First things first, a big shout out to my friend’s friends in Australia, Imee and Jong! There. I’ve said it. Do I get an LV bag this xmas? Jong? Are you reading this? Hahaha JK. I love the two of you and may your relationship last forever. Go forth and multiply you bitches!
Now, now. It’s very easy to look good these days. Everyone has means and ways to look cookie-cutter perfect.Oh who the hell am I kidding. What’s my excuse? LOL. IMO however, our flaws and imperfections makes us unique and special. Ladies, meet my latest internet discovery, the apple of my eye, Ms. Makeup Kailyn, 17 years old, of Bowie, Maryland, US of A!!!
No, she’s not Tessa Prieto-Valdes for you third world people.
Kailyn makes these awesome beauty tips and make-up tutorial videos on YouTube . She’s a lovely, adorable sweet girl and I think she’s cool. Hella, I think she’s fierce. Someone hand her an internship in the big city QUICK, before her local beauty salon poaches her. Click click click to see more of the future Pat McGrath!
Who did it best? Roberto Cavalli with his freaky attempt this year…
super Visionairey make-up master James Kaliardos who dressed as the Kaiser himself last year…
… or my thinspirational friend Catie (yes, she’s a WOMAN who went DRAG for the first time!! MAYYYJAHHHH gender bender fender galore!) who is capable of levitating right in front of the Chanel boutique? LOOK AT HER GOD DAMN LEGS!!!
Answers on a postcard!
I want to make a new video this weekend just for you know, shits and giggles. So tell me, what would you rather see me do? Reality TV with model wannabes or a 10-year retrospective of a famous American designer?
Answer now! It’s 5:40PM and I’m going to bed. I’ll start making the video as soon as I wake up.
I love you all as always.
PS. On second thought, I probably won’t be able to upload the video on YouTube because my OH SO FUCKING FABULOUS (NOT) internet connection is fucked up once again. It’s been like this for the past few weeks. If you’re in the third world and thinking of signing up for Globe Visibility — listen to me when I say DON’T. Do not, under any circumstances, sign up for Globe Visibility. You’re gonna get scammed! Although I like them for my cellphone service, I cannot possibly think of the worst internet service provider other than Globe Telecom. The fuckers are so aggressive when it comes to their ad campaigns but all they want is your money. Classic case of money, money, money come to me. Do you have any idea of what I’m going through right now? Well, check out my internet speed. I’m not even gonna bother telling you my whole ordeal with their clueless customer service reps. Sasakit lang ulo ko.
US$50 a month for glorified dial-up when my connection is supposed to be 1.4Mbps. I’m telling you, it’s like 1997 all over again! Heck, I might as well dig up one of them US Robotics 28.8K modems that I used back in the dark ages to chat on MIRC. Yes, the one with the alien invasion space battleship sounds. Check-out all the complaints (38 pages worth) that I found on a discussion forum. Isn’t it fantastic? Don’t you just LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE companies in the third world? What a bunch of bastards. They really should be ashamed of themselves.
Teaser: Faggotry in Motion
You’ve asked for it so now I’m gonna give it to you. Get ready for what I think is the most hilarious video I’ve ever made. It’s soo funny I guarantee you this video will make you laugh over and over and OVER. Give me a few hours. My internet connection is soo fucking fucked up it’s gonna take awhile for me to upload it on youtube.
By the meantime, here’s a clue.
GRILLZ FOR THE MOTHER FUCKING WIN!!!
Skiing anyone? Craigslist banned me :(
Oh my god. Oh my fucking god.
I googled something a few minutes ago and one of the search results is hosted on craigslist. I clicked on the link and lo and behold I got this error message:
This IP has been automatically blocked.
I haven’t been to craigslist in a while so this whole ip-address blocking thing is new to me.
Craigslist must have caught on me for
my attention-seeking antics lying about being 15. They banned my ip address! Where do I have to go to now to play "spot the half-something, half-filipino manwhore" or "sperminate the tranny and let’s go skiing, bb and raw" or "guess George Michael’s CD4 count"? I don’t want manhunt. That wretched site is filled with diseased circuit queens and Clay Aiken with herpes!
Sticker Mania! Paypal Now Accepted!
I have two good news to tell you! First off, the 2nd reissue of of my "I <3 Bryanboy" stickers arrived over the weekend, saturday to be exact. I had no idea why the company where I bought them took soo long to reproduce considering all I did was reorder the same exact sticker. Oh well. To prevent future snafus, I ordered more this time and hopefully it will cover me for a long time. The lovely folks who purchased stickers after September 10th were notified and should receive their orders shortly. In fact, I’ll go to the post office later this afternoon to ship them. I’ll also throw in some extra stickers as well.
The next thing I’d like to tell you is that I now accept paypal payments. Your wish is my command! I’ve endured so much pressure (and countless emails) from you guys over many, many months about taking paypal payments for my stickers. Now that paypal is available in the third world (click here to get your own paypal account), I can now take orders from those who want to pay via paypal!
For all sales generating from now until December 31, 2007, I’m donating HALF of the proceeds to my favourite charitable organization in the world, Trickle Up,
a charity focusing on helping and encouraging budding entrepreneurs in developing nations by jump-starting their own small businesses. In the past year alone, Tricke Up helped start/expand over 10,000 businesses around the world. The other half, of course, goes to my greedy little pockets. Just kidding!!! The other half will go towards my costs, i.e. production, envelopes, postage, cover paypal/payment processor fees, etc.
As always, the price of my stickers has remained unchanged. A packet of three (3) bumper stickers cost US$8.49, shipping/handling (ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD) is included in the price — and of course, my 100% handwritten, hand-prepared envelopes… envelopes that caused a little scandal in some online forum in the past. You know, some faggots accused me how it’s not really me who prepare the envelopes but my maid. THEY’RE WRONG! It really *IS* me who handwrite each and every envelope. It’s me who decorate flowers, hearts, clouds, stars, etc. using markers. It’s really me who individually lick each envelope to close them. I swear to god it’s me. It’s my DNA sample right there!!!
As an added bonus, I’ll throw in a surprise for the first 100 orders along with the stickers. I can’t tell what it is and the only way to find out is by ordering a packet. No two envelopes are the same so each person will get a different surprise. You know how Visionaire once sent out little fabric cutouts from Madonna’s Versace dress in the past? I was thinking of doing the same — like, I’ll probably cut out small squares from my old bags, clothes, cigarette wrappers, whatever etc. I don’t know. I could even send some of my hair… or cigarette butts. Whatever. It’s a surprise. I don’t care what you do with it — throw it away or get it framed, but the most important thing here is that you get to own a piece of me because I’m a star! Hahaha! Am I delusional or what?
Enough babble. If you would like to order my stickers via paypal, click the button below. If you would like to send the packet as a gift, kindly indicate the shipping address (on comments field) where I will send the envelope to. I’ve received several requests like this in the past, you know, college students who want to freak the hell out of their roommates/neighbours etc.
And there you have it! If you have any questions or concerns, as always, pop me a note via email.
I love you all!
Model Mugshots: Daul Kim
I know everyone had lots of laughs when I published my celebrity mugshots entry. Well, since we all love fashion (and Suzy Menkes), let’s move on to the models, shall we? Today we’re doing Korean model Daul Kim. HAHAHAHA!
Man I look so beat.
THOSE CHELSEA QUEENS ARE FAKE GAYS!!!
I’m telling you… those Chelsea queens are non-gay entities! They should be ashamed of themselves for even knowing what a pussy smells like. My favourite drag queens from Jezebel bought this perfume from Germany named "Vulva" which basically is the scent of a vagina in a bottle. They went to Chelsea in Nu Yawk, did a scent test amongst hairy fat queens and all of them (except the straight one) preferred Britney Spears’ new perfume over "Vulva".
How on earth do these "gays" know what a pussy smells like? I don’t know about you but if you were to ask me, ass is worse than pussy because ass smells like shit. That’s why I’m a bottom.
You know what’s even nastier? These hairy Chelsea fake gays probably like to rim hairy ass that is unwashed — we know Americans don’t wash their poop chutes after taking a poo. THINK OF THE DANGLEBERRIES!
PS. I *love* Jezebel. It’s my new obsession du jour.
PPSS. Why are there no beautiful, thin, smooth, young, pretty gay things like me in that video? Isn’t that a bit, erm, disturbing? They’re all hairy and large and festively plump. I’m telling you.. sissies like me are endangered species!!! Someone start a SAVE THE SISSIES MOVEMENT STAT!
Face Your Pockets
God I love them Russians. Y’all know I’m one heck of a Russophile right from the start so imagine the delight when I saw faceyourpockets.com. It’s a cool site, just like my Inside My Bag project (it was fun at first until people started sending "staged" submissions ugh. I’ll resurrect it again soon) where people take the contents of their bags, pockets, etc., place it on top of a scanner and scan, scan, scan away — face included. I’m not sure if I’m ready to scan my face yet. God forbid I end up like a Chernobyl victim with all that radiation blah blah. I dunno. I’m scared! Check out some of these submissions, including the first chick on the photo below. HOTNESS! Cool eh?
Source: Face Your Pockets
What are you waiting for? Scan, scan, scan away!