Suicide Watch

Written By bryanboy

Suicide Watch

This is what happened at the salon yesterday afternoon.

Suicide Watch

Two minutes into the head massage, boom outta nowhere…

Shampooist: Sir, huwag po kayo magagalit sa akin.
Translation: Sir, please don’t be mad at me.

Me: Bakit naman?
Translation: Why’s that?

Shampooist: Alam nyo po, masama po yan ginagawa ninyo sa sarili niyo. Hindi po maganda yan.
Translation: You know, what you’re doing to yourself is terrible. That’s not good.

Me: Ha?
Translation: Huh?

Shampooist: Hindi po yan ang solusyon sa problema ninyo. Kasalanan po yan. Kukunin po kayo ni lord sa tamang panahon.
Translation: It’s not the solution to your problems. It’s a sin. God will take you at the right time.

Me: Ano yan pinagsasasabi mo?
Translation: What the hell are you saying?

(shampooist pointed to my wrist)


Shampooist: Ayyy sorry po.
Translation: Oh sorry.

Windang. Tambling. Hindi ko lang siya kinaya.

I think my hair stylist must be fuming at me right this second for tipping the shampooist five times what I tipped her.

Patnubayan sana sila ng poong maykapal.


  1. Ellery

    Ooh gurl, I know how you feel. Happens to me all the time.

  2. 1. that is hella funny. they tend to be nosy, no? like in the movies where the manicurists(is there such a term?)/hair stylists would just butt in your conversations. kalokah.
    2. you are so thin T_T alarmingly thin if i may add. you’re still fierce anyway.

  3. Sir, you are starving yourself to death, what you are doing is a sin etc, not a solution etc, God etc.

  4. You should have seen my arm after my friend’s 2 cats decided to race across it one night!! I still have a tiny scar from it.

  5. hahahahaa, love it “gaga ka!” havent said that for eons and eons of years :))

  6. hindi ko rin ito kinaya!
    SO hilarious!
    Bonggang Bonggang Fail and shampoist.
    So funny. you made my day :)

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