Bryanboy.com - Fashion Blogger
11:58 pm

Envy… Envy Me, Beautiful Day, This is Summer

25/02/2006, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Fashion, Loneliness, Love Life, Manila, Random Cheesemax

Envy… Envy Me

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Saucer of Gucci Envy please.

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I’ve somewhat lost interest in blogging over the past few days because of this big, bad world I live in. There are many, many cold-blooded and resentful people out there who have nothing to do in their lives. Their bloodstreams overflow with venomous bile hence the need to spread hatred to others.

If you’re gonna talk shit about me or other people, please…. for good times’ sake, be careful (and selective) as to who you talk to.  You’re only making yourself look worse (you already LOOK bad darling) when your bitter messages reach the person you are talking about.

All I can say is… envy breeds malice, spite and ill-will. Why can’t these people get over with their own personal failures and insecurities?

Let me share some quotable quotes. They came from THIS article published by The Catholic News… don’t ask my why I quoted them in the first place. I don’t know what to tell you other than the fact that I’m satan’s shopaholic spawn. Shopping is my religion and the mall is my temple.

"Envy eats away at the insides of its victim, and from its self-torment malice ensues. Envy is particularly adept at noticing and pointing out the faults of others. What I cannot have, I will besmirch or bring low. Or I will say it’s not worth having in the first place."

"A levelling instinct dominates envy. It grows naturally, as Aristotle observed, in relationships between equals. If we’re all equal, why should you stand out? Envy is the besetting sin of all professional groups, a fact most noticeable in the faculties of universities, but not only there, of course. You find it also in prayer groups. The envious prayer group member finds it extremely galling that other people can pray “better” than he or she can. "

"Envy confuses being equal with being identical. We all have equal rights before the law, and equal access to God. But life is otherwise a field of unequal distribution. No matter where I look there’s someone who has something I don’t have, or something I have but in a finer way, or simply more of what I have. Comparison only condemns me to ceaseless torment. "

"The antidote to envy, on the other hand, is growth in self-love and self-acceptance. The envious are not grateful for, or happy in, what they are or what they have. They feel that they are nothing and their nothingness is exposed by the success, achievement, or good fortune of others."

Click HERE to read the full article.

On that profound note, keep in mind that the ultimate form of revenge to these bottom feeders is success.

Gucci Envy ME, anyone?

022506_guccienvyme

This blog entry goes out to people who deserve to read this message.

Besides, only the guilty knows what on earth I am talking about.

Set this is stone mother fuckers: don’t drag me into your acerbic and foul lives. Live… and let live. I **WILL** be fucking successful regardless of whatever it is that I want to achieve in life.

I know bad grass NEVER die so… fuck you. Fuck EACH and EVERY one of you.

Moving on…

Beautiful Friday

I got up early yesterday morning cause I have a "Beauty Day" date with a friend. The first thing my mom told me was for me to stay indoors unless I wanna die.

You must have heard all the politics-related insanity going on in the capital of the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.

Riots or no riots, war or peace, heck, I don’t give a flying fuck if all hell breaks loose… I was fucking determined to get my hair done…

… and that’s exactly what I ended up doing.

I met up with friends at H-Salon in Rustan’s Makati to get a color and highlights. I LOVE that place. The service is good and Henry is a doll! I’m gonna go there for color from now on for color.

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I thought I’d get my eyebrows done while waiting for their turns to finish their treatments.

022406_threading 

Man, it was TORTURE! I wailed like a pregnant bitch who is about to give birth. I have a feeling it was my voice that stopped the riots yesterday.

Thank you Henry Calayag! I LOOOOOVE the color of my locks. I got a ton of comments last night how my hair is sooo nice. The pictures don’t do it justice.

This third world hell hole of a country can burn in hell for all I care but at least I’ve got FABULOUS hair!

022406_henrycalayag

Don’t get me wrong… I love my country…. but I have to love my own ass first.

Seriously… some of these people should just stop all these riot/protest nuisance. It was effective for the first 2 times… but you can’t recreate the past. You’re scaring the tourists away and you’re destroying the economy, including my livelihood. Being the local dollar earning prostitute that I am, how the fuck am I supposed to get well-hung clients from far flung places?

Ugh. I don’t even wanna talk anything that has to do with politics. It’s a touchy subject and the only time I’ll talk about it in great detail is when I’m holding public office or when someone with ill-gotten wealth adopts me.

Anyway, yesterday was productive. I accomplished a lot of things. I bought 2 delectable clutch bags. One of them is real snakeskin and the other one is faux croc. I LOVE the way you open/close the bag. These lovely confections will drive a bag thief insane – it took me several hours to figure it out.

022506_clutchacquisitions   

Yves Saint Laurent bag, Dolce & Gabbana eel skin and kid fur clutch, Mulberry bag, DSquared shirt, Tim Camino t-shirt.

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I love my new Mulberry bag. It looks a bit weird in photos but it’s lovely in person. The color is astounding.

Yes mother fuckers, I’ll update InsideMyBag.com later today. PROMISE!

022506_insidemulberry 

Mulberry bag, Hermes scarf, Goyard wallet, Goyard agenda, Alain Mikli eyeglasses, Gucci sunglasses, Shu Uemura face powder, Yves Saint Laurent concealer, pens, ipod, lighter, cash, passport.

I ***LOVE*** my Mulberry bag!!!!

It was a good day overall. There must be something in the air. Heck, we even went to the cinema to watch Big Momma. Celine and I packed far too many calories yesterday. We had 3 meals yesterday… in a span of 8 or so hours… oh, and I had 3 enormous scoops of Haagez Dazs ice cream while watching the movie. 

We all went home after the film. I was exhausted at the end of the day. 

And a little depressed.

7 of us went to the movie theatre. A gay couple, 2 straight couples and good ol singleton me.

JUST BECAUSE I’M A TRANSVESTITE HERMAPHRODITE, IT DOESNT MEAN I DON’T DESERVE TO BE LOVED.

SOMEONE JUST LOVE ME GOD DAMMIT.

This is Summer

Even my 2 younger sisters have boyfriends even if I don’t like them that much. Fuck love and fuck being in a relationship.

I have to rely on myself to get love. It’s only ME who loves ME, MYSELF and I.

Until I find someone who will love me, I’m gonna love myself by pouring out my frustrations by shopping.

This is summer right here. Well.. part of it. LOL.

Save the 5-inch Chloe shoe/sandal and Versace clip-on earrings for a rainy day. I wanna to dress up like a whore once or twice this year.

Dior Homme (can’t remember) tuxedo vest, Ann Demeulemeester tank, Paul Smith shoes, Dolce & Gabbana jacket, Dolce & Gabbana t-shirt, Dolce & Gabbana polo shirt, David Szeto pearl necklace, Fruit cowboy boots, Chloe shoes, Versace clip-on earings, Marc Jacobs bag, Dior sunglasses, Tom Ford sunglasses, Marc Jacobs sunglasses, Zodiac chrono watch, Dior Homme tie, Versace pin, Louis Vuittn bag, Strenesse caftan, Ike watch, Etro sneakers, Eme Jota gazelle fur bag, Oscar de la Renta faux croc portfolio clutch, Nancy Gonzalez python minaudiere.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Ca Quarta, Veneto Italy, Cambridge, UK, Cagayan De Oro, Philippines, Chicago, IL, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Long Beach, CA, Braddock, PA, Mount Laurel, NJ, Hawthorn, VIC Australia, Honolulu, HI, Easthampton, MA, Kilmacanoge, Wicklow Ireland, Cote D’Azur, France, Kanagawa, Japan, Toulouse, France, Roslyn, NY and of course, people from Liberec, Czech Republic. I love each and every one of you mother fuckers. Email me and tell me you wanna fuck my fanny.

#2 – Watch out for Podcast #4 coming out in 6 hours!

#3 – See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. YOU ARE EVIL.

#4 – Geography is no boundary when it comes to unconditional love and the infamous Bryanboy pose. Here’s one from good ol New York.

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#5 – Be sure to go to my Discussion Forums. www.bryanboy.com/forum. Say hi, don’t be shy.

I’ve had it. I’m gonna work on my podcast and post here in a bit.

More updates later.

Talk to me you maggots! Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

It’s almost midnight here and I’ll be awake for the next 6 hours.

I love each and every one of you. Someone please buy me a Boucheron watch!

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

[pinit]
12:08 am

Welcome Back to Civilization. My Maid Deserves A Raise.

17/02/2006, Fan Art, Fans, Fashion, Press Coverage

Welcome Back to Civilization.

Welcome to blogging. Welcome back to civilization. I’m so glad I’m kinda over my podcast addiction.

Don’t worry though. I promise I’ll do a podcast once a week… perhaps twice or thrice a week. Depends. ;)

My psychic, also known as Miss Cleo, who, btw, got charged with deceptive advertising, billing and collection practices by the US Federal Trade Commission back in 2002, was right all along; my prince charming didn’t call me on Valentine’s Day. No dinner date, no expensive champagne… and definitely no tiny red box with a big shiny gift from Cartier.

I should have known better.

It’s been a quiet week at the House of Bryanboy.

My uncle had a heart attack on Saturday afternoon and my familia de horreur told me to stay at home as they take care of things at the hospital. I’m glad my uncle survived and he’s waiting for surgery. I think he’s gonna have either a bypass or angioplasty… I’m not sure. He’s currently confined at the hospital and he’s doing ok.

A friend launched a new collection from her line, Loungeri Lux last Saturday. I promised her I’ll go to the party but my parentals told me that I should stay indoors in case we need to go to the hospital. I missed the first launch and now I missed it again. I’m almost 24 years old for god’s sake!

Loungerilux_002
The oh-so-lovely Celine and her gold python Fendi Spy bag

I ended up not visiting him at the hospital so another weekend gone down the drain. Call me insensitive but it was my aunt’s fauly in the first place why my uncle had a heart attack.

Enough drama of my clammy clan. I don’t wanna talk about it. I wanna talk about beautiful things and beautiful people.

Loungerilux_001
Photo credit: The Fash Pack

I stole both photos from The Fash Pack’s blog (sorry!!).

If you live in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives, pop by Mix at Greenbelt 3. JUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU’RE ***NOT*** GONNA TOUCH THE LARGE SIZES! I’ll GET THEM IN 3 COLORS. BLACK, WHITE AND PINK. These tees run a little small and a big, obese bitch like me need every square inch possible.

My Maid Deserves A Raise.

My oh so loyal servant, also known as Miss Eunice, deserves a raise. Who knew the bitch (that I truly love) had talent when it comes to photography?

Doctor_001

I love her. I really do. That bitch mastered the art of namedropping and fashion faster than the speed of light. All of these conversations were done in our local language, fyi.


Me: "Have you seen my white belt with the yellow and pink stripes?"
Eunice: "No, is it the one from Delia’s?"
Me: "No… it’s Chanel because it says Chanel all over it!"
—-
Me: "Look at that woman’s Chanel bag. Isn’t it nice?"
Eunice: "The bag is a fake cause the quilts aren’t aligned/the same"
(Peke po yung bag kasi iyung maliliit na squares hindi po pantay pantay)
Me: "Oh."

Eunice: "Bryan, did you drink some cooking oil again? Your lip gloss is all over the place"

(Kuya, uminom nanaman po ba kayo ng mantika? Lagpas lagpas po yung lip gloss niyo)


When I got up yesterday afternoon, the first thing that she told me was "I can’t believe Paris Hilton is gonna be Mother Theresa in the movie. She looks like barbie doll. Isn’t Mother Theresa an Indian?"

(Kuya, hindi ako makapaniwala kinuha nila si Paris Hilton para maging Mother Thera. Para siyang Barbie Doll. Eh diba si Mother Theresa boombay?)

WTF.

Anyway.

On Wednesday evening, I thought it would be nice to pay my uncle a visit. I was bored at that time so I asked Eunice to take photos of me; I haven’t camwhored in a long time.

I’m telling you… I think I should start a career in becomin a cleaning lady.

If I can’t get a guy being Le Superstar Fabuleux, maybe I can get a guy by being a hospital cleaning lady?

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Shit, if that bitch Jennifer Lopez can steal Dolce & Gabbana outfits from hotel guests or wear Harry Winston diamonds on a date to the Met, I’m sure I can do better.

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Maid002

The person I’ll flirt with at the hospital are the ones on the Intensive Care Unit… the ones who have a one-way ticket to the morgue… the ones who are about to face death as soon as I touch their genitals… Before I do that though, I wanna make sure their last will and testament is signed, leaving all their assets and wealth to me.

God, imagine how lucky those nurses are.

HOSPITALS MUST BE GOLD-DIGGER CENTRAL!!!! 

I’m sure somewhere in the world, there’s a filthy wealthy hospital patient fed up of dealing with their heirs so they leave everything to the ones who wipe their shitty arses off the shitting pan.

Anyway, I think I LOOK SOOOOOOOOO DAMN GOOD WITH ALL THOSE CLEANING EQUIPMENT.

A_nurses_002

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Looking at a picture from my past, I think I was meant to work in the cleaning lady/healthcare industry. Here’s a picture of me about 5 or 6 years ago at Amanpulo. That’s table napkin on my head!

Amanpulo_nurse

EEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!

I have such a huge respect for nurses. Who else will take care of us even if we’re sick, even if they’re getting paid? I have to admit that nurses in this country are sooo underpaid, no wonder they’re emigrating by the flock to other countries, just like migratory birds.

Anyway, I respect them soo much when I got hospitalized, I had to boo them away in order for me to take a poop. I don’t care even if I was on Intensive Care. I don’t want a nurse to be wiping my ass with baby wipes; I want to do it myself!

Bryanboy Loves…. and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Doha, Qatar, Tianjin, China, Tampa, FL, Quinta Da Verdelha, Lisboa Portugal, Hanoi, Vietnam, Oslo, Norway, Kortemark, Belgium, Perth, WA Australia, London, ONT Canada, Mount Sibley, QLD Australia, Helsinki, Finland, Eschborn, Hessen Germany, Magnolia, TX and of course, all my friends from Cazevieille, Languedoc-Roussillon, France. I love you all. Say hi, don’t be shy you fuckin maggots!

#2 – I love these guys from Belgium. Don’t worry boys… when I go to Brussels one day, I wanna make sure we’re gonna have a threesome. Both of you guys can take turns fucking both my mouth and my ass. I’m gonna milk your genitals until the cows come home. I LOVE YOU BOTH!!!!

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Belgium_002 

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#3 – More love from all over the world… Big shout out to Milwaukee, Wisconsin and Hong Kong! As always, you know where to send your love. NO PHOTOSHOPPED PICTURES PLEASE!!! Email bryan@bryanboy.com.

Jimmycrackcorn

Hklove 

#4 – I hope you liked Podcast #003. If you haven’t listened to it yet, click here to download it. I named my Podcast "Greetings From The Third World". I’m open to ideas and suggestions!

Greetings

#5 – Be sure to pay my online forum a visit. It’s free for god’s sake. I’m gonna go there in a bit to post a couple of things.

http://www.bryanboy.com/forum

#6 – OH MY GOD. I GOT PUBLISHED AT OKLAHOMA DAILY!. OKLAHOMA. Oh. my. god.

Anyway, I have NO idea where it is in the USA but all I know is Amber Valetta was born there.

Apparently I’m this "Filipino Socialite" and I "make out with European models".

SOCIALITE?

ME?

Oh jesus.

European Models?

Me?

Making out with them?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

SHIT, I CAN’T GET A FILIPINO MODEL TO KISS ME ON THE LIPS LET ALONE MAKE OUT AND HAVE HORNY SEX WITH EUROPEAN MODELS.

Hilarious. I LOVE IT.

I like it that they featured me though. It’s one step to world domination. It’s nice to have readers from Oklahoma.

SOMEONE PLEASE SCAN THAT ARTICLE IF IT EVER GOT PRINTED AND EMAIL IT TO ME. I’LL GIVE FREE BLOWJOBS AND AN OREO COOKIE IF YOU DO. bryan@bryanboy.com.

Click here to read the article online.

I think that’s all for now. I gotta be up early tomorrow.

Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

I love you all.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

[pinit]
7:20 pm

Sustenance for the Soul, Fashion First Before Comfort, Guess Who Came For Dinner?

10/02/2006, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Friendships, Press Coverage

Sustenance for the Soul

This is one of the main reasons why life is worth living.

I know the best things in life are often (very) expensive – I’m not gonna be a hypocrite… I’m gonna be soo happy if I got a brand new Maybach, a crocodile Birkin IN NEON PINK with diamonds, a gorgeous De Grisogono watch or a new massive pink diamond Graff ring that’s huge enough to create a fuckin hole as big as the Grand Canyon on someone’s face when I punch them… but hey… I’m not gonna complain if something is being given to me for free.

It’s not everyday that I get very sweaty, young, aspiring porn star males with construction worker-like bodies from Canada take their shirts off and pose for the camera.

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Neil

Neil002

I’m telling you… it’s images like these that pretty much keep me going. Images that depict your unconditional love serve as vital life support to my dreary, dull life.

Even Jessie and Natalie (from Malaysia), sent their love from the fabulous The Datai in Langkawi. Lucky bitches… I NEED A BEACH HOLIDAY!!!!!!!

Lovedatai

Lovedatai001

What are you waiting for?

Everyone’s got a friggin camera these days – digital cameras, webcams, mobile phones, whatever. Be creative and take a photo of your love. Email bryanboy@gmail.com. Be creative… please? None of those photoshopped crap.

I would literally cream my pants if anyone of you manage to get an entire gang of muscled fire fighters (or any men in uniform for that matter) strip and hold a sign over their genitals. I’d die a happy old woman if that happens.

*hint hint*

Fashion First Before Comfort

Last night was funny. I’ve never had a fashion failure moment (thanks to sheer stupidity) in the longest time.

I got invited to a friend’s birthday party at a local bar yesterday night. Everyone should wear blue because duh, it was a blue-themed party.

You see, I’m generally confident in whatever I put on. I usually just don’t give a shit whether my clothes look good on me or not. It’s always about how I feel, my mood and my attitude. To some, yes, I look fabulous. To most, well, I look like fashion roadkill. Whatever. What really matters is how I feel. If I feel good in spite of others thinking I look like crap, good.

I literally had nothing to wear yesterday. I thought I’d give my navy blue men’s (it’s the smallest for men’s… in my books, it’s OVERSIZED) velvet dinner jacket a shot. I bought it last year and I haven’t worn it.

And since my mother was out, I thought I’d raid her wardrobe for good finds. That woman HATES it whenever my siblings and I go to her closet.

I found a really old gold Chanel belt with stones. It’s amazing what kind of treasures I find in my mom’s closet.

I have no idea whether it can be considered as vintage. All I know is the fact that it’s old and several seasons ago. I think it’s the year when Shalom Harlow and Stella Tenant came out with those skin-tight, beige beaded Chanel dresses.

Navygold 

I wore the oversized navy blue velvet jacket on its own. I cinched (? I don’t know the right word) the sleeves down to my elbows. I wore the Chanel piece high up on the waist ala a Yves Saint Laurent. I thought the Charles Jourdan jeweled bag complimented the look.

With my hair slicked to the side, damn, I thought I looked smashing.

I thought I looked FABULOUS.

I arrived at the party alone. I said hi to DJ (the birthday celebrant) and to several familiar faces.

I was smoking outside – I HATE THE INDOOR NONSMOKING LAW IN THE CITY OF MAKATI. SOMEONE PLEASE ABOLISH THIS LAW BECAUSE IT’S KILLING ME FASTER THAN NICOTINE – and there was a table with several girls (who eventually introduced themselves… Hi MICHELLE :P) I didn’t knew who recognized me and said "Bryanboy!".

I’m still not used to people approaching me (don’t get me wrong… I love it… and I FUCKING ENCOURAGE IT… DON’T BE SHY, SAY HI… I DON’T BITE…. JUST DON’T LAUGH AT ME CAUSE I HAVE NO SOCIAL SKILLS WHATSOEVER AND I DO FEEL LIKE A TWAT SOMETIMES… hahaha) so I ended up getting all nervous. All I said was "sorry" and I ran to the toilets faster than the speed of light.

There weren’t a lot of people when I got there so it was kinda awkward. I didn’t want to play tails and tag along with people so I thought it would be best if I get a drink, smoke outside the bar and wallow in loneliness.

That’s when I started getting hot flashes… there I was, looking all cool and good then my forehead started to sweat like a rapist.

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WEAR A VELVET JACKET IN THIS HOT AND HUMID WEATHER ANYWAY?

I couldn’t bear it any longer so I bid my BRBs to my friend and told him I’m gonna go back home and change.

I HAVEN’T SPENT MORE THAN 15 MINUTES from the time I arrived!!!!!

It was HELL, I’m telling you.

I told my driver to bring me home and I settled for a Marc by Marc Jacobs top and my Chanel bag.

Ciaraandme

Djandme
(That’s DJ, the birthday boy and moi)

It was soooo weird cause for the first time (in such the longest time) I felt like a complete fuck-up. I said hi to familiar faces (when I’m not tagging along with DJ) and managed a few conversations here and there, but boy it was sooo strange. It felt like I didn’t know anyone.

That’s when reality hit me.

Maybe I don’t really know anyone.

I found myself standing alone in some occassions, smoking cigarettes, my eyes either wandering all over the place or just staring on the floor, whereas everyone is busy chit chatting.

I think the reason why I felt like I was an outsider is because I REALLY AM AN OUTSIDER… the classic fly-on-the-wall sort of thing.

I guess what it all boils down to is good ol classic social skills.

My fashion disaster ruined my mood the entire night so I left the party early. I stayed for about 45 minutes then I went home.

Shit, I got home at fuckin 1AM. GO FIGURE!

I wish I stayed longer… DJ’s been nothing but super super nice to me and it was a good party.

Guess Who Came For Dinner?

Wednesday night was a complete riot. I went to a good friend’s dinner party at Cuisine restaurant at my usual haunt, La Embajada.

Dinner_tina
(Happy birthday Tina!!!)

Dinner_ajmejackiemarco

Dinner_jacquesjackieiannejenni 

Dinner_timianne

Dinnertinadj

Dinnertinameianne

Dinner_me

I’m gonna get a haircut tomorrow.

My hair is sooo long even dykes look more masculine than me.

I’m gonna shop online. It’s been quite awhile since I bought something from the internet. Shopping real life is soo much better though.

Be sure to check my website out in a couple of hours cause I’m gonna create another podcast.

You all know where to contact me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

I love you all.

Baboosh!

[pinit]
3:30 pm

Pictionary Galore: Guilty Pleasures and Errands

12/01/2006, Current Affairs, Fan Art, Fans, Random Cheesemax

Pictionary Galore: Guilty Pleasures and Errands

I’ll never forget what a friend said — I should never, ever, ever, ever, feel guilty about my pleasures.

That’s why I’ll let you in on one of my deepest, darkest secrets.

Guiltypleasure_001

Screw the amazing confit de canard or seared escalope de foie gras I had from Josephine Chez Dumonet in Paris.

Assuming I got sentenced to death for a henious crime (rape, murder, etc.), this would be the last meal I’d ask my jail warden.

Chickenjoy

I ***LOVE*** Jollibee Chickenjoy. It’s the best fried chicken in the world.

To hell with hypertension and blocked arteries. Not even cardiac arrest would stop me from eating the crispest chicken skin. Dip ‘em in gravy before shoving it up your gob. It’s pure oral orgasm right then and there.

If you don’t live in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives and you are planning to go to this country, don’t forget to pay Jollibee a visit. You’ll thank me for it.

Bah.

It’s 2:30PM here and I accomplished a lot of stuf today. I went to my friend’s office to pick up my airline tickets.

Sagehouse

Sagehouse2

Sagehouse3

You gotta love those Cheap Monday jeans I got in Stockholm. They’re the BEST skinny jeans ever. Thank god I bought 2 pairs of the same style. I should’ve bought 5 pairs… silly me. God knows when I’ll go to Sweden again.

I also went to my office to pick up my mail. I haven’t been to my office since I left. Silly me. Jakob from Sweden has been bugging me to go there cause he sent me a Christmas card. He sent me a card back when I was in Paris and to my dismay, it’s still not there. I hate it. I’ll ask him to send me a card again.

A card that says something like how he’ll be the father of my first born child.

Hahahaha! Fuck it. I’m sooo disappointed with the third world postal system.

Filipino Postal System = EPITOME OF THE SLOW BOAT.

Bryansoffice

I’m starting to like this smile thing.

Moving on…. I got a surprise from all the lovely folks at Fudge Magazine. Thanks :) They sent me a copy with me on it. I’m a label whore alright. Loves it. :)

Fudgemagazine

These Cheap Monday jeans are REALLY a godsend. I swear by them. I don’t know how you can get them without going to Sweden. Search it on google or something.

Godsend

Here’s another smile smile photo. Enough already. I think it’s getting quite obvious that I’m faking it.

Fakemsile

All I can say is…. GORGEOUS. FUCKING GORGEOUS.

Gorgeous_2

I also went to the Peninsula Hotel valet shop to pick up my dry cleaning.

Peninsuladrycleaning

And of course, no trip to the city would be complete without…. SHOPPING! I bought 2 shirts at Paul Smith and I also went to Shoemart (aka "SM"). If you want cheap bargains, go to SM. I love that place. I think the last time I went there was back in 2004 when I bought a samsonite thing. I bought a shitload of socks… and 3 pairs of shorts (brown, beige and olive) for no more than US$50!!!!!

Shoemart

Glorietta

Today’s been productive. I love how I accomplished everything in no more than 4-5 hours.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Abbotsford, NSW Australia, Negros Occidentail, Philippines (woah!), Camberwell, VIC Australia, Cincinnati, OH, Austin, TX, Englewood Cliffs, NJ, Coventry, CT, Stoufville, ONT Canada, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Kearny, NJ, Columbia, SC, Orlando, FL, Lindfield, NSW Australia, Spartanburg, SC and of course, people from Bethesda, MD. Bryanboy loves you all. Identify yourselves bitches and lick my ass crack.

#2 – I feel sorry for those who judge a blog’s success by the amount of comments that one gets. It’s NOT the comments that make a blog successful. There are a few out there who want to spark a war between my blog and someone’s elses blog. Screw it though. My time is valuable and my mere 2 brain cells can’t handle anything more than what I currently have on my plate.

#3 – Send me some love! Send me some hate! Send me whatever it is that you can create! I love the latest batch of pics showing the infamous Bryanboy pose. These Americans sure know how to do it.

Pose_003

Pose_002

Pose_001

OOOOOOOOOOO Some 100% pure NYC love right from the middle of Times Square… I love you Colleen, I love you Kiersten!

Runnin’ pretty, New York City girl, Twenty-five, thirty-five, Hello, baby, New York City girl

You grew up ridin’ the subways, running with people… Up in Harlem, down on Broadway… You’re no tramp, but you’re no lady, talkin’ that street talk, You’re the heart and soul of New York City

And love, love is just a passing word… It’s the thought that you had in a taxi cab that got left on the curb… When he dropped you off and he stated firm

Oh, oh, oh [Oh, oh, oh]… You’re a native New Yorker… You should know the score by now [You should know by now]… You’re a native New Yorker

Nyclove001

Nyclove

Even Shoelover loves me… Visit http://shoelover.typepad.com.

Shoelover

FINALLY…. some homegrown third world love! Melanie sent me this fabulous picture of her family doing a tribute to… ME! Look at all those luscious lips… I love the pout on each and every one of you. GORGEOUS! ADOPT ME PLEASE? I need a new family…

Melanieetfamille 

I think that’s about it. For now. I’ll update later in the evening.

I love you all, as always. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh!

[pinit]
1:10 pm

World’s Worst Traveller, World’s Best Travel Buddy, Bing Bing Beijing

08/11/2005, China, Fan Art, Travel

World’s Worst Traveller

I’ve been looking for a travel buddy for the past few months to no avail so I guess I’m destined to be travelling alone forever.

I am the epitome of the phrase "LONELY PLANET".

I think it has to do with the fact that I’m probably the world’s worst traveller.

  • I never fly economy (unless it’s a 1-class flight i.e. those 45 minute domestic flights within the Philippines).
  • I carry so much stuff with me (that I eventually don’t use) I just use it as an excuse to get my clothes dry cleaned and laundried by the maid.
  • I carry so much stuff with me I usually end up shipping boxes upon boxes via Federal Express at the end of each journey.
  • I spend far too much on excess luggage… enough to pay for a roundtrip, business class seat for all my suitcases.
  • I almost never go to museums. Why go to huge halls filles with relics of the past when you can go to a well-lit shopping mall, be the emperor, and BUY new clothes (and shoes… and bags… and accessories…)?
  • Soaking up local culture to me means getting drunk at the nearest nightclub and flirting with fellow tourists
  • BackwheniwasfatMornings are for sleeping, Afternoons are for shopping, Evenings are for drink and dance.
  • I don’t do public transport. Don’t expect me to take the subway.
  • The longest distance that I’ll walk is 100 meters or 109 yards or 328 feet. Anything else beyond that figure requires me hailing a cab or hiring a driver via the hotel concierge. Where’s the glamour when I’ve got sweat beads on my forehead?
  • Trying local cuisine means going to the nearest Japanese restaurant to order miso soup and mixed sushi.
  • Sightseeing to me means going to the nearest Dior or Chanel boutique.
  • I always lose maps, hotel keys and hotel address cards. In a span of 24 hours, I usually ask the hotel receptionist 5 copies of those credit-card sized plastic hotel keys.
  • Wherever it is in the world, any hotel room (or suite) that I’ve stayed at should be declared as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Cleaning up the mess I leave requires miracles… it’s a test of human strength.
  • My toiletries alone weigh more than 10 kilos. And no, I don’t use them all.
  • Unlike my contemporaries who steal bath robes, towels and slippers, I never steal anything from hotels except those little tiny pads of stationery that they leave on your desk/bedside table – proof that I’m still a stationery kleptomaniac after all these years; I used to be the #1 thief of Sanrio stationeries and Lisa Frank stickers amongst my friends back when I was a infant.
  • Not even a fire drill/fire alarm test can wake me up when I’m sleeping.
  • I have this weird habit of bringing out everything inside my suitcases just to have an outfit for any particular day.

    Messyluggage2

  • Yes oh yes, even if that means unpacking everything on the floor only to spend more than 6 hours the following day to repack it all over again…

    Carpet

Now, now, all flaws aside… here are the reasons why I also qualify for the

World’s Best Travel Buddy

position.

  • I’m not selfish when it coms to sharing bathroom space
  • I am the poster child of cleanliness when it comes to illegal substances; I’m no British-Sex-Tourist-Smugglin’-A-Bag-Of-Heroin’. No way in this life I’m goin to be Claire Danes-meets-Thai Prison for drugs.
  • I never argue with anyone when it comes to the remote control
  • I never induce pillow fights
  • I won’t let you stay awake when I can’t go to sleep
  • I never wake people up
  • I never bring boys back to the room
  • I never come home drunk, drugged, fucked or drugfucked at 5AM
  • I limit myself to a mere 2 hours to "get ready" before going out
  • I let people shower first
  • I don’t sing in the shower
  • I never touch people’s toiletries let alone borrow their stuff.
  • Yes, I’ll take public transport and walk for more than 100 meters as long as you meet the following stipulations:

    - you go down on your knees and beg
    - you won’t tell anyone that I took public transport (or walk 100+ meters) with you
    - you’ll bring tissue + spare handkerchiefs
    - you must buy me a pair of good, humongous Chanel sunglasses to protect my eyesight from the traumatic experience.

That’s not too bad isn’t it?

Bing Bing Beijing

I’ll be on top of this wall SOONER than you think. All I need is a damn driver (and a guide) to bring me from my hotel to the Great Wall.

Bryanboyinvadesbeijing

I was supposed to go to Beijing a couple of months ago but I was sidetracked by all the shopping opportunities in Hong Kong.

This time however I’m on a mission.

I’m going straight to the heart of the Chinese capital… the heartland of 1 billion people… wonderful people with names and surnames that rhyme with all the sounds that emanate from a Szechuan frying pan: Tang, Ting, Tong, Tung. Mao, Ming, Mong, Mung.

I’ll only stay for 2 days so here’s what I planned on doing:

Day 1
1. Visit Tian An Men Square
2. Visit Forbidden City
3. Visit Silk Alley and the Friendship Store
4. Visit Wangfuijing Street
5. Go shopping (fabrics, gems, presents and random knick-knacks, FUR and EXOTIC SKINS)

Day 2
1. Visit Great Wall of China
2. Visit Summer Palace

I’ve spent far too many hours researching but I think the above should do it.

If you know any good-hearted people who live in Beijing who can show me around, please tell them to email me, bryanboy@gmail.com.

I’ll be on my own, all sad and alone.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

Vaslav#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Hong Kong, Santa Cruz, CA, Goleta, CA, Morristown, NJ, Austin, TX, Gilles Plains, South Australia, Pyrmont, NSW, Australia, Diamon Bar, California, McMahon Park, Singapore, Brimley, ONT, Canada, Melville, Saskatchewan, Canada, Copenhagen, Denmark, Malmo, Sweden, Neubiberg, Germany, students of Parsons School of Design, employees of Neiman Marcus in Post Oak Blvd, Houston, TX and of course, people from Yio Chu Kang, Singapore. Bryanboy loves you all you fuckin bitches!

#2 – The only thing that’s stopping me from buying this bag at eLuxury.com is the lack of time before it gets forwarded to me by my US office. I probably have left the country before it gets delivered to me. God knows whether LV Manila has this bag… The price ain’t that bad either… US$1,140!!! Oi vey!!!!

#3 – NOW THESE TWO GIRLS CAN GIVE ME A RUN FOR MY MONEY. Thanks girls for doin the infamous Bryanboy pose. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!

Welovebryanboy

That’s the way to do it bitches! Put one hand on your waist/hip and the other one upwards.

Gorgeous. Fucking gorgeous.

#4 – Love is all around me!

Lovelove

Baboosh.

[pinit]
8:11 pm

Vomit, Old Men, Keep the Love Coming

06/11/2005, Fan Art, Fans, Press Coverage, Random Cheesemax, Social Awareness, Travel

Vomit

Man, I have the WORST hangover ever.

I did a little "emergency" trip to my favourite club, Emba at around 1:30AM and got back before 6:30AM. Wore a black button-down shirt for the first time (in MONTHS!), striped Dolce & Gabbana trousers, Valentino belt, Frye boots and a wool Chanel bag.

I wish I took pictures but I left the damn camera in the car. Jenni E. looked ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS in her little orange number.

Believe it or not, I have remnants of vomit on my bedside table. The maid must have cleaned up my act while I was asleep.

I haven’t puked in the longest time. 

I wish I knew how much I puked though.

I wish I puked all the junk food I had yesterday… but knowing my body, I probably vomitted gastric acid and excess saliva.

Old Men

I spent 4 whole hours munching on junk food whilst watching Nip/Tuck on DVD yesterday. These 2 guys never cease to amaze me. If only our plastic surgeons are THAT good-looking and rich (ok, they’re not really good looking but they do have some sort of a sexual appeal), I’d be busy doing serious self-harm to get some car crash cosmetic surgery (and hopefully some fun fun sexual action) done.

Niptuck

Oh I am so bored out of my skull.

I just can’t wait to hop on a plane.

Let the countdown begin.

In less than 2 weeks I’ll be wearing my fall/winter regalia.

I **NEED** that mini winter wonderland holiday.

Screw everything at this point. I need a fucking vacation.

1 Month. 7 Countries.

I’ll be home before Christmas. ..

and then Boracay on New Year’s Eve.

I promised myself I’ll fill my 3rd passport with stamps before the year ends so I’ll have a new passport next year with a prettier photo. LOL

Next week is going to be busy; need to pick up my passport at an embassy cause they approved my visa… and then go to ANOTHER embassy the following morning for my appointment.

All these visa drama. Ugh.

Somebody just fucking give me a diplomatic or official passport already. Afterall, I’m doing a good job promoting the third world to the international community.

Hookers

Sucky sucky 5 dolla, me love you long time 10 dolla, you pay 20 dolla I gib free roast duck!

Think about it – why the hell should we bring tourism into our country when the country can export the Department of Sex Trade and Beauty Industry (aka me) instead ???

Suckysucky

International

Hookie

Keep the Love Coming

See, even people who go to couples therapy loves Bryanboy.

Couples

Big shout out to both of these boys doing the infamous Bryanboy pose. First one’s from Greenwich, London, UK and the other one is from Singapore.

Bryanboypose

Pose2

Keep the love coming.

Love comes in the form of imagery so it’s best to send your love via email – bryanboy@gmail.com.

Try to avoid "photoshopping" please.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Montpellier, France, Bedok Village, Singapore, Bangkok, Thailand, Reseda, CA, Jurong Town, Singapore, Souspierre, France, Helmond, Netherlands, Spearwood, WA and Box Hill & Ascot Vale VIC Australia and of course, people from Osaka, Japan! Bryanboy loves you all – identify yourselves bitches and say hello!

#2 – Take a look at Style.com’s top Spring/Summer 2006 models. They all have funny looking eyebrows.

#3 – Why does papaya have a weird aftertaste?

#4 – Can someone please tell me where I can buy high-quality but cheap fur jackets & coats/exotic animal skins/etc in Beijing?

#5 – I NEED A SUGAR DADDY TO SPOIL ME GOOD… SPOIL ME REALLY ROTTEN. PLEASE BE YOUNGER THAN 35, THANK YOU. AND YES, IT IS POSSIBLE TO CONCEIVE A CHILD AT 12 YEARS OF AGE.

#6 – Happy Birthday Astrud Crisologo!

#7 – THAT Embassy better approve my visa application. I OWN STOCK (AKA MINORITY SHAREHOLDER – I’M POOR) in one of their country’s BIGGEST companies.

#8 – Courtesy of MadeinBrazil.com – the New Gucci Boy (S/S 2006) is Michael Camiloto. Gorgeous son of a bitch eh?

Camilotonewgucciboy

Ugh. Enough male model fantasy.

Hannah Matronic, remember how I told you that we shouldn’t be fantasizing about male models (well, Filipino male models) because they’re poor, they’re dull, they’re poor, they have STDs, they’re poor, they shoved their cocks up some dirty old fag’s asshole, and best of all, they’re gonna end up as prostitutes in the future?

#9 – Danish government provide prostitutes for the disabled – at the taxpayers’ expense. Quick! Let’s all move to Copenhagen PRONTO!

#10 – I’d love to see someone with a low-hanging scrotum wear those denim shorts. Click here to see more from "Butch".

S065 

As always, you know where to contact me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh!

[pinit]
3:18 pm

Rest in Peace Daria, Life Went On, Show Me Some Lovin’ Lovin’

31/10/2005, Current Affairs, Daria the Pooch, Fan Art, Fans

Rest in Peace, Daria.

Daria_1Rest in peace, my baby. You’ve been here for a little over a month but Daria but you brought so much joy and happiness in my household. I terribly miss you. It was completely my FAULT. I tried to save your fragile life but I made a wrong decision in the process. I wish I have sent you to a different veterinarian instead of the one who said you have kidney and liver problems. I wish I didn’t allow you to be confined at their clinic – they made the wrong decision to put you on dextrose,  causing you to bloat. I wish I could turn back the clocks and brought you to an acquaintance’s referral. I just hate you being gone!

I terribly, terribly miss you babe. I tried to avoid conversations with people over the past few days because I thought I could pretend to put a straight face and play numb… but I just can’t do it anymore.

I know it’s too late for me to tell you this. AT FIRST, I thought I’d get you from the breeder simply because you were so beautiful, small and I wanted a "toy". I originally wanted a small dog for "novelty purposes" – a dog to pamper based on my selfish needs and not YOUR real needs, a dog to dress up and be seen with etc. My original intentions to get you were based on pure selfishness.

But I fell in love with you a few days after we met. You became my only best friend. I’ve put my own personal gain and selfishness aside because I know you deserved to be loved and cared for. You’re not just for "now", you’re a companion for life.

Words cannot express my sadness or how I truly feel. I am so sorry for irresponsibly taking your life away from you. I love you – you will always be remembered and I will never forget you.

(This message goes out to my readers: I know you guys are a nice bunch but I would appreciate it if you don’t say/ask me anything in regards to Daria’s death. I’d like to thank you, in advance, for YOUR condolences – I hope y’all understand. This is one of my personal flaws – I tend to play MUTE, DEAF and BLIND when it comes to personal problems. It’s a nasty, permanent flaw, unfortunately…)

Life Went On

Don’t I deserve an Academy award for putting up a fake face over the weekend in spite of Daria’s death a few days ago?

Errr.. iIt wasn’t a fake face actually; I *DID* have a lot of fun.

It felt like as if I had a huge lump in my throat and the only way to numb myself from feeling such lump is through copious amount of alcohol, make-up and clothes that a transvestite prostitute would be proud of.

I think I’ll stick to my 2-year old breedless, classless, "domestic short-haired" cat, Pinkie. I don’t want to waste any more lives at my EXPENSE.

I have a heart too, you know… 138/90 and 92 beats per minute.

Errands

I got up at 5:30AM earlier this morning and left the house at around 7:00AM to do some errands.

I quickly dropped by at my gal pal’s place and had some early morning gossip. Went to Starbucks afterwards, had a latte and drove back to my aesthetician’s clinic only to find out that they’re closed because of the All Saint’s/Souls Day holiday season.

Show Me Some Lovin’ Lovin’

Here are a couple of fan pics for you to point your fingers at and laugh. Thank you, thank you, thank YOU! Bryanboy loves you all and like what I said before, if only I can give you sexual favors, I would.

Meet Thom from the UK. Here I am thinking an extra "H" on one’s name is a very Filipino trait but little had I known it also exists halfway across the world.

Thom darling, I give you A+ for effHort.

Thom

You gotta love those kids in Singapore doing the Bryanboy pose. My god, the Philippine Embassy in Singapore should have a fucking BRASS MONUMENT of ME with my pose.

Worship me! All of you! I want y’all to put your left hand on your waist and your right arm in the air!

Lukeandaaron_1 

Asssss6

Last but not the least, Bryanboy loves people from Malaysia, especially Malaysian schoolkids.

Malaysia, Truly Asia!

Malaysia

Malaysia1

Malaysia2

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

Hasselhoffianrecursion_1 #1 – Bryanboy loves people from Seaside, CA, Bombay, India, Paris, France, Queenstown Estate, Singapore, Valencia, CA, Maylands, WA, Australia, San Francisco, CA, Markham, ONT, Canada, Newmarket, QLD and of course, people from Copenhagen, Denmark. Bryanboy loves you all! Identify yourselves, bitches and say HI!.

#2 – Whenever I go out in public, I always take a quick trip to the toilets every once in a while to smell my armpits.

Being the complete sweaty betty that I am (trust me, in this weather, even a trivial thing such as BREATHING NORMALLY can make me sweat), I know I’m NOT the record-breaking, best-smelling person in the world so I do make the effort to lift my arms up, shove my nose to my pits and figure out whether or not my armpits stink — IN PRIVATE.

(BTW: Thank god my pits don’t usually get wet. It’s my PALMS and forehead that’s my problem.)

Anyway, rumor has it that there’s this one person locally who doesn’t seem to care (or at least make an effort) about his/her armpits. It’s not the first time I heard such gossip about ____. It’s quite sad that people talk about this person about that BO problem but NOBODY has the balls to confront that person – I know I CAN’T… cause I have a vagina.

But then again, who am I to judge when I haven’t really smelled that person?

If you think I have body odour or bad breath (guilty as charged, especially when I go out – I love oysters and booze – perfect recipe for halitosis!), please send an anonymous (or NOT SO) anonymous tip via www.sendatip.com. I invite you to send a tip to THAT person, i HOPE he knows who he is, so they’ll know what’s going on without revealing yourself.

I still can’t do it AND I won’t do it either… though I guess it would look as if it came from me because I posted that website URL on my blog. LOL.

Patsy Stone once said "one whiff of a cocoa bean and our customers would fly like vampires before garlic."

I don’t want to be that coca bean. I’m sure NOBODY does.

But this person that I’m talking about is worse than cocoa bean AND garlic, COMBINBED!

Oh I don’t know what to think anymore.

I love you all! As always, you know how to get hold of me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-7851492.

Baboosh!

[pinit]
8:24 am

Today is a beautiful day.

12/08/2005, Fan Art

My gut tells me that it’s going to be a beautiful day today. I slept early last night to make sure I get out of bed by 6AM — I did.

And there’s no other way to start my day than getting email presents! Here’s a really nice illustration by Irene A. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you (from the nicotine-covered walls of my cardiac arteries to the bottom of cocaine residue covered aorta) for starting my day nice. It’s sooooo beautiful! It’s just as beautiful as I am – and let me tell you, I am so beautiful that if only I could make a clone of myself and fly to Canada or friggin Belgium to marry him, have sex, have 3 kids and a dog, I fucking will!

Bryanboy loves you, Irene.

Illustration

I’ve got a ton of stuff to do today…

1) Go to Tina’s place for a fitting session for my outfit
2) Get a haircut and a manicure
3) Buy booze and drinks for tonight’s dinner party
4) Buy flowers, party favors (no, not THAT kind of party favors)
5) Go to the caterers by lunch time
6) Take a quick look at the mall for last minute shopping.
7) Go to the Shu Uemura event at around 3:30PM
8) Go to my dinner party
9) Go to La Embajada (again) or wherever the wind blows me tonight.

I’m a bit nervous on my little dinner party/Shu Uemura afterparty that I’m throwing tonight. I haven’t thrown a dinner party in a long time. I hope the people I invited show up and the people I didn’t invited, well, since Manila only has 4 walls, can understand why I didn’t invite them, because it’s really a small, "private" party, that sort of thing.

Alright, maybe there’s inter-friend politics involved but bah. Friend A and Friend K hates Friend D, that sort of thing. I can’t please everyone ya know.

And I most definitely don’t want to please

everyone. Why should I bear all the pains in

this world? It’s like blaming me for whatever it

is that you want to blame on me: third world debt,

poverty, war against terror, your cheating husband,

your kids being on drugs, you getting fat, etc. 


Get a rampant rabbbit instead. Click here.

(Be sure to load your speakers’ volume up before ya click on that link)

The next time I throw a party it will celebrate "Bryanboy’s contribution to mankind" and I’ll invite everyone and I mean everyone, from New York to London and Reykjavik to Shanghai.

I’m gonna leave the house in about 1 hour so I’d better get going.
Don’t y’all hate morning breath? I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet!

And since it’s a Friday, I’ll use my "Weekend Going Out Coupon – valid 1 time use" today therefore I’ll be home tomorrow to share pictionary galore, random cheesemax and madness.

Email me whilst I’m gone – bryanboy@gmail.com.

Baboosh!

[pinit]