Like the rest of the world, I, too, am shocked and devastated on the news of Malaysian Airlines Flight 17. My heart goes to the family members, loved ones and friends of the innocent victims of this horrific tragedy. I almost cried when I first read about it on my cellphone. The plane did not crash because of technical or pilot error. The plane was shot down high up in the sky by murderers! 298 innocent lives were killed.

I’m sure you all know that I spend an awful amount of time inside airplanes because of work. Air travel used to be a novel idea, an activity that most people do when they go on holidays or the odd business trip. But for some, like me, air travel is a routine akin to work commute. Many say that statistically, it’s safer to be in a plane than a car but for some strange reason, the more I fly, the more I develop a fear of flying. There’s always that weird, “what if I’m next”, thought at the back of my head that lingers after I board an aircraft.

One of my closest friends told me the other day over lunch that dying by way of an air disaster is his biggest fear. I agree with him completely. The idea of knowing you’re about to die within minutes or seconds is terrifying. For him it’s about being absolutely helpless and the fact that there’s nothing one can do to control situation. For me it’s about the lack of having closure, the lack of being able to say goodbye to my loved ones in a “proper” way. I really don’t want my final send off to be a photo of a designer bag on my plane seat or worse, a selfie on instagram with a plane emoji and a caption saying “I’m off to XXXX (my next destination)”.

I’m scheduled to take four flights next week. Granted, Im traveling to AND from relatively low-risk, safe destinations. I’m not gonna lie through my teeth and say I’m not scared. I am! Unfortunately, there’s not much we can all do but to wish for the best. Or, as my Swedish boo always tell me, have a safe flight.

Bryanboy at the Empire State Building, New York City
Bryanboy at the viewing deck of the Empire State Building, New York
Downtown Manhattan, New York Skyline from Empire State Building
Midtown Manhattan and Uptown, view of New York Skyline from Empire State Building

Sunglasses by Balenciaga, top by Calvin Klein Collection, backpack by Chanel