I have a secret to share.
Remember how I bought that appetite supressant last week? Well, I’ve been taking those pills religiously for the past 5 days (Reductil 15 mg x 1 pill a day helps my appetite go away) and so far, I’m doing good. Here’s what my typical meal looks like.
I have an eating disorder. I’m kidding!
Camwhore Galore: Market!
First things first, I’d like to send a big shout out to Mrs. Pauline Suaco-Juan, Editor-in-Chief of the one top fashion magazines in the Philippines, Preview Magazine. One of my readers (thanks, Gia!) emailed me a link to a google archive of an article on the Philippine Star (one of the third world’s top broadsheets). She wrote an article, entitled "20 Trends that changed our lives in the last 20 years" and she mentioned my blog (woo hoo!) on item #7:
Hey, it’s not every day I get to see my name on the newspaper so allow me to indulge in this little brush with mediadom. Hahaha! Photo courtesy of Chuvaness.
7) Reality Bites
From Pinoy Big Brother to Bryanboy’s blog to "I-Me-My" journalism (the kind that’s really more diary than opinion column), Pinoys can’t get enough of the real and the mundane. Everyone’s jumping on the reality bandwagon for their five minutes worth of fame (and hopefully fortune). Following the lead of PBB alumni Sam Milby and Zanjo Marudo, many try the TV route and audition for one of the many contest format shows; many more are opting to write their own blogs, hoping to achieve even a fraction of the attention, if not controversy, Bryanboy’s site has generated.
LOL! Who knew I was controversial? Hahahaha! Thanks Pauline.
Before I spit my usual nonsense and pictionary bonanza, can I just say I’m dying? My upper left wisdom tooth is killing me. No wonder I’ve been having these headaches and fever the past few days — it’s my tooth that’s fucking me up! I simply CAN’T function at all!
I tried all sorts of over-the-counter/non-prescription drug out there (paracetamol, ibuprofen, mefenamic acid) and none of them are working. This is why I fucking hate the third world. It’s fucking easier to get ILLEGAL drugs from the street than get a narcotic. All it takes is a trip down the club, loitter around the toilets and wait for the powers that be to cough up a snowstorm — no prescription required! Fuck drugs though. My party and play days are best kept in the attict. Sober is the new black and I’d rather keep it that way. Besides, I’m not getting any younger. Who the hell wants to be found having a seizure in the club with your mouth foaming like a rabid dog with rabies?
Yes, I know I’m still obese. Deal with it, ya fuckin cunts!
To be honest with you, I don’t even think narcotics are available in this shithole. I know for a fact that vicodin is UNHEARD of amongst the pharmacies here. When I had a tooth extracted ages ago, the fucking dentist gave me ibuprofen. When I complained to an orthopedist about my excruciating back pain, the asshole prescribed me calcium supplements and a fucking ergonomic chair. I wouldn’t be surprised if cancer patients around here get paracetamol tablets. Shit, I’d rather jump off the bridge and kill myself if I found out I have cancer. That’s how terrible it is over here.
Why does my ass have to be extremely big?
I’m too embarassed to post photos of my ass online but I’ll do so anyway because I have no sense of shame and I’m one heck of a fucking attention whore. You know I know that you know (confused? hah!) I’m only doing so that you’ll post silly comments like "you don’t really have a fat ass" when in reality, my ass is sooo fucking huge it belongs to a fucking hippopotamus.
The good thing is, my extremely obese batwings are getting smaller as each day comes. One more lipo session next week and I’m gonna be thin, thin, thin… I hope! *fingers crossed*
More camwhorage after the jump…
Exercise is a very ugly word…
Indeed it is. But according to my Mexican friend Mauricio, I have to exercise a lot in order to truly shed off some unwanted pounds. Here’s a photo of my hideous batwings in full force — disgusting, innit?
Photoshop fun after the jump…
Typepad Outage Outrage!
[BREAKING NEWS: SONNY BABY, THANKS FOR LEAVING A COMMENT ON MY SITE. ALL THE PHOTOS YOU TOOK FOR HINTMAG/LANVIN/BALENCIAGA/AND ALL THE AUTUMN/WINTER 06/07 ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE A FANTASTIC PHOTOGRAPHER! IF EVER YOU DROP BY HERE IN THE THIRD WORLD PLEASE TAKE A PHOTO OF ME AND MAKE ME LOOK PRETTY AND E-M-A-C-I-A-T-E-D. Photoshop if you must. LOL I’ll even give you blowjob if you take super super nice photos of me. Otherwise, keep those Bryanboy poses coming (shit, Fendi used it on their ad campaign those assholes hahaha) and "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign pics. I’d die die die die die and I’ll forever be indebted if you can get either Werbowy, Stegner, Boscono, Zimmerman, Galliano, Lagerfeld, Elbaz or Ghesquire to hold a sign hahaha. *kidding*
Visit Sonny Vandevelde Fashion Photographer Extraordinare’s blog at http://www.sonnyphotos.typepad.com/. Click here to see the work he did for Hintmag. Everything from Yves Saint Laurent to Rochas, Lanvin and Balenciaga. Names, names, names. He’s your man! He’s the reason why fugly mortals like me try hard to catch an eating disorder (I eat too much) and/or salivate over pictures of THE beautiful ones!!
I LOVE SONNY AND I LOVE HIS FRIENDS ALREADY!!!!!! Hahahaha! Here’s his friend Marc. Woohoo!
OK. I have a TV interview tomorrow so it’s wise for me to just do my daily flush while it’s early and go straight to bed. Early to bed, early to rise, makes an ugly fat faggot pretty, skinny and wise!
(You gotta congratulate me. I just embarked on this popcorn diet and boy I got diarrhea today!!!!!!!! Remember what I said before? Diarrhea and dehydration is your best friend.
I’m fuming with anger! Typepad has a lot of explaining to do cause some of my new entries, drafts and comments got lost. It’s not just my blog that got affected but hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of other Typepad-hosted blogs.
I have no idea why Typepad crashed yesterday. According to BlueOregon, Typepad went down for six hours … I’m sure it’s longer than that cause I didn’t go to bed till around 7AM my time. I was patiently waiting for Typepad to be back up cause I wanted to post something about my latest obsession, Tyra Banks. I’ll talk about her later…
Sunglasses by Gucci, t-shirt from Topshop, jacket from Dries Van Noten, bag from Chanel, corduroy pants from Christian Dior, boots from Chanel
I went out this afternoon to do some errands. I LOOOOOVE THE WEATHER! Rainy season is the best time of the year here in the third world. It rained cats and dogs over the past few days… it’s sooo beautiful outside, gray skies and all.
Don’t ask me why I went to the hospital (again) on Wednesday morning. I had to do more tests and x-ray shots. Just cross your fingers and hope for the best. I wanna live old till I’m 75 and wear Oscar de la Renta… or Zoran for god’s sake.
Good goofy god lord almighty, when will it ever end?!?!?!?!?
At this point, all I can say is that I’m a walking, talking, Balenciaga bag-wearing Chernobyl victim with all the radiation I got exposed to over the past few days.
Sunglasses by Gucci, deconstructed denim jacket from Alexander McQueen, ‘Salt N Pepa’ t-shirt from Dsquared, bag from Balenciaga, shorts from this cheap store in the Philippines called "Details", shoes from Zara.
Hospital and Haircut: Pretty Faggot
"The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?"
I looooove Pretty Woman!!!!! Who the fucking hell knew that old fart with salt and pepper hair, Richard Gere, was fucking HOT back in the dark ages? Man, I wasn’t even born when this film was made. Ugh!!!! I can’t believe he’s sooo hot back then.
Yesterday afternoon was productive. I originally planned on having a massage but I ended up at the hospital (and the mall) instead.
Black t-shirt from Topshop, oversized sleeveless striped v-neck top from Zara, sunglasses from Gucci, bracelets from Hermès, Bill Amberg and Topshop, necklace from Mimi (Philippines), bag from Balenciaga, jeans from Acne Jeans (Sweden), super old sandals from Bragano by Cole Haan.
Bryanboy At His Rawest
People seem to have this impression that everything about me is fabulous. I don’t blame them because that’s the image I project: my life is fabulous, I love beautiful things, I drool over beautiful people, I go to nice places etc. Flaunt it cause you have it. Show it while you have it. Work it like you own it. Fake it till you make it. I dress like a princess but in reality I’m just a pauper.
In the past few months I’ve received no less than a dozen emails from people (shit, I dropped my cigarette on my crotch as I typed that sentence) with questions like "what does Bryanboy wear when he’s at home?" etc. I also get compliments from many, many people complimenting me about my skin, which I don’t really understand cause I have terrible, terrible awful skin. Hah!
It’s Monday afternoon and I just got up less than an hour ago. I’m dead bored so I figured, why not surprise you lot with what the OTHER SIDE of BRYAN looks like.
Take note of all that excess flesh… now you know why I’m promoting my watermelon diet… oh and all that stubble on my face. You probably don’t see it now but you will, later.
Anyway, all I wear at home is a plain ol tee and boxers. It’s all about comfort clothes here. No juicy couture sweats whatsoever. Sometimes I’d even roam around the house wearing nothing but some y-front briefs on.
Get your own blog at Typepad, just like mine! Free trial.
Now, If the image above isn’t shocking enough, the photo you are about to see will HAUNT you for the rest of your life and change the way you think of me — Le Superstar Fabuleux my fuckin asshole.