Bryanboy.com - Fashion Blogger
8:38 pm

What happened in April?

10/06/2007, Fun

What happened in April?

I want you to answer my question. My question is… HOW OLD ARE YOU?

On a side note, I could totally see myself having sex with that fag on the clip simply because of this priceless Judge Judy prank call moment.

2:59 pm

Postcards from the third world: Chalk Magazine (June 2007)

08/06/2007, Fun

Postcards from the third world: Chalk Magazine (June 2007)

OK. Will someone please snap me back to reality because I’m either a) currently in a k-hole or b) I’m hallucinating. Is it just me or is there something about Chalk Magazine’s cover (a mag in the flips geared towards college students) that screams HARPER’S BAZAAR? No, I’m not talking about the cover person and the clothes/style (duh) but the FONTS! THE HEADLINES! THE NUMBERS! To be honest with you, I find it oh so wrong whenever magazines use two-digit numbers on the cover unless they refer to years, like 75 Years of Vogue or 25 Years of Bryanboy’s Insanity. I mean really, mags should only use numbers on MAJOR things, like 895 Pages of Faggotry or 471 Cock Rings You Should Buy Now.

30?? 30+???? UGH! Try 345 or 689.

The logo looks sooo fucking wrong with the rest of the cover’s layout, yes? No?

Please photochop those arms. Obesity is at an all-time high in the flips and magazines should NEVER EVER send the message to people, especially young college students, that it’s ok to be fat. Just kidding. She’s fat, you’re fat, I’m the fattest — but at least you’ll never see me on the cover of any mag. If I do make it on a cover, I would go through hell fire and back to make sure their photo people, with the power of software and modern day technology, ensure that I look like I’m dying of starvation with my clavicles, sternum and god knows what other bones I possess, STAND OUT, by hook or by crook.

Repeat after me: fatty patty boom boom. We’re all swimming in fat. It’s a big, ginormous, FAT world out there so let’s kill ourselves.

4:00 pm

Partners in Crime

07/06/2007, Fun

Partners in Crime

My good friend Nicole rang me up a few hours ago and got jealous so here’s something that I took especially for her.

Vote now! Who do you like best? Paris or Nicole?

That’s hot. Loves it. Sa sa sa sa sa sa sa. Sa saaaaa!

9:50 pm

Free Paris! EXCLUSIVE PARIS HILTON PRISON PICTURES

06/06/2007, Fun

Free Paris!

Oh for god’s sake I’m turning into a webcam whore!

I’m telling y’all, it won’t be long until I wave my ________ in front of the camera. Click click click!

CONTINUE READING

7:34 pm

Fuck this shit.

06/06/2007, Fun

Fuck this shit.

I give up. I’m sooo hooked in this YouTube thing and I wanna make a proper proper hi/hello message but we all know I’m the least articulate son of a bitch in this planet (that’s why showbiz isn’t my thing). I originally thought it was gonna be easy but man, it’s sooo difficult! Before you bitch at me, why don’t YOU give it a shot yourself and tell me if this shit is easy. It’s NOT! I found myself tongue-tied often and I just simply didn’t know what to say. So much for spontaneity. Whatevs. All of my attempts are crap so what the heck, why not post them all? Go right ahead and have a good laugh on my stupidity expense.

Good thing my lip gloss saved me. Chanel baby Chanel. Click click click!

CONTINUE READING

2:49 pm

HOLY SHIT! I found the real-life Victoria Pollard!

06/06/2007, Fun

HOLY SHIT! MAH BABY.

Her name is Victoria, she’s American, she’s 15 years old, had bareback unprotected sex 300 times. I love it. I fucking love it! Fabulous.

Dat’s right I’m a playa. But datz coo. Becawz I gat it like dat.

Mah baby.

4:09 am

End of the world

04/06/2007, Fun

End of the world

I hate doing those stupid nasty online tests. You know what I’m talking about. I think they’re silly and crap. I thought I’d make an exception. You know armageddon is near when you get this as a result:

Your Score: Masculine

You scored 76 masculinity and 36 femininity!

You scored high on masculinity and low on femininity. You have a traditionally masculine personality.

The Bem Sex Role Inventory Test

LOW ON FEMININITY MY FUCKING ASS.

7:35 pm

Miss Universe/Miss USA Rachel Smith

29/05/2007, Fun

Miss Universe/Miss USA Rachel Smith

So Miss Japan won. Big deal. NOT! It was sorta kinda bound to happen anyway. If you look at the history of Miss Universe, it’s usually South American bitches who bag the crown. Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Venezuela, Colombia… you name it. Fucking hell, they might as well change the name of the pageant to "Miss Latin America". They really make beautiful girls over there. All the other contestants are mascots compared to the "Gisele" brigade. Oh dear. Oh well. At least an Asian got the crown. I bet you next year the winner’s gonna be African or Black — you know, diversity and all.

I’m sure y’all have seen Miss USA.

There’s something about Miss USA that reminds me of my favourite editor in the flips… actually, she’s the ONLY editor I like in the land of the brown, Mega Magazine Editor-in-Chief Carla Sibal. I think it’s the hair. And the tan. And thinspo thinspo galore. I loooove her. She’s really NICE and super chic in real life. The rest are just far too… oh I don’t know. It’s best to keep my mouth shut. Hah!


Photo credit: Chuvaness

Carla is WAYYY prettier. Hahah!

6:20 pm

Miss Universe 2007/Miss Philippines Anna Theresa Licaros

28/05/2007, Fun

Miss Universe 2007/Miss Philippines

THIRD WORLD REPRESENT! Homegirl better come home tonight with some sort of an award. Brown ricers for the mother fucking win!

She wanted to be a nun.
She wanted to be a doctor.
She wanted to be a bus conductor.
She wanted to try being bald/pull a Britney.

Click click click!

5:15 am

I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.

22/05/2007, Fun

I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.

I know I’m supposed to be amazed with this video but I ended up laughing soo hard because of the song. It’s soo fucking appropriate!! Ah the wonders of photo chop. I don’t know about you but she still looks festively plump on the final result.

If I had it my way, the end result should be this.

CONTINUE READING