Everything in this world has a shelf life.
The idea of me pecking away at the keyboard at three in the morning, sharing images of my tiresome self to internet folk when I hit my mid-thirties is cringe-worthy. God forbid I turn into one of them geriatrics desperately clinging to their fading youth, forcing themselves to keep up with the times.
My biggest fear is to end up being that miserable, unhappy, bitter old queen who, at first glance, seem to have it all. No one knows that every night, he takes his mixture of two foundations, Maybelline and Nars, off, unveiling his face, his scars, his multiple nose jobs, botox, stitches and collagen… all in front of the mirror. He wraps his hair in a towel while he sings to “Stars are Blind” and thinks of what he’s gonna wear the next day — which Pologeorgis fur matches his gray, wide-leg Akris trousers, what haute joaillerie to wear with the latest Prada.
I don’t want that.
I always tell myself to simply go with the natural ebb and flow of things in order for me to have a felicitous life.
Thing is, I’m not one who likes to leave everything to good ol’ fate and destiny. I’ve said it many times over and over — I believe in creating opportunities for myself rather than waiting for opportunities to land on my lap. Dreams remain dreams if you don’t act upon them.
The universe, so far, has been incredibly generous to me. I think I’ve reached a certain point where I have most of what I want in life — a supportive family, a loving partner and a very loyal set of friends and business colleagues who unconditionally stand by me through thick and thin, warts and all. I have traveled the world and back. Times twenty. I’m also in a position where I can finally give back and I do. OK FINE, I don’t have enough expensive clothes but then again you can never have enough expensive clothes, furs, jewwwwwry and leather goods but in all seriousness, overall, I’m a happy camper.
AND NOW WHAT?
The problem is, I have so much energy, drive and ambition. I always have this never-ending desire to experience new things, to do more, to do better.
I feel like I need to do something really remarkable.
Every time I look at very successful people in the news, I always, always feel inferior because I haven’t achieved anything significant in this world.
So how and where do we go from here? I’m always up for a good challenge.
Answers on a postcard…
Photo via Sonny Vandevelde