Mercury Retrograde Rubbish
Now I know what that whole "Mercury Retrograde" bullshit means. Remember how the great Susie Bubble fucked her laptop and lost her camera during her Gucci-sponsored escapade? Well, my 3-year old desktop computer died on me two days ago, my ex-new and now-old MAC Book Pro is useless (I HATE MACS!!!!!) and my camera is screwed for good. I bought a new computer and laptop yesterday (there goes those my savings for those Bottega Veneta boots I badly wanted) and I’m now trying to get my way around Windows Vista.
All my precious software… gone!
All my precious emails, files, videos, etc… gone!
All my precious mp3 files, iTunes, music, porn, etc… gone!
All those years and tens of thousands of photos… gone!
The computer shop told me they might be able to do something about the hard drive. Apparently it was my motherboard that was ruined so I’m "safe". Unfortunately, they won’t be able to do anything about it till Saturday, or worse, next week, because EVERYONE IN THIS GOD DAMN THIRD WORLD SHITHOLE is away on holiday.
The good news is… I’m online. And I have internet/e-mail access. The bad news is, I don’t have any graphics software so I can’t crop photos, etc. In other words… I’m a disabled person and I’m no different to a CRIPPLED WHORE ON A WHEELCHAIR! I tried to install all my Windows XP programs like Adobe Photoshop and Fireworks but they’re useless on Windows Vista. DUH!!!!! I need my programs!! I need WS_FTP LE!
Let’s see how I’m going to recover from this… this… "loss". And if there’s a generous soul out there who’s willing to give me Windows Vista programs (quite frankly, I’d rather opt for new boots) I’ll forever be indebted. Come on!!!! I checked the price of those Adobe programs and they’re like $999!!! HELLO!!!
PS. Please don’t tell me to download programs using those bit torrent hoolabaloo. I don’t even know what bit torrent is. KTHXBYE.
All I Want is to Run, Lose Weight and Take Paparazzi Photos
My metabolism is slowing down, my skin is getting shitty, I’m nursing a
flotation device on my midsection and I’m getting lines on my face. I’m
turning 46 years old in 4 days! I’m not sure if you are aware of this (it’s been going on for the past few weeks now) but I jog for at least 30 minutes every day. I recently signed a pact with the devil that requires me to be fit… or else, god forbid, I’ll turn into a pudgy bloated brown buddha someday.It runs in my family. YUCK! All I want is to be able to look at myself on the mirror, naked, and say "GOD DAYUMM I’M HOT"!
Now. Lookie lookie at what I bought over the weekend. Click click click!