, get a free nosejob, and I’d have my own billboard on the freeway!
#4 – More love from people around the world…. you know what to do faggots. Keep them coming! Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Here’s my non-sexual wife with the I Love Bryanboy sign. Hannah you skank you’re getting fat!! I can see flaps on your arm. You and I…. we need to renew our membership at Anorexics Anonymous. I love you babe and I miss you sooo much. We should have sex when you get here. I don’t care if our babies turn out into brown monkeys… we’ll dress them in Chanel couture for the world to worship em.
BY THE WAY YOU LOOK PREGGERS IN THAT PHOTO! WHO THE FUCKIN HELL KNOCKED YOU UP? IS MY SPERM NOT WORTH OF YOUR EGGS?
Afterall, Chanel trumps skin color anytime! Take a look at me for instance.
I also would like to say hi to the Sarah Lawrence girls. I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU YOU FUCKIN SLUTS. Thanks for doing the infamous Bryanboy pose. Are you people like, poor? Why are you borrowing my wife’s handbags?????? *kidding*
I WANT SARAH LAWRENCE BOYS GOD DAMMIT. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK THAT BULLDYKES OUTNUMBER MALES IN THAT SCHOOL. WHERE’S THAT JEWISH FAG JORDAN? I WANT YOU ALL TO STRIP HIM NAKED AND COVER HIS JEWISH COCK WITH THE I LOVE BRYANBOY SIGN.
I also love Jonathan from Rhode Island and of course, Erin, who vandalized her arm for the sake of her love to me, queen of faggotry.
#5 – Ka-ka-ka-ka-karmmmmmmmma. Hahahahahahahahaha! I hope things are doing good on your end. Last time I’ve checked, people no longer store leftovers in plastic tupperware cases… they throw them away or feed table scraps to the dog! Ka-ka-ka-ka-karma! Karma mia… here we go again. My, my, how can I resist you?
#6 – Those religious fanatics are out to get me again!!! I don’t understand the hypocrisy of those religious fanatics. One minute they’d be reading my blog, the next minute they’d go all crazy because of the fact that I photoshopped my fabulous fugly face to an illustration of a woman wearing a nun’s outfit. Look mother fuckers, isn’t homosexuality is a sin? Then what the fuckin hell are you doing on the website of the gayest gay that ever gayed? Go away before you turn into salt. Visiting this site means that you support me and my faggotry.
#7 – Remember kids, Podcast #005 is out now. My recent podcast is dedicated to the best city in the world, Paris. Click here for more information and hear me sing Vanessa Paradis’ JOE LE TAXI.
#8 – I have 1,622 emails I need to reply to. I PROMISE I’LL REPLY TO THEM ALL.
I LOVE YOU ALL
AND I FUCKING LOVE FENDI!!!!!
AND FENDI LOVES ME SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!
All of you sluts know how to get a hold of me. Email email@example.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
PS. Discuss this blog post here.