Why does my ass have to be extremely big?
I’m too embarassed to post photos of my ass online but I’ll do so anyway because I have no sense of shame and I’m one heck of a fucking attention whore. You know I know that you know (confused? hah!) I’m only doing so that you’ll post silly comments like "you don’t really have a fat ass" when in reality, my ass is sooo fucking huge it belongs to a fucking hippopotamus.
The good thing is, my extremely obese batwings are getting smaller as each day comes. One more lipo session next week and I’m gonna be thin, thin, thin… I hope! *fingers crossed*
More camwhorage after the jump…
Typepad Outage Outrage!
[BREAKING NEWS: SONNY BABY, THANKS FOR LEAVING A COMMENT ON MY SITE. ALL THE PHOTOS YOU TOOK FOR HINTMAG/LANVIN/BALENCIAGA/AND ALL THE AUTUMN/WINTER 06/07 ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE A FANTASTIC PHOTOGRAPHER! IF EVER YOU DROP BY HERE IN THE THIRD WORLD PLEASE TAKE A PHOTO OF ME AND MAKE ME LOOK PRETTY AND E-M-A-C-I-A-T-E-D. Photoshop if you must. LOL I’ll even give you blowjob if you take super super nice photos of me. Otherwise, keep those Bryanboy poses coming (shit, Fendi used it on their ad campaign those assholes hahaha) and "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign pics. I’d die die die die die and I’ll forever be indebted if you can get either Werbowy, Stegner, Boscono, Zimmerman, Galliano, Lagerfeld, Elbaz or Ghesquire to hold a sign hahaha. *kidding*
Visit Sonny Vandevelde Fashion Photographer Extraordinare’s blog at http://www.sonnyphotos.typepad.com/. Click here to see the work he did for Hintmag. Everything from Yves Saint Laurent to Rochas, Lanvin and Balenciaga. Names, names, names. He’s your man! He’s the reason why fugly mortals like me try hard to catch an eating disorder (I eat too much) and/or salivate over pictures of THE beautiful ones!!
I LOVE SONNY AND I LOVE HIS FRIENDS ALREADY!!!!!! Hahahaha! Here’s his friend Marc. Woohoo!
OK. I have a TV interview tomorrow so it’s wise for me to just do my daily flush while it’s early and go straight to bed. Early to bed, early to rise, makes an ugly fat faggot pretty, skinny and wise!
(You gotta congratulate me. I just embarked on this popcorn diet and boy I got diarrhea today!!!!!!!! Remember what I said before? Diarrhea and dehydration is your best friend.
I’m fuming with anger! Typepad has a lot of explaining to do cause some of my new entries, drafts and comments got lost. It’s not just my blog that got affected but hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of other Typepad-hosted blogs.
I have no idea why Typepad crashed yesterday. According to BlueOregon, Typepad went down for six hours … I’m sure it’s longer than that cause I didn’t go to bed till around 7AM my time. I was patiently waiting for Typepad to be back up cause I wanted to post something about my latest obsession, Tyra Banks. I’ll talk about her later…
Sunglasses by Gucci, t-shirt from Topshop, jacket from Dries Van Noten, bag from Chanel, corduroy pants from Christian Dior, boots from Chanel
I went out this afternoon to do some errands. I LOOOOOVE THE WEATHER! Rainy season is the best time of the year here in the third world. It rained cats and dogs over the past few days… it’s sooo beautiful outside, gray skies and all.
Hospital and Haircut: Pretty Faggot
"The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?"
I looooove Pretty Woman!!!!! Who the fucking hell knew that old fart with salt and pepper hair, Richard Gere, was fucking HOT back in the dark ages? Man, I wasn’t even born when this film was made. Ugh!!!! I can’t believe he’s sooo hot back then.
Yesterday afternoon was productive. I originally planned on having a massage but I ended up at the hospital (and the mall) instead.
Black t-shirt from Topshop, oversized sleeveless striped v-neck top from Zara, sunglasses from Gucci, bracelets from Hermès, Bill Amberg and Topshop, necklace from Mimi (Philippines), bag from Balenciaga, jeans from Acne Jeans (Sweden), super old sandals from Bragano by Cole Haan.
I really should stop smoking. I’ve been feeling sick over the past several days… since last weekend to be honest. That’s why I didn’t go out. God forbid my lungs give up on me. I think I’m gonna visit my doctor first thing tomorrow afternoon when I wake up.
Also, I’ve been having weird sleeping habits lately. In fact, I slept at 1AM last night, only to wake up at 8:30 in the morning. I had an early lunch then I spent the rest of the day sleeping. I’m currently spending the next few days at my grandma’s – don’t ask. Too much drama involving the familia de horreur. I think it’s best to keep it amongst ourselves (and a handful of my closest friends). I’m on dialup so I’ll do a quick post.
"I exuuuuuuberate fantasticisms"
WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL IS THE WORLD COMING INTO?
I’ve been outgayed by this platypus faggot in the Bronx, NY. Here I am thinking I’m the gayest gay that ever gayed… but wait until you see this.
"Where do I put my mink? I’ll put it on the floor even though it’s EXXXXXXXXpennnnnsive!"
Video and more commentary after the jump.
If These Walls Could Talk!
I would like to say "thanks" to the Pied Piper of Manila, Carlos Celdran (and his fabulous & highly-recommended walking tours) for NOT BEING AVAILABLE on a bloody Thursday. Carlos!!!!!!! I hope you’re
listening to me reading this… it’s about time that you clone yourself! I was gonna send a fellow blogger over to you but you don’t have any weekday tours available. Thanks to you, I lost soo much weight from an hour’s worth of walking. I burned so many calories I think I might have reached my exercise quota for the entire year!
I got up at 10:30AM yesterday after my little KFC extravanganza. I wanted Gareth to see one of Manila’s top tourist attractions (other than myself, of course) so I picked him up at around 2:30PM.
Protected: Back to regular programming… Today’s 6/6/6! Camwhore Time! Bryanboy does Lunch! Yes, Lunch!
Excessively Preppy. Office Worker Chic
Boy oh boy, what an unbelievable weekend I had. It rained cats and dogs on Saturday night and it was pouring parties left and right. The awful H2O that fell from the sky didn’t stop my preppy-wannabe ass from hopping from one party to another.
I left the house at 7PM and it wasn’t even raining. As soon as I crossed the territorial borders of the big city with the bright lights, it started to pour. A friend called and even suggested that I should unleash the fur and the Jacket-a-wheelers cause it was pissing down with rain. Thank god I brought a Dior Homme dinner jacket with me.
Super super drunk but I still look fierce. And fugly. Look at the face. Hahaha!
Too bad she called in late. I friggin wore a white top and beige trousers. Eeek! My dry cleaners will have a ball as soon as I send in my shit. LOL.
Hat by Chanel, top from Neil Barrett, fish necklace from Chanel, pearl belt (worn as necklace) by Chanel, faux pearls necklace from a flea market, B bag from Fendi, bracelet by Hermès, trousers by Prada, shoes from Louis Vuitton.