You are my sweetest downfall. I loved you first, I loved you first. Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth. I have to go, I have to go. Your hair was long when we first met. Samson went back to bed, not much hair left on his head. He ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed. And history books forgot about us and the bible didn’t mention us. And the bible didn’t mention us, not even once.
BRYANBOY LOVES REGINA SPEKTOR! Heck, even Galliano for Christian Dior (F/W06-07 Haute Couture) loves Regina Spektor.
I have to cleanse my soul and get rid of all the negative feelings in my bloodstream. I can’t remember the last time I wrote anything that involves self-pity so here goes.
I’ve somewhat lost interest in blogging over the past few days because of this big, bad world I live in. There are many, many cold-blooded and resentful people out there who have nothing to do in their lives. Their bloodstreams overflow with venomous bile hence the need to spread hatred to others.
If you’re gonna talk shit about me or other people, please…. for good times’ sake, be careful (and selective) as to who you talk to. You’re only making yourself look worse (you already LOOK bad darling) when your bitter messages reach the person you are talking about.
All I can say is… envy breeds malice, spite and ill-will. Why can’t these people get over with their own personal failures and insecurities?
Let me share some quotable quotes. They came from THIS article published by The Catholic News… don’t ask my why I quoted them in the first place. I don’t know what to tell you other than the fact that I’m satan’s shopaholic spawn. Shopping is my religion and the mall is my temple.
"Envy eats away at the insides of its victim, and from its self-torment malice ensues. Envy is particularly adept at noticing and pointing out the faults of others. What I cannot have, I will besmirch or bring low. Or I will say it’s not worth having in the first place."
"A levelling instinct dominates envy. It grows naturally, as Aristotle observed, in relationships between equals. If we’re all equal, why should you stand out? Envy is the besetting sin of all professional groups, a fact most noticeable in the faculties of universities, but not only there, of course. You find it also in prayer groups. The envious prayer group member finds it extremely galling that other people can pray “better” than he or she can. "
"Envy confuses being equal with being identical. We all have equal rights before the law, and equal access to God. But life is otherwise a field of unequal distribution. No matter where I look there’s someone who has something I don’t have, or something I have but in a finer way, or simply more of what I have. Comparison only condemns me to ceaseless torment. "
"The antidote to envy, on the other hand, is growth in self-love and self-acceptance. The envious are not grateful for, or happy in, what they are or what they have. They feel that they are nothing and their nothingness is exposed by the success, achievement, or good fortune of others."
On that profound note, keep in mind that the ultimate form of revenge to these bottom feeders is success.
Gucci Envy ME, anyone?
This blog entry goes out to people who deserve to read this message.
Besides, only the guilty knows what on earth I am talking about.
Set this is stone mother fuckers: don’t drag me into your acerbic and foul lives. Live… and let live. I **WILL** be fucking successful regardless of whatever it is that I want to achieve in life.
I know bad grass NEVER die so… fuck you. Fuck EACH and EVERY one of you.
I got up early yesterday morning cause I have a "Beauty Day" date with a friend. The first thing my mom told me was for me to stay indoors unless I wanna die.
You must have heard all the politics-related insanity going on in the capital of the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.
Riots or no riots, war or peace, heck, I don’t give a flying fuck if all hell breaks loose… I was fucking determined to get my hair done…
… and that’s exactly what I ended up doing.
I met up with friends at H-Salon in Rustan’s Makati to get a color and highlights. I LOVE that place. The service is good and Henry is a doll! I’m gonna go there for color from now on for color.
I thought I’d get my eyebrows done while waiting for their turns to finish their treatments.
Man, it was TORTURE! I wailed like a pregnant bitch who is about to give birth. I have a feeling it was my voice that stopped the riots yesterday.
Thank you Henry Calayag! I LOOOOOVE the color of my locks. I got a ton of comments last night how my hair is sooo nice. The pictures don’t do it justice.
This third world hell hole of a country can burn in hell for all I care but at least I’ve got FABULOUS hair!
Don’t get me wrong… I love my country…. but I have to love my own ass first.
Seriously… some of these people should just stop all these riot/protest nuisance. It was effective for the first 2 times… but you can’t recreate the past. You’re scaring the tourists away and you’re destroying the economy, including my livelihood. Being the local dollar earning prostitute that I am, how the fuck am I supposed to get well-hung clients from far flung places?
Ugh. I don’t even wanna talk anything that has to do with politics. It’s a touchy subject and the only time I’ll talk about it in great detail is when I’m holding public office or when someone with ill-gotten wealth adopts me.
Anyway, yesterday was productive. I accomplished a lot of things. I bought 2 delectable clutch bags. One of them is real snakeskin and the other one is faux croc. I LOVE the way you open/close the bag. These lovely confections will drive a bag thief insane – it took me several hours to figure it out.
Yves Saint Laurent bag, Dolce & Gabbana eel skin and kid fur clutch, Mulberry bag, DSquared shirt, Tim Camino t-shirt.
I love my new Mulberry bag. It looks a bit weird in photos but it’s lovely in person. The color is astounding.
Yes mother fuckers, I’ll update InsideMyBag.com later today. PROMISE!
Mulberry bag, Hermes scarf, Goyard wallet, Goyard agenda, Alain Mikli eyeglasses, Gucci sunglasses, Shu Uemura face powder, Yves Saint Laurent concealer, pens, ipod, lighter, cash, passport.
I ***LOVE*** my Mulberry bag!!!!
It was a good day overall. There must be something in the air. Heck, we even went to the cinema to watch Big Momma. Celine and I packed far too many calories yesterday. We had 3 meals yesterday… in a span of 8 or so hours… oh, and I had 3 enormous scoops of Haagez Dazs ice cream while watching the movie.
We all went home after the film. I was exhausted at the end of the day.
And a little depressed.
7 of us went to the movie theatre. A gay couple, 2 straight couples and good ol singleton me.
JUST BECAUSE I’M A TRANSVESTITE HERMAPHRODITE, IT DOESNT MEAN I DON’T DESERVE TO BE LOVED.
SOMEONE JUST LOVE ME GOD DAMMIT.
This is Summer
Even my 2 younger sisters have boyfriends even if I don’t like them that much. Fuck love and fuck being in a relationship.
I have to rely on myself to get love. It’s only ME who loves ME, MYSELF and I.
Until I find someone who will love me, I’m gonna love myself by pouring out my frustrations by shopping.
This is summer right here. Well.. part of it. LOL.
Save the 5-inch Chloe shoe/sandal and Versace clip-on earrings for a rainy day. I wanna to dress up like a whore once or twice this year.
Dior Homme (can’t remember) tuxedo vest, Ann Demeulemeester tank, Paul Smith shoes, Dolce & Gabbana jacket, Dolce & Gabbana t-shirt, Dolce & Gabbana polo shirt, David Szeto pearl necklace, Fruit cowboy boots, Chloe shoes, Versace clip-on earings, Marc Jacobs bag, Dior sunglasses, Tom Ford sunglasses, Marc Jacobs sunglasses, Zodiac chrono watch, Dior Homme tie, Versace pin, Louis Vuittn bag, Strenesse caftan, Ike watch, Etro sneakers, Eme Jota gazelle fur bag, Oscar de la Renta faux croc portfolio clutch, Nancy Gonzalez python minaudiere.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Ca Quarta, Veneto Italy, Cambridge, UK, Cagayan De Oro, Philippines, Chicago, IL, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Long Beach, CA, Braddock, PA, Mount Laurel, NJ, Hawthorn, VIC Australia, Honolulu, HI, Easthampton, MA, Kilmacanoge, Wicklow Ireland, Cote D’Azur, France, Kanagawa, Japan, Toulouse, France, Roslyn, NY and of course, people from Liberec, Czech Republic. I love each and every one of you mother fuckers. Email me and tell me you wanna fuck my fanny.
#2 – Watch out for Podcast #4 coming out in 6 hours!
#3 – See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. YOU ARE EVIL.
#4 – Geography is no boundary when it comes to unconditional love and the infamous Bryanboy pose. Here’s one from good ol New York.
10 more days and it’s Valentine’s Day. My ugly little brown ass is still single, just like it had always been (for the past 3-4 years).
I’m not being demanding. In fact, I’m probably the most reasonable person EVER.
I’m not even asking for a boyfriend. All I’m asking for is a date with a tall, cute guy who will buy me expensive dinner, expensive champagne and give me a tiny red box with a large shiny gift from Cartier.
Anyway, I was cropping the latest batch of photos and I suddenly remembered (OUT OF NOWHERE) an online chat conversation I had with a French one-night stand. I met him a couple of days before I left Paris; we now talk on MSN (webcams and all) every once in a while.
Here’s how the conversation went:
Me: You know what’s weird? The older I seem to get, the younger guys I attract. I hate it. I need a nice man to protect me, not a friggin fetus. All of the guys I get these days are young ones.
Him: You get old… so they’re looking for a sugar daddy.
Me: Some of these guys have disposable incomes so I’m sure that’s not the case. But maybe you’re right. The young ones tend to be attracted to me because of what they see. They think I have money. Oh I hate it. I could never win in this game.
Him: Hahahaha! You are NOT classic enough for the old guy. You are too fashionable. LOL.
Me: I am not "too fashion"
Him: But you are young and young people are like that. Older guys, they want Ralph Lauren Polo and gray pants. SOMEONE THEY CAN SHOW TO THEIR PARENTS LOL
I wanted to slap the mother fucker right then and there.
When you think about it, maybe he’s right.
Perhaps that’s the reason why I’ve been single all along. I’m sooo OUTRé! I am soo in-your-face. Everything about me is distinct: my drug-fucked drag queen voice, my in-your-face clothes, my scary eyes, my trademark onion bulb nose etc.
Maybe… just maybe… I’m good enough for a fuck.
Maybe two fucks. maybe three fucks.
No, make that four fucks.
Shit, I’m probably even good enough as a mistress… or someone in a relationship would cheat with.
But will I ever be good enough to be shown to someone’s parents, cigarettes, bad makeup, warts and all?
I don’t know.
Nobody has tried!
Perhaps the Frenchman was right this time.
Oh well. I’ll tone down when I get my Senior Citizen Discount card.
By the meantime, I hope you enjoyed my paparazzi-style pics. I really need a full-time paparazzi to be on call on my shameless self-promotion PR shots. Hah! Anyone willing to take my photos for free? Email me. I have nothing to give other than sexual favours.
Believe it or not, it’s been quite awhile since I’ve set foot inside a gay bar/club here in the third world.
Government reopened its doors last night after a quick renovation and it was the perfect time to do a "GAY NIGHT" with gay friends and acquaintances.
Bah, everyone is gay these days anyway. There’s the gay-curious brigade, the gay-acting straights, the gays-in-denial… the list goes on and on.
I had soo much fun yesterday… considering I only went out for no more than 3 HOURS! I lost a ton of weight from all that sweating, dancing and roaming I did around the club. I remember getting there at around 1:30AM and I got home at no later than 4:30! It was speed-clubbing at its finest.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Lancaster, Blackpool, UK, Houston, TX, Manama, Bahrain, Camberwell, VIC, Australia, Stettenberg, Bayern Germany, Moriyacho, Kanagawa Japan, Istanbul, Turkey, Oviedo, FL, Loughborough, UK, Lersen, Staden Kobenhavn Denmark, Tempe, NSW Australia, Malmo, Sweden, Boulogne-Billancourt, France, Askim, Norway, Tokyo, Japan and of course, all my friends from Micarone, Abruzzi Italyyyyyy! I love each and every one of you. Say hi, don’t be shy!
#2 – Big shout out to Altair Drexel of Kelowna, BC Canada! No… I haven’t seen Bareback Mountain yet. Feel free to burn my toes with a cigarette… I’ll watch it soon though. PROMISE!
#3 – I just found out not EVERYONE can view photos hosted on a Flickr website. Several people emailed me and there are some companies out there who blocked their servers from accessing Flickr. My oh my. Don’t worry though… I’m **THIS** close to coming to a solution. I’ll be hosting all my new images at a different hosting site now.
#4 – I HATE MY FRIEND LOUISE FROM SWEDEN. I made her 2 "I Love Louise" pictures and all I got was a crappy photoshopped piece of shit. You know how ****I**** despise photoshop. I’m not even gonna post what she made.
#5 – I can’t believe I missed the Goyard Boutique opening in San Francisco yesterday, Friday. It’s the first Goyard boutique in the world aside from the one in St. Honore in Paris! I’m truly honored to be invited (in spite of haven’t been to San Francisco in my entire life. Oi!) and I genuinely appreciate the gesture.
#6 – JUST KISS ME ALREADY. I AM TIRED OF PLAYING THE GAME. YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU, I KNOW YOU LIKE ME TOO. OK, MAYBE NOT. BUT PLEASE, FOR THE LIFE OF GOD, JUST FUCKING GRAB MY ARM THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME AND GIVE ME A GOOD TONGUE ACTION.
#7 – Small favor to those of you who live in the third world. Does anyone around here have a copy of yesterday’s (FRIDAY) Philippine Star newspaper? I have a photo there somewhere. Please, pretty please, look for my photo and scan it for me. I’m begging you. I’ll give you a kiss on the cheek and an oreo cookie if you do this teeny weeny favor for me. Email email@example.com. Thanks!
I did cry for a little bit on my way back from the train station (where I dropped Jakob off cause he has to go back to middle of nowhere, Sweden) to the hotel. Thank god I had my brand spanking new Gucci sunglasses to conceal my tears.
(God I look awful on that picture.)
I’ll be honest. I haven’t cried in a long time.
Heck, I didn’t even cry when my grandfather died last year.
I don’t even know why the fuck I’m sobbing like a little bitch.
It seems soo petty and shallow, you know.
I bet you he’ll probably laugh it off (or feel embarassed) when he reads this post. Am I right, Jakob? Hah! *kiddin*
Nah, he’s a really cool guy. I’m glad that we met. I have to admit though, the chances of me and him seeing again are pretty much slim to none. History repeats itself and it’s ***ALWAYS*** been like that whenever I go on holiday.
I told him yesterday when we were walking around Copenhagen, "Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Birthday."
Here’s a funny pic taken on Friday (thanks Sebastian!!!!)
I look like a midget compared to all those guys. Ugh! Someone just make me 6 foot 3 already. Please? All I want for christmas is to be 6’3… or 6’4.
While true love comes in the form of a Hermes croc birkin bag or a Vacheron Constantin watch, looking at some of these pictures will suffice when I’m feeling shit.
Thank you, thank you, thank you all for loving me.
(Bryangirl in the making. She’s only 16 months old. Thanks Sharon!)
(Here’s some Swedish lovin’ lovin from Ola and Linn… they’re some of Jakob’s friends. The left sign says "Go for it Jaqy" aka Jakob.)
AL from the Philippines even had their maids do the Bryanboy pose. I love it! (Hello to JS!!)
I love girls from the land of kangaroos and gorgeous surfer boys.
Here’s a big one from Singapore. Bryanboy LOVES EACH AND EVERYONE of you.
Keep those pictures coming. A lonely, sobbing bitch like me can never have too much love. True love comes in the form of a photograph. Email prima facie evidence of your unconditional love to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Anyway, I need to get my head fixed. I’m gonna roam around Copenhagen for a bit, stock up on Georg Jensen and see more Danish people.
I need a good kick up my ass so I’ll *snap* *snap* back to reality.
I have a little gay video surprise for you all.
I’m cleaning up my digital camera and came across this small video of me posing in a club. Niklas must have pressed the wrong button and took a video instead of a picture.