Photochop is Steven Tyler’s BFF

Gotta love the photochoppers at Sports Illustrated. For those of you who care… Steven Tyler is lookin’ good and feelin’ great… at 185 years old!

I know what you did last summer. SCREAM!!!!!!

RUBY WAX IS DA BOMB!

I love her. I FUCKING LOVE HER. Ignore the watersports action between Jake and daddy Sir Ian. Ruby is fucking hilarious!

"I’m so sorry. I really apologize to the 110 countries. It means something else in English. It means to "show love".

Bitch is absolutely fabulous!

Kimora Lee Simmons

Copycat alert! I’ve had far too many dealings with copycats in my hey day (they know who they are) but this one sent a shiver down my spine.

Source: Magnificent MK of Dlisted

Mimi’s gone wild!

This has got to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard after the whole Anna Nicole paternity extravaganza.

Photo credit: AFP/Getty

"Just say the lines and don’t trip over the furniture," advised Noel Coward. One of my favorites has done it again! Outsmarted the people who are supposed to be "in charge." The very funny Mariah Carey, who signs her notes to me "The Diva Next Door," is down in Tennessee, appearing in a movie about two brothers on a road trip in search of their estranged dad. Mariah learned a Southern accent for "Tennessee," the movie that includes Bernie Mac, James D’Arcy, Bill Sage, Chris Browning, Luce Rains and Gregory Peck’s grandson, Ethan Peck & more. The director is Aaron Woodley, and the producer is my good friend Lee Daniels, who did such a masterful job helping Halle Berry win the Oscar for "Monster’s Ball." This movie is being made "on  a shoestring," so Mariah was asked to fly down to location in economy class. Those who knew her just about fainted, saying, "She’ll never do that!"

Mariah had the last laugh.

She did it.

She bought out every seat in economy and flew alone in the economy cabin.

Source: ONTD

Beyonce? Swimsuit Edition? Sports Illustrated?

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE SNEJANA ONOPKA BE ON THE COVER OF THIS MAGAZINE. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE NEED TO PHOTOSHOP FAT BITCHES WHEN THEY COULD PUT SLENDER MOTHER FUCKERS INSTEAD. I GUESS THEY NEED TO SELL COPIES SO PUT A FAMOUS PERSON ON THE COVER. BAH.

Ok, fine. The people who read Sports Illustrated anyway are horny, testosterone-charged males from bumfuck America who like their women fleshy and fat.

Beyonce does look hot on that photo though.

What the hell is the world coming into?

I cannot believe the people at Wintour & Co. are sackriding the booty of this fat bitch. There are soo many people out there who are worthy of a Vogue cover. Barf!

Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender, female paratrooper? Am I reaching for the stars?

This would NEVER happen if Miranda was Editor in Chief.

[Edit: 12:30AM: Ok, ok it IS Jennifer Hudson. Not Houston. God. That's how MUCH I know about her nasty ho bag ass. Ugh!]

This atrocious young lady is the epitome of white trash!

You’re nice (and talented) girl Mandy… how could you possibly do this to yourself? You look like you’re a neo-hippy from the trailer park named Bobbie Ray. Oh and fyi, you gained soo much weight it’s not even funny. You look like like a fat pig. No, worse. Your face is sooo round and chubby and you look like a hippopotamus!!!

Darling, you have all the money and resources in the world. USE IT! Go to the gym! Get liposuction (or lipodissolve — that’s what I do)! Get a gastric bypass. Just do whatever it is you have to do in order to drop all that nasty weight.

Don’t forget to fire your stylist, too. That outfit only looks good on anorexic thin and tanned girls aka Rachel’s Zoe-mbies. And you’re not one of those.

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS WOMAN DOING AT THE GRAMMYS?

I think she looks downright scary. I bet you she’s really a drag queen. What’s with the cheapy cheapy chandelier earrings? It looks like $5 on her. Also, the necklace is too much. The only thing I like about her is the hair.

Tsk!

Does anyone know whether or not Anna Wintour went to the Grammys? With all these bitches in metallics, it would take wayyyy more than her trusty pair of Chanel sunglasses **AND** Andre Leon Talley (enough said) to protect someone’s eyes from this ludicrous and revolting display of SHINE, SHINE AND SHINE!!!!!!!!

#1 culprit? It’s no other than Ms. Vanessa Minnillo. Classic case of
"when bad things happen to good people". Her little silver sequined
number looks like a dress made out of those foldable reflecting sun shields for your car.

Photo credit: Wireimage

Click click click!

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You’ve seen it a thousand and one times and here they are again. Long, wavy hair and heavy extensions. Clean and flawless makeup. Glossy lips. 1000-megawatt smiles and bright, white teeth. Shiny, shimmery, splendid dresses in gold, silver, pearl and metallic shades. The bejeweled clutch bags and miniaudieres. The jewels, all that bling and the swarovsky. Beeeeyootiful, you ask?

I have one thing to say.
 

PREDICTABLE POLLY!

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