The Others And The Cursed

Written By bryanboy

Bryanboy at the Nylon Guys and ASOS event
At the Nylon Guys x ASOS event at the Wythe Hotel in Brooklyn the other day. Coat by Adrienne Landau, shirt by Theory, sweater by Calypso St. Barth, jeans by Sandro, shoes by Pedro Garcia.

While waiting for the 6 Train last night, I sat beside this lone guy in his very early 20s carrying a number of paper bags. Someone took advantage of the beautiful, sunny Saturday afternoon to shop. He went to Hollister, Who.A.U (yes, I googled. Click HERE) and Victoria’s Secret, amongst other places. I couldn’t resist noticing him because of the distinct, pink Victoria’s Secret bag. Was he a sister? A secret Shim? Or a straight guy looking to get laid? I guess I’ll never know.

Gaydar calibration aside, that’s not the point.

The point is, millions of people around the world spend their Saturday afternoons shopping. Most of these people are buying things, random things, to improve their lives… you know, to make themselves happy, to make themselves feel good, to make themselves look good. To most of these people, shopping is an activity that gives them pleasure. Or the people around them, if they’re buying gifts.

I find it fascinating though how the majority of people around the world have simple, fuzz-free taste.

Fascinating as in I kinda feel jealous.

During the train ride home, I asked myself, why am I not one of those people?

Why can’t I just walk in to any random shop and buy things that I like? Instead, I always engage in a mental conversation with myself to rationalize my purchases. In spite of the occasional impulse buys, most of my purchases are now calculated with extreme precision worse than a penny-pinching bag lady carrying a calculator at the supermarket. Buying things just because you like it is no longer enough. Do I really need this? Is it worth the price I’m paying for? Can I get it cheaper online? Was this item made by an army of bionic toddlers in Pakistan? Is this item overexposed? Has anyone blogged about it? How many blog posts can I get from it? Is it an advertiser? Is there a press discount? Will the sample be sent? If yes, how long? Do other trannies have it? What is the lifespan of this item? Is it ok to wear it over and over and over again for the next two months? Can I still wear it three months from now? What is the cost-per-wear ratio?

There is something VERY pure about people who buy simple, modest, humble things at simple, modest, humble shops — they don’t give a flying fiver! And that, my friends, is the best thing in the world.

Am I cursed?

Perhaps someone dropped me on my head when I was a child?

Is ‘this’ (the curse) the result of being exposed to years and years and years and years of poring over fashion magazines, traveling, being aware of what my options are and knowing there are better things out there?

During a weekend afternoon in Stockholm last month, Rumi, my boyfriend and I went shopping. I saw this cute sweater on a rack somewhere. My two beloved individuals gave me funny looks when I picked it up. “After experiencing cashmere, I don’t think you should settle for acrylic,” Rumi quipped. And she was right.

It’s frustrating because the older I get, the more I want things that nobody else has, the more I want to be the first to be wearing, the more I want things that are obscene, the more I want things that are obscenely expensive (even if I couldn’t afford it), the more I want things that people have already worn ages ago so they don’t want them anymore and are now affordable, the more I don’t want to look like anyone else. I find it cool when people ask you where an item is from as opposed to wearing something of the moment, something oh so identifiable “oh hay gurl I love your *insert label here* this and that”.

Do I want the new, ultra chic black Patient Zero Saint Laurent Paris bag? O HALE YES. But it’s three fucking thousand dollars and it wouldn’t take very long for every bitch and tranny to carry them in no time (see Celine bags, see bloggers 2.0, bloggers 3.0, see bloggers 4.0, see Kim Kardashian. in that pecking order). And for three fucking thousand dollars I don’t want to be one of the flock. Woe is me.

Do I want small, strappy two-tone dyed pony skin 3.1 Phillip Lim bag? Yes, I want the small, strappy, two-tone dyed pony skin 3.1 Phillip Lim bag. Did I buy the small, strappy two-tone dyed pony skin 3.1 Phillip Lim bag? Yes, I bought the small, strapy two-tone dyed pony skin 3.1 Phillip Lim bag at the sample sale. Hello? It’s a no-brainer!

Eeew. I’m gonna stop rambling. Clearly I’m self-obsessed. In my attempt to demystify others, I ended up demystifying myself.

Go fuck yourselves and enjoy the weekend. It’s nice and sunny out there and I still need a god damn dining table.

Happy shopping!


  1. That’s what happen when you are born poor and suddenly you have access to everything, it’s never enough time, clothes and everything you think money can buy. :) Yes you demystified yourself, i hope this helps. :) btw there’s nothing wrong with being poor, what’s wrong is when you die poor and did too much diabolic actions.

  2. I’m an over-analytical shopper myself, between finances, body image and flat out personal taste. Today I tried a pair of tall riding boots, I kept them on for about 10 minutes straight and then put them back in the box and left. Why? Cause of the internal 10 minute conversation that ensued. Do I need those? I have other black tall boots. What will I wear them with? Do I like the way other people wear them? Do I want to look like that? Hellz no, I don’t want to wear a “uniform”. Are those boots why I walked into this store to begin with? No, not really. Do I want them because I really like them, or because they have saturated my field of vision? Bla, bla, blabbity bla. And I leave Macy’s without the boots. I grew up in a culture where you buy stuff when you need them, regardless of how rational the need is, you buy them because you feel good about them and because they are of a quality to stay with you for a good while. Fast fashion has destroyed this beyond measure. Which is why there are so many people with enormous wardrobes and yet nothing to wear. I strongly believe that one should buy things with a clear understanding why they’re doing so. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

  3. “Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” ~E.L. Doctorow
    Thanks for your post Bryan. I can relate to this ha ha…
    Have you ever thought about going bespoke ? Ciao bello, Laurent

  4. Love this look! And I completely agree with your rant (personally, I love your rants). I’ve always thought of myself as just a “cheap Asian” for not buying things for the price tag. But a lot of the time it’s more than just that. It’s frustrating when I like something when it first comes out in stores, but then after a while, everyone is wearing it. I don’t want to be another person who is just “following trends” and wearing what everyone else is wearing at the moment. You look at other people on the street, and a lot of the time you can actually see a sort of uniform in the way they dress, based on what’s “in” at the moment…

  5. I think that when you are insecure about yourself and your inadequacies, you seem to want a lot of things to cover up that feeling. When you are more at peace and in a content place, these material things don’t matter as much anymore. You are normal like everybody, with mood swings and moments of self-doubt, except that you are on a different level of sartorial awareness.

  6. I think people who don’t over-analyze and are “simple humble shoppers” or whatever are probably more relaxed but they are SO missing out! Like, why would you buy a mediocre coat at Reiss full price when you can spend $200 more and get a Prada tweed princess coat at a sample sale? 1) its way better quality 2) will age better 3) you just got swindled at Reiss and look MEDIOCRE. We just have so many options these days and so many different ways of getting exactly what we want at the prices we want that going the “normal humble” path just seems plain oblivious to the reality of the modern shop-o-scape. Honestly, I think you are actually the incarnation of the modern shopper who employs a complex weighing scheme composed of many different factors and options before making a purchase. At the end of the day, who looks better? You or Mr. Banana Republic full price? Exactly.

  7. Bryan, you did so well when you were in India and I thought you were about to head down a new path there, that of the tailor made.
    There’s nothing more exclusive, nothing more unique, nothing more precious (since you spent the time and effort designing it yourself). Also, if you spend on luxurious fabrics (leathers, luxe silks and impossibly irresistable wool and cashmere) then you can work that pricetag to be whatever you like.
    Team your unique wardrobe with designer bags and shoes and shades and hey presto – you will have a style of your own.

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