You Wish You Were Here, I Wish I Was There

It's two in the afternoon and I've spent the whole day so far cocooned in my hotel room, working. Just took a quick video of Copacabana beach from my room.

I wish I was there but I don't want to go to the beach alone. You know them Brazilians. They have amazing bodies. Am I willing to suffer the humiliation of being surrounded by body-conscious, fit, well-oiled, muscular Brazilians? No. HELL NO. I am too self-conscious to go down there looking like a naked petite Asian buddha with my belly! Does spanx make swimsuits? Where's that high-cut, one-piece bikini and Hermes beach towel when I need it?

You may wish you were here in Rio de Janeiro but I wish I was down there at the beach…

I'm gonna go get my haircut now… then it's back to the daily grind for me.