Bryanboy.com - Fashion Blogger
9:13 pm

Nick Patera

22/12/2007, Celebrity Gossip

Nick Patera

I know my voice sounds like nails carving a chalk board and I couldn’t sing to save my life but listen to Nick Patera.

OMG.

IS THAT A MAN????  Sorry but I can’t stop laughing. I have images of HIM behind those 1-900 phone sex chat lines with guys jacking off thinking they’re speaking to a girl.

4:25 pm

Jamie Lynn Spears is Pregnant!

19/12/2007, Celebrity Gossip

NEWS OF THE YEAR

Holy statutory pregnancy batman! I’m sorry. I can’t resist. I know I have a Britney ban on my site but that doesn’t mean I can’t blog about her 16-year old sister, Jamie Lynn Spears. Allow me to indulge and interrupt our usual faggotry to report what I read before I went to bed last night.

YES MY MINIONS, JAMIE LYNN SPEARS, 16 years old, is KNOCKED UP!

Jamie Lynn Spears

Girl, RIP to your hymen.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Let’s just hope she’s a better mother than Britney.

But who am I to judge? I’m **not** the one who earns US$700,000 a month! LOL

Just a reminder: PRACTICE SAFE SEX AND STAY CELIBATE Y’ALL! ENOUGH BAREBACKIN FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!

PS. Lily Allen is also pregnant. WHY IS EVERYONE PREGNANT THESE DAYS? I HAVEN’T HAD SEX IN 7 MONTHS, I’m 25 YEARS OLD AND I WANT TO GET KNOCKED UP TOO!!!!

1:42 am

Heath Ledger

15/11/2007, Celebrity Gossip

Heath Ledger

I cannot believe I used to have a MAYYYJAHHH crush on this guy. Not anymore! STAY AWAY FROM CRYSTAL METH AND BAREBACK SEX!!!

This is him now:

Heath Ledger balding

This is Heath Ledger back then:

Heath Ledger

Fill in the blank. "That’s what happens when the _____ finally kicks in."

3:12 am

Ugly Betty Season 2 – A Nice Day for a Posh Wedding

11/11/2007, Celebrity Gossip

OH MY GOD I WANT AN AVERAGE FAT BOYFRIEND!

BEST UGLY BETTY EPISODE SO FAR!!!

I just finished downloading the latest episode of Ugly Betty (A Nice Day for a Posh Wedding) on iTunes (gotta love the season pass; the free online thing only works for US residents) and oh my god, I want a hairy fat boyfriend!!! I want one NOW!!!!! I’m gonna be one of those chubby-chasing gaysians who don’t know any better.  Fatty Patty Boom Boom for the mother fucking win!


Marc:
Amanda, no jokes. I’m freaking out! I introduced him to everyone as my boyfriend and I have no idea what’s gonna walk through that door.
Amanda: Sweetie, relax. he can’t fit through those doors.
*cue: I beeeeliiiive in mirahhh-kahhllssss*
Marc: Woahhhhhhhhhhh
Amanda: Transfatty!!!! More than what meets the eye.

Amanda and Marc, Ugly Betty Season 2 - A Nice Day for a Posh Wedding

The look on Marc’s face is priceless when he saw his boyfriend transform from this…

Cliff - Marc's fat boyfriend, Ugly Betty Season 2 - A Nice Day for a Posh Wedding

OK. I have to admit this has got to be one of my favourite Ugly Betty episodes ever. Amanda’s lines were pure gold and she really nailed it. Boy, we could all learn a lesson or two from her. Click click click!

CONTINUE READING

8:18 am

Patrick Moberg and Camille Hayton K-I-S-S-I-N-G

10/11/2007, Celebrity Gossip

Patrick Moberg and Camille Hayton K-I-S-S-I-N-G

I am SO jealous much!!!!!!!!

Patrick Moberg and Camille Hayton Good Morning America

Woah. They finally went public with their little thing called L-O-V-E. Mushy mushy mush mush extravaganza!

The $64 million question is: when am I gonna find my own subway love?

Fuck that shit. I’m giving them a maximum of 3 months until the Australian chick gets bored with her.  Subway? Doesn’t exist in the third world! You can have your public transport love cake and eat it, thanks very much. LOLers!

6:27 pm

Chris Crocker at V Magazine Halloween Party

02/11/2007, Celebrity Gossip

Chris Crocker at V Magazine Halloween Party

Oh so now he’s also invading the fashion, too? Does Cecilia Dean know about this?

Chris Crocker, V Magazine 2007 Halloween Party

I am *so* jealous much!!!!! V Magazine better put me on the cover or else I’m officially turning my back against the magazine I loved since I was 13 and cancel my Visionaire orders. Emmanuelle Alt, please adopt me under your wing. NOW! I’ll bring my favorite leather jacket, striped tee, skinny jeans and my Marc Jacobs gladiator boots.

Just kidding. Do you really think Emmanuelle Alt will acknowledge my fat ass? That woman is so chic I bet she only likes chic people.

Excuse me while I throw up. Happy All Souls Day, everyone!

6:08 am

Zac Efron. Again.

22/10/2007, Celebrity Gossip

Zac Efron. Again.

Is it just me or is there anyone else on the face of the planet getting that "why do I feel like a dirty rotten cradle snatcher every time I see his photo" vibe?

Zac Efron

Note to self: stop reading A Socialite’s Life unless they enforce a Zac Efron ban. NO MORE TWINKS! UGH!!!!!!!!!!

4:04 am

EEEEW!!! THIRD WORLD TV vs Victoria’s Secret 2006

31/08/2007, Celebrity Gossip

EEEEW!!! THIRD WORLD TV vs Victoria’s Secret 2006

This is why I don’t watch mainstream third world TV. It’s one thing for fugly entertainers to sing other artists’ songs (copyright and all) and get paid for it…. it’s another to copy a concept altogether. In this case, bitches on TV copied the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, fake SEXY lights, fake cheap-ass fat midget angels with hideous hologram wings and a fake Justin Timberlake. Y’all should be stoned to death for putting crap like this on television.

NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!! This is how you do it….


Sponsored by:Fashion Blog.

Repeat after me: I’m bringing sexy back. THEM OTHER BOYS DON’T KNOW HOW TO ACT. COME LET ME MAKE UP FOR THE THINGS YOU LACK.

PS. Tang inang yan, let me channel Malu Fernandez for a second… matapobre na kung matapobre but that act is really kacheapan! Masa to the max!

5:56 am

Protected: What happened to Renee Zellweger?

28/08/2007, Celebrity Gossip

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

7:02 am

Introducing… BEARFORCE1

15/08/2007, Celebrity Gossip

Introducing… BEARFORCE1 FROM HOLLAND!!!!!!

OMG PEREZ MY DARLING YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS VIDEO!!!! I FOUND YOUR FAMILY!!!!BEARFORCE1 IS THE NEW HOTNESS!!!


NothingMauricio: we should be fat
Mauricio: I’m tired of being anorexic
Bryanboy: omg me too!
Mauricio: i’m going to grow fat and be a bear and drive around in a hummer
Bryanboy: and be hairy
Mauricio: i’m already hairy. but it’s like i’m not happy
Mauricio: i lose a size and i’m still not happy. i guess fat people are happier
Bryanboy: then get fat and just let yourself go. i’m letting myself go.
Mauricio: the fats want to be thin, the thin wants to be thinner. nobody is ever gonna be happy so i might as well just go buy a caftan
Bryanboy: HAHAHA. that is so true. being fat is a sign of happiness… too much happiness leads to depression and too much fat makes you even more depressed so you eat more.
Mauricio: you know being fat was a status symbol? like centuries ago
Bryanboy: yep, i know that. like women in maldives or malawi or mali or mal whatever
Mauricio: we should just grow fat
Bryanboy: i’m already fat
Mauricio: and you know what? galliano still has to make the dress fit us
Bryanboy: who makes clothes for fat people anyway? lane bryan? lane bryant? i forgot. where does velvet d’amour shop?
Mauricio: velvet d’amour doesn’t shop. she wears sheets because she’s poor
Bryanboy: OMG i died hahahaha you’re so nasty
Mauricio: and bryan?
Bryanboy: what?
Mauricio: don’t you LOVE food?
Bryanboy: fuck you.


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