Elbert's Steak Room

As bitter as it sounds, I'm somewhat glad (oh who am I kidding) to be back in the cesspit of the third world called Manila. It's always nice to be home where I (don't) belong. Haha! ;)

There's no other way to celebrate the occasion than a scrumptious dinner with a friend at one of the country's finest steak houses: Elbert's Steak Room. Click click click!

CONTINUE READING

Yung Kee Restaurant, Hong Kong

What’s a trip overseas without making new gay friends? I love them gays! I really do. Most of my real-life friends (HUWATTT FRIENDS ?!?!?!) are often married geriatrics, and worse, married geriatrics WITH KIDS. Because of this, I sometimes forget that I’m a young gay person. HUWATTTT YOUNG GAY PERSON? Haha. JK.

ANYHOO. Johannes and Kenneth invited me for lunch at Yung Kee restaurant, famous (apparently) for its roasted goose. No we didn’t eat dog or baby pigeons, don’t be silly. Click click click!

CONTINUE READING

Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburgers

I love Americans. I really do. A HUGE chunk of my readers are based in the USA. I think they're amazing. I can't hate on them because web traffic from the US pay my bills. I talk to god knows how many Americans on a daily basis.

I want to understand them more but please explain this.

Source: flickr

Care for a Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburger? This was lunch at Google NYC's cafeteria.

Terry’s Bistro + Terry’s Selection

My friend and I were craving for steak so we went to this cozy place at Podium mall called Terry’s Bistro after the salon.

Click click click!

CONTINUE READING

Kimy Jelly Tongue

Don’t let the name put you off. I went to the convenience store last night to buy cigarettes and saw this ice lolly thing that’s covered in/feels like jelly. It’s soo good I could eat a dozen of this shit in one sitting. Take my word for it (which we all know is good as gold… sometimes! hahaha)

Kimy Jelly Tongue comes in different flavours such as apple (see below), bubblegum (which I found gross) and something else. Also, they’re so cheap… 12 friggin pesos or US 26 cents EACH!!!

I kid you not when I say this thing right here is the BEST thing EVER
in the Philippines. Try it today! Run, don’t walk, run!

Bryanboy’s "A-HA" Moment #16,310: Corelli’s Cafe, Newtown

The ever so helpful Patty offered my third world ass a ride to Sydney domestic airport earlier this week.  We stopped by Corelli’s Cafe in Newtown for a quick brunch. Y’all know me. In spite of my obsession with all things thinspiration, I’m a very voracious eater, I’m not picky and I’m willing to eat anything and everything edible. I love food! I really do.

Click click click!

CONTINUE READING

Slim Jim: Only in America

One of the members of my familia de horreur just got back from the USA land of the fatties and home of the brave and they thought of me when they bought this shit. Meet the most ridiculous food (FOOD???) entity I have EVER seen in my entire life, even more ridiculous than jerky. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Slim Jim.

Snap into a slim jim!

I’m honestly at a loss of words. This Slim Jim shit is crazy y’all, crazy I’m telling you. I could only imagine the people who eat this sort of crap lives in a trailer park in Kentucky somewhere. Y’all know I love the trailer class but this thing, whatever it is, has the colour of a turd and it looks like a small twig as thin and as big as a cigarette. It tastes like peppered cardboard. OILY peppered cardboard. It’s crunchy when you bite it but as soon as you start munching, it’s like chewing rubber. Gross.

Click click click!

CONTINUE READING

Potato Craving

It’s 4:12AM and I’m in desperate need of potatoes. I want to eat anything potato — fries, baked, chips, whatever except boiled. I have 2 potatoes right in front of me and I can’t, for the life of god, find the peeler. I don’t really know how to peel anything using a knife. I tried to peel the thing but I’m doing it wrong — they’re wayyy too thick.

Ugh. There must be a way. I need a potato fix!

4:30AM Update: I managed to figure out a way to peel them and I’m now in the middle of frying potato chips. Yep. Potato chips with salt, pepper, lots of shredded parmesan on top. Yummy!

Pizza Hut Chicken Wings

This blog entry is dedicated to the hottest girl in Paris who’s currently craving for Pizza Hut chicken wings. Thanks to her, I rang Pizza Hut and asked them to deliver.

Click click click!

CONTINUE READING

Oink oink

OMG I’m such a pig! LITERALLY and FIGURATIVELY. My sister gave me this huge ass jar filled with cookies and I’m determined to finish it all. I’ve been eating like mad!!! My fingers are practically covered in shit.

You stick your hand inside the jar, take one cookie out, take a bite, nibble, chew, swallow. Once you’re done, lick your fingers out like you’re sucking a big mean michael biserta’s dick — lick and suck it good — lick and suck it clean – before you stick your hand inside the jar once more for another round. Rinse. Repeat. I must have eaten at least 24 cookies. Honest! God damn I am soo going to hell. I’m so fat I can’t even wear a t-shirt or a tank-top anymore.

Cry me a river, will you?