Holy statutory pregnancy batman! I’m sorry. I can’t resist. I know I have a Britney ban on my site but that doesn’t mean I can’t blog about her 16-year old sister, Jamie Lynn Spears. Allow me to indulge and interrupt our usual faggotry to report what I read before I went to bed last night.
YES MY MINIONS, JAMIE LYNN SPEARS, 16 years old, is KNOCKED UP!
Girl, RIP to your hymen.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Let’s just hope she’s a better mother than Britney.
But who am I to judge? I’m **not** the one who earns US$700,000 a month! LOL
Just a reminder: PRACTICE SAFE SEX AND STAY CELIBATE Y’ALL! ENOUGH BAREBACKIN FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!
PS. Lily Allen is also pregnant. WHY IS EVERYONE PREGNANT THESE DAYS? I HAVEN’T HAD SEX IN 7 MONTHS, I’m 25 YEARS OLD AND I WANT TO GET KNOCKED UP TOO!!!!
I just finished downloading the latest episode of Ugly Betty (A Nice Day for a Posh Wedding) on iTunes (gotta love the season pass; the free online thing only works for US residents) and oh my god, I want a hairy fat boyfriend!!! I want one NOW!!!!! I’m gonna be one of those chubby-chasing gaysians who don’t know any better. Fatty Patty Boom Boom for the mother fucking win!
Marc: Amanda, no jokes. I’m freaking out! I introduced him to everyone as my boyfriend and I have no idea what’s gonna walk through that door. Amanda: Sweetie, relax. he can’t fit through those doors. *cue: I beeeeliiiive in mirahhh-kahhllssss* Marc: Woahhhhhhhhhhh Amanda: Transfatty!!!! More than what meets the eye.
The look on Marc’s face is priceless when he saw his boyfriend transform from this…
OK. I have to admit this has got to be one of my favourite Ugly Betty episodes ever. Amanda’s lines were pure gold and she really nailed it. Boy, we could all learn a lesson or two from her. Click click click!
Woah. They finally went public with their little thing called L-O-V-E. Mushy mushy mush mush extravaganza!
The $64 million question is: when am I gonna find my own subway love?
Fuck that shit. I’m giving them a maximum of 3 months until the Australian chick gets bored with her. Subway? Doesn’t exist in the third world! You can have your public transport love cake and eat it, thanks very much. LOLers!
Oh so now he’s also invading the fashion, too? Does Cecilia Dean know about this?
I am *so* jealous much!!!!! V Magazine better put me on the cover or else I’m officially turning my back against the magazine I loved since I was 13 and cancel my Visionaire orders. Emmanuelle Alt, please adopt me under your wing. NOW! I’ll bring my favorite leather jacket, striped tee, skinny jeans and my Marc Jacobs gladiator boots.
Just kidding. Do you really think Emmanuelle Alt will acknowledge my fat ass? That woman is so chic I bet she only likes chic people.
Excuse me while I throw up. Happy All Souls Day, everyone!
This is why I don’t watch mainstream third world TV. It’s one thing for fugly entertainers to sing other artists’ songs (copyright and all) and get paid for it…. it’s another to copy a concept altogether. In this case, bitches on TV copied the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, fake SEXY lights, fake cheap-ass fat midget angels with hideous hologram wings and a fake Justin Timberlake. Y’all should be stoned to death for putting crap like this on television.
OMG PEREZ MY DARLING YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS VIDEO!!!! I FOUND YOUR FAMILY!!!!BEARFORCE1 IS THE NEW HOTNESS!!!
Mauricio: we should be fat Mauricio: I’m tired of being anorexic Bryanboy: omg me too! Mauricio: i’m going to grow fat and be a bear and drive around in a hummer Bryanboy: and be hairy Mauricio: i’m already hairy. but it’s like i’m not happy Mauricio: i lose a size and i’m still not happy. i guess fat people are happier Bryanboy: then get fat and just let yourself go. i’m letting myself go. Mauricio: the fats want to be thin, the thin wants to be thinner. nobody is ever gonna be happy so i might as well just go buy a caftan Bryanboy: HAHAHA. that is so true. being fat is a sign of happiness… too much happiness leads to depression and too much fat makes you even more depressed so you eat more. Mauricio: you know being fat was a status symbol? like centuries ago Bryanboy: yep, i know that. like women in maldives or malawi or mali or mal whatever Mauricio: we should just grow fat Bryanboy: i’m already fat Mauricio: and you know what? galliano still has to make the dress fit us Bryanboy: who makes clothes for fat people anyway? lane bryan? lane bryant? i forgot. where does velvet d’amour shop? Mauricio: velvet d’amour doesn’t shop. she wears sheets because she’s poor Bryanboy: OMG i died hahahaha you’re so nasty Mauricio: and bryan? Bryanboy: what? Mauricio: don’t you LOVE food? Bryanboy: fuck you.
I’m sorry but I couldn’t resist. Zac Efron has got to be on my desktop at least over the next few days. The funny thing is that I don’t even like him THAT much — hello, god forbid I get busted for pedophilia — how old is Zac Efron anyway? 12?. I’m dunzo with twinks, I’M TELLING YOU, DONE DONE DUNZO, but there’s just something (strangely) attractive with that child.