Lights, Camera, Talk Metro!
Fuck! I THINK I totally fucked up on my LIVE interview earlier. I was sooo friggin nervous I ended up looking like a complete trainwreck… at least that’s what I felt. Cut me some slack though; I have the flu – fever, sore throat, cough and colds.
It’s a miracle I didn’t shat on my pants earlier.
Anyway, I wish I had illegal substances earlier to calm me down. I seriously would’ve opted for whatever River Phoenix had before he died outside The Viper Room.
DOWN SYNDROME in Dior Homme. That’s all I gotta say.
If you got a dollar everytime you heard me sigh, cough, laugh, snort (like a coke whore), say "um" or "you know", you’d be a millionaire by now. Thank god I didn’t fart!
The only thing that was missing was a fuckin loincloth… at least I’d fit my "ooga wooga mooga" caveman TV persona.
Shit, even my voice sounded soooo gay.
My voice is friggin irritating.
I sounded like a stuffy-nosed Irish drag queen on crack cocaine.
Both my hosts, Philipp and Caroline (sp? I forgot her name), were complete PROFESSIONALS. The questions were spot-on, I enjoyed their humor and they did the very best to make me feel comfortable. They also tried to rescue me whenever I get tongue-tied.
It’s a great opportunity and a fantastic learning experience though. It’s not often that I get to be on TV.
Natural high galore… it was FUCKING EXHILIRATING and NERVE WRACKING at the same time.
I’ll be honest… I’m actually NOT disappointed with the outcome.
Why? Because I sorta had a clue that I’m gonna be shit on TV.
If I’m gonna be fine on LIVE TELEVISION, dontcha think I should’ve been on TV ages and ages ago?
Let’s face it… I’m not built for TV.
Save it for people with perfect teeth and those who use whitening products.
What the heck… at least my makeup was good… thanks to my friend Xeng Zulueta, make-up artist extraordinaire (Shu Uemura). She got interviewed as well.
Ooooh I love Shu Uemura.
XENG… GIMME A LIST OF THE PRODUCTS YA USED ONE ME INCLUDING THE COLORS ETC SO I CAN BUY THEM WHEN I GO TO RUSTAN’S!
A family member (gasp) recorded the thing and the 20-minute interview is permantly etched on my head.
Note to people who are gonna be interviewed on TV soon:
1) Take lots of drugs. Get yourself relaxed by injecting the same stuff they use for lethal injections.
2) Learn how to speak eloquently. I sounded like a caveman on TV. Always remember: OOGA WOOGA MOOGA.
2) Stop making noises. In fact, do not MOVE. The only thing thats important are your eyes, your mouth and your clothes. Nothing else. Be a fuckin mannequin in front of the camera.
3) DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, INHALE or EXHALE throughout the interview. OXYGEN DEPRIVATION is the key for that perfect TV look.
4) Be straight to the point when giving out answers to your hosts. You have no time for mental block.
5) Xanax, Valium, Rivotril, Mogadon, Ambien, Vicodin. Swallow two of each and wash them down with a bottle of vodka.
Practice makes perfect. I know I’ll be better next time.
I HIGHLY DOUBT IF THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME.
Now I know what those American Idol rejects feel…
Talk Metro. Every Saturdays at 8PM on ANC (ABS-CBN News Channel). It’s also available to viewers around the world via TFC (The Filipino Channel). Check with your local cable/satellite TV operator if it’s available in your area.
I’m not really a fan of this obese platinum blond aryan whore named PINK but her latest video brings home the bacon.
Visit this link to watch Pink’s latest video.
God I LOVE pop culture: the eternal quest to having the perfect, emaciated body via eating disorders and drug abuse, the ridiculous clothes, the trashiest accesories one can wear that’s worth several months of an average person’s salary, the belief that sex sells, the liposuctions, the cosmetic surgeries and the need to look plastic… I LOOOOOVE it all!
Maybe if I act like that, flippin my blond hair back, push up my bra like that…
I like the bit where she said….
Oh my god guys, I totally had like 300 calories that is soo not sexy.
*ugh* *vomit* *ugh*
I WILL BE SKINNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I love it. I really do.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Cataluna, Spain, Kent, OH, Trenton, NJ, San Angelo, TX, Chicopee, MA, Fall River, MA, Hastings On Hudson, NY, Shawford, NH, Kanagawa, Japan, Burwood, NSW Australia, Ostfold, Norway, Leuven, Vlaams-Brabant Belgium, Jaguh, Johor Malaysia, all my friends who live in Trollhattan, Vastra Gotaland Sweden and of course, my homies in Severna Park, MD. I love, love, love, love you all!
#2 – Bryanboy gives a huge shout out to all his lovers and friends from Melbourne, Australia, especially Suz. Thanks darling, you’re sooo sweet.
Nikki (from Queens, NY if I’m not mistaken) sent me a picture of his love. In spite the fact that he didn’t show his face and he couldn’t spell my name right, it’s the thought that counts and I love him regardless.
#3 – I’m sure you people know how I despise photoshop. Here are 3 exceptions though. The first image came from Paul, who, in celebration of Australia Day, thought me and Cate Blanchett have similar features while the other one is from Joella who lives in Sweden.
This threesome photo brought a smile to my face, courtesy of a guy from Offtopic. I love it.. though that pic of me looks as if I have a hairy chest.
#4 – I didn’t go to that Paul Van Dyk event yesterday night. I’m not going out tonight either. I’m still sick. Not even the liquid strepsils thing I bought in Moscow last year could save my sore throat.
#5 – I finally found a webhost that offers at least 1 Terabyte of data transfer. Whew!! Dreamhost.com, say hello to Bryanboy.
I think that’s all for now. My throat, head, neck and back hurts. I think I’m gonna give birth now.
As always, you know where to contact me. Email email@example.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
Brown is Beautiful
I spent a couple of hours tanning myself yesterday with cans of Lancaster self-tan that I got at Sephora in Paris. Here’s the result. I think I look good. No? Photographer Mark Nicdao certainly knows how to make people look good. Hahaha!
Cashmere t-shirt by Marni, shorts from ShoeMart (US$8!!!!!!!!!!), John Galliano tights, Balenciaga bag, Chanel dog tag necklace.
For the first time ever, I looked good under the influence of alcohol.
Trust me… based on some of my old pictures, THIS is far too good to be true. Hah!
I love my bangs!
And I definitely love my onion bulb nose. I don’t give a flying fuck even if you tell me that my hideous nose occupies a quarter of my face… I ain’t getting rhinoplasty done.
Not at least while I’m young.
I think I’m gonna play with my hair from now on. You know… discover new colors, play around with highlights, etc. I want to change my look every once in a while.
Birthday Wishes Galore
Big birthday wishes to Gino and Miguel. I went to this nice little bar yesterday night called "Luce" to celebrate their birthdays.
It was most definitely refreshing to have a relaxed Saturday night. No crowds, no pressure and definitely no stress. In fact, I got home before 3:30AM!
My friend even got her Moto pink razr… with her name engraved on the front of the phone! OMG. How cool is that?
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Omaha, NE, Newton, MA, Uvalde, TX, Torp, Sweden, High Wycombe, UK, Pudu, Malaysia, Eufaula, AL, Phoenixville, PA, Bayern, Germany, St. Paul, MN, Skurup, Sweden, Huddinge, Sweden, Tbilisi, Georgia, Ryde, NSW Australia, Tampines New Town, Singapore, Liberec, Czech Republic and of course, my homies who live in Hangenmeilingen, Germany. Bryanboy loves yo all. Identify yourselves bitches by saying hello.
#2 – Happy birthday to AJ. It’s official – you are now a decade older than me.
#3 – Oooo. Even Valentino loves Bareback Mountain. Yes, Valentino as in Valentino. I need to see that film PRONTO!!!!!
Can someone please fedex me a cowboy of my own from rural america?
If you can’t fedex one, tell him to email me and send me a picture. Please be younger than 35. Email firstname.lastname@example.org
#4 – You gotta love what I picked up on an internet forum earlier. Hilarious!
#5 – Ooh la la! More Bryanboy poses from all over the world!
#6 – Awww. Bryanboy loves you too, Tony. :) I’ll go to Norrkoping the next time I go to Sweden!
Stay young, stay pretty, stay beautiful. For everything else, there’s botox.
You know where to contact me. Email email@example.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492 if you find a guy who will buy me dinner and feed me champagne.
This is a pen.
You HAVE to watch this interview. Fuckin hilarious! I’m surprised that this SEVENTEEN year old Japanese kid didn’t cream his pants when Dakota Fanning hugged him.
Full video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfmHCBnT1aY
Although Dakota didn’t answer his questions well, I’m impressed with her professionalism and the way she handled the interview. How old is she anyway? 10? 12? Gosh.
Put myself in her shoes and I would’ve reached out for my handbag and give the poor kid a shitload of xanax.
It’s official: WEARING YOUR CLOTHES MORE THAN ONCE IS CHIC AGAIN!
This is great news for all the little people out there (such as myself) who cannot afford to wear things JUST once.
You can blame the House of Chanel (no less) for this crime against fashion.
The folks at 31 Rue Cambon are having a grand day for sending Reese Witherspoon a dress worn by Kirsten Dunst back in 2002.
That aside, Chanel also sent Natalie Portman a dress that Debra Messing wore in 2001 and Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman 2.
The only lucky bitch in this world is Kirsten Dunst — she gets to wear everything first before handing them out to everyone!
Email from St. Bernadette
I really don’t know what to say. You see, I receive far too many emails on a daily basis from people all over the world and this one bites the cake.
I don’t even know what to say/feel/react etc. Read it for yourself and tell me what YOU think.
Is it freaky? Is it too intense? Is it psychotic?
Don’t get me wrong, there’s something about psychotic people that I like. Perhaps I’m in need of therapy myself.
Read her email thoroughly. Perhaps she’s just playing around? For all I know, s/he could be a famous, wealthy and powerful person. I love it how I can get so delusional sometimes…
I’m quite intrigued on how s/he insulted me on the first paragraph of her email and then she opened up and then asked whether or not I’m a fake. CLASSIC!
Nevertheless, she did ask a serious question.
Am I the type who will use other people just to be somewhat happy?
After serious thought (oh yes), I’d say no.
1. I’ve dedicated almost my entire life in making MYSELF happy without the aid (or with minimal aid) of anyone else.
2. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why I’m still single; I’m not proactive or desperate enough to have someone to make me happy.
3. In most cases, I feel soo much better whenever I’m alone vs with a group of people.
4. I sought acceptance from others for several years, thinking that would make me happy… only to realize it’s not the acceptance of others that I need… it’s acceptance of MYSELF.
Now I won’t be a hypocrite and say I LITERALLY don’t need anyone to make me happy.
I do want people to be there in the event that I’m sad or when I need support. In fact, we all need some sort of a support system in place.
To cut this drama short, I think there’s only one person in the world that can truly make you happy.
And that person is YOURSELF.
I learned about this when many, many people failed me in the past.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Den Engelsen Hoek, Antwerp Belgium, Trber-Siedlug, Austria, Ryde, NSW Australia, Koppenbach, Germany, Flushing, NY, Rome, Italy, Procoio Nuvo, Italy, Kista, Sweden, Harwood Heights, IL, Boston, MA, Tarragindi, QLD Australia, Kugayama, Tokyo Japan. Identify yourselves bitches and say hello.
#2 – Long live Kate Moss. Buy the latest issue of W and see the goddess bask in her glory.
Someone feed her cocaine though; she’s gotten fat all over the years (I don’t blame here) no wonder she’s befriending La Lohan.
#3 – Bryanboy shouts out to all the beautiful people at Makeup Alley. I love each and every one of you.
#4 – I don’t give a shit whether or not my website takes forever to load. IT’S A SIGN FOR YOU TO DITCH YOUR NASTY DIAL-UP CONNECTION AND GET SOMETHING FASTER.
Besides, my site is worth the wait. Say yes ya fuckin twats.
#5 – Holy mother of god. Miuccia Prada is notorious for ONLY sending out aryans on the catwalk. I’m quite shocked that she sent this guy on the Miu Miu runway. I WANT those shoes. I’m GONNA have those shoes.
#6 – Next week is haute couture week. I’m sure Mouna Al-ayoub and those billion dollar taitais are en-route to Paris. Lucky mother fuckers. I can only dream to be just like them one day… oh well. Poor Nan… I still can’t get over the fact that Mrs. Kempner is now six feet under the ground.
#7 – Why can’t I find a god damn boyfriend? I know I’m not the best looking person out there but surely there must be someone half-decent in this country who likes me.
#8 – How to Lose a Pound in 10 Days. Click here.
#9 – I just found out that an anorexic’s best friend is a can of good ol diet coke. Apparently if you drink a can of this in the morning, you won’t feel hungry for the rest of the day.
#10 – This is one of the best emails that I received in the longest time, especially on the bit where Brad said "Of course, you’ve heard it a zillion times and you probably print these emails out and use them to wipe your ass but I just had to make it a zillion and one."
Err, Brad, um, err… I actually print these emails and eat them. Sometimes I sprinkle salt and pepper for taste. I can seriously survive on these cause they’re fat free.
Thanks sweetie for the lovely and kind words.
Dates with gorgeous people?
BRAD OH BRAD.
I HOPE YOU’RE NOT HALLUCINATING!!!!!!!!!
YOU’D DIE OF SHOCK IF YOU KNEW HOW HARD AND LONELY MY LIFE IS IN THE THIRD WORLD.
You see, NOBODY and I mean NOBODY likes anyone who is a flamer, brown and have a nasty nose… like me.
A lot of people in this country are sooo obsessed in people who:
a) looks half chinese
b) looks half spanish
c) looks half something something
d) looks like a pale mother fucker with all the skin-whitening crap they put on their faces and bodies.
One of my acquaintances said the best thing ever earlier in the week: PEASANTS NEED LOVING, TOO!
This is why I love travelling. Whenever I set foot on a foreign land, I’m queen of the nile… little miss l’exotique at its best.
A shitload of wrinkly, sex-starved people visit this country for sex tourism.
I on the other hand, GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY just to keep my sex life updated.
Seriously though… you won’t recognize me if you see me walk around the streets of the third world… i look like miss plain jane!
Here’s a dare: get me a decent date around here and I’ll give you a kiss on the cheek, a dollar and an oreo cookie.
And be sure sure he’ll pay for dinner.
More updates later.
Y’all know where to contact me. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
I love you all, as always.
My trip to the grand dame powerhouse of all things media – TV and Publishing was FUN! FUN! FUN! Who whould have thought I’d get a nice, little tour of what goes on behind the scenes where the money factory is? Alright, the only thing that was missing was a trip to a radio station.
Let’s play pictionary shall we?
First off… I met this guy. He’s the son of a really famous actress who is now a politician. His name is Lucky if I’m not mistaken… yes mother fuckers… he’s that LUCKY for having Vilma Santos as his mom.
I *KNOW* what you’re thinking.
We went to a studio where a noon-time show is being broadcasted live. THEY WERE HANDING OUT MOTORCYCLES FOR FREE! It was soooo surreal!!!!! I stood backstage and I saw 2 motorcycles right pass right in front of me.
And then we went to another studio and got to see all these TV things…
And of course, I had to get my picture taken with this guy. He’s a famous actor here in the third world.
HANNAH MATRONIC EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
Ugh. I’m cringeing with shock, awe and horreur with all these cheeky fun. I LOVE IT though. HAHAHAHA!
Anyway, I saw him in flesh and he was running off somewhere.
Perhaps the highlight of my tour was the fact that I FINALLY got to see what a publishing house looks like. If you only knew how monumental it was for me.
(One thing I forgot to ask is why on earth there aren’t there any half-naked models going in for go-sees?)
You see, back when I was a child, I wanted to be a doctor. Then I realized I didn’t want to operate on all things lifeless (i.e. my dolls).
When my imaginary friends came into the picture (i.e. the SAME dolls), I decided I wanted to be a teacher. I talked to my stuffed toys all day and all night as if they were my students.
My parents bought me everything a teacher had; a blackboard, chalk, eraser, lesson plans and class record books where you write down your students’ grades.
I was 12 years old. Oh the memories.
When that inevitable thing called "ageing" hit me, I thought the perfect job would be that of working in a magazine.
You know… something really piss easy, like being an accessories editor for a fashion magazine… like yYou get your own page and all you do is pick 10 good accessories and bam, effortless work.
It’s only until last year that the truth came out.
Working for a publication will suck the blood out of your body and drain you like a whore.
I now have soo much respect for people who work in magazines/newspapers.
Nuclear Wintour is another story though.
Lindsay Lohan for Vanity Fair
I think my interview with one of the top magazines went well. I guess I’ve always been tongue-in-cheek and I’m just not used to be asked serious, in-depth questions. Today was quite different. Not even aluminum hydrochloride saved my palms from sweating. I did, however, answer in the best way that I possibly can (hey… practice makes perfect).
I’ve been interviewed several times in the past (mostly newspapers) and luckily, everything that has been published about me were 100and20% positive with no regrets whatsoever.
I have to admit I’m kinda feeling a little worried. But hey, it’s all about trust.
I sent a text message to some of my friends informing them where my new domicile would be in the event my self-depreciating mouth got me into trouble.
Especially the part where I said something about who I think is cute in local showbiz. Oh god. How embarassing.
1. I shared more than what I should’ve shared about my crappy childhood. It’s true though. I didn’t have true friends. Most of my classmates were two-faced homophobic bitches and my teachers came from hell. I sincerely hope they turn into fucking ashes.
Wait… they will!
2. I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. Never have, never will. And I will never be ashamed that all I got was Bs and Cs in school… add the Ds to conduct and religion.
3. I’m certified member of Home Hermits Anonymous; I usually spend 16 hours a day in front of the computer and I’m not fucking ashamed about it.
4. Contrary to what people think, I only go out once or twice a week and most of my "real friends" are limited to that of the healthcare sector – my manicure and pedicure gal, my aesthetician (Belinda), my hair stylist (Dennis of Provost) and my doctor (Dr. Andrew).
5. I’m really a loner.
6. My name is Bryanboy and I propel anorexia.
7. I’m kidding. It didn’t go THAT far.
8. You’d be shocked as to WHO I said the one person (in the Philippines) I’d love to meet.
Don’t worry… I’ll scan the interview when it goes out.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Livorno, Toscana Italy, Vienna, Austria, Kisa, Sweden, Gilles Plains, SA Australia, Forsby, Sweden, Buskerud, Norway, Jakarta, Indonesia, Auckland, New Zealand, Temecula, CA, Richmond, TAS Australia, Seattle, WA and of course, people from Annandale, NSW Australia. Identify yourselves bitches and say hello!
#2 – Many, many, many thanks to my hosts at ABS-CBN Publishing for the warm reception… and the scrumptious lunch!!!!
#3 – You know where to send imagery of your love. Email email@example.com. No photoshopped photos please!
#4 – Why is it soo damn hard to find SIZE 14 men’s shirts in Manila? The smallest size Paul Smith have is SIZE 15 or 15.5!!!! There’s a market for slim people out here you know? I know I’m starting to look like a malnourished African child complete with a bulging tummy and thin arms but hey, I need shirts too! If you know of a place where I can buy customized/tailored button down shirts (in Manila), please let me know. DON’T TELL ME I HAVE TO GET MYSELF FATTER JUST TO BUY MEN’S CLOTHES CAUSE I’D RATHER FLUSH MYSELF DOWN THE TOILET THAN CHANGE MY BODY WITH THE AID OF ANYTHING EDIBLE.
#5 – This photo screams LOVE. LOVE, LOVE and LOVE!
#6 – Yes mother fuckers. Even people from Hamburg, ARKANSAS (HOW FAR IS IT FROM ALTUS????) love my pose. Thanks Ginger. You all look absolutely stunning and gorgeous. I love you all!
And if that person wearing a red jacket is a guy, please tell him that I’d rather see him naked.
Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous!
As always, you know how to get a hold of me. Keep those emails and text messages coming. Bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
Stay young, stay pretty and stay beautiful. Don’t do anything that I won’t do.
Pictionary Galore: Guilty Pleasures and Errands
I’ll never forget what a friend said — I should never, ever, ever, ever, feel guilty about my pleasures.
That’s why I’ll let you in on one of my deepest, darkest secrets.
Screw the amazing confit de canard or seared escalope de foie gras I had from Josephine Chez Dumonet in Paris.
Assuming I got sentenced to death for a henious crime (rape, murder, etc.), this would be the last meal I’d ask my jail warden.
I ***LOVE*** Jollibee Chickenjoy. It’s the best fried chicken in the world.
To hell with hypertension and blocked arteries. Not even cardiac arrest would stop me from eating the crispest chicken skin. Dip ‘em in gravy before shoving it up your gob. It’s pure oral orgasm right then and there.
If you don’t live in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives and you are planning to go to this country, don’t forget to pay Jollibee a visit. You’ll thank me for it.
It’s 2:30PM here and I accomplished a lot of stuf today. I went to my friend’s office to pick up my airline tickets.
You gotta love those Cheap Monday jeans I got in Stockholm. They’re the BEST skinny jeans ever. Thank god I bought 2 pairs of the same style. I should’ve bought 5 pairs… silly me. God knows when I’ll go to Sweden again.
I also went to my office to pick up my mail. I haven’t been to my office since I left. Silly me. Jakob from Sweden has been bugging me to go there cause he sent me a Christmas card. He sent me a card back when I was in Paris and to my dismay, it’s still not there. I hate it. I’ll ask him to send me a card again.
A card that says something like how he’ll be the father of my first born child.
Hahahaha! Fuck it. I’m sooo disappointed with the third world postal system.
Filipino Postal System = EPITOME OF THE SLOW BOAT.
I’m starting to like this smile thing.
Moving on…. I got a surprise from all the lovely folks at Fudge Magazine. Thanks :) They sent me a copy with me on it. I’m a label whore alright. Loves it. :)
These Cheap Monday jeans are REALLY a godsend. I swear by them. I don’t know how you can get them without going to Sweden. Search it on google or something.
Here’s another smile smile photo. Enough already. I think it’s getting quite obvious that I’m faking it.
All I can say is…. GORGEOUS. FUCKING GORGEOUS.
I also went to the Peninsula Hotel valet shop to pick up my dry cleaning.
And of course, no trip to the city would be complete without…. SHOPPING! I bought 2 shirts at Paul Smith and I also went to Shoemart (aka "SM"). If you want cheap bargains, go to SM. I love that place. I think the last time I went there was back in 2004 when I bought a samsonite thing. I bought a shitload of socks… and 3 pairs of shorts (brown, beige and olive) for no more than US$50!!!!!
Today’s been productive. I love how I accomplished everything in no more than 4-5 hours.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Abbotsford, NSW Australia, Negros Occidentail, Philippines (woah!), Camberwell, VIC Australia, Cincinnati, OH, Austin, TX, Englewood Cliffs, NJ, Coventry, CT, Stoufville, ONT Canada, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Kearny, NJ, Columbia, SC, Orlando, FL, Lindfield, NSW Australia, Spartanburg, SC and of course, people from Bethesda, MD. Bryanboy loves you all. Identify yourselves bitches and lick my ass crack.
#2 – I feel sorry for those who judge a blog’s success by the amount of comments that one gets. It’s NOT the comments that make a blog successful. There are a few out there who want to spark a war between my blog and someone’s elses blog. Screw it though. My time is valuable and my mere 2 brain cells can’t handle anything more than what I currently have on my plate.
#3 – Send me some love! Send me some hate! Send me whatever it is that you can create! I love the latest batch of pics showing the infamous Bryanboy pose. These Americans sure know how to do it.
OOOOOOOOOOO Some 100% pure NYC love right from the middle of Times Square… I love you Colleen, I love you Kiersten!
Runnin’ pretty, New York City girl, Twenty-five, thirty-five, Hello, baby, New York City girl
You grew up ridin’ the subways, running with people… Up in Harlem, down on Broadway… You’re no tramp, but you’re no lady, talkin’ that street talk, You’re the heart and soul of New York City
And love, love is just a passing word… It’s the thought that you had in a taxi cab that got left on the curb… When he dropped you off and he stated firm
Oh, oh, oh [Oh, oh, oh]… You’re a native New Yorker… You should know the score by now [You should know by now]… You’re a native New Yorker
Even Shoelover loves me… Visit http://shoelover.typepad.com.
FINALLY…. some homegrown third world love! Melanie sent me this fabulous picture of her family doing a tribute to… ME! Look at all those luscious lips… I love the pout on each and every one of you. GORGEOUS! ADOPT ME PLEASE? I need a new family…
I think that’s about it. For now. I’ll update later in the evening.
I love you all, as always. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life. You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life. You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly. Into the light of a dark black night. Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly. Into the light of a dark black night.
I love that song. I had to buy it off iTunes after hearing it yesterday… I just can’t get it off my head. In fact, it sorta kept me happy the entire day.
I even smiled for the camera… something I don’t NEVER do. What the hell though… fuck it! I’ll smile because I’m happy. This is probably the first or second time you’ll see my nasty teeth (they look much worse in real life) on this blog so consider this picture a milestone. I wish I have perfect teeth… just the way they have it on the red carpets of Los Angeles, CA. Americans (especially celebs) seem to have the ultimate smiles… 200,000-megawatt perfection… super straight, ultra white perfection.
I on the other hand got stuck with British teeth.
Screw my parents for being soo poor when I was a child. They probably couldn’t afford to get me some braces hence my bad teeth. My 8 years of smoking, my newfound addiction to coca cola and of course, my long-term love affair with tea pretty pretty much fucked up my pearly whites.
Ok… That’s a lie. I brought this subject up with my parents and they told me it was ME who didn’t want to wear braces because I thought they were ugly.
God.. if only I knew then what I knew now.
Ignore the hair. I wanted my hair to take a break from all the products that I use so I didn’t put anything on it. Yes, I fucking look like a lesbian. No, I don’t look like Sharleen Spiteri. Yes, I need to lose weight.
Yesterday was alright. It was an afternoon of pure pampering.
I had a massage, a foot spa session and a pedicure done. It’s nice to get my soles soft again. I also went back to my aesthetician cause I broke out over the weekend. I think I got 3 zits out of nowhere. They’re all gone though and I’m zit free again. Thank god for those injections.
I’ll keep this entry short and sweet. It’s 8:02AM and I have to go to a friend’s office to pick up my airline tickets. I’m spending the entire weekend at the beach!
You know where to contact me. Email email@example.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
I’ll update as soon as I get back. Good morning, good afternoon and good evening to all of you. I love you all!.
How Can Someone Be So Drunk And Still Look Good?
Here’s another reason why you should hate Paris Hilton. How in the world can she be drunk and still look fucking good?
I certainly don’t look that good when I’m drunk.
Hell, sober or not, I don’t look that good.
End of story.
Yesterday was a blast. I kicked off my day with a mini shopping trip to the city with my little sister.
I wanted to buy a present for a good friend (whose birthday is today) but I ended up buying a few things for myself. I picked up some incense, a necklace, a bracelet, a Gucci top, some Nars and Yves Saint Laurent cosmetics.
As always, no shopping trip is complete without paying a visit to my favourite haunt, M Cafe at the Ayala Museum. I had my usual lemongrass prawns + mango salad and oysters. I seriously love that place.
My sis even made me smile, in spite of having a bad hair day. Everyone knows I *NEVER* smile when it comes to photos. I hate it. I always end up looking like:
1) a rapist
2) a fake, plastic fantastic person
3) a psychopath
4) a devious, spiteful little bitch
5) and of course, a murderer
You be the judge and tell me what you think.
Apres dinner, my sis and I went home so I can shower, change clothes and go to a friend’s birthday party at Citrus.
I know I’ve been gone for (only) a month and a half but it felt as if I was gone for years. It was quite bizarre at first to see soo many familiar faces in the land of the "same old same old" – your friends, your former friends, your acquaintances, your new acquaintances, your backstabbers and your frenemies.
It’s all nice and wonderful though. It’s way better than staying at home in front of the computer (like what I usually do 95% of the time).
In spite of the booze, the palpitations and the pretense, I always learn something new every time I go out.
I always believed that I’m little miss imperfection in a bottle. Screw the cork open and I’ll create a spectacle. The more bottles you open, the further I perfect my act.
I admit – I still need to polish my social skills. Sometimes I feel like a fool for not being able to manage a decent conversation. When people ask questions, I want to be able to answer them eloquently.
The only time I can manage a decent conversation is when:
1) I’m being a bitch
2) I’m whining and complaining about something
3) the other person and I are gossipping about other people
I guess the hardest part is whenever people throw the ball in my court and ask questions about myself.
To an extent, I’m still uncomfortable talking about myself to other people, hence it’s easier to talk about others.
I was gonna add something to that "to an extent" sentence but I just realized why my blog exists!
Now I know why I’m such a pretentious, narcissistic cunt online. It’s because….
I HATE TALKING ABOUT MYSELF (IN PERSON OR IN PUBLIC), HENCE THE NEED TO PURGE IT ALL OUT ONLINE.
I think it’s true though.
I know I’m being completely rude. The reason why they’re asking questions about me is because they’re interested at me and would like to get to know me.
Anyway, back to yesterday’s events…. I have a manicure and pedicure appointment in an hour. I have to finish this post and get ready. Save the drama for a later time.
So yeah… I ended up drunk last night.
I was sooo FUCKING drunk I made statements like:
1) You know, I think I’m going to stop wearing tank tops and t-shirts for a month.
2) I think I’m gonna start wearing button-down shirts from now on.
3) I despise you!!!!!!
4) I’m not horny. I’ve lost my libido as soon as I landed at the (Manila) airport. (I told this to some guy who was cruising me at the toilets).
I wish I took more pictures last night but I was too drunk to function.
I love you all as always. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
No Facial Expressions
I thought I’d publish this addendum on the last minute.
1) Turn your speakers on.
2) Go to http://parisfacial.ytmnd.com/
3. Take note on how my gal pal Paris doesn’t change facial expressions.
4. Close the window (be sure to CLOSE the damn browser window)
5. Go to http://bryanboy.ytmnd.com
and tell me what you think.
Someone from an internet forum did this because he thinks I don’t change facial expressions.
Obviously he hasn’t seen my cum gargling picture.
I Want My Old Body Back!
After looking at one of my old pics, I realized shit, I want my old body back.
I had the body of an African gazelle. Look how beautiful I was… my long, thin arms, the gap between my elbows and my waist, my shoulders, my hips… skip the stomach part – I’ll forever be a pregnant bitch… not even quarterly liposuction sections can abort the fetus in my tummy.
I don’t give a fuck whether you agree with me or not but I think I fuckin looked DAMN good back then. Call me ugly, call me shit, call me fugly, I think I was once a gorgeous parakeet!
I love how I can be sooo full of myself sometimes.
What’s worse is the fact that this picture was taken only 3 years ago. It’s amazing what AGE can fucking do to one’s body. I turned into this tub of lard in no more than 1,000 days.
It’s 6:23AM and I’m having lunch in a couple of hours. I’m definitely gonna purge whatever it is I eat later… for old times’ sake.
This week is gonna be crazy.
It’s one of my friend’s birthday party tomorrow and I need to look good and presentable. I also have attend a party or two this weekend, one of which I have to dress up in my best "Shipwreck Glam" ensemble.
I think this is great. I’m finally having an opportunity to meet and interact with people again because I’m so sick and tired of being a lonely home tom.
I know it’s my fault why I’m a fucking loner.
I could easily go out each and every night but I’m just fucking lazy. I make no effort whatsoever about having a social life. I make excuses on how I don’t have anything to wear or how I live so damn far from civilization (actually, I do).
I’m also leaving in a couple of days to go somewhere el tropical – white sand, blue sky, cool breeze, sea, sun and sand in between my butt cheeks.
I started to pack my things and boy there’s a ton of outfit preparation (and shopping) that needs to be done.
I know, I know, I’m having the hardest time going logo-free. Especially if it’s Chanel we’re dealing with. Sorry to disappoint mother fuckers but shopping at the huge white store at Rue Cambon is pure torture if you want to ditch logo-a-gogo.
That being said, let me reassure you that I’m definitely gonna glam it up this later this year. Perhaps not in a "in-your-face" pile-it-all-up manner but something understated. Many of you have emailed, called and SMSed telling me I look good with my black ensemble in Paris. Fine. I’m gonna resurrect my black phase again so expect a ton of black clothes from me in the next few months. In fact, I even have black trunks/bathing suits en route to the third world from Tomas Maier.
Anyway, it just occured to me that I need to go back to the salon (again) sometime soon to get a trim. I want my hair a tad shorter and I want to get more highlights.
Bryanboy Loves and Random Cheesemax
#1 – I’m gonna give some internet discussion forum love today. Bryanboy loves people from General Mayhem, Killing Ifrit, Living With Style, Female Network, Skim Online, Houston Beats and of course, the lovely boys at Mens.Style.com.
#2 – Big shout out to people from Mount Laurel, NJ, Lynn, IN, Madrid, Spain, Ogden, UT, Chicago, IL, Dallas and Houston, TX, San Pedro, CA, Escondido, CA, Chandler, AZ, Des Plaines, IL, Marquette, MI, Bronx, NY, Carrollton, TX, Clayton, NC, Beaumont, Newfoundland, Brisbane, QLD Australia, Clifton Park, NY, Scranton, PA and of course, my homies at Cupertino, CA. Bryanboy loves you all! Identify yourselves bitches by posting a comment on my site.
#3 – Oooooooh I love these straight boys. You know how I love turning heterosexual, fanny-fucking boys into handbag-toting peeps. You know what to do to simulate the infamous Bryanboy pose – wear your best sunglasses, put one hand on your waist and do a nazi salute with a handbag! Email me your photos at email@example.com.
#4 – I now know what I wanna be when I get older. I wanna be the United Nations Secretary General! I swear to god, think of how beautiful and peaceful the world would be if I have the highest position in the diplomatic circle? With all the love I’ve been getting recently, I can unite the world in the name of vanityyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Send your images of love and hate (NO PHOTOSHOPPED PICS PLEASE) to firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m having a whole new website with these pictures soon!
#5 – These images are sooooo fucking funny. Someone made them in attempt to insult me. Well, I found them hilariou – I like the one with the Chanel bag and the colourful dildos. Gorgeous, fucking GORGEOUS!
I think that’s about it. You know where to contact me. Email email@example.com (jesus man, how many times do I have to say that email address) or SMS my Moto Razr at +63-915-785-1492.
(say it with me. you know you want to.)
There goes my US$4.95.
I have to tell you people… I lurrrrrrrrrrrrve those folks at that forum Offtopic.com. The people there have been talking about me non-stop. Some guy even started a thread saying I’m probably the gayest person in Myspace (see my myspace profile).
One guy then asked the group whether the person below is me or not… and then some minimum-waging sweetheart showed off his photoshop skills and superimposed my blowjob pic there.
I love it! HI-FUCKING-LARIOUS. Thanks for making my day. Money well-spent. :)
Summer is Coming
Summer is fast approaching in the third world. Expect the battle of the beautiful bodies and the cellulite freaks in 2 months.
As always, boys have it all on the easy side. All they need to do is to ditch that beer, inject some steroids and start working out at the nearest gym.
Girls have it tough though.
I swear to god, I am so going to have this picture blown up to a posterific proportions and post it in front of my fridge.
I don’t care what one has to do to get that perfect body. I’m taking up bulimia classes first thing Monday morning and I promise I’m gonna take pictures of my first puke.
Even Lindsay Lohan admitted to drug abuse and purging. You go girl! Show these fat mother fuckers that the only way to lose unwanted pounds is by channeling Kate Moss and purging out our inner Fiona Apples.
No, I’m not surprised.
That lucky Nicole bitch has it all – the visible rib cage, the flat stomach, the gorgeous pelvic bones, lanky arms, the visble leg gap… everything a girl needs to look perfect on the beach.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
1. Bryanboy loves people from Bordeaux, France, Atlanta, GA, King of Prussia, PA, Cleveland, OH, Dreieich, Germany, Leaside, ONT Canada, Desert Hot Springs, CA, Madison, WI, Wakarusa, IN, Sykesville, MD, Geneva, Switzerland, Vienna, Austria, Ong Lee Village, Singapore, Dublin, Ireland and of course, my homies in La Habra, California. Bryanboy loves y’all! Identify yourselves bitches by posting a comment on my blog.
2. Those Etnies shoes are nasty. Why get Etnies when you can get Etro. I want these damn sneakers. I bought a pair of these at Vivre.com for US$236.99 (formerly US$475). Aren’t they gorgeous?
3. Phoebe Philo resigned from Chloe (Vogue UK)
4. Where the hell can I get the new Tom Ford sunglasses?
5. I drink champagne in the morning, I drink champagne in the afternoon. I drink champagne in the bubble bath, I drink champagne in my dressing room. Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne!
6. Some of the items stolen from me last year: Chanel sunglasses (2), various YSL and Chanel cosmetics, Lalique ring, Fendi squirrel key chain, travellers cheques, Dior watch, Piaget watch, Dolce & Gabbana flip flops, Marni necklace. I hope you’re having a ball with my stuff whoever you are. Just because I have a carefree attitude with my shit (i.e. I don’t store them properly or I just leave them anywhere) it doesn’t mean you people can take advantage of my vulnerability. Fuckin thieves.
7. Buy that Hotel Costes 8 CD. I bought it a couple of months ago and I’m still listening to it religiously.
8. The folks at the Valet Shop of Manila Shangri-la hotel need a good spanking. I called to ask what time they close and the lady told me they are open until 9PM. I got there at 8PM on Friday (in spite of having a bad cold and slight fever) and the shop was closed. The concierge said they close at 7PM not 9. Totally wasted my time.
9. More love from all over the world. By now you should know that true love comes in the form of photographs. NO PHOTOSHOPPED photos silvous plait. Email me prima facie evidence of your unconditional love at firstname.lastname@example.org. Be fucking creative god dammit. Go to your local fire station and get those firefighters hold that I LOVE BRYANBOY sign. Make them sweaty and get them naked.
I love these girls… kisses, hugs and chanel bags for you two.
10. I haven’t down a "Bryanboy Life Archives" tidbit in a long time. For those of you who are new to this site, "Bryanboy Life Archives" is where I take out skeletons from my colourful and not-so-closeted past.
This photo was taken in London 6 years ago, back when I was barely legal. I used to smile back then. Oh how I miss those days.
11. Keep those text messages coming. Your messages of love and hate means a lot to a lonely mother fucker such as myself.
Thought I’d let y’all know that I’m an equal opportunity blogger.
I don’t blog for a certain crowd. I don’t blog for a certain class. Hell, I don’t even blog for any type of people.
I only blog for… MYSELF!
I think that’s it. It’s early Sunday morning (3:19PM) and I’m sick again. Damn cold and cough. I’m supposed to go out and have a ball. Fuck it, I’m sooo bored.
Rescue me from boredom. Entertain me mother fuckers. My email address is email@example.com. SMS +63-195-785-1492.