Karmic Retribution by KLM Airlines

Written By bryanboy

Karmic Retribution

At long last, I’ve arrived at my final destination. Houston, we have a, no, Amsterdam, we have a problem.

They say bad luck comes in threes.

– Fourteen hour flight
– Sixteen hour layover

– Amsterdam Schiphol airport closed
– Connecting flight delayed by three hours

and now…

KLM Lost Luggag

KLM LOST MY LUGGAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did I do in my previous (I said previous, not present, ok? Haters gonna hate…) life to deserve this shit? Was a I murderer? Did I kill people?

All my clothes, my shoes, my handbags, my accessories, my printed Topman underwear – briefs with printed lips, my precious
Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs are now gone. GONE. GONE. GONE WITH THE WIND

The day I used my Prada nylon suitcase (and not the Vuitton trunk) to scrimp on weight because of the bitch ass baggage allowance is also the day the airlines decided to do my head in.

Any chance of the powers that be at KLM Royal Dutch Airlines to help me out?

I promise I’ll play nice from now on. No more dirty tricks.

No more “I’ll bring a magazine with me on it and pretend I’m reading the page with my photo on it” to get the check-in counter girl’s attention to give me an upgrade.

What’s the point of “priority baggage handling” as a benefit of Delta Skymiles Platinum Medallion member/SkyTeam Elite Plus when KLM lost my luggage?



  1. christopher

    babe, those cunts at KLM have lost my bags three times. the third being the last straw. they lost it when all that snow occured over christmas across europe and my bag was gone for SEVEN days…right over the holidays. I have always gotten them back (if that’s any consolation) but with all the delays happening across europe, my bet is its sitting in a warehouse back logged…. waiting its turn to get to where you are.
    My idea is to hit the shops.

  2. Isabel

    OMG- that’s total bull! Been there, done that in the Philippines…instead they were stolen :( Totes hope you can get it all back in one piece, Bryan Boy! GL.

  3. Don’t worry. Anyone who has traveled has had their luggage lost at some point. Usually the airline can find them. It may take some time, though. Meanwhile, KLM should have given you some money to buy essentials & a few goodies.

  4. Gosh that’s what I fear everytime i take a plane.. This can’t be true ! As long as they were not interested in your bags and stuffs..!

  5. Laveena

    Bryanboy please listen to me here, I mean well. Please put a small lemon in all your bags, luggage, hand carry, purse, all your pieces, just sneak a small lemon inside. Believe it or not, it helps ward of all negativity and anything bad that may happen to your luggage during travel. It’s a custom in India, we always do it, it works! Please don’t see it as something silly and brush this message aside. I really mean well in all earnestness.
    I hope you get your luggage soon and are free from your current misery; your travel woes. Take care.

  6. If it’s any consolation, TAP Portugal lost my bags once. Got them the next day, but one of them was broken into and had a few things stolen (play station games I had brought as a present). You know that tacky plastic crap people wrap their luggage in? Do it, next time!!!
    I always pack clothes in my hand luggage just in case.

  7. If you need any help here in the Netherlands let me know, I can check for you at the airport or call them or something. I’m living near by!

  8. Dont worry,It will be fine.I can see where you are going though-St.Petersburg-its the word Pulkovo written on that sheet is giving you away=))

  9. OUCHHHHHH oooh hun I hope you get it back! With all your amazing clothes, I feel for you! Good luck!!

  10. i plan to take KLM for vienna this coming month but not anymore.

  11. KLM lost my luggage too, 4 years ago.
    I never found it. I’m still crying.

  12. that sucks balls big time!! sorry to hear that. well, just stay calm and mind the matters in a relax way possible. i know you’ll get it and we’ll be reading all about it here..xoxo

  13. PLiNi

    WHATTT!!! thoseee fuckingg bitchesSs!!
    how bout you scream you’ll bitchslap && bomb each and everyone of them if they don’t find your belongings!!!
    waiitt…then you’ll go to jail…&& you wouldn’t be able to get wherever you wanna get to!

  14. KLM lost er left my bag once — I was a late check-in thus the reason why it didn’t get into my flight. argh. anyway, you will get your luggage, that for sure. It will just be delayed.

  15. Candace

    You need to ship your luggage to your destination from now on!

  16. OMG, that’s suck. i am sorry to hear that, it’s my biggest fear for me as well everytime i travel. Did you get travel insurance? if so, you should claim the airline and the insurance..!!good luck. and u will get your lovely stuffs back soon, no worry. stay positive, breathe!

  17. I saw the word “Pulkovo” in the photo… Is your trip Russia-related? Any sort of layover or the baggage went through there? That will explain the loss. Russian airports and customs drown in corruption and steal stuff all the time.

  18. Bryan Boy, that’s terrible news! I hope it’s recovered SOON.

  19. I’ve been flying Vancouver-Helsinki-Vancouver a LOT for last 4 years and always with British Airways and there has only been ONE time that they did NOT lost my luggage and that was when I didn’t check anything in! I just had my hand luggage. I’m not kidding!
    So now it’s more like tradition. It almost feels pointless to stand next to the carusel waiting for the luggage because you pretty much know it won’t be there.

  20. Oh Honey, I feel your pain. Continental airlines lost my luggage back in March as I was coming back home to NYC from Paris fashion week.

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