People Like Attention And Affection

People Like Attention And Affection

Written By bryanboy

The thing I dislike most about indie films is that I never get to see them because they are often widely unavailable or they don’t make DVD versions. I want to see “Weekend”, a movie about two men meeting on a Friday night and then they hung out, bonded and got to know each other for a whole weekend. I have a feeling they fell in love blah blah blah then it didn’t work blah blah blah etc. I don’t know the rest of the story but I definitely want to see it.

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Weekend Movie starring Tom Cullen and Chris New
Looks familiar? Can I see a show of hands?

I’ve gone through that shit dozens of times. I think it’s exactly the same for most people. It’s human nature that we like attention and affection. Give me attention and maybe I’ll show you a little bit of affection. Show me a wee bit of affection and I’ll definitely give you some attention.

We all have met strangers that we like… some we dispose, while some, well, let’s say we end up having a deep connection with. I cannot count the number of guys I’ve met over the years at my travels where the two of us get along so well but we have to cut it short because of the distance between us. I was single for what, many, many years and it was only until I met my boyfriend that I decided to give this relationship thing a go. Mind you, it’s the same story. We met in Stockholm, we spent time together, etc, etc etc and after two or three months, we bit the bullet and made a commitment.

During the earlier days of my relationship, I disliked it whenever guys from my boyfriend’s past reached out to him — you know, former flames, former friends with benefits the whole lot, people who weren’t aware that my bf is now partnered. I know how some gays work and the length some would go to just to get some dick and nuts, even if the other person has a partner or what have you. I hated the idea of him still talking to them and I’m glad I made that point. Sissy as I come, I have to mark my territory. It’s the alpha male in me.

People come as package deals, of course, and we all have to accept that this is always the case. Nobody comes without excess baggage. Though I must admit, my bf deserves an award for being secure in our relationship because when you think about it, I’m the one that travels the most and I meet so many people in so many cities yet I’m the one who is insecure and watching him like a hawk. Ironic, isn’t it?

There will always be someone out there who is prettier, thinner, more talented, more intelligent, nicer, richer, taller, blonder, darker, tanner, have a bigger dick or boobs, have better skin, have a tighter ass, etc. No one is irreplaceable. If you are too perfect, you can easily be replaced by someone less perfect than you. Most of us fear our partners meeting other people (whether from the past… or in the future) and forming something meaningful with them. My fear is that my bf would give up on me in exchange for someone similar and closer to him. I’m not exactly the most normal and stable person out there, what, with my lifestyle and nature of my work? I’m anything but normal.

Watching that trailer made me think. How many of us know our limits? Single or not, do you easily fall for someone after meeting them and bonding very briefly? To those in relationships, do you continuously see other people (thinking it’s harmless) and stretch your limits to see how far it would take you?

Enough babbling on a Wednesday. If you get the chance to see this film, be sure to let me know how it ends!


  1. Janine SheerDressing

    Nice to read some information about you and your partner. I just stumbled into the fashionblog-thingy recently so I do not know your blog so well. There are probably lots of stereotypes around queer people that, sometimes as true but they do not have to apply on everyone, and your story proves that (the monogamy/promiscuity debate). What I also noticed from the trailer that both boys have the ‘heterosexual’-look so it proves that preference (or love/connection as you mentioned) can happen outside the boundaries what appears to be queer. Ps: lots of indie movies are brilliant and try to find more of them.

  2. Clarke Gasper

    It’s still in the film festival rotation. I saw it at NYC’s Newfest, but no wide release yet.

  3. Clarke Gasper

    It’s still in the film festival rotation. I saw it at NYC’s Newfest but no wide release yet.

  4. Interesting post! How nice to read something different compared to other bloggers. Respect!
    Anne, DK

  5. Could definitely relate to what you said in this post… I myself feel insecure at times and can easily bond to the right people at the right times… Very nice to read your thoughts on a topic like this!

  6. Great timing BB! I’m going through something somewhat similar right now, so I appreciate you posting this up, comforting. :) And I appreciate the vulnerability.

  7. bluecandyboy

    it’s really nice to read something so honest and a little bit serious from you (i bet you can find this film somewhere online free, you know you are good at that, remember the September Issue?) :)

  8. surely your nomad lifestyle would make you more interesting? Lovely heartfelt post and something I think about alot. I have always been quite ‘territorial’ over a partner. That trailer looks great, I am from UK and love indies, so surprised I hadn’t come across it xx

  9. A breath of fresh air to hear something human/personal on your blog. I am a big fan these days of knowing your limits. Before I met my current love, I used to think “just because i am in a relationship doesnt mean i cant do what i want (sexually).”
    But now i honestly believe in love…and when you are in love you can barely even bring yourself to notice any other being, youre so smitten.

    Plus my great aunt (82 yrs old) gave me some good advice unwittingly one day She said “The older you get, its harder to fall in love. So as many times as you may fall in love in your youth… savour it!”

  10. hey bryan, it’s my first comment here. i just want to say i am proud of you being ‘different’, ‘not normal’ or whatever you name it and i think everyone should embrace their differences instead of trying to fit into a cookie cuttered lifestyle. look where your ‘difference’ has brought you to! your style and persona has definitely brought a dash of fresh air to the world. and hopefully, people will also learn to lead the lives they want and stop trying to deceive others and themselves. pershaps by then, as we embrace our uniqueness, we learn to be more accepting towards others’ flaws and differences too. may the world be a better place.

  11. Great article Brian! It always feels good to read this kind of deep and serious stuffs you write. :) And I know where you’re coming from, sometimes we tend to remain single because of these complications. Wishing you luck on your current relationship Brian!

    “How many of us know our limits? Single or not, do you easily fall for someone after meeting them and bonding very briefly? To those in relationships, do you continuously see other people (thinking it’s harmless) and stretch your limits to see how far it would take you?”

  12. Hi bryanboy I had the same issue with my bf a few years back i was away from him since I was working in maldives and i am so freakin insecure.. I mean i had a few Maldivian guys but you know its just difficult.. I was not mature enough to accept reality and I failed to understand.. we used to fight about the ex the ex-men only a year ago i realized it’s pointless it’s a waste of time and energy to be jealous all the time. I went back, left my job and told him ‘you know what let’s just enjoy life and stop fighting, I’m tired of being a detective, I’m too fabulous to have wrinkles’…. Life is fucking short to waste love..

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