Bryanboy.com - I'm so gay I sweat glitter!

So when I was 15...

So when I was 15...

OMG you guys, I think y'all are gonna die with what you are about to see.

Friend: Send me that picture of ____ when ____ was fat.

Me: Why?

Friend: Because.

Me: What?

Friend: I want to see pictures of what people looked like before.

Me: You're gonna post them online, aren't you? You're a mean girl!

Friend: No, I don't post horrible pictures of people online. I keep them for my satisfaction. You, on the other hand, voluntarily post ALL your photos, even pictures of your turd.

Me: I have NEVER posted pictures of my turd. That photo was from google images!

Friend: Oh, ok, I thought that was your turd.

Me: Do you really think I'd post pictures of my turd? Pissing everywhere is not very Chanel, you know.

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Anyway, so what happens when siblings play dress up and a 15-year old kid dons a Jeremy Scott bucket hat, those silly rhinestone whatever Chloe sunglasses, Tom Ford for Gucci hallucinating hippie collection men's SIZE SMALL swimming trunks (THAT WERE CLEARLY WAYY TOO BIG FOR MY then 20-inch waist)... and a big-ass vintage massive leopard print fur coat on top of it all?

Do not, under any circumstances, try this at home. You've been warned! And mothers and sisters, don't do this to your kids. They're gonna end up gay, just like meeee! I think this photo brings a whole new meaning to 'poking fun at yourself'. I'm not poking fun at myself... I'm SHAMING myself. But then again, I don't really have any shame. Shame? What's that?

Ready? Click click click!

"But... I was a cheerleader!"

"But... I'm I was a cheerleader!"

The hair. The pom poms. The shorts.

Hideous. Just hideous.

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time...

Oh dear. Look at what I found in my 'archives'.

I *honestly* can't remember how long ago this photo was taken so if you manage to guess what year it was, I'll give you a kiss on the cheek and an oreo cookie.

3 years ago...

3 years ago...

I'm just looking at some old photos and I found this. Look at all that flesh no wonder I'm getting stretch marks. Nasty!

Fatty patty boom boom! Don't even get me started with THAT top. Haha!

 

HOLY GOOD LORD YOU ARE GONNA DIE.

HOLY GOOD LORD YOU ARE GONNA DIE.

I was just talking to an ex and he sent me a few photos -- I had BEARD on one of them!!! I totally lost my mind when I got these and the first thing I said was.... THAT WAS ME??????????????????

I have one question to ask and you better give me a logical answer.

Who stole my innocence?

HI. SEE. YA. HOLD TIGHT! Click click click!

Blast from the past Mondays

Blast from the past Mondays

I know you're all GAGGING for a new pictionary primetime entry but I'm not able to take new pictures because I have soo many things on my plate today and my partner-in-crime is busy tomorrow so Wednesday is the big PP-day. By the meantime, I thought I'd share a chapter from my life archives. For those of you who are new to my website, Bryanboy Life Archives is where I share random tidbits, mishaps and misadventures from the bygone days of yesteryear -- memories that are best kept in a time capsule and only to be released and resurrected a few years later.

You know, I'm still looking for that scandalous photo of me wearing a leopard-print fur coat and some floral/acid-trip psychedelic Gucci speedo-cut swimming trunks (it was sorta kinda but not really Tara Palmer-Tompkinson moment where she wore a fur coat, swimsuit and scuba gear) but I can't... I just can't, for the life of god, find that priceless photo. Since I'm not going anywhere, let's save that entry for another time and focus on some of the other treasures I found. A lot of people asked me to share the contents of my little black book but fuck that. I've got something even MORE exciting for y'all.

Let's get down to business shall we? Click click click!

A 10 Year Old Boy's Secrets

A 10 Year Old Boy's Secrets

Now that you've seen bits and pieces of my sexual exploits from my Little Black Book, it's time for me to share what's inside one of my many, many journals back in the dark ages -- wayyyy before I started blogging. It's always nice to reminisce old memories and it's been quite awhile since I last made a Bryanboy Life Archives entry. It truly is amazing how colourful my life is. A Hollywood producer should seriously make a movie out of my life AND (*not* and/or) AND a NYC publisher should fucking give me a book deal so we can all make bajillions out of my mishaps and misadventures.

Let's move on to the juicy stuff shall we?

Inside this 1999 Louis Vuitton diary lies some of the deepest, darkest secrets of a 10 year old boy.

Ten, because I was born in 1989.

In approximately three weeks, 1989 will change to 1990.

You do the math.

Bryanboy: Lethally Blond

Bryanboy: Lethally Blond

I have an oreo cookie and a kiss on the cheek up for grabs if you manage to guess how old I am on the photo and the year it was taken. It's definitely wayyy back in the dark ages when they didn't have coloured film pictures photography cameras whatever.

But then again, this photo could've been taken somewhere in bloody Eastern Europe for all I know. I just can't remember far back! LOL.

My god. Look how chubby my cheeks were, not to mention the shiteous eyeglasses and the blond hair.

And to think, I'm actually considering getting my hair coloured.

Three cheers and snap snap reality.

THINSPIRATION

THINSPIRATION

This is tragic. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. HAHHAHA! Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk! I found these really hideous (at the same time, thinspirational) photos of me in London circa 1998. Look how ENORMOUS and MASSIVE those size 24 waist leather pants... and look at the arms! God I miss the old days when I weighed NO MORE THAN 80 POUNDS!!!!! All these faggots with wasting disease around the world are busy barebacking each other, smoking crystal meth and contracting every disease known to humanity... well bitch please, crystal meth is sooo dark ages ago and I've gone through that stage wayyyy earlier than you sad fucks! LOL

I hope this photo serve as a reminder to everyone that there was a time in my life that I was BEYOOOOOND emaciated. I know I'm fucking obese these days so please spare me from all the fattie jokes. Those size 00 hollywood bitches got nothing on me when I was a child!! Ugh!!  Good thing all I had for dinner the other day was a tablespoon of raisins. I need to get back to my old, bone-thin glory -- anyone got a bag of tina out there?

Mark my words asssholes...2007 = liposuction.

ANA MIA where are you? I want my membership back!

Permabloat

Permabloat

I found this mini polaroid late last night while cleaning my room. If memory serves me right, this photo was taken in a bar called "Freedom" in London, UK back in 2001. It's funny how I used to weigh around 90 pounds back then but I already have a gut the size of Canada. But those arms... those emaciated arms... 'Cin Cin' sequined tank top and jeans by Dolce & Gabbana. Those were the days... hahahaha! I can't, for the life of god, remember, who made the brown pony skin bag though...

Coming up... Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax.

I love you all! Email bryanboy@gmail.comor SMS +63.915.785.1492 and tell me you love me.

PS. Discuss this blog post on my Online Discussion Forum.

EXPLOSIVE! Bryanboy at his rawest: The picture that will CHANGE the way you view Bryanboy

Bryanboy At His Rawest

People seem to have this impression that everything about me is fabulous. I don't blame them because that's the image I project: my life is fabulous, I love beautiful things, I drool over beautiful people, I go to nice places etc. Flaunt it cause you have it. Show it while you have it. Work it like you own it. Fake it till you make it. I dress like a princess but in reality I'm just a pauper.

In the past few months I've received no less than a dozen emails from people (shit, I dropped my cigarette on my crotch as I typed that sentence) with questions like "what does Bryanboy wear when he's at home?" etc. I also get compliments from many, many people complimenting me about my skin, which I don't really understand cause I have terrible, terrible awful skin. Hah!

It's Monday afternoon and I just got up less than an hour ago. I'm dead bored so I figured, why not surprise you lot with what the OTHER SIDE of BRYAN looks like.

Take note of all that excess flesh... now you know why I'm promoting my watermelon diet... oh and all that stubble on my face. You probably don't see it now but you will, later.

Anyway, all I wear at home is a plain ol tee and boxers. It's all about comfort clothes here. No juicy couture sweats whatsoever. Sometimes I'd even roam around the house wearing nothing but some y-front briefs on.

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Now, If the image above isn't shocking enough, the photo you are about to see will HAUNT you for the rest of your life and change the way you think of me -- Le Superstar Fabuleux my fuckin asshole.

Hello Superstar!, Dazzling Daphne, Ageing Gracefully

Hello Superstar!

"When i woke up this photographer was humping me. It's like being a nympho... not nymhomaniac. What do you call those dead people? I can't remember. Huh? Necrophilia? I really was furious... I couldnt move!

Whatever it was in that drink... I was like a dead body... so it was like he was screwing a corpse! More twisted!

Wow... I never went back there."
-- Edie Sedgwick

Click HERE to watch a snippet from Ciao! Manhattan.

My newfound obsession with Edie Sedgwick, one of Andy Warhol's original superstars back in the 1960s, is starting to become unhealthy.

I must have spent no less than 20 hours in the past few days reading (and watching) everything there is to need about her.

I'm absolutely fascinated with her life; she's the classic poor little rich girl. Her fame was manufactured and she celebated her wealth on her sleeve, wearing all these fabulous clothes and jewelry until she was penniless. She also went from top to rock bottom in such a fast time... eventually dying at age 28 from a drug overdose.

I hope it's NOT gonna be my story. I have to admit that for some strange reason, all roads lead to that direction.

Minus the drugs, the wealth and the self-destruct button... haha!

I found another video on You Tube featuring a better video of her with Velvet Underground singing "After Hours" in the background.

Click here to watch that video.

I LOOOOOOOOVE EDIE SEDGWICK.

I love her sooo much that I even sang and recorded something for you guys...

My singing talent can seriously give that William Hung a run for his money - I CAN'T SING!!!!!!!!

"If you close the door, the night could last forever. Keep the sunshine out and say hello to never. All the people are dancing and they're havin such fun... I wish it could happen to me. But if you close the door, I'd never have to see the day again."

Click here to download the sound clip I made.

DON'T LISTEN TO IT UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN EDIE'S VIDEO, OTHERWISE YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE I'M COMING FROM.

Isn't my drag queen voice lovely? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dazzling Daphne

I went to the TV station early on Sunday eveing for another live interview. This time it's for a lifestyle-related show called "ANC Life" hosted by Daphne Osena-Paez.

One of my very good friends took pics of her tv screen. Thanks babe. I STILL OWE YOU DINNER (OR LUNCH) FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!

If you're not from the land of the brown, l'exotique and the natives (aka Las Islas Filipinas), the picture below will give you an idea on what she looks like. I stole it from Herword because my maid left my camera batteries in the car. I wanted to kick my ass for NOT being able to camwhore. UGH!

Daphne and her assistant took a couple of pictures so hopefully I'll get it soon.

YOU HAVE TO SEE HOW GORGEOUS SHE IS!

Her presence swallowed me alive as soon as I arrived at the dressing room - the fantastic little black number, those yummy pearls, the gorgeous shoes, the Louis Vuitton Speedy, the Cartier Santos and of course, the HAIR!!!!! She was effortless chic at its finest; I was GOBSMACKED.

What are the chances of me being...

EFFORTLESS?

CHIC?

Probably slim to none. Perhaps effortless cheap.

I'm already having rashes with the thought of me being associated with those two words.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

On the set, I couldn't help but stare at Daphne's legs. THEY ARE SOOOO SKINNY AND LONG!!!!

No, I'm not a lesbian.

Her legs are just sooooo long and skinny and nice and her shoes are gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!

Why aren't my legs like that?

SHIT.

I'M A MAN!

I keep on forgetting that.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

Anyway, I think I did well on my interview based on the positive feedback I got from some of my very good friends (I'm doubting myself for not doubting their honesty - do i make any sense?) and readers who happened to saw the interview.

I wish there are classes or courses that I can take to express myself articulately and eloquently in public. Getting tongue-tied all the time and not being able convert your thoughts into spoken words is sooo not funny.

Nevertheless.... I think I did good!!! YAY!

Practice makes perfect... 2 live TV interviews in 2 weeks... what a great learning experience!

Ageing Gracefully

I thought I'd take the yellow brick road once again down memory lane and look how I've changed over the years.

Judging from some of my photos from the past, the only thing that I can say at this point is....

MAN, I AM THE EPITOME OF THE PHRASE "AGEING GRACEFULLY".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The camera doesn't lie.

It's official: I get prettier the farther I run away from my birth certificate.

Heck, if this is an indicator of what my future will be, I can't wait to turn 75 and wear Oscar De La Renta.

Think how hideous I looked back then, how fabulous I am now and how gorgeous I'll be tomorrow.

Priceless.

I'll post some of my recent pictures so you won't get shocked by what you are about to see.

Ready?

SET!

GO!

These pictures were taken in Amanpulo Island during Gisele's hey day. All throughout that holiday, I was deluded into thinking my name is Gisele Bundchen with the help of my size 24 Earl Jeans and all.

Man, I just remembered a funny story about the Dolce & Gabbana swarovski belt (the one that launched a million knock-offs) in that picture.

A couple of months after that photo was taken, I flew to London for a vacation.

I went clubbing on my last night in Londres and I arrived at the airport late and completely off my tits.

I dropped the belt to the floor (no closures, they were held with a velcro strap) while boarding the plane.

I was sooo drunk at that time. The only thing I wanted to do is to go to my seat and sleep.

After the captain did his speech, he went on about some lady who might have dropped a belt...

A few seconds later, he said something like:

"LAST CALL. IF NOBODY CLAIMS THIS VERY EXPENSIVE LOOKING **WOMEN'S** WITH HEAPS OF CRYSTALS, I'M GIVING IT TO MY WIFE"

Everyone on the plane laughed.

I looked at my waist and realized holy shit, my belt's gone missing!

You should have seen the look on my face as I gulped my gin tonic.

I didn't ask for my belt. I was soo embarassed to ask for it cause the captain said it's a women's belt.

That's when I realized, shit, I have pride!

Honestly speaking, these days, give me designer goods anytime and I'll throw my pride down the river.

Moving on...

One of the benefits of being skinny? A fantastic jawline.

Sadly, that jawline is GONE. GONE, GONE, GONE, GONE, GONE.

This picture is just plain ugly. I'm at a loss on what to say.

This is me having a Zoolander moment in Bali, Indonesia 5 years ago. This photo was taken at friggin 9 in the morning on my way to Ubud Market. Oh the memories.... I was too drunk on the photo.

THIS IS THINSPIRATION. HOW I MISS THOSE DAYS WHEN I WAS SKELETAL.

IT'S A SHAME MY MEMBERSHIP EXPIRED WITH ANOREXICS ANONYMOUS. THE MOTHER FUCKERS AT ANA EXPELLED ME AS SOON AS HIT 80 POUNDS.

Yep, even my US$7,000 Gucci python pants, which is size 38, was fuckin BAGGY on me. THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN 6 FUCKIN YEARS AGO!!!!

I got a ton of mileage from those pants.

I wore them fucking everywhere.

Even to Trafalgar Square, just to be covered with pigeon shit.

I guess I used to smile lots back when I was younger.

This photo was taken about 7 or 8 years ago at a bus stop in Reykjavik.

ENOUGH OF THIS FUGLY NONSENSE.

ERASE ERASE ERASE ERASE ERASE.

PURGE, PURGE, PURGE, PURGE, PURGE.

The ugly duckling turned into a swan indeed.

Touch my bum... this is life!

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Bintulu, Sarawak Malaysia, Bod, Norway, Stillwater, OK, Quincy, MA, Zegvelderbroek, Netherlands, Binghamton, NY, Huddinge, Sweden, San Francisco, CA, Elsternwick, VIC Australia, Richmond Hill, ONT Canada, Neset, Norway, Madison, WI, De Valk, Netherlands, London, ONT Canada and of course, all the gorgeous boys and girls in Segeltorp, Sweden. I LOVE YOU ALL. I REALLY DO!

#2 - Flak makes the world go round.

Missy from Miami, FL emailed me and asked what kind of flak I get on a day-to-day basis. Here's a random sampling.

FYI, This is PETE BURNS. I think he's actually better-looking than me. Non?

#3 - I almost got a cardiac arrest when I opened my inbox earlier looking at this, courtesy of KS from Malaysia who recently went to Hong Kong. This is probably the BIGGEST Louis Vuitton bag in the world.

LONG LIVE CAPITALISM AND CONSPICUOUS CONSUMPTION.

I **LOVE*** THE BRYANBOY POSE.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

#4 - BRYANBOY LOVES THAOVU and the entire Vietnamese community in the United States of George W. Bush.

As always, you know where to send pictures of your unconditional love. Email me you lazy bitches: bryanboy@gmail.com.

Whew!

I think that's it for now.

You all know where to contact me. SMS +63-915-785-1492 if you're gorgeous, generous and well-hung like a stallion.

Baboosh!

The Stuff Brown Bitches Are Made of, Hannah Matronic Let's Get Married!, The Blossoming of Bryanboy

The Stuff Brown Bitches Are Made Of

Correct me if I'm wrong: American designer Michael Kors once said "anyone/everyone looks good with a tan." I think I read it from an old copy of In Style whilst having my pedicure at my local nail salon.

FYI, a good tan can hide some of your icky superficial flaws - scars, blemishes, zits, stretch marks, uneven color, etc. I'm sure there are a shitload of people like me who weren't graced with flawless skin so the next best thing to a skin transplant is getting a tan.

I'm currently using Lancaster for body & face and Nars bronzer (Laguna). Chanel has this old lip gloss (color 64) that will compliment your new look.

Lancaster must have changed their formulation because I looked friggin orange the last time I used it.

I must say they're good. It's like adobe photoshop in a can!!!!

Man, I really look different on this photo. I can't for the life of god decide whether I look older or younger.

I like my new color though.

Give me a week or two to bask in this self-tan obsession. Thank god it will be gone by the time I get sick of it.

Try it today! Get a fucking tan and turn yourself into a gorgeous islander native such as moi. Embrace your inner exotic and unleash the power of the color brown. Sephora carries a ton of self-tanning products, bronzers, etc.

I went to a nice little party yesterday at a friend's house because one of her friends is going back to San Francisco where he lives. His Name is Wilson and yes, he's the only guy in the world who SERVES caviar whenever he throws sex orgies. I'm definitely gonna miss him. Here's Wilson holding Tim's goodbye present.

Tim (the blonde Chinese guy) gave the gayest (and cutest) gift in the world!

Hannah Matronic Let's Get Married!

Hannah Matronic you cum-guzzling slut, let's get married. Soon.

Rescue me you fucking bitch.

I don't care if you marry me for my money... I'll even feed you with all the Chanel that you want until you shit long, brown turds with swarovski-encrusted interlocking CCs.

I joined this personals site yesterday called Guys4Men out of sheer boredom and yes, one of my friends were right - this site is good for entertainment value..

or shock, awe and horreur.

This 20-year old guy sent me a message out of nowhere asking me whether or not I want to suck his dick, right then and there.

Here's what I sent back.

I think I scared him off. I didn't get a reply afterwards.

Don't get me wrong. I would've given the poor kid a mind-blowing head job if:

a) he's got US$20,000,000 in liquid assets
or
b) he buys me dinner at L'Opera (one of my favourite restuarants in Manila).

The Blossoming of Bryanboy

One of my friends at the party mentioned this Filipino movie called The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros. I read about it somewhere online and it's only today that I searched for it.

Google came up with this independent review from RottemTomatoes.com.

Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros (The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros) is a wonderful wonderful film that explores the purity of a 12 year old homosexual boy in the midst of the grittiness, corruption, and dirtiness of the slums of Metro Manila. Written by Michiko Yamamoto, who also scribed the charming award-winning tear-jerker Magnifico, Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros feels and sounds more mature without sacrificing Yamamoto's talent for putting into words and scenes the beauty of innocence and childhood.

Aureaus Solito, working with the little budget granted to him doesn't lose sight of artistry and integrity of storytelling. He doesn't delve into the politics of homosexuality, nor does he get tempted to exoticize or eroticize the blossoming of an openly homosexual teenager. He gears his camera towards the inherent kindness and purity of the soul of Maximo. He establishes little flickers of humanity and kindness in the faces of the petty criminals who Maximo regards as family. Maximo's father, the kingpin of the slums, the master cellphone snatcher is a refreshing character. While most other gay-themed films would portray the fathers as stern and homophobic, here, the father is loving, accepting, and entirely lovable despite his associations with criminal activity. Maximo's two elder brothers are also cellphone snatchers, yet despite their outwardly machismo, they take care of Maximo and accept him for what he really is. When Victor, a clean and honest cop, arrives in the slums, Maximo gets attracted and falls for the policeman. Their relationship provides the dilemma of the film wherein Maximo is trapped in the middle of his family's illegal source of income and his admiration for the stalwart cop. The film is entirely shot digitally which resulted in muted colors and pale blacks. Cinematographer Nap Jamir however makes most of the meager capabilities of digital filmmaking and intelligently and creatively creates shots that add much needed grittiness and intimacy to the film. Filipino rock legend Pepe Smith provides for a beautifully apt musical score mostly composed of guitar strummings.

That picture is sooo fucking hilarious I just had to dig up an old picture back when I was a child. I came up with this. I think I must have been 12 or 13 when this photo was taken... in Boracay Island.

Here's another not-so-recent photo of myself. The Dior top with the zip on the side is a giveaway as to what year this picture was taken.

I'm telling you... it's amazing what MONEY can do to a child these days.

AGEING is a word that should be abolished from the dictionary. However, it's moments like this that makes me glad I aged like fine fuckin wine.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from London, UK, Frederiksberg, Denmark, Nagano, Japan, Pekin, IL, Istanbul, Turkey, Livonia, MI, Dulles, VA, Jordaan, Holland, Race Course Village, Singapore, York Mills, ONT Canada, Manama, Bahrain, Charlotte, NC, Warsaw, Poland, Garrel, Germany, Quinta Da Verdelha, Portugal, Tours, France, Endicott, NY, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and of course, all the beautiful boys who live in Ober Eschbach, Hessen Germany. I love, love, love you all. Talk to me you fuckin cunts.

#2 - I'm doing 2 LIVE (oh dear god) TV interviews this week. To save myself from the embarassment, no, I'm not telling when. And no, I'm not telling where either. You can channel surf your tv set all you want but I ain't telling you anything. I'll get one of my minions to take pictures of this historical moment though. The only thing I'm gonna wish for at this time is that Mercury Drug (the Philippines' biggest drug/pharmacy chain) better have a shitload of xanax ready for me. I'll take 10 pills before the interview and 20 pills after.

#3 - Suicide is the best way to deal with shame. If suicide doesn't work, emigrating to an unknown African town is the next best option. Masai beads, anyone?

#4 - Trust me, I'll BURN my snot-colored passport and stop going on sex tourism trips if all third world penises are as big as that. I came across this photo on Jenna's blog. I love Jenna!

# 5 - Bryanboy gives a big shout out to all the fabulous people at Penshoppe Juniors (Girl's/Teens Line) Creative Team. I love the fantastic pout on each and every one of your faces. You all look absolutely STUNNING!

I'll never forget those days back in the dark ages (aka mid 1990s) when a Penshoppe (or a Bench) hand towel is the accessory de rigeur of every middle class school child. I was soooo fuckin jealous of the mother fuckers. Half of my schoolmates had them in every color imaginable whereas I only had 2 of them cause my mom told me it's better to carry handkerchiefs and not hand towels to school.

#7 - SOMEBODY STOP THE LIGHT!!!!! I'M ALREADY AT THE GLAMOROUS END OF THE TUNNEL!!!! I'm having even more flashbacks of my childhood. Who would've forgotten good ol' Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield? Jesus, god knows how much money I stole from my parents just to be able to buy the entire Sweet Valley Kids, Sweet Valley Twins, Sweet Valley High, Sweet Valley University book set little by little? (And yes, even the god damn Sweet Valley Slam Book) My former schoolmates won't let me borrow their books cause they think I'm not gonna return it. My dad thought my obsession with Sweet Valley was ridiculous AND frivolous - he wanted me to read HARDY FUCKIN BOYS.

He ended up being right though.

Sweet Valley was frivolous...

and I should've sticked with HARD BOYS.

Y'all know where to contact me mother fuckers.

Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Remember: I love Sephora... and so should you!

Baboosh!

Offtopic, Summer is Coming, Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

Offtopic.com

There goes my US$4.95.

I have to tell you people... I lurrrrrrrrrrrrve those folks at that forum Offtopic.com. The people there have been talking about me non-stop. Some guy even started a thread saying I'm probably the gayest person in Myspace (see my myspace profile).

One guy then asked the group whether the person below is me or not... and then some minimum-waging sweetheart showed off his photoshop skills and superimposed my blowjob pic there.

I love it! HI-FUCKING-LARIOUS. Thanks for making my day. Money well-spent. :)

Summer is Coming

Summer is fast approaching in the third world. Expect the battle of the beautiful bodies and the cellulite freaks in 2 months.

As always, boys have it all on the easy side. All they need to do is to ditch that beer, inject some steroids and start working out at the nearest gym.

Girls have it tough though.

I swear to god, I am so going to have this picture blown up to a posterific proportions and post it in front of my fridge.

I don't care what one has to do to get that perfect body. I'm taking up bulimia classes first thing Monday morning and I promise I'm gonna take pictures of my first puke.

Even Lindsay Lohan admitted to drug abuse and purging. You go girl! Show these fat mother fuckers that the only way to lose unwanted pounds is by channeling Kate Moss and purging out our inner Fiona Apples.

No, I'm not surprised.

 

That lucky Nicole bitch has it all - the visible rib cage, the flat stomach, the gorgeous pelvic bones, lanky arms, the visble leg gap... everything a girl needs to look perfect on the beach.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

1. Bryanboy loves people from Bordeaux, France, Atlanta, GA, King of Prussia, PA, Cleveland, OH, Dreieich, Germany, Leaside, ONT Canada, Desert Hot Springs, CA, Madison, WI, Wakarusa, IN, Sykesville, MD, Geneva, Switzerland, Vienna, Austria, Ong Lee Village, Singapore, Dublin, Ireland and of course, my homies in La Habra, California. Bryanboy loves y'all! Identify yourselves bitches by posting a comment on my blog.

2. Those Etnies shoes are nasty. Why get Etnies when you can get Etro. I want these damn sneakers. I bought a pair of these at Vivre.com for US$236.99 (formerly US$475). Aren't they gorgeous?

3. Phoebe Philo resigned from Chloe (Vogue UK)

4. Where the hell can I get the new Tom Ford sunglasses?

5. I drink champagne in the morning, I drink champagne in the afternoon. I drink champagne in the bubble bath, I drink champagne in my dressing room. Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne! Chammmmmmpagne!

6. Some of the items stolen from me last year: Chanel sunglasses (2), various YSL and Chanel cosmetics, Lalique ring, Fendi squirrel key chain, travellers cheques, Dior watch, Piaget watch, Dolce & Gabbana flip flops, Marni necklace. I hope you're having a ball with my stuff whoever you are. Just because I have a carefree attitude with my shit (i.e. I don't store them properly or I just leave them anywhere) it doesn't mean you people can take advantage of my vulnerability. Fuckin thieves.

7. Buy that Hotel Costes 8 CD. I bought it a couple of months ago and I'm still listening to it religiously.

8. The folks at the Valet Shop of Manila Shangri-la hotel need a good spanking. I called to ask what time they close and the lady told me they are open until 9PM. I got there at 8PM on Friday (in spite of having a bad cold and slight fever) and the shop was closed. The concierge said they close at 7PM not 9. Totally wasted my time.

9. More love from all over the world. By now you should know that true love comes in the form of photographs. NO PHOTOSHOPPED photos silvous plait. Email me prima facie evidence of your unconditional love at bryanboy@gmail.com. Be fucking creative god dammit. Go to your local fire station and get those firefighters hold that I LOVE BRYANBOY sign. Make them sweaty and get them naked.

I love these girls...  kisses, hugs and chanel bags for you two.

10. I haven't down a "Bryanboy Life Archives" tidbit in a long time. For those of you who are new to this site, "Bryanboy Life Archives" is where I take out skeletons from my colourful and not-so-closeted past.

This photo was taken in London 6 years ago, back when I was barely legal. I used to smile back then. Oh how I miss those days.

For more bits from the archives, click here, here, here and here.

11. Keep those text messages coming. Your messages of love and hate means a lot to a lonely mother fucker such as myself.

Thought I'd let y'all know that I'm an equal opportunity blogger.

I don't blog for a certain crowd. I don't blog for a certain class. Hell, I don't even blog for any type of people.

I only blog for... MYSELF!

I think that's it. It's early Sunday morning (3:19PM) and I'm sick again. Damn cold and cough. I'm supposed to go out and have a ball. Fuck it, I'm sooo bored.

Rescue me from boredom. Entertain me mother fuckers. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com. SMS +63-195-785-1492.

Baboosh.