It’s 10:44PM here in Beijing and I’m packing my luggage to my next destination.
I bought 2 huge fur stoles, both foxes, one from Lagerfeld Gallery and one from a Chinese (unless I’m wrong) store called "White Collar".
Isn’t my new baby cute? It’s sooo huge it’s fucking gorgeous!
I strategically placed my RAZR phone there so you’ll have an idea of how big it is.
I don’t think I’ve got space on my luggage!!!!! FUCK!
What PETA doesn’t understand is the fact that if gorgeous creatures such as the one I bought aren’t turned into outfits (which, by the way, with proper care, will last for life – I’m doing them a favour), they will simply rot and turned into plant fertilizer after they die.
Look at those eyes!!! Shame they’re fuck. Sooo adorable though.
Here’s my money shot.
No more shots of similar nature. I’ll leave them to Helmut Newton, thank you very much. May his soul rest in peace.
Wanna know what I had for dinner?
Something that costs around US$1.80 from 7-11.
I know it looks awful but I was starving! It was delicious though.
Time-wise, room service is just as bad as going to a restaurant… I didn’t want to wait!!!
More updates later. Or tomorrow.
I love you all!
SEND ME TEXT MESSAGES YOU FOOLS! I AM SO FUCKING LONELY IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY!
P.S. THIS MESSAGE GOES OUT TO ALL ANTI-FUR PEOPLE OUT THERE.
I WOULD RATHER BE CREMATED ALIVE WITH MY ASHES THROWN OUT ON THE SLOPES OF GSTAAD THAN WEAR SOMETHING LIKE
Don’t worry though – it’s just a personal opinion. you could wear North Face for all I care and I’ll still love you.
I’m THAT nice.
The Great Fall of China
I finally found the cure to depression.
2 xanax pills, Badger Sleep Balm, a night’s worth of sleep, a 40+ year old man/driver (who I think should be a photographer instead because he took good pictures) and a car.
Let me tell you this: BEIJING IS FUCKING BREATHTAKING.
And I mean BREATHTAKING.
The traffic jams and the travel time to go from one place to another is WORTH IT.
I slept at around 10PM last night, got up at fuckin 4AM (then again at 7AM) and I was out of the hotel by 9.
Went straight to the Great Wall of China (Badaling) and boy oh boy, I was the most gorgeous and best-dressed person on the wall.
(Yep, that’s a Starbucks Americano right there)
As any tourist spot in the world, there were HORDES and HORDES of tourists and I know this goes without saying, they all look fucking hideous. H-I-D-E-O-U-S. Hahahahahahahaha!
(Hey, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE tourists. A TON of them (particularly the Japanese, the Americans and the Spanish… who arrived via tour bus) took pictures of me. Man, if I got a dollar every time someone asked a photograph of me on the wall I’d be FUCKING rich (and on the top 10 of the Forbes’ list) by now.
I know any sane person will walk that gigantic brick architectural wonder with a pair of sneakers but come fucking on, it’s always nice to glam it up for all those photo ops.
I want my grandchildren (my adopted spawns’ offspring) to see pictures of me up the wall and say "my fabulous grandfather looked so American Vogue".
God I love the ego boost from all the stares I got earlier. Even those white tourists (a ton of Spaniards and Americans) took pictures of me because I’m SOOOO fucking beautiful.
I even rode this cute huge animal. It’s kinda like a horse but like it has these 2 weird mounds on its back. I forgot what they’re called. I see these whenever I watch the Discovery Channel and these are like all over the place in exotic places like Egypt or like Mongolia or whatever.
Apres Great Wall, I asked my driver to bring me to the Forbidden City.
It’s ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.
I sashayed and powerminced its massive brick roads as if I’m a coked-up supermodel on the runway during New York Fashion Week whilst listening to my Hotel Costes 8 album on my ipod.
I’m ON A FUCKING ROLL!
I’m definitely coming back to Beijing… 36 hours is simply NOT enough. I’ll create a photo album (for more pictures) on this blog when I have the spare time.
I love you all! You know where to contact me. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
P.S. I know I owe you a big random cheesemax. I’ll do one as soon as I get to Moscow. Love ya all!