Love-Hate ReLAtionship

Written By bryanboy

I’ve been to a handful of places around the world and no other city has the same effect on me like Los Angeles does.

Bryanboy in front of Marc by Marc Jacobs store in Los Angeles, California

Sometimes I love it, but most of the time, well, I don’t. I always cringe whenever I’m faced with the prospect of going but once I’m here, everything turns out to be OK. Part of the reason why I can’t stand the place is the fact that I don’t know how to drive.

Click click click to continue.

Well, I know how to drive an automatic car but I don’t know how to park.

And I don’t have a driver’s license. I had a student’s license many, many years ago but it expired.

I just can’t be bothered going through the sheer inconvenience of trying to learn how to drive again because I do not have the patience, let alone free time, to do so.

LA is a massive city where driving is de rigueur. I once walked a mile and people thought I was cray cray! But what can I do? Cabs are difficult to find and sometimes, they don’t even show up when you call them. I had to rely on gracious friends to drive me around (on a side note, my gurl Rumi is a really good driver!!) but I can’t do that all of the time especially when they have things going on in their life.

As for cabs, well, let me tell you about the time I had a very important meeting in Glendale. Rumi slept over at my place in West Hollywood so she dropped me off in Glendale the next morning on her way back to Silverlake. Because she had things to do, I was on my own to go back to West Hollywood. It took me about an hour to wait for a cab to pick me up and then I paid roughly around $160 to go back! Can you imagine? I’d be paying three hundred bucks roundtrip if Rumi didn’t drop me off that day.

LA is so big that it doesn’t have a decent and speedy public transport system. I felt like a crippled person!

Driving dilemmas aside, LA is the only city where I felt so insecure about my body. A lot of people have terrific bodies. Everything about them is fake but they’re perfect. The girls are thin, the guys are all muscly. People look good! There are gyms in every corner. In West Hollywood, even the gyms have rainbow flags in them. I’d love to see WeHo queens go on a death match with Chelsea queens in New York.

They have all these “healthy options” type of places everywhere, even cafes have 10-word drinks. Whatever happened to just wanting iced tea? No, it’s not available. But they do have “organic Moroccan mint tea with bobba beads, soy latte and light ice”, which, btw, I love.

Lawd have mercy.

Whenever I go to places, I like to “unlock” the city within the first two days of me setting foot. Not in LA. It’s tough to crack. No matter how many times I go back, I can’t get my bearings. In cities like New York, Milan or Paris, it’s piss easy. You know where to go and how to get there. I often question myself, where do all the young, beautiful people go in Los Angeles? There’s always that aroma of mysteriousness wafting around in the air. Sometimes I feel like LA is just one big illusion. A city filled with smoke and mirrors. You see all these glittery LA places online, on magazines, on yes, TMZ, and think to yourself ‘oh wow, it’s fabulous’ and then once you’re there, bam, there’s nobody or it’s boring.

In hindsight, maybe that’s what makes LA special. Everything only exists in your imagination.


  1. oooh how i want to travel there one day! when are you getting down to australia bryan? cant wait to read your article in the herald that you gave an interview for the other day.x

  2. Interesting post. I really want to go there to experience this whole different world…

  3. Claudia

    L.A. The city where even milk billboards are sexual. L.A. can be very fun as long as you don’t take it seriously. It is supeficial. People are more intent on their outer self than their inner self. That being said, if you just take it for what it is, it can be an incredibly fun place. …no car…now that is a problem!

  4. Nicely put, I feel the same way every time I’m in LA. You articulated my feelings better than I ever could. Cheers!

  5. Great blog!!! What I love about LA is the perfect weather almost all year round. Manila and London gets about 140-160days of rain a year. Here, if we’re lucky, we’ll get 35days of rain a year. Yes, not having a car is a big problem here. I don’t know any other major city in the world with similar poor public transport. That being said, most people in LA like to be seen driving around in a nice car. We’re vain like that. The true fashionable is seen in the most luxurious cars. Let me know when you’re in town and I may be able to drive you around.

  6. Marcela Hernandez

    this is the reason why I love you bryanboy you are so honest !!! always say the things the way they are ! and I love your strong personality thats what makes your blog so amazing so inspiring ! Bryan come to Montreal ,Canada ! you wont be dissaponted !

  7. I agree LA is a lot more difficult to really get to know than most cities because of its massiveness. You should try using the subway! Also maybe if you journey out with someone that lives/goes out here all the time you could uncover the good stuff. Because it is here I promise! I find the best people and hang outs are in Los Feliz, Silverlake, Echopark, and even Downtown around Spring St. Take some time to get to know the LA!

  8. I love L.A for the food, nightlife and more, but you’re right, southern california is a very car centric place. Personally I think style and beauty wise, New York has it in the bag.

  9. BB you just hit on the ever lasting argument I have with my partner about LA. I find myself to be cute and handsome but OMG I just cant compete with the muscle guys in LA. I am just cutesy…not muscley! Anyhow I workout all the time and went to the WeHo Golds Gym, I was like a chiwawawah with its tail in between his legs. I agree its hard to compete in LA sistah. Love you :)

  10. Yimi Cruz Bringas

    sucha delicious outfit!
    what do you do with the clothes you dont wear anymore?
    you can send me all!

  11. LA is a mystery and a jungle. It is ridic! Both in a good and a bad way. The fact that we need a car here is beyond crazy. I wish public transportation worked!

  12. I’m more curious in knowing what kind of meeting you could have had in Glendale, because there is basically nothing remotely interesting there. I should know, since I work in the neighborhood.

  13. dear bryanboy, my name is lu, &i love your blog! i think you are well written and handsome! i like when you are on the topic of your boyfriend &rumi! bye!

    oh. also, your insecurities are all in your head, you dapper chapper, you!

  14. Wow. I never commented on your blog, because I thought it’s not my type of blog, got redirected here from Rumi. But, wow, this is a very insightful post, i love the metaphors you are using, you are a good writer. I live in Los Angeles and sometime I have the same feeling… Love hate it… I live in Malibu actually, which is not really LA… but still. Everything is so glossy from the outside… once you are in, it feels like a huge soap bubble.

  15. Please don’t take this the wrong way. You look a lot like my dad when he was young (skinny, tan, girlish face, smoking!). I wonder if you’ll look like him when you are his age (75). So watching you is like watching time go by very slowly.

  16. Aaawwww…. I live in LA for almost 6 years now, from NYC, and I feel the same way. The only difference is , I drive, and I love it!…I love your post BB….You go Girl!!! xoxo

  17. Born and raised in LA I can understand why you find this city to be a love/hate thing. Los Angeles seems like from the outside that it is all plastic but I think when you “crack the code” like you said, its a dreamy place to be. Def need a car to drive around and fall in love with the city. xoxo love your blog

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