Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) at the 2008 Academy Awards
WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT, MY DEAR FRIEND, IS THE OFFICIAL END OF VALENTINO’S ERA. SHAME ON YOU MILEY CIRUS, SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh no she didn’t. The venerable Nan Kempner must be rolling in her grave as I’m typing this. Ultra-exclusive and ultra-discreet secret haute couture club members around the world are probably popping xanax and clonazepam because of this Valentino disaster.
I know it’s VERY wrong to hate (sorry guys) on a 15-year old girl but fucking hell. Congratulations, Miley Cirus AKA HANNAH MONTANA for single-handedly murdering one of Valentino’s last haute couture gowns for EVERYBODY. Ruined, I tell you, ruined!
Is that the foul smell of haute couture order cancellations littering the air? Click click click for more evidence of this monstrosity.
Fuck me with a fruitcake. I’m going through over 400 blogs right now using my blog reader and found this via Perez:
"… is escorted by a friend out of London’s Nobu Berkely restaurant…"
HELLO! Julien MacDonald is a totally important British fashion designer. I have no words. This is unbelievable. Julien MacDonald are you out of your mind??? What’s next, Miuccia Prada and Jason Biggs? Marc Jacobs and Bryanboy? Hedi Slimane and Stifler’s mom?
Say hello to the newest member of the celebrity DUI club. I really don’t understand why these bitches don’t have drivers. Why oh why oh why oh why can’t they be like the Olsen Twins? Or Naomi Campbell? Or Kate Moss? Hello! Driving is so pedestrian, if you know what I mean. To be quite honest, I would rather stay at the back of the car instead of driving!
"TMZ has confirmed that Mischa Barton has been arrested for DUI,
possession of illegal narcotics and driving without a valid license."
Hilarious. Can’t wait to see what Mischa Barton’s mugshot looks like. (Update – 4:08AM: I have the mugshot!! Will keep you posted in a bit.) Time to hook my fat ass on the webcam again. This is SO gonna be good. Just for your reference…
Holy statutory pregnancy batman! I’m sorry. I can’t resist. I know I have a Britney ban on my site but that doesn’t mean I can’t blog about her 16-year old sister, Jamie Lynn Spears. Allow me to indulge and interrupt our usual faggotry to report what I read before I went to bed last night.
YES MY MINIONS, JAMIE LYNN SPEARS, 16 years old, is KNOCKED UP!
Girl, RIP to your hymen.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Let’s just hope she’s a better mother than Britney.
But who am I to judge? I’m **not** the one who earns US$700,000 a month! LOL
Just a reminder: PRACTICE SAFE SEX AND STAY CELIBATE Y’ALL! ENOUGH BAREBACKIN FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!
PS. Lily Allen is also pregnant. WHY IS EVERYONE PREGNANT THESE DAYS? I HAVEN’T HAD SEX IN 7 MONTHS, I’m 25 YEARS OLD AND I WANT TO GET KNOCKED UP TOO!!!!
I just finished downloading the latest episode of Ugly Betty (A Nice Day for a Posh Wedding) on iTunes (gotta love the season pass; the free online thing only works for US residents) and oh my god, I want a hairy fat boyfriend!!! I want one NOW!!!!! I’m gonna be one of those chubby-chasing gaysians who don’t know any better. Fatty Patty Boom Boom for the mother fucking win!
Marc: Amanda, no jokes. I’m freaking out! I introduced him to everyone as my boyfriend and I have no idea what’s gonna walk through that door. Amanda: Sweetie, relax. he can’t fit through those doors. *cue: I beeeeliiiive in mirahhh-kahhllssss* Marc: Woahhhhhhhhhhh Amanda: Transfatty!!!! More than what meets the eye.
The look on Marc’s face is priceless when he saw his boyfriend transform from this…
OK. I have to admit this has got to be one of my favourite Ugly Betty episodes ever. Amanda’s lines were pure gold and she really nailed it. Boy, we could all learn a lesson or two from her. Click click click!
Woah. They finally went public with their little thing called L-O-V-E. Mushy mushy mush mush extravaganza!
The $64 million question is: when am I gonna find my own subway love?
Fuck that shit. I’m giving them a maximum of 3 months until the Australian chick gets bored with her. Subway? Doesn’t exist in the third world! You can have your public transport love cake and eat it, thanks very much. LOLers!
Oh so now he’s also invading the fashion, too? Does Cecilia Dean know about this?
I am *so* jealous much!!!!! V Magazine better put me on the cover or else I’m officially turning my back against the magazine I loved since I was 13 and cancel my Visionaire orders. Emmanuelle Alt, please adopt me under your wing. NOW! I’ll bring my favorite leather jacket, striped tee, skinny jeans and my Marc Jacobs gladiator boots.
Just kidding. Do you really think Emmanuelle Alt will acknowledge my fat ass? That woman is so chic I bet she only likes chic people.
Excuse me while I throw up. Happy All Souls Day, everyone!