- Fashion Blog
7:26 am

Fun, Fun, Friday, Taho

06/05/2006, Fashion, Food and Drink, Manila


050606_fridayFun, Fun, Friday

First things first. Many, many thanks to Alana Tourin, a writer for the Ottawa Citizen who mentioned my fabulous self. I also got published on the Ottawa Citizen, a newspaper in Canada. It looks like her article for the Ottawa Citizen got syndicated by the folks at Edmonton Journal so her piece hit two stone at once! FANTASTIC! Isn’t it amazing how a third world low life nobody such as me get mentioned on newspapers where eskimos play hockey, where marijuana is legal and its citizens wave flags with the maple leaves? *kidding*. I LOVE CANADA!!!!!!!

OK I look scary on that photo. —>

The article is available online to subscribers only so you may have to subscribe. Don’t worry, I’m still giving blowjobs to members of the Canadian embassy/parliament so they can send me a hard copy that I can scan and post online.


Click here to read the article.

Moving on….

I went to the big city yesterday afternoon. It’s the 2nd time this week that I went to the big city. Amazing eh? I’m supposed to be the domesticated queen of the south, away from the bright lights, the booze and the toxic, fake people with the phrase "LIP SERVICE" stamped on their foreheads.


It’s a good thing I went to the city in broad daylight. 1PM to be exact. I brought our maid’s daughter, who is currently spending summer in our house to visit her mom, as my paparazzi for the day. I’m surprised she takes good pictures. Shit, even better than Eunice. I miss Eunice though.

God I love looking gorgeous. Money can’t buy class but money can definitely buy beauty…. oh and moneycan induce attitude. Screw class at this point… they don’t call me the new-moneyed classless bitch from hell for nothing.

Long live the gaudy gladiators!


Foulard by Louis Vuitton, Sunglasses by Gucci, bracelet by Hermès, oversized tank top by Calvin Klein, silk cardigan by Roberto Collina (Italy), jeans by Acne, boots by Frye, handbag by Dior, necklaces by Irene’s Closet.

I’ve always taken pride with my onion bulby noise and my nonexistent chin and jawline but seriously, I wonder what I would look like if I finally went through the knife. I believe in natural beauty. We should be happy on what god had given us… but I’m really, really, really curious what I’d look like if I had a nose job and a chin implant done. I’m too scared though!!!!!!! I think I should just be happy with myself.


That Dior Gaucho bag is HUGE, I’m telling you. I have the double saddle version for US$1,995. It’s available at Dior boutiques worldwide, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Bergdorf Goodman and the like. I even called one of my friends because this is a bag that I don’t get to use often. I probably have used it no more than 5 times. If you’re interested in buying it from me, let me know. I’ll even throw in an autographed picture of my cock if you want.


Don’t you think our maid’s daughter takes good photos? It makes me realize how BLESSED I am in this world. I need to lose weight though.

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been wearing cardigans the past few weeks to conceal my flabby arms.


Shit, I used to tease my young sister for wearing sweaters and cardigans when it’s fucking 37 degrees celsius (or 98 degrees fahrenheit) out to cover her fat and now I’m going through the same thing.


I also went to Rustan’s, my favourite department store in Manila. It’s been ages since I last went there. I didn’t have the chance to roam around to check the goods but I get to go to the VIP Services section (a third world faggot of my calibre deserves nothing but VIP treatment. KIDDING. HAHAHAHAHA) and I bumped into my friend Mariko, her artworks are AMAZING, and his super adorable (I wonder if it’s MUSCLES inside that blue shirt) assistant.

Mariko and I had lunch at Cibo (my fave Italian snackerie), followed by dessert at a cafe inside Rustan’s called "Eat". I also got a little tour around Rustan’s. Someone please give me US$20,000 so I can buy a new watch. Please? I give good blowjobs and I’ll even swallow your population paste no matter how bad the taste is.

Here’s the obligatory paparazzi picture of the day.


Behind me is one of Manila’s biggest malls, Glorietta. They’ve got Paul Smith there, "masstige" and other "affordable luxury" (that’s the term I learned yesterday hahah) items. The tall building is called "Oakwood". It’s a "posh" place where all these corporate white expats, who live here in the long term, fuck their filipino brown pussy loot. *I’m kidding.* I’ve never been there but it’s supposed to be a plush "residence" type thingie.

Mariko and I went to Glorietta to buy magazines. We bumped into Liza of the fabulous THEFASHPACK blog. I LOOOVE her accessories! Look at how she customized her LV speedy!!!


We all had to go on our separate ways and what’s a trip to the city without paying a visit to the house that monogram built? My Mexican buddy Mauricio, who is now in Spain, fainted when I told him I went to LV. Thank god there aren’t any monograms in sight. That man would fly first class to the third world just to strangle me if I get anything monogrammed.

I’ve been eyeing this epi leather tote. It’s soo gorgeous!


Yes mother fuckers, Louis Vuitton cover some of their bag handles with plastic. There are people out there who think they are "know it alls" and say LV never does that. Well, the camera doesn’t lie.


I went home after Louis Vuitton. I was tired, knackered and sleepless from the previous night.

Overall, I had a fun Friday. Domesticated goddess my fucking ass. I want to be a taitai! TAI TAIs of the world UNITE!!!!!!

Guilty Pleasures

Anyway, I thought I’d share some of my guilty pleasures.

I visited my grandma down south on Thursday afternoon. I try to visit the old brown lady as much as I can because she’s not getting any younger. I’m trying to get her to walk but her lazy fat ass would rather be pushed on a wheelchair by one of her maids. She’s the most stubborn person I know. She’s 80-something years old, she can still walk and everything but she’d rather do it the easy way and take a ride on the wheelchair. The only time she’ll stand up is when she raids the larder to eat. I love my grandma to bits though. There won’t be a Bryanboy without her eggs.

Here’s a Filipino delicacy. It’s called "taho". I know it looks disgusting…. but it tastes soooo good.

Taho is basically made out of bean curd, liquified sugar and those pearly things called "sago". People usually buy them in a cheap plastic cup but I can’t get enough of this stuff so I asked them to give me a shitload in a bowl.


I haven’t had tahoo in years and now is the best time to indulge myself in such delicacy. It really is delicious. I usually ask the taho man to put a lot of the sugary syrup and those pearl thingies.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE TAHO! It’s not even expensive. I spent like P15, or around US$0.25 cents (YES, 25 CENTS) for the entire bowl.

For more information about Taho, visit the blog Dessert Comes First. You’ll even see what a taho man looks like!!!


Click here to visit the site.

Oh, oh oh, my subscription to US Weekly has finally arrived. I used to spend sooo much money buying US Weekly at the gas station. I hate how shops in the Philippines jack up the prices of such trash rags. I remember paying US$8 for each issue… screw that. Now that I’m a subscriber, I can finally oogle on my celebrity obsession.


It’s one thing to visit my fave celebrity gossip sites, Celebworld, PinkistheNewBlog, SocialiteLife and PerezHilton, and it’s another thing to see everything IN PRINT!!!!!!!!!

God I’m sooo white trash, I mean, whitewashed (in the third world no less) it’s not even funny anymore.


I think that’s all for now. I’m gonna do a huge Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax in a bit.

More updates later.

I love you all, as always. Email (AND because my other email might be fucked up). You can also send me text messages at +63.915.785.1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.



Since there aren’t any guys out there who would strip naked and cover their crown jewels with the I LOVE BRYANBOY sign, I decided to take up lesbianism instead.





Oooooh Imagine the fun eh? IIIII NEED A HOT SEXY FAG HAG SO I CAN PLAY THIS GAME!!!!!!!



OOoh la la eh?

Until then.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

3:38 am

Protected: Black Saturday My Fucking Ass

16/04/2006, Current Affairs, Fans, Food and Drink, Manila, Press Coverage

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11:58 pm

Envy… Envy Me, Beautiful Day, This is Summer

25/02/2006, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Fashion, Loneliness, Love Life, Manila, Random Cheesemax

Envy… Envy Me


Saucer of Gucci Envy please.


I’ve somewhat lost interest in blogging over the past few days because of this big, bad world I live in. There are many, many cold-blooded and resentful people out there who have nothing to do in their lives. Their bloodstreams overflow with venomous bile hence the need to spread hatred to others.

If you’re gonna talk shit about me or other people, please…. for good times’ sake, be careful (and selective) as to who you talk to.  You’re only making yourself look worse (you already LOOK bad darling) when your bitter messages reach the person you are talking about.

All I can say is… envy breeds malice, spite and ill-will. Why can’t these people get over with their own personal failures and insecurities?

Let me share some quotable quotes. They came from THIS article published by The Catholic News… don’t ask my why I quoted them in the first place. I don’t know what to tell you other than the fact that I’m satan’s shopaholic spawn. Shopping is my religion and the mall is my temple.

"Envy eats away at the insides of its victim, and from its self-torment malice ensues. Envy is particularly adept at noticing and pointing out the faults of others. What I cannot have, I will besmirch or bring low. Or I will say it’s not worth having in the first place."

"A levelling instinct dominates envy. It grows naturally, as Aristotle observed, in relationships between equals. If we’re all equal, why should you stand out? Envy is the besetting sin of all professional groups, a fact most noticeable in the faculties of universities, but not only there, of course. You find it also in prayer groups. The envious prayer group member finds it extremely galling that other people can pray “better” than he or she can. "

"Envy confuses being equal with being identical. We all have equal rights before the law, and equal access to God. But life is otherwise a field of unequal distribution. No matter where I look there’s someone who has something I don’t have, or something I have but in a finer way, or simply more of what I have. Comparison only condemns me to ceaseless torment. "

"The antidote to envy, on the other hand, is growth in self-love and self-acceptance. The envious are not grateful for, or happy in, what they are or what they have. They feel that they are nothing and their nothingness is exposed by the success, achievement, or good fortune of others."

Click HERE to read the full article.

On that profound note, keep in mind that the ultimate form of revenge to these bottom feeders is success.

Gucci Envy ME, anyone?


This blog entry goes out to people who deserve to read this message.

Besides, only the guilty knows what on earth I am talking about.

Set this is stone mother fuckers: don’t drag me into your acerbic and foul lives. Live… and let live. I **WILL** be fucking successful regardless of whatever it is that I want to achieve in life.

I know bad grass NEVER die so… fuck you. Fuck EACH and EVERY one of you.

Moving on…

Beautiful Friday

I got up early yesterday morning cause I have a "Beauty Day" date with a friend. The first thing my mom told me was for me to stay indoors unless I wanna die.

You must have heard all the politics-related insanity going on in the capital of the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.

Riots or no riots, war or peace, heck, I don’t give a flying fuck if all hell breaks loose… I was fucking determined to get my hair done…

… and that’s exactly what I ended up doing.

I met up with friends at H-Salon in Rustan’s Makati to get a color and highlights. I LOVE that place. The service is good and Henry is a doll! I’m gonna go there for color from now on for color.


I thought I’d get my eyebrows done while waiting for their turns to finish their treatments.


Man, it was TORTURE! I wailed like a pregnant bitch who is about to give birth. I have a feeling it was my voice that stopped the riots yesterday.

Thank you Henry Calayag! I LOOOOOVE the color of my locks. I got a ton of comments last night how my hair is sooo nice. The pictures don’t do it justice.

This third world hell hole of a country can burn in hell for all I care but at least I’ve got FABULOUS hair!


Don’t get me wrong… I love my country…. but I have to love my own ass first.

Seriously… some of these people should just stop all these riot/protest nuisance. It was effective for the first 2 times… but you can’t recreate the past. You’re scaring the tourists away and you’re destroying the economy, including my livelihood. Being the local dollar earning prostitute that I am, how the fuck am I supposed to get well-hung clients from far flung places?

Ugh. I don’t even wanna talk anything that has to do with politics. It’s a touchy subject and the only time I’ll talk about it in great detail is when I’m holding public office or when someone with ill-gotten wealth adopts me.

Anyway, yesterday was productive. I accomplished a lot of things. I bought 2 delectable clutch bags. One of them is real snakeskin and the other one is faux croc. I LOVE the way you open/close the bag. These lovely confections will drive a bag thief insane – it took me several hours to figure it out.


Yves Saint Laurent bag, Dolce & Gabbana eel skin and kid fur clutch, Mulberry bag, DSquared shirt, Tim Camino t-shirt.


I love my new Mulberry bag. It looks a bit weird in photos but it’s lovely in person. The color is astounding.

Yes mother fuckers, I’ll update later today. PROMISE!


Mulberry bag, Hermes scarf, Goyard wallet, Goyard agenda, Alain Mikli eyeglasses, Gucci sunglasses, Shu Uemura face powder, Yves Saint Laurent concealer, pens, ipod, lighter, cash, passport.

I ***LOVE*** my Mulberry bag!!!!

It was a good day overall. There must be something in the air. Heck, we even went to the cinema to watch Big Momma. Celine and I packed far too many calories yesterday. We had 3 meals yesterday… in a span of 8 or so hours… oh, and I had 3 enormous scoops of Haagez Dazs ice cream while watching the movie. 

We all went home after the film. I was exhausted at the end of the day. 

And a little depressed.

7 of us went to the movie theatre. A gay couple, 2 straight couples and good ol singleton me.



This is Summer

Even my 2 younger sisters have boyfriends even if I don’t like them that much. Fuck love and fuck being in a relationship.

I have to rely on myself to get love. It’s only ME who loves ME, MYSELF and I.

Until I find someone who will love me, I’m gonna love myself by pouring out my frustrations by shopping.

This is summer right here. Well.. part of it. LOL.

Save the 5-inch Chloe shoe/sandal and Versace clip-on earrings for a rainy day. I wanna to dress up like a whore once or twice this year.

Dior Homme (can’t remember) tuxedo vest, Ann Demeulemeester tank, Paul Smith shoes, Dolce & Gabbana jacket, Dolce & Gabbana t-shirt, Dolce & Gabbana polo shirt, David Szeto pearl necklace, Fruit cowboy boots, Chloe shoes, Versace clip-on earings, Marc Jacobs bag, Dior sunglasses, Tom Ford sunglasses, Marc Jacobs sunglasses, Zodiac chrono watch, Dior Homme tie, Versace pin, Louis Vuittn bag, Strenesse caftan, Ike watch, Etro sneakers, Eme Jota gazelle fur bag, Oscar de la Renta faux croc portfolio clutch, Nancy Gonzalez python minaudiere.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Ca Quarta, Veneto Italy, Cambridge, UK, Cagayan De Oro, Philippines, Chicago, IL, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Long Beach, CA, Braddock, PA, Mount Laurel, NJ, Hawthorn, VIC Australia, Honolulu, HI, Easthampton, MA, Kilmacanoge, Wicklow Ireland, Cote D’Azur, France, Kanagawa, Japan, Toulouse, France, Roslyn, NY and of course, people from Liberec, Czech Republic. I love each and every one of you mother fuckers. Email me and tell me you wanna fuck my fanny.

#2 – Watch out for Podcast #4 coming out in 6 hours!

#3 – See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. YOU ARE EVIL.

#4 – Geography is no boundary when it comes to unconditional love and the infamous Bryanboy pose. Here’s one from good ol New York.


#5 – Be sure to go to my Discussion Forums. Say hi, don’t be shy.

I’ve had it. I’m gonna work on my podcast and post here in a bit.

More updates later.

Talk to me you maggots! Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

It’s almost midnight here and I’ll be awake for the next 6 hours.

I love each and every one of you. Someone please buy me a Boucheron watch!


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

1:42 am

“Girls Are Too Much Time”, Notice to the Public, Bryanboy’s 2006 Resolution

31/12/2005, Current Affairs, Manila, Random Cheesemax

"Girls are Too Much Time"

says this guy’s own mother.

Meet Farris Hassan, a 16 year old American Republican past-beyond-the-twink stage who went to Iraq on his own to experience and understand what Iraqi people are going through.


This guy skipped school in order to fly to war-torn Iraq.

What on earth was he thinking? Click here to read the full article.

Dude, I may be obsessed about Chanel but I wouldn’t go to 31 Rue Cambon in a heartbeat. It requires wayyyy more than a business class flight on Singapore airlines.

Notice to the Public

#1 – I’m sorta incommunicado from the rest of the world. I still haven’t gotten a new phone because I’m not sure whether I left my phone and my wallet at a friend’s friend’s house (or his bar).

I’m going to get a new phone soon but I’m more concerned about the contacts and text messages on my Moto Razr. My phone contains numbers of various people I’ve met during my mini-winter escapade. Some of the messages (although short and nothing interesting) also have sentimental value to me.

My Goyard wallet also contains a handful of business cards (I think), particularly the ones from John Galliano’s assistants and store directress.

Please, please, please pretty please email me if you have seen my black Moto Razr and yellow Goyard wallet. Email

HorsefunI swear, you can even have my fucking phone. It’s my contacts that I need… all my friends, lovers and frenemies. I’m a lonely mother fucker without them.

#2 – I love it when people spread the word about my crassy self and my car crass crash web site. But I don’t like it when people use my name to sell things that doesn’t have the Bryanboy Stamp of Approval.

While they’re not saying anything negative about me, someone has been using my glorious name to spam various online forums and forwarding emails about how to make money on one’s website.

Bryanboy’s 2006 Resolution

1. I will eliminate bullshit in my life. This includes bullshit people and bullshit things.

2. 2006 will be healthier year for me. I will haul my fat ass to the gym, even if it’s by rickshaw.

3. I will spend 2-3 weeks on a volunteer thing either in Nepal, Mongolia or Tibet. When? I don’t know. But I most certainly will. Fuck 6-foot high backpacks though… I’m bringing Goyard! I want to do something for humanity even for once. Not that I already don’t do anything good for man-kind.

Alekspic4. I vow to find my own personal Aleksandr Petrovksy (sans marriage, kids, wrinkles and liver spots). I also vow to find romance in my life… that romance will come in the form of a little Oscar de la Renta number and I’ll wear it when I go to… Starbucks! I have to admit that the chances of this happening are slim to none because the older I seem to get, the younger (and poorer) the boys I tend to attract.

5. Someone will GIVE me a job that will allow me travel all over the world, all expenses paid. Why even bother applying for a job when someone can give it to me? All I gotta do is to find that special someone. God knows how I’m gonna pull this one off. Can I reiterate that I am good (I am VERY good) when it comes to sexual favours?

6. Logos will be kept at minimum during 2006. I promise to be more discreet. Expect a ton of alligators, polo players, Hs, Ys and interlocked Cs.

7. I will have my own apartment. Oh yes. I don’t care if my mom bought me a new queen-sized bed (apparently, I’m not yet ready for a king-sized bed) for Christmas! I will move out of my familia de horreur’s birdcage, by hook or by crook, so I can throw hallucinogenic drug-fuelled parties and STD-inducing orgies with all the town’s Tom, Dick and Harries.

I think that’s about it. I’ll be honest though – I’m not really big into these New Year Resolution things because laziness is my last name, procrastination is my best friend and it’s soo much easier to have a fuck you attitude on things.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Bethany, OK, Lambeth, London UK, Minneapolis, MN, Pantai Valley, Malaysia, Rochester, NY, San Francisco, CA, Chula Vista, CA, Blackpool, England, Summit Argo, IL, Madison, WI, Mountain View, CA, Syracuse, NY, Phoenix, AZ,  Las Vegas, NV, Highlands, TX and of course, people from Skåne, Sweden. Bryanboy loves you all! Identify yourselves, bitches and say hello to me, the national mascot of the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives!

#2 – Lovely. NOT! Thanks for corrupting my mind. You know who you are.



#3 – Just because I went travelling for a month and a half it doesn’t mean the photos of your love should stop. Bombard my email account with imagery of your love. I’m a sad little bitch this New Year (I was supposed to go to this island but I’m too exhausted of travelling). Email





I love these girls. I really do.



I love you all, as always.

Email me –! I’m a lonely, sad, miserable mother fucker with no phone and with no access to "friends".

Except for one (who, thank god, called my landline a few minutes ago.)


6:03 pm

Mabuhay! Welcome to the Third World.

28/12/2005, Manila

Mabuhay! Welcome to the Third World.

All the pores in my face are fuckin open again, thanks to the oh-so-glamorous third world heat and humidity.

I miss Beijing.
I miss Moscow.
I miss Stockholm.
I miss Copenhagen.
I miss Riga (oh yes…).
I miss Paris.



What you want…. baby I got it… what you need… do yo know I got it.. All I’m askin’… is for a little respect when you come home (just a little bit)… hey baby (just a little bit) when you get home (just a little bit) mister (just a little bit).

But I definitely missed the third world. There’s (still) no such place like home. 

Even if my home looks like this.


or this


and not this


I’ve been gone for a month and a half and nothing has changed in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.

I went to Cuisine last night to meet up with old friends. As always, they (and only they) look fabulous.

There were a shitload of vienna sausages last night, the stench was awful.

Straight Filipino men.

Bah. All show and no action.

They’re probably the most egotistical and pretentious creatures in the world, the stench is sooo strong their egos make up for what lacks in their jewelry department.

Vienna sausages, anyone?

God I’m so pale I need to go to the beach and catch up with my tan.







Oh the pretense of it all. It’s all fun!

This is what I love about this place….and this is the place that I call home.

I have a cocktail party to attend in about 5 hours and I need to get my fat ass beautiful. I’ll unleash the power of Chanel tonight.

I love you all, as always.