1 Minute Makeover

His name is Pete and he's from the UK. You know them Brits, part of their charm is that they're the scruffy and rough distant cousins of the finer-featured Europeans. Lemme show you what a difference a minute of fixing can do to one's appearance.

Before

Beijing Subway

My newfound acquaintances in Beijing made me ride the subway yesterday en route to a housewarming party and boy I had fun. You know, I would like to use the subway more but walking in Beijing is such a bitch. It’s a MASSIVE city and for me, it’s so much easier if I cab it.

Each ride on the subway (you can go ANYWHERE within Beijin) costs 2 Yuan which is like oh bloody hell, thirty US cents? Dang!!!

I popped by Opposite House in Sanlitun for a quick drink and snack after a long day of shopping. Opposite House is such a beautiful 'designer' boutique hotel. I was originally planning to stay here but the price point is out of my league. Hopefully next time when I have money I'll stay here.

Gorgeous, gorgeous hotel :-)

How funny. We all buy things in the USA that are made in China and here I am in Beijing, shopping at American Apparel. I bought a few neon-coloured briefs.

Baboosh!

2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony Video

[Update: Click HERE to watch more videos]

I totally missed watching the 2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony in Beijing last night. If you haven't seen the show, here are several bits on a video that I found. It's soo magnificent and spectacular!!!! I love how they have all these drummers with lights on their drums and they collectively mimic an enormous LED display screen. Watching the countdown gave me the creeps!

Stunning. Absolutely stunning. London 2012 will never beat that.

Animal Smuggling

It’s 10:44PM here in Beijing and I’m packing my luggage to my next destination.

I bought 2 huge fur stoles, both foxes, one from Lagerfeld Gallery and one from a Chinese (unless I’m wrong) store called "White Collar".

Isn’t my new baby cute? It’s sooo huge it’s fucking gorgeous!

I strategically placed my RAZR phone there so you’ll have an idea of how big it is.

I don’t think I’ve got space on my luggage!!!!! FUCK!

What PETA doesn’t understand is the fact that if gorgeous creatures such as the one I bought aren’t turned into outfits (which, by the way, with proper care, will last for life – I’m doing them a favour), they will simply rot and turned into plant fertilizer after they die.

Look at those eyes!!! Shame they’re fuck. Sooo adorable though.

Here’s my money shot.

Ugh.

No more shots of similar nature. I’ll leave them to Helmut Newton, thank you very much. May his soul rest in peace.

Wanna know what I had for dinner?

Something that costs around US$1.80 from 7-11.

I know it looks awful but I was starving! It was delicious though.

Time-wise, room service is just as bad as going to a restaurant… I didn’t want to wait!!!

More updates later. Or tomorrow.

I love you all!

SEND ME TEXT MESSAGES YOU FOOLS! I AM SO FUCKING LONELY IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY!

+63-915-785-1492

Baboosh!

P.S. THIS MESSAGE GOES OUT TO ALL ANTI-FUR PEOPLE OUT THERE.

I WOULD RATHER BE CREMATED ALIVE WITH MY ASHES THROWN OUT ON THE SLOPES OF GSTAAD THAN WEAR SOMETHING LIKE

Don’t worry though – it’s just a personal opinion. you could wear North Face for all I care and I’ll still love you.

I’m THAT nice.

*bisous bisous*

The Great Fall of China

I finally found the cure to depression.

2 xanax pills, Badger Sleep Balm, a night’s worth of sleep, a 40+ year old man/driver (who I think should be a photographer instead because he took good pictures) and a car.

Let me tell you this: BEIJING IS FUCKING BREATHTAKING.

And I mean BREATHTAKING.

The traffic jams and the travel time to go from one place to another is WORTH IT.

I slept at around 10PM last night, got up at fuckin 4AM (then again at 7AM) and I was out of the hotel by 9.

Went straight to the Great Wall of China (Badaling) and boy oh boy, I was the most gorgeous and best-dressed person on the wall.

(Yep, that’s a Starbucks Americano right there)

As any tourist spot in the world, there were HORDES and HORDES of tourists and I know this goes without saying, they all look fucking hideous. H-I-D-E-O-U-S. Hahahahahahahaha!

(Hey, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE tourists. A TON of them (particularly the Japanese, the Americans and the Spanish… who arrived via tour bus) took pictures of me. Man, if I got a dollar every time someone asked a photograph of me on the wall I’d be FUCKING rich (and on the top 10 of the Forbes’ list) by now.

I know any sane person will walk that gigantic brick architectural wonder with a pair of sneakers but come fucking on, it’s always nice to glam it up for all those photo ops.

I want my grandchildren (my adopted spawns’ offspring) to see pictures of me up the wall and say "my fabulous grandfather looked so American Vogue".

I’m kidding.

God I love the ego boost from all the stares I got earlier. Even those white tourists (a ton of Spaniards and Americans) took pictures of me because I’m SOOOO fucking beautiful.

I even rode this cute huge animal. It’s kinda like a horse but like it has these 2 weird mounds on its back. I forgot what they’re called. I see these whenever I watch the Discovery Channel and these are like all over the place in exotic places like Egypt or like Mongolia or whatever.

Apres Great Wall, I asked my driver to bring me to the Forbidden City.

It’s ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.

(and huge)

I sashayed and powerminced its massive brick roads as if I’m a coked-up supermodel on the runway during New York Fashion Week whilst listening to my Hotel Costes 8 album on my ipod.

I’m ON A FUCKING ROLL!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I’m definitely coming back to Beijing… 36 hours is simply NOT enough. I’ll create a photo album (for more pictures) on this blog when I have the spare time.

I love you all! You know where to contact me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh!

P.S. I know I owe you a big random cheesemax. I’ll do one as soon as I get to Moscow. Love ya all!