Paris Hilton: 45 days in jail!!!!!

This is too good to be true! Oh my god!! Oh my fucking god!! I honestly can’t believe it! Poor Paris. I love her to death but man this is harsh. Maybe she should move to the third world instead? We’re the most corrupt country in Asia — everyone from cops to the city prosecutors to judges to politicians can be bribed!

Source: Reuters

I hope Paris learns her lesson. I mean really, when you think about it, she’s got all the mucho manola $$$ in the world… hollywood celebs should have their own drivers etc.

Amy Winehouse and her legs

With all that food on her hand, I vote for drug abuse and bulimia. Who is Amy Winehouse anyway and why is she sparking anorexia rumours all over the place? I like her legs. I think they look fabulous. Don’t believe what the fat sycophants at the newspapers whenever they say about those legs being "dangerously thin". Amy should do something about that horrid hair. Now that’s gross. Really gross.

Source

Obsession du Jour: MIKA

I thought I’d be better off not joining the Mika bandwagon but I can’t hide it anymore!!!!! I watched a few YouTube videos and I’m sold!!! I bought his latest album, Life in Cartoon Motion for US$9.99 online or 99 cents per song. I know y’all can dowload free mp3s but let’s support this guy because he needs it. He’s a really TALENTED singer. His music is inspiring and I love all of his songs! Don’t be a selfish pratt; let’s make the guy filthy rich because he deserves it. I FUCKING love, love, LOVE Mika!

Sucking too hard on your lollipop or love’s gonna get you down. I try to be like Grace Kelly… but her looks were too sad. So I try a little Freddie… I’ve gone identity mad! This is my interpretation. And don’t… don’t blitz it.

I love MIKA!

Edit: PS. There’s a song for fatties like you and me called "BIG GIRL (YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL)". Get yourself to the butterfly lounge, find yourself a big lady. Big boy come on around, and there be gonna do baby!!! I love it!

Nicole Richie for Pantene (Mad TV)

Ir’s been quite awhile since y’all had a Nicole sighting on my blog. I love her!!! Here’s a super old vid of her back when she was morbidly obese. You gotta hand it out to her though — she’s sooo FUNNY!!

I died. DIED DIED DIED when I saw this. Hilarious!!!

Naomi Campbell: Free at last… and fuck you bitches!

Supermodel Naomi Campbell after finishing her final day of community service in New York.

British supermodel Naomi Campbell has been released from a garbage truck garage after completing five days of community service for assaulting her maid.

Campbell sauntered out of the Department of Sanitation facility in Manhattan, making her exit seconds after a garbage truck rolled through the area.

The pavement might as well have been a catwalk: She strutted through in a bare-shouldered, ankle-length shimmering gown and stiletto sandals, then stepped into her silver Rolls Royce and sped away as neighbourhood residents and paparazzi watched.

Watch her work it. She’s perfect!

Source: AP/SMH

What, what, in the butt!

Oh my god. I died. Died, died, died, died died. I died when I saw this video. This has got to be the most gayest song I’ve heard in my entire life. I love it. I FUCKING LOVE IT! IT’S FABULOUS!!! I am soo gonna pirate a copy of this track and upload it to my iPod. I need this to mince the streets of the third world!

Sing after me: You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt. You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt. You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt. You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt. Let’s do it in the butt. Oh-kay!

NAOMI CAMPBELL: THE MOST FABULOUS JANITRESS IN THE WORLD

ONLY IN AMERICA, MY FRIENDS, ONLY IN AMERICA!!! Anyway, I bet home girl Naomi will mop the floors, janitress uniform on, with a CHINCHILLA STOLE in tow, just the way we like it!

NEW YORK (Reuters) – British beauty Naomi Campbell will swap her catwalk outfits for a broom, gloves and safety vest when she begins mopping floors at New York’s Sanitation Department on March 19, a court official confirmed on Tuesday.

But Campbell, who was sentenced to community service as punishment for throwing her mobile phone at her housekeeper, will serve her five-day sentence indoors. Campbell, 36, has been accused by at least three employees of hitting or otherwise assaulting them. She has blamed her temper on lingering resentment toward her father for abandoning her as a child.

Source: Yahoo/Reuters/Nielsen

2007 Academy Awards: Worst-Dressed

Kirsten Dunst, Jennifer Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel, Zhang Ziyi.

Crazy I tell you, crazy!

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2007 Academy Awards: Reese Witherspoon

This woman is on a roll! She totally rocked the Golden Globes, followed by a stint at the SAG awards and now this. Reese is fucking hot, hot, hot!  I have a soft spot for clothes with "graduating" colors (remember that Dior Haute Couture piece I wanted) and she totally reached another blockbuster red-carpet level with her Olivier Theyskens for Nina Ricci dress.

Reese Witherspoon is DEFINITELY on my Best Dressed List. Gorgeous. GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GORGEOUS!

2007 Academy Awards: Kate Winslet

Kate Winslet in Valentino. She does look good but a little boring. I won’t give the Predictable Polly award to her though. Her Valentino dress looks great and the colour suits her. She definitely represents understated elegance.

Handbag is vile. Totally ruined the look. She should’ve gone for the Celestina mother-of-pearl clutch that I wanted.