Oh my god! First you’ve got The Devil Wears Prada and now this. I’m the last person to know that one of my favourite books has been turned into a film and Scarlett Johansson is the star! The Nanny Diaries is one of my favourite books ever. It’s all coming to me now — Nan, Mrs. X, H.H., Grover, etc! I loooove the book! I don’t like admitting it but yeah, I guess I do read afterall… in spite of having only 2 brain cells. Don’t tell anyone though. I like to tell people I don’t read. I’m read to. LOL.
I think I’m gonna take acting classes soon. I need to improve my acting skills so when the time comes, I’m gonna audition to be Giselle Cordero‘s intern. That would be fabulous, groundbreaking third world cinematography right there! Oooooh Best Actress award here I come! LOL.
On the contrary, maybe not. My English skills are atrocious, I don’t have the moolah to support it, I don’t have a sense of style, I can’t pronounce Proenza Schouler without sounding like a drunk Lithuanian saying "fak dat beeetch", I’m almost clueless when it comes to third world celebrities (trust me, they’re not worth knowing. my hemorrhoids flare up every time I think about it), I won’t see the light of the day and I’d get shot left and right by the people I know! Hahahahaha!
This has got to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard after the whole Anna Nicole paternity extravaganza.
Photo credit: AFP/Getty
"Just say the lines and don’t trip over the furniture," advised Noel Coward. One of my favorites has done it again! Outsmarted the people who are supposed to be "in charge." The very funny Mariah Carey, who signs her notes to me "The Diva Next Door," is down in Tennessee, appearing in a movie about two brothers on a road trip in search of their estranged dad. Mariah learned a Southern accent for "Tennessee," the movie that includes Bernie Mac, James D’Arcy, Bill Sage, Chris Browning, Luce Rains and Gregory Peck’s grandson, Ethan Peck & more. The director is Aaron Woodley, and the producer is my good friend Lee Daniels, who did such a masterful job helping Halle Berry win the Oscar for "Monster’s Ball." This movie is being made "on a shoestring," so Mariah was asked to fly down to location in economy class. Those who knew her just about fainted, saying, "She’ll never do that!"
Mariah had the last laugh.
She did it.
She bought out every seat in economy and flew alone in the economy cabin.
I WOULD LIKE TO SEE SNEJANA ONOPKA BE ON THE COVER OF THIS MAGAZINE. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE NEED TO PHOTOSHOP FAT BITCHES WHEN THEY COULD PUT SLENDER MOTHER FUCKERS INSTEAD. I GUESS THEY NEED TO SELL COPIES SO PUT A FAMOUS PERSON ON THE COVER. BAH.
Ok, fine. The people who read Sports Illustrated anyway are horny, testosterone-charged males from bumfuck America who like their women fleshy and fat.
This atrocious young lady is the epitome of white trash!
You’re nice (and talented) girl Mandy… how could you possibly do this to yourself? You look like you’re a neo-hippy from the trailer park named Bobbie Ray. Oh and fyi, you gained soo much weight it’s not even funny. You look like like a fat pig. No, worse. Your face is sooo round and chubby and you look like a hippopotamus!!!
Darling, you have all the money and resources in the world. USE IT! Go to the gym! Get liposuction (or lipodissolve — that’s what I do)! Get a gastric bypass. Just do whatever it is you have to do in order to drop all that nasty weight.
Don’t forget to fire your stylist, too. That outfit only looks good on anorexic thin and tanned girls aka Rachel’s Zoe-mbies. And you’re not one of those.