Bryanboy.com - Fashion Blogger
7:20 pm

Sustenance for the Soul, Fashion First Before Comfort, Guess Who Came For Dinner?

10/02/2006, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Friendships, Press Coverage

Sustenance for the Soul

This is one of the main reasons why life is worth living.

I know the best things in life are often (very) expensive – I’m not gonna be a hypocrite… I’m gonna be soo happy if I got a brand new Maybach, a crocodile Birkin IN NEON PINK with diamonds, a gorgeous De Grisogono watch or a new massive pink diamond Graff ring that’s huge enough to create a fuckin hole as big as the Grand Canyon on someone’s face when I punch them… but hey… I’m not gonna complain if something is being given to me for free.

It’s not everyday that I get very sweaty, young, aspiring porn star males with construction worker-like bodies from Canada take their shirts off and pose for the camera.

Neil001

Neil

Neil002

I’m telling you… it’s images like these that pretty much keep me going. Images that depict your unconditional love serve as vital life support to my dreary, dull life.

Even Jessie and Natalie (from Malaysia), sent their love from the fabulous The Datai in Langkawi. Lucky bitches… I NEED A BEACH HOLIDAY!!!!!!!

Lovedatai

Lovedatai001

What are you waiting for?

Everyone’s got a friggin camera these days – digital cameras, webcams, mobile phones, whatever. Be creative and take a photo of your love. Email bryanboy@gmail.com. Be creative… please? None of those photoshopped crap.

I would literally cream my pants if anyone of you manage to get an entire gang of muscled fire fighters (or any men in uniform for that matter) strip and hold a sign over their genitals. I’d die a happy old woman if that happens.

*hint hint*

Fashion First Before Comfort

Last night was funny. I’ve never had a fashion failure moment (thanks to sheer stupidity) in the longest time.

I got invited to a friend’s birthday party at a local bar yesterday night. Everyone should wear blue because duh, it was a blue-themed party.

You see, I’m generally confident in whatever I put on. I usually just don’t give a shit whether my clothes look good on me or not. It’s always about how I feel, my mood and my attitude. To some, yes, I look fabulous. To most, well, I look like fashion roadkill. Whatever. What really matters is how I feel. If I feel good in spite of others thinking I look like crap, good.

I literally had nothing to wear yesterday. I thought I’d give my navy blue men’s (it’s the smallest for men’s… in my books, it’s OVERSIZED) velvet dinner jacket a shot. I bought it last year and I haven’t worn it.

And since my mother was out, I thought I’d raid her wardrobe for good finds. That woman HATES it whenever my siblings and I go to her closet.

I found a really old gold Chanel belt with stones. It’s amazing what kind of treasures I find in my mom’s closet.

I have no idea whether it can be considered as vintage. All I know is the fact that it’s old and several seasons ago. I think it’s the year when Shalom Harlow and Stella Tenant came out with those skin-tight, beige beaded Chanel dresses.

Navygold 

I wore the oversized navy blue velvet jacket on its own. I cinched (? I don’t know the right word) the sleeves down to my elbows. I wore the Chanel piece high up on the waist ala a Yves Saint Laurent. I thought the Charles Jourdan jeweled bag complimented the look.

With my hair slicked to the side, damn, I thought I looked smashing.

I thought I looked FABULOUS.

I arrived at the party alone. I said hi to DJ (the birthday celebrant) and to several familiar faces.

I was smoking outside – I HATE THE INDOOR NONSMOKING LAW IN THE CITY OF MAKATI. SOMEONE PLEASE ABOLISH THIS LAW BECAUSE IT’S KILLING ME FASTER THAN NICOTINE – and there was a table with several girls (who eventually introduced themselves… Hi MICHELLE :P) I didn’t knew who recognized me and said "Bryanboy!".

I’m still not used to people approaching me (don’t get me wrong… I love it… and I FUCKING ENCOURAGE IT… DON’T BE SHY, SAY HI… I DON’T BITE…. JUST DON’T LAUGH AT ME CAUSE I HAVE NO SOCIAL SKILLS WHATSOEVER AND I DO FEEL LIKE A TWAT SOMETIMES… hahaha) so I ended up getting all nervous. All I said was "sorry" and I ran to the toilets faster than the speed of light.

There weren’t a lot of people when I got there so it was kinda awkward. I didn’t want to play tails and tag along with people so I thought it would be best if I get a drink, smoke outside the bar and wallow in loneliness.

That’s when I started getting hot flashes… there I was, looking all cool and good then my forehead started to sweat like a rapist.

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WEAR A VELVET JACKET IN THIS HOT AND HUMID WEATHER ANYWAY?

I couldn’t bear it any longer so I bid my BRBs to my friend and told him I’m gonna go back home and change.

I HAVEN’T SPENT MORE THAN 15 MINUTES from the time I arrived!!!!!

It was HELL, I’m telling you.

I told my driver to bring me home and I settled for a Marc by Marc Jacobs top and my Chanel bag.

Ciaraandme

Djandme
(That’s DJ, the birthday boy and moi)

It was soooo weird cause for the first time (in such the longest time) I felt like a complete fuck-up. I said hi to familiar faces (when I’m not tagging along with DJ) and managed a few conversations here and there, but boy it was sooo strange. It felt like I didn’t know anyone.

That’s when reality hit me.

Maybe I don’t really know anyone.

I found myself standing alone in some occassions, smoking cigarettes, my eyes either wandering all over the place or just staring on the floor, whereas everyone is busy chit chatting.

I think the reason why I felt like I was an outsider is because I REALLY AM AN OUTSIDER… the classic fly-on-the-wall sort of thing.

I guess what it all boils down to is good ol classic social skills.

My fashion disaster ruined my mood the entire night so I left the party early. I stayed for about 45 minutes then I went home.

Shit, I got home at fuckin 1AM. GO FIGURE!

I wish I stayed longer… DJ’s been nothing but super super nice to me and it was a good party.

Guess Who Came For Dinner?

Wednesday night was a complete riot. I went to a good friend’s dinner party at Cuisine restaurant at my usual haunt, La Embajada.

Dinner_tina
(Happy birthday Tina!!!)

Dinner_ajmejackiemarco

Dinner_jacquesjackieiannejenni 

Dinner_timianne

Dinnertinadj

Dinnertinameianne

Dinner_me

I’m gonna get a haircut tomorrow.

My hair is sooo long even dykes look more masculine than me.

I’m gonna shop online. It’s been quite awhile since I bought something from the internet. Shopping real life is soo much better though.

Be sure to check my website out in a couple of hours cause I’m gonna create another podcast.

You all know where to contact me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

I love you all.

Baboosh!

1:33 am

Protected: Hello Superstar!, Dazzling Daphne, Ageing Gracefully

07/02/2006, Current Affairs, Press Coverage, Random Cheesemax, Shilebrities, Social Awareness

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

10:47 pm

Red is the Color of Love, Good Governance

04/02/2006, Clubbing, Loneliness, Love Life, Press Coverage

Red is the Color of Love

Gaststationchic002

10 more days and it’s Valentine’s Day. My ugly little brown ass is still single, just like it had always been (for the past 3-4 years).

I’m not being demanding. In fact, I’m probably the most reasonable person EVER.

I’m not even asking for a boyfriend. All I’m asking for is a date with a tall, cute guy who will buy me expensive dinner, expensive champagne and give me a tiny red box with a large shiny gift from Cartier.

ZagzagzagAnyway, I was cropping the latest batch of photos and I suddenly remembered (OUT OF NOWHERE) an online chat conversation I had with a French one-night stand. I met him a couple of days before I left Paris; we now talk on MSN (webcams and all) every once in a while.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: You know what’s weird? The older I seem to get, the younger guys I attract. I hate it. I need a nice man to protect me, not a friggin fetus. All of the guys I get these days are young ones.

Him: You get old… so they’re looking for a sugar daddy.

Me: Some of these guys have disposable incomes so I’m sure that’s not the case. But maybe you’re right. The young ones tend to be attracted to me because of what they see. They think I have money. Oh I hate it. I could never win in this game.

Him: Hahahaha! You are NOT classic enough for the old guy. You are too fashionable. LOL.

Me: I am not "too fashion"

Him: But you are young and young people are like that. Older guys, they want Ralph Lauren Polo and gray pants. SOMEONE THEY CAN SHOW TO THEIR PARENTS LOL

I wanted to slap the mother fucker right then and there.

When you think about it, maybe he’s right.

Perhaps that’s the reason why I’ve been single all along. I’m sooo OUTRé! I am soo in-your-face. Everything about me is distinct: my drug-fucked drag queen voice, my in-your-face clothes, my scary eyes, my trademark onion bulb nose etc.

Gaststationchic005

Maybe… just maybe… I’m good enough for a fuck.

Maybe two fucks. maybe three fucks.

No, make that four fucks.

Shit, I’m probably even good enough as a mistress… or someone in a relationship would cheat with.

Gaststationchic004   

But will I ever be good enough to be shown to someone’s parents, cigarettes, bad makeup, warts and all?

Gaststationchic001

I don’t know.

Nobody has tried!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAH

Perhaps the Frenchman was right this time.

Oh well. I’ll tone down when I get my Senior Citizen Discount card.

Gaststationchic003

By the meantime, I hope you enjoyed my paparazzi-style pics. I really need a full-time paparazzi to be on call on my shameless self-promotion PR shots. Hah! Anyone willing to take my photos for free? Email me. I have nothing to give other than sexual favours.

Good Governance

Believe it or not, it’s been quite awhile since I’ve set foot inside a gay bar/club here in the third world.

Government reopened its doors last night after a quick renovation and it was the perfect time to do a "GAY NIGHT" with gay friends and acquaintances.

Gaynightout004

Gaynightout001

Gaynightout003 

Bah, everyone is gay these days anyway. There’s the gay-curious brigade, the gay-acting straights, the gays-in-denial… the list goes on and on.

Gaynightout002

I had soo much fun yesterday… considering I only went out for no more than 3 HOURS! I lost a ton of weight from all that sweating, dancing and roaming I did around the club. I remember getting there at around 1:30AM and I got home at no later than 4:30! It was speed-clubbing at its finest.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Lancaster, Blackpool, UK, Houston, TX, Manama, Bahrain, Camberwell, VIC, Australia, Stettenberg, Bayern Germany, Moriyacho, Kanagawa Japan, Istanbul, Turkey, Oviedo, FL, Loughborough, UK, Lersen, Staden Kobenhavn Denmark, Tempe, NSW Australia, Malmo, Sweden, Boulogne-Billancourt, France, Askim, Norway, Tokyo, Japan and of course, all my friends from Micarone, Abruzzi Italyyyyyy! I love each and every one of you. Say hi, don’t be shy!

#2 – Big shout out to Altair Drexel of Kelowna, BC Canada! No… I haven’t seen Bareback Mountain yet. Feel free to burn my toes with a cigarette… I’ll watch it soon though. PROMISE!

#3 – I just found out not EVERYONE can view photos hosted on a Flickr website. Several people emailed me and there are some companies out there who blocked their servers from accessing Flickr. My oh my. Don’t worry though… I’m **THIS** close to coming to a solution. I’ll be hosting all my new images at a different hosting site now.

#4 – I HATE MY FRIEND LOUISE FROM SWEDEN. I made her 2 "I Love Louise" pictures and all I got was a crappy photoshopped piece of shit. You know how ****I**** despise photoshop. I’m not even gonna post what she made.

Louise

#5 – I can’t believe I missed the Goyard Boutique opening in San Francisco yesterday, Friday. It’s the first Goyard boutique in the world aside from the one in St. Honore in Paris! I’m truly honored to be invited (in spite of haven’t been to San Francisco in my entire life. Oi!) and I genuinely appreciate the gesture.

#6 – JUST KISS ME ALREADY. I AM TIRED OF PLAYING THE GAME. YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU, I KNOW YOU LIKE ME TOO. OK, MAYBE NOT. BUT PLEASE, FOR THE LIFE OF GOD, JUST FUCKING GRAB MY ARM THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME AND GIVE ME A GOOD TONGUE ACTION.

#7 – Small favor to those of you who live in the third world. Does anyone around here have a copy of yesterday’s (FRIDAY) Philippine Star newspaper? I have a photo there somewhere. Please, pretty please, look for my photo and scan it for me. I’m begging you. I’ll give you a kiss on the cheek and an oreo cookie if you do this teeny weeny favor for me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com. Thanks!

I think that’s all for now.

Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492. TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.

Be happy, be pretty and be gorgeous. Don’t do anything I won’t do.

Baboosh!

1:09 am

Lights, Camera, Talk Metro!, Stupid Girls

29/01/2006, Bryanboy on TV, Bryanboy.com, Current Affairs, Press Coverage, Shilebrities

Lights, Camera, Talk Metro!

Fuck! I THINK I totally fucked up on my LIVE interview earlier. I was sooo friggin nervous I ended up looking like a complete trainwreck… at least that’s what I felt. Cut me some slack though; I have the flu – fever, sore throat, cough and colds.

It’s a miracle I didn’t shat on my pants earlier.

Anyway, I wish I had illegal substances earlier to calm me down. I seriously would’ve opted for whatever River Phoenix had before he died outside The Viper Room.

DOWN SYNDROME in Dior Homme. That’s all I gotta say.

Tvinterview

If you got a dollar everytime you heard me sigh, cough, laugh, snort (like a coke whore), say "um" or "you know", you’d be a millionaire by now. Thank god I didn’t fart!

The only thing that was missing was a fuckin loincloth… at least I’d fit my "ooga wooga mooga" caveman TV persona.

Shit, even my voice sounded soooo gay.

My voice is friggin irritating.

I sounded like a stuffy-nosed Irish drag queen on crack cocaine.

Both my hosts, Philipp and Caroline (sp? I forgot her name), were complete PROFESSIONALS. The questions were spot-on, I enjoyed their humor and they did the very best to make me feel comfortable. They also tried to rescue me whenever I get tongue-tied.

It’s a great opportunity and a fantastic learning experience though. It’s not often that I get to be on TV.

Natural high galore… it was FUCKING EXHILIRATING and NERVE WRACKING at the same time.

I’ll be honest… I’m actually NOT disappointed with the outcome.

Why? Because I sorta had a clue that I’m gonna be shit on TV.

If I’m gonna be fine on LIVE TELEVISION, dontcha think I should’ve been on TV ages and ages ago?

Let’s face it… I’m not built for TV.

Save it for people with perfect teeth and those who use whitening products.

Shuuemura

What the heck… at least my makeup was good… thanks to my friend Xeng Zulueta, make-up artist extraordinaire (Shu Uemura). She got interviewed as well.

Ooooh I love Shu Uemura.

XENG… GIMME A LIST OF THE PRODUCTS YA USED ONE ME INCLUDING THE COLORS ETC SO I CAN BUY THEM WHEN I GO TO RUSTAN’S!

Xengzulueta

A family member (gasp) recorded the thing and the 20-minute interview is permantly etched on my head.

Note to people who are gonna be interviewed on TV soon:

1) Take lots of drugs. Get yourself relaxed by injecting the same stuff they use for lethal injections.
2) Learn how to speak eloquently. I sounded like a caveman on TV. Always remember: OOGA WOOGA MOOGA.
2) Stop making noises. In fact, do not MOVE. The only thing thats important are your eyes, your mouth and your clothes. Nothing else. Be a fuckin mannequin in front of the camera.
3) DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, INHALE or EXHALE throughout the interview. OXYGEN DEPRIVATION is the key for that perfect TV look.
4) Be straight to the point when giving out answers to your hosts. You have no time for mental block.
5) Xanax, Valium, Rivotril, Mogadon, Ambien, Vicodin. Swallow two of each and wash them down with a bottle of vodka.

Practice makes perfect. I know I’ll be better next time.

I HIGHLY DOUBT IF THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME.

Now I know what those American Idol rejects feel…

Talk Metro. Every Saturdays at 8PM on ANC (ABS-CBN News Channel). It’s also available to viewers around the world via TFC (The Filipino Channel). Check with your local cable/satellite TV operator if it’s available in your area.

Stupid Girls

I’m not really a fan of this obese platinum blond aryan whore named PINK but her latest video brings home the bacon.

Visit this link to watch Pink’s latest video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n–nptkx3w

God I LOVE pop culture: the eternal quest to having the perfect, emaciated body via eating disorders and drug abuse, the ridiculous clothes, the trashiest accesories one can wear that’s worth several months of an average person’s salary, the belief that sex sells, the liposuctions, the cosmetic surgeries and the need to look plastic… I LOOOOOVE it all!


Maybe if I act like that, flippin my blond hair back, push up my bra like that…

I like the bit where she said….

Oh my god guys, I totally had like 300 calories that is soo not sexy.

*ugh* *vomit* *ugh*

I WILL BE SKINNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Hahahahahahaha!

I love it. I really do.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Cataluna, Spain, Kent, OH, Trenton, NJ, San Angelo, TX, Chicopee, MA, Fall River, MA, Hastings On Hudson, NY, Shawford, NH, Kanagawa, Japan, Burwood, NSW Australia, Ostfold, Norway, Leuven, Vlaams-Brabant Belgium, Jaguh, Johor Malaysia, all my friends who live in Trollhattan, Vastra Gotaland Sweden and of course, my homies in Severna Park, MD. I love, love, love, love you all!

#2 – Bryanboy gives a huge shout out to all his lovers and friends from Melbourne, Australia, especially Suz. Thanks darling, you’re sooo sweet.

Nikki (from Queens, NY if I’m not mistaken) sent me a picture of his love. In spite the fact that he didn’t show his face and he couldn’t spell my name right, it’s the thought that counts and I love him regardless.

#3 – I’m sure you people know how I despise photoshop. Here are 3 exceptions though. The first image came from Paul, who, in celebration of Australia Day, thought me and Cate Blanchett have similar features while the other one is from Joella who lives in Sweden.

This threesome photo brought a smile to my face, courtesy of a guy from Offtopic. I love it.. though that pic of me looks as if I have a hairy chest.

#4 – I didn’t go to that Paul Van Dyk event yesterday night. I’m not going out tonight either. I’m still sick. Not even the liquid strepsils thing I bought in Moscow last year could save my sore throat.

#5 – I finally found a webhost that offers at least 1 Terabyte of data transfer. Whew!! Dreamhost.com, say hello to Bryanboy.

I think that’s all for now. My throat, head, neck and back hurts. I think I’m gonna give birth now.

As always, you know where to contact me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh!

1:40 pm

This is a pen., Clumsy Cambon, Email from St. Bernadette

21/01/2006, Current Affairs, Press Coverage, Shilebrities

This is a pen.

You HAVE to watch this interview. Fuckin hilarious! I’m surprised that this SEVENTEEN year old Japanese kid didn’t cream his pants when Dakota Fanning hugged him.

Interview
Full video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfmHCBnT1aY

Although Dakota didn’t answer his questions well, I’m impressed with her professionalism and the way she handled the interview. How old is she anyway? 10? 12? Gosh.

Dakota

Put myself in her shoes and I would’ve reached out for my handbag and give the poor kid a shitload of xanax.

Clumsy Cambon

It’s official: WEARING YOUR CLOTHES MORE THAN ONCE IS CHIC AGAIN!

This is great news for all the little people out there (such as myself) who cannot afford to wear things JUST once.

You can blame the House of Chanel (no less) for this crime against fashion.

The folks at 31 Rue Cambon are having a grand day for sending Reese Witherspoon a dress worn by Kirsten Dunst back in 2002.

Reese

That aside, Chanel also sent Natalie Portman a dress that Debra Messing wore in 2001 and Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman 2.

Chanelfiasco

Chanel_3

The only lucky bitch in this world is Kirsten Dunst — she gets to wear everything first before handing them out to everyone!

Source: Celebworld

Email from St. Bernadette

OurladyofmaterialismI really don’t know what to say. You see, I receive far too many emails on a daily basis from people all over the world and this one bites the cake.

I don’t even know what to say/feel/react etc. Read it for yourself and tell me what YOU think.

Is it freaky? Is it too intense? Is it psychotic?

Don’t get me wrong, there’s something about psychotic people that I like. Perhaps I’m in need of therapy myself.

Read her email thoroughly. Perhaps she’s just playing around? For all I know, s/he could be a famous, wealthy and powerful person. I love it how I can get so delusional sometimes…

Scary

I’m quite intrigued on how s/he insulted me on the first paragraph of her email and then she opened up and then asked whether or not I’m a fake. CLASSIC!

Nevertheless, she did ask a serious question.

Am I the type who will use other people just to be somewhat happy?

After serious thought (oh yes), I’d say no.

1. I’ve dedicated almost my entire life in making MYSELF happy without the aid (or with minimal aid) of anyone else.

2. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why I’m still single; I’m not proactive or desperate enough to have someone to make me happy.

3. In most cases, I feel soo much better whenever I’m alone vs with a group of people.

4. I sought acceptance from others for several years, thinking that would make me happy… only to realize it’s not the acceptance of others that I need… it’s acceptance of MYSELF.

Now I won’t be a hypocrite and say I LITERALLY don’t need anyone to make me happy.

I do want people to be there in the event that I’m sad or when I need support. In fact, we all need some sort of a support system in place.

To cut this drama short, I think there’s only one person in the world that can truly make you happy.

And that person is YOURSELF.

I learned about this when many, many people failed me in the past.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Den Engelsen Hoek, Antwerp Belgium, Trber-Siedlug, Austria, Ryde, NSW Australia, Koppenbach, Germany, Flushing, NY, Rome, Italy, Procoio Nuvo, Italy, Kista, Sweden, Harwood Heights, IL, Boston, MA, Tarragindi, QLD Australia, Kugayama, Tokyo Japan. Identify yourselves bitches and say hello.

#2 – Long live Kate Moss. Buy the latest issue of W and see the goddess bask in her glory.

Kate

Someone feed her cocaine though; she’s gotten fat all over the years (I don’t blame here) no wonder she’s befriending La Lohan.

#3 – Bryanboy shouts out to all the beautiful people at Makeup Alley. I love each and every one of you.

#4 – I don’t give a shit whether or not my website takes forever to load. IT’S A SIGN FOR YOU TO DITCH YOUR NASTY DIAL-UP CONNECTION AND GET SOMETHING FASTER.

Besides, my site is worth the wait. Say yes ya fuckin twats.

#5 – Holy mother of god. Miuccia Prada is notorious for ONLY sending out aryans on the catwalk. I’m quite shocked that she sent this guy on the Miu Miu runway. I WANT those shoes. I’m GONNA have those shoes.

00190m
Source: Men.Style.com

#6 – Next week is haute couture week. I’m sure Mouna Al-ayoub and those billion dollar taitais are en-route to Paris. Lucky mother fuckers. I can only dream to be just like them one day… oh well. Poor Nan… I still can’t get over the fact that Mrs. Kempner is now six feet under the ground.

#7 – Why can’t I find a god damn boyfriend? I know I’m not the best looking person out there but surely there must be someone half-decent in this country who likes me.

#8 – How to Lose a Pound in 10 Days. Click here.

#9 – I just found out that an anorexic’s best friend is a can of good ol diet coke. Apparently if you drink a can of this in the morning, you won’t feel hungry for the rest of the day.

#10 – This is one of the best emails that I received in the longest time, especially on the bit where Brad said "Of course, you’ve heard it a zillion times and you probably print these emails out and use them to wipe your ass but I just had to make it a zillion and one."

Brad

Bradlovesme

Err, Brad, um, err… I actually print these emails and eat them. Sometimes I sprinkle salt and pepper for taste. I can seriously survive on these cause they’re fat free.

Thanks sweetie for the lovely and kind words.

Couture Fittings?
Dates with gorgeous people?

BRAD OH BRAD.

I HOPE YOU’RE NOT HALLUCINATING!!!!!!!!!

YOU’D DIE OF SHOCK IF YOU KNEW HOW HARD AND LONELY MY LIFE IS IN THE THIRD WORLD.

You see, NOBODY and I mean NOBODY likes anyone who is a flamer, brown and have a nasty nose… like me.

A lot of people in this country are sooo obsessed in people who:

a) looks half chinese
b) looks half spanish
c) looks half something something
or
d) looks like a pale mother fucker with all the skin-whitening crap they put on their faces and bodies.

One of my acquaintances said the best thing ever earlier in the week: PEASANTS NEED LOVING, TOO!

This is why I love travelling. Whenever I set foot on a foreign land, I’m queen of the nile… little miss l’exotique at its best.

A shitload of wrinkly, sex-starved people visit this country for sex tourism.

I on the other hand, GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY just to keep my sex life updated.

Seriously though… you won’t recognize me if you see me walk around the streets of the third world… i look like miss plain jane!

Here’s a dare: get me a decent date around here and I’ll give you a kiss on the cheek, a dollar and an oreo cookie.

Oh…

And be sure sure he’ll pay for dinner.

and champagne.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

More updates later.

Y’all know where to contact me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

I love you all, as always.

Baboosh!

8:28 pm

Meedja Whore, Lindsay Lohan for Vanity Fair

20/01/2006, Current Affairs, Press Coverage, Random Cheesemax

Meedja Whore

My trip to the grand dame powerhouse of all things media – TV and Publishing was FUN! FUN! FUN! Who whould have thought I’d get a nice, little tour of what goes on behind the scenes where the money factory is? Alright, the only thing that was missing was a trip to a radio station.

Nevertheless…

Let’s play pictionary shall we?

First off… I met this guy. He’s the son of a really famous actress who is now a politician. His name is Lucky if I’m not mistaken… yes mother fuckers… he’s that LUCKY for having Vilma Santos as his mom.

Hisnameislucky

I *KNOW* what you’re thinking.

Moving on…

We went to a studio where a noon-time show is being broadcasted live. THEY WERE HANDING OUT MOTORCYCLES FOR FREE! It was soooo surreal!!!!! I stood backstage and I saw 2 motorcycles right pass right in front of me.

Wowwowwee

Studio3

And then we went to another studio and got to see all these TV things…

Tvsets

And of course, I had to get my picture taken with this guy. He’s a famous actor here in the third world.

Pioloandme

HANNAH MATRONIC EAT YOUR HEART OUT!

Ugh. I’m cringeing with shock, awe and horreur with all these cheeky fun. I LOVE IT though. HAHAHAHA!

Anyway, I saw him in flesh and he was running off somewhere.

Perhaps the highlight of my tour was the fact that I FINALLY got to see what a publishing house looks like. If you only knew how monumental it was for me.

Abscbn001

Abscbn002

(One thing I forgot to ask is why on earth there aren’t there any half-naked models going in for go-sees?)

You see, back when I was a child, I wanted to be a doctor. Then I realized I didn’t want to operate on all things lifeless (i.e. my dolls).

When my imaginary friends came into the picture (i.e. the SAME dolls), I decided I wanted to be a teacher. I talked to my stuffed toys all day and all night as if they were my students.

Seriously.

My parents bought me everything a teacher had; a blackboard, chalk, eraser, lesson plans and class record books where you write down your students’ grades.

I was 12 years old. Oh the memories.

When that inevitable thing called "ageing" hit me, I thought the perfect job would be that of working in a magazine.

You know… something really piss easy, like being an accessories editor for a fashion magazine… like yYou get your own page and all you do is pick 10 good accessories and bam, effortless work.

It’s only until last year that the truth came out.

Working for a publication will suck the blood out of your body and drain you like a whore. 

I now have soo much respect for people who work in magazines/newspapers.

Nuclear Wintour is another story though.

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Lindsay Lohan for Vanity Fair

060104_lohan_vmed11a

I think my interview with one of the top magazines went well. I guess I’ve always been tongue-in-cheek and I’m just not used to be asked serious, in-depth questions. Today was quite different. Not even aluminum hydrochloride saved my palms from sweating. I did, however, answer in the best way that I possibly can (hey… practice makes perfect).

I’ve been interviewed several times in the past (mostly newspapers) and luckily, everything that has been published about me were 100and20% positive with no regrets whatsoever.

I have to admit I’m kinda feeling a little worried. But hey, it’s all about trust.

I sent a text message to some of my friends informing them where my new domicile would be in the event my self-depreciating mouth got me into trouble.

Especially the part where I said something about who I think is cute in local showbiz. Oh god. How embarassing.

1. I shared more than what I should’ve shared about my crappy childhood. It’s true though. I didn’t have true friends. Most of my classmates were two-faced homophobic bitches and my teachers came from hell. I sincerely hope they turn into fucking ashes.

Wait… they will!

2. I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. Never have, never will. And I will never be ashamed that all I got was Bs and Cs in school… add the Ds to conduct and religion.
3. I’m certified member of Home Hermits Anonymous; I usually spend 16 hours a day in front of the computer and I’m not fucking ashamed about it.
4. Contrary to what people think, I only go out once or twice a week and most of my "real friends" are limited to that of the healthcare sector – my manicure and pedicure gal, my aesthetician (Belinda), my hair stylist (Dennis of Provost) and my doctor (Dr. Andrew).
5. I’m really a loner.
6. My name is Bryanboy and I propel anorexia.
7. I’m kidding. It didn’t go THAT far.
8. You’d be shocked as to WHO I said the one person (in the Philippines) I’d love to meet.

Enough revelations.
Don’t worry… I’ll scan the interview when it goes out.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

Love_001_2 #1 – Bryanboy loves people from Livorno, Toscana Italy, Vienna, Austria, Kisa, Sweden, Gilles Plains, SA Australia, Forsby, Sweden, Buskerud, Norway, Jakarta, Indonesia, Auckland, New Zealand, Temecula, CA, Richmond, TAS Australia, Seattle, WA and of course, people from Annandale, NSW Australia. Identify yourselves bitches and say hello!

#2 – Many, many, many thanks to my hosts at ABS-CBN Publishing for the warm reception… and the scrumptious lunch!!!!

#3 – You know where to send imagery of your love. Email bryanboy@gmail.com. No photoshopped photos please!

#4 – Why is it soo damn hard to find SIZE 14 men’s shirts in Manila? The smallest size Paul Smith have is SIZE 15 or 15.5!!!! There’s a market for slim people out here you know? I know I’m starting to look like a malnourished African child complete with a bulging tummy and thin arms but hey, I need shirts too! If you know of a place where I can buy customized/tailored button down shirts (in Manila), please let me know. DON’T TELL ME I HAVE TO GET MYSELF FATTER JUST TO BUY MEN’S CLOTHES CAUSE I’D RATHER FLUSH MYSELF DOWN THE TOILET THAN CHANGE MY BODY WITH THE AID OF ANYTHING EDIBLE.

#5 – This photo screams LOVE. LOVE, LOVE and LOVE!

Stunning

#6 – Yes mother fuckers. Even people from Hamburg, ARKANSAS (HOW FAR IS IT FROM ALTUS????) love my pose. Thanks Ginger. You all look absolutely stunning and gorgeous. I love you all!

And if that person wearing a red jacket is a guy, please tell him that I’d rather see him naked.

Bryanboypose_1

Bryanboypose002

Bryanboypose003

Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous!

As always, you know how to get a hold of me. Keep those emails and text messages coming. Bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Stay young, stay pretty and stay beautiful. Don’t do anything that I won’t do.

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Baboosh!

1:50 am

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20/01/2006, Bryanboy.com, Fashion, Press Coverage

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3:53 am

Offtopic, Summer is Coming, Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

08/01/2006, Current Affairs, Press Coverage, Random Cheesemax

Offtopic.com

There goes my US$4.95.

I have to tell you people… I lurrrrrrrrrrrrve those folks at that forum Offtopic.com. The people there have been talking about me non-stop. Some guy even started a thread saying I’m probably the gayest person in Myspace (see my myspace profile).

Camel

One guy then asked the group whether the person below is me or not… and then some minimum-waging sweetheart showed off his photoshop skills and superimposed my blowjob pic there.

Ohmygod

I love it! HI-FUCKING-LARIOUS. Thanks for making my day. Money well-spent. :)

Summer is Coming

Summer is fast approaching in the third world. Expect the battle of the beautiful bodies and the cellulite freaks in 2 months.

As always, boys have it all on the easy side. All they need to do is to ditch that beer, inject some steroids and start working out at the nearest gym.

Girls have it tough though.

I swear to god, I am so going to have this picture blown up to a posterific proportions and post it in front of my fridge.

I don’t care what one has to do to get that perfect body. I’m taking up bulimia classes first thing Monday morning and I promise I’m gonna take pictures of my first puke.

Even Lindsay Lohan admitted to drug abuse and purging. You go girl! Show these fat mother fuckers that the only way to lose unwanted pounds is by channeling Kate Moss and purging out our inner Fiona Apples.

No, I’m not surprised.

Rolemodel 

That lucky Nicole bitch has it all – the visible rib cage, the flat stomach, the gorgeous pelvic bones, lanky arms, the visble leg gap… everything a girl needs to look perfect on the beach.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

1. Bryanboy loves people from Bordeaux, France, Atlanta, GA, King of Prussia, PA, Cleveland, OH, Dreieich, Germany, Leaside, ONT Canada, Desert Hot Springs, CA, Madison, WI, Wakarusa, IN, Sykesville, MD, Geneva, Switzerland, Vienna, Austria, Ong Lee Village, Singapore, Dublin, Ireland and of course, my homies in La Habra, California. Bryanboy loves y’all! Identify yourselves bitches by posting a comment on my blog.

2. Those Etnies shoes are nasty. Why get Etnies when you can get Etro. I want these damn sneakers. I bought a pair of these at Vivre.com for US$236.99 (formerly US$475). Aren’t they gorgeous?

Etro

3. Phoebe Philo resigned from Chloe (Vogue UK)

4. Where the hell can I get the new Tom Ford sunglasses?

5. I drink champagne in the morning, I drink champagne in the afternoon. I drink champagne in the bubble bath, I drink champagne in my dressing room. Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne!Thief

6. Some of the items stolen from me last year: Chanel sunglasses (2), various YSL and Chanel cosmetics, Lalique ring, Fendi squirrel key chain, travellers cheques, Dior watch, Piaget watch, Dolce & Gabbana flip flops, Marni necklace. I hope you’re having a ball with my stuff whoever you are. Just because I have a carefree attitude with my shit (i.e. I don’t store them properly or I just leave them anywhere) it doesn’t mean you people can take advantage of my vulnerability. Fuckin thieves.

7. Buy that Hotel Costes 8 CD. I bought it a couple of months ago and I’m still listening to it religiously.

8. The folks at the Valet Shop of Manila Shangri-la hotel need a good spanking. I called to ask what time they close and the lady told me they are open until 9PM. I got there at 8PM on Friday (in spite of having a bad cold and slight fever) and the shop was closed. The concierge said they close at 7PM not 9. Totally wasted my time.

9. More love from all over the world. By now you should know that true love comes in the form of photographs. NO PHOTOSHOPPED photos silvous plait. Email me prima facie evidence of your unconditional love at bryanboy@gmail.com. Be fucking creative god dammit. Go to your local fire station and get those firefighters hold that I LOVE BRYANBOY sign. Make them sweaty and get them naked.

I love these girls…  kisses, hugs and chanel bags for you two.

Love_

Love2

Lifearchives_1_1

10. I haven’t down a "Bryanboy Life Archives" tidbit in a long time. For those of you who are new to this site, "Bryanboy Life Archives" is where I take out skeletons from my colourful and not-so-closeted past.

This photo was taken in London 6 years ago, back when I was barely legal. I used to smile back then. Oh how I miss those days.

Sooyoung

For more bits from the archives, click here, here, here and here.

11. Keep those text messages coming. Your messages of love and hate means a lot to a lonely mother fucker such as myself.

Stellar

Thought I’d let y’all know that I’m an equal opportunity blogger.

I don’t blog for a certain crowd. I don’t blog for a certain class. Hell, I don’t even blog for any type of people.

I only blog for… MYSELF!

Lovemeloveme

I think that’s it. It’s early Sunday morning (3:19PM) and I’m sick again. Damn cold and cough. I’m supposed to go out and have a ball. Fuck it, I’m sooo bored.

Rescue me from boredom. Entertain me mother fuckers. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com. SMS +63-195-785-1492.

Baboosh.

6:34 am

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07/01/2006, Current Affairs, Fashion, Press Coverage, Shilebrities

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8:11 pm

Vomit, Old Men, Keep the Love Coming

06/11/2005, Fan Art, Fans, Press Coverage, Random Cheesemax, Social Awareness, Travel

Vomit

Man, I have the WORST hangover ever.

I did a little "emergency" trip to my favourite club, Emba at around 1:30AM and got back before 6:30AM. Wore a black button-down shirt for the first time (in MONTHS!), striped Dolce & Gabbana trousers, Valentino belt, Frye boots and a wool Chanel bag.

I wish I took pictures but I left the damn camera in the car. Jenni E. looked ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS in her little orange number.

Believe it or not, I have remnants of vomit on my bedside table. The maid must have cleaned up my act while I was asleep.

I haven’t puked in the longest time. 

I wish I knew how much I puked though.

I wish I puked all the junk food I had yesterday… but knowing my body, I probably vomitted gastric acid and excess saliva.

Old Men

I spent 4 whole hours munching on junk food whilst watching Nip/Tuck on DVD yesterday. These 2 guys never cease to amaze me. If only our plastic surgeons are THAT good-looking and rich (ok, they’re not really good looking but they do have some sort of a sexual appeal), I’d be busy doing serious self-harm to get some car crash cosmetic surgery (and hopefully some fun fun sexual action) done.

Niptuck

Oh I am so bored out of my skull.

I just can’t wait to hop on a plane.

Let the countdown begin.

In less than 2 weeks I’ll be wearing my fall/winter regalia.

I **NEED** that mini winter wonderland holiday.

Screw everything at this point. I need a fucking vacation.

1 Month. 7 Countries.

I’ll be home before Christmas. ..

and then Boracay on New Year’s Eve.

I promised myself I’ll fill my 3rd passport with stamps before the year ends so I’ll have a new passport next year with a prettier photo. LOL

Next week is going to be busy; need to pick up my passport at an embassy cause they approved my visa… and then go to ANOTHER embassy the following morning for my appointment.

All these visa drama. Ugh.

Somebody just fucking give me a diplomatic or official passport already. Afterall, I’m doing a good job promoting the third world to the international community.

Hookers

Sucky sucky 5 dolla, me love you long time 10 dolla, you pay 20 dolla I gib free roast duck!

Think about it – why the hell should we bring tourism into our country when the country can export the Department of Sex Trade and Beauty Industry (aka me) instead ???

Suckysucky

International

Hookie

Keep the Love Coming

See, even people who go to couples therapy loves Bryanboy.

Couples

Big shout out to both of these boys doing the infamous Bryanboy pose. First one’s from Greenwich, London, UK and the other one is from Singapore.

Bryanboypose

Pose2

Keep the love coming.

Love comes in the form of imagery so it’s best to send your love via email – bryanboy@gmail.com.

Try to avoid "photoshopping" please.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Montpellier, France, Bedok Village, Singapore, Bangkok, Thailand, Reseda, CA, Jurong Town, Singapore, Souspierre, France, Helmond, Netherlands, Spearwood, WA and Box Hill & Ascot Vale VIC Australia and of course, people from Osaka, Japan! Bryanboy loves you all – identify yourselves bitches and say hello!

#2 – Take a look at Style.com’s top Spring/Summer 2006 models. They all have funny looking eyebrows.

#3 – Why does papaya have a weird aftertaste?

#4 – Can someone please tell me where I can buy high-quality but cheap fur jackets & coats/exotic animal skins/etc in Beijing?

#5 – I NEED A SUGAR DADDY TO SPOIL ME GOOD… SPOIL ME REALLY ROTTEN. PLEASE BE YOUNGER THAN 35, THANK YOU. AND YES, IT IS POSSIBLE TO CONCEIVE A CHILD AT 12 YEARS OF AGE.

#6 – Happy Birthday Astrud Crisologo!

#7 – THAT Embassy better approve my visa application. I OWN STOCK (AKA MINORITY SHAREHOLDER – I’M POOR) in one of their country’s BIGGEST companies.

#8 – Courtesy of MadeinBrazil.com – the New Gucci Boy (S/S 2006) is Michael Camiloto. Gorgeous son of a bitch eh?

Camilotonewgucciboy

Ugh. Enough male model fantasy.

Hannah Matronic, remember how I told you that we shouldn’t be fantasizing about male models (well, Filipino male models) because they’re poor, they’re dull, they’re poor, they have STDs, they’re poor, they shoved their cocks up some dirty old fag’s asshole, and best of all, they’re gonna end up as prostitutes in the future?

#9 – Danish government provide prostitutes for the disabled – at the taxpayers’ expense. Quick! Let’s all move to Copenhagen PRONTO!

#10 – I’d love to see someone with a low-hanging scrotum wear those denim shorts. Click here to see more from "Butch".

S065 

As always, you know where to contact me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh!