Sometime last week, I saw a line item on my Twitter feed that Tom Ford came out with as penis necklace. After clicking a link or two, I immediately called the Tom Ford boutique to inquire about it. I guess it was my lucky day because they had the large one available (don’t hate on size queens, please) so I placed an order and received it via messenger the same afternoon. It felt like I won the lottery of something. I can’t remember the last time I felt so genuinely happy over some fashion item. Kind of like when he came out with the amazing printed canvas and leather condom holder as part of his Spring/Summer 1999 collection for Gucci back in the day. Remember that collection? The hippie-inspired lewks with the red and blue psychedelic prints? That was MAJOR.
I didn’t even question the price tag. I absolutely despise it whenever I try to reason with myself when faced with a trivial problem like whether I should buy something or not. How many of you QUESTION yourself and ANSWER the same bloody questions in your head like an insane person? Can I see a show of hands?
This item was made for especially for me, no doubt about that.
It’s gold. (ok, fine, if you want to be technical, it’s gold-plated brass)
It’s a piece of jewelry.
It’s a penis.
It’s Tom Ford.
Best Christmas present to self EVER!!!
Shot in Financial District, New York City
Photos via Jeff Thibodeau