You know what I realized a couple of days ago?
Thousands upon thousands of you visit my website on a regular basis. From Sydney and Osaka, Hamburg, Arkansas and Malmo, Sweden to Buenos Aires, Argentina down to my homies in Los Angeles, CA and Jakarta, Indonesia, millions of you have visited my site since October 2004. It’s amazing how a shitload of people all over the world found my little corner of the interweb and the numbers are still growing. You’ve read all my stories, you’ve seen and laughed at what seemed to be tens of thousands of my hilarious (and often ridiculous) photographs.
(That’s me at Shu Uemura’s latest party)
Now that you’ve seen a (small) part of my life on my blog after all this time, it’s my turn to know more about you, my dear reader.
I’ve always been curious on who reads my website. I mean, it’s quite obvious from the hundreds of "I LOVE BRYANBOY" and "INFAMOUS BRYANBOY POSE" photos that you have sent me, but I believe that’s only a very small percentage of the people who read (and/or visit) my blog religiously.
Weirdest Dream EVAR!
Karl Lagerfeld: "You are as Beeeg as a Peeeg."
Ugh! I’ve been slacking all week long. In fact, I haven’t shaved since since last week. My entire face is covered with stubble. Boy I look so fucking rough and hideous. Bin Laden would’ve been so proud of me for channeling my inner taliban. At this point, even smack junkie Pete Doherty looks better than me.
I was supposed to get some highlights and my hair done at 2PM this afternoon with one of my gal pals but I ended up getting out of bed 3 hours late. Don’t ask me why – I already missed far too many appointments this week (including a late lunch session with Mrs. T) because of my fucked up sleeping habits.
I had 9 hours of sleep instead of my usual 4. I got up at 5 in the afternoon all sweaty and freaked out: I had the strangest
dream nightmare EVER… and to think, it’s rare for me to dream. Extremely rare. I’m too old for that dreaming bullshit. Afterall, sleeping is the only time my mere 2 brain cells get to rest. I’m gonna dream WHEN I WANT TO and that’s when I’M AWAKE. You know, foie gras wishes and Chanel haute couture dreams.
To Market To Market!
Foulard by Louis Vuitton, sunglasses from Dior, Pepsi t-shirt from Dolce & Gabbana, amber & gold necklace from Kenneth Jay Lane, bag from Hermès, jeans by Acne, boots by Frye.
I was bored out of my skull yesterday late afternoon so my sister nad I joined our mom and our maid to the supermarket. Kind of.
We skipped the whole roam-around-with-a -trolley thing and went straight to my favourite local patisserie Bizu. It’s pointless to watch your mom and the help browse raw, dead meat when you can sashay around the mall and try to get cute boys check out your OWN meat. Hahaha!
Anyway, my sis and I went to Bizu to have "breakfast"… at 6 in the evening!
Ooooh lookie lookie at at all those colourful macarons. I don’t like the blue-coloured mint one. Yuck! My favourite has got to be the green-coloured pistacchio and the purple-coloured blueberry. Scrumptious! It’s been ages since I last went to this place… even my mom only goes to Bizu for their macarons!
One day, when I get really really really rich and when I get my own big house with no traces of my familia de horreur in sight, I’ll invite each and every one of you and we’re gonna have a big macarons and tea party. I’ll buy macarons from Bizu by the truckload and I’ll import tea from Fauchon.
Then we’ll have a big orgy and you’ll watch me get gangbanged.
After Bizu, we went to our local bookstore to look for a book that was recommended to me by a reader called "Wolves in Chic Clothing". It’s a book written by the same people who wrote one of my favourite books, "The Right Address". I love these Park Avenue/New York society schmoiety books. It’s one step up from my previous reads such "Gossip Girls" etc. Books like these are very hilarious and highly entertaining. It’s fun to read stories involving the rich, the richer, the richest, the high society and all their drama in spite of the fact that they’re fiction. It makes you think "damn, I’m so glad I don’t belong in such circles" etc.
Wolves in Chic Clothing is available at Amazon.com for US$14.27. You can even get it cheaper on Amazon.com if you buy a like-new or used copy. It’s sad that my bookstore is sold out of the book.
We didn’t roam around the mall that much. I know that there’s NOTHING to see and to think, I’m almost there EVERY fucking day so we went back to the supermarket to take some pictionary shots.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wait… we passed by this shop called "Tutto Moda" and saw this super old, super god knows how many seasons ago Gucci bag for about US$1,784.50 (P93,450). I can’t believe they’re still selling it at FULL PRICE!!! This is exactly why
NOBODY there aren’t a lot of people who buy luxury goods in this country. Inventory rarely moves because it’s rare for the shops to put items on sale!!! If things DO go on sale, they’ll only shave 15 or 20% off, unlike in other countries where they take 50-70% off the original price…. and to think, these items are oh so last season ago.
Camilla in a GAY Scandal and Willian finds out her shocking secret. What? Camilla is a man? Old news baby. I bet you a million dollars that Camilla DOES have a penis and Charles loves taking it up the shitter. Next!
I LOOOVE the fruits and vegetables section… always a nice backdrop for photos. It’s oh-so-domesticated.
Fashion Trivia #164349: did you know that Calvin Klein model Natalia Vodianova used to be a fruit market girl in Nizhny Novgorod in Russia?
Not too long ago, I watched this documentary about these anorexic Australian twins. A camera crew and a doctor visited their house and all they found on their fridge was a slice of watermelon. I was chatting with a friend the other day and I told her I should embark on a "watermelon and diet coke"-only diet. I really need to lose weight and anorexia is my only salvation.
We went straight home after the supermarket. I had a great time. It was Monday for god’s sake! I had much needed oxygen and it’s always nice to strut around and walk like Mariacarla Boscono at the fuckin mall.
Today’s Obligatory Paparazzi Shot(s)
Billionaire Bachelors Club
I was chatting to a friend on MSN and he gave me this link to check out. It’s Forbes’ Billionaire Bachelors list. I saw this list ages ago so it’s good to be reminded again.
It’s amazing how all of these boys are filthy rich yet they’re all fucking fugly. Proof that money can’t buy good looks the same way money can’t buy class or style (look at me… I’m a circus of my own and to think, I don’t even have that much money!).
Anyway, who needs good looks if you have THAT much money? I’ve seen a lot of FILTHY rich people and they look really awful and hideous. Even poor people look good compared to them. Hell yeah, look at all those poor models who end up prostituting once their careers are over. LOL. In this superficial and material world that we live in, money speaks louder than bone structure. Who needs jaw-dropping DNA when you’ve got at least 10 figures in your bank account? Even the pope will have unsafe sex with you if you’re dripping with that much wealth.
Say hello to daddy!!!!
Out of everyone on that list, I find Mikhail Prokhorov and 22-year old "Prince Albert" (HAHAHAHAHAHA) err Albert von Thurn und Taxis quite "doable". Ok… I wouldn’t touch them with a bat had they been poor but out of everyone on the list, they’re the ones who look ok. I think I’m biased because
1) I like Russians – those Russians certainly know how to play hard. And a Russian with $6.4 Billion dollars can easily turn my dream into a reality — to be an oligarch’s wife, all novvye russkiye (new Russian) style in $120,000 chinchilla furs and US$11,000 crocodile Fendi b bags.
2) I have a soft spot for young people – I don’t know what it is but I’ve always been a jailbait magnet. As much as I’d want to have a sugar daddy to spoil me rotten, it’s different to be with someone a little younger than me. God forbid I end up a pedophile someday.
Come to mommmmmmma
and 3) I like billionaires – who doesn’t? Billionaires trump millionaires any time of the day sweetie.
Ok, except Fahd Hariri. The fine line starts here and let’s not even go there.
He may be only 25, worth US$2.7 BILLION dollars and can easily turn me into the new MOUNA AL AYOUB but there’s something in his eyes that are sooo satanic.
Oh good lord just fucking look at me. I’m a gold digger at such tender age. For all you know, I could end up with a penniless (not penisless) man in the future.
And with my attitude (in addition to my ugliness), I might even end up
with NO MAN AT ALL!!!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Poor me. I’m doomed for the rest of my life!
Podcast #6 coming up in a bit… and Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax. Be sure to subscribe to my podcast. You WON’T FIND IT on iTunes. Visit
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PPSS. Bryanboy älskar svenskar!
Jag talar till alla lata, svenska mammaknullare. Lyft på luren och ring +46-08-5592-6279 för att tala in ett meddelande till mig. Säg ert förnamn och vart i Sverige du ringer ifrån. Jag vill även höra er säga det magiska ordet "Baboosh" och jag vill att DU, ja DU, säger att du ÄLSKAR MIG.
Du kan också ställa vilken fråga du vill. På ENGELSKA, såklart.
TRYCK PÅ DENNA LÄNK FÖR ATT HÖRA ETT
EXEMPEL PÅ ETT MEDDELANDE
(ignorera musiken i bakgrunden)
Du kan också ställa vilken fråga du vill. På ENGELSKSKA, såklart. Jag kommer publicera ditt meddelande på min nästa podcast.
RING NU SLYNOR! ALLA NI SMUTSIGA SVENSKA SLYNOR, HOROR OCH BÖGAR! jag vill höra din röst, det borde inte ta mer än 1 minut. Hahahaha!
Jag älskar er som alltid.