You Can Keep Me Here

Written By bryanboy

“You Can Keep Me Here.”

I’m back in the cesspit of the third world. Yes. You know, I cried a
little in the plane yesterday. I had such an amazing and wonderful time
in Beijing you people have no idea. Now. I haven’t served some cheese in the longest time so get ready for it. What you are about to read is a bit like the little homily at the end of Oprah. I think my heart grew two sizes yesterday. One of the highlights of my trip was taming a Dane. Let’s call him Mr Denmark or Mr DK for short. No he doesn’t have a name. OK fine, he does but it’s for me and only me to cherish. Not everything about my life is for public consumption you know.

Hah! Click click click!

Lemme tell you it’s a big, big, beautiful world out there. Never mind the fact that there are still heaps of people from western civilised nations who have no idea who Alber Elbaz is, but this trip was an eye opener for me and I kinda felt awkward because the stories and lives of the people I’ve met trumps my own personal experiences.

I’ve met backpackers and hitchhikers (yes, there’s this German guy who told me he went hitchhiking from Hungary to China or something like that), I hung out with couchsurfers, I partied with foreign students in dive bars, had endless dinners with tourists and expats over cheap Chinese, etc. It was really different than my usual holiday but really, I’ve never had so much fun. Like what I said, it’s so nice to detach yourself from your own little cocoon and be part of a bigger world out there.


Last Sunday, my Beijing BFF Akua (Wisconsin represent!!!!) and I, along with a few other friendly folk, went to The Boat bar for some dancing. A French woman DJed at the club — she was so good. 

People who know me well KNOW that I NEVER go (and I loathe being) on the pull whenever I go to clubs. Clubbing to me is like going to the gym — it’s just another venue for me to exercise, dance and burn some calories while being under the influence of alcohol.

While I was having a good work out dancing to French electro on the dancefloor, Akua and Mr Denmark met at the bar and started chatting. Akua then asked Mr DK if he’s gay and he said yes. Like all sassy and fabu fag hags, Akua went all like  “OH MY GOD MY FRIEND IS GAY TOO, YOU SHOULD MEET BRYAN” on him etc etc etc.

I was way too drunk so I don’t really remember what happened but according to Mr DK, we apparently talked for a bit, danced and even kissed on the dancefloor.

Uhh ok.

So I danced all night yaddi yaddi yadda…

It was getting late so me, Akua and Pete (the British guy) thought it was best to leave the club and go to McDonald’s for a quick post-clubbing binge.

What I do remember though is that before I left the club, Mr DK and I exchanged phone numbers and talked for a bit on the stairs.

Akua and I separated ways after McD’s. As soon as they put me in my cab, I rang Mr DK for a quick chat. Again, I can’t remember what we talked about but all I know is that the conversation ended up in a 20 minute car chase at 4 in the morning — me giving him directions to the hotel, my taxi driver giving his taxi driver directions, etc etc etc.

In the end, we met outside my hotel and he slept over till noon this Monday.

I’ll spare you ALL the gory (hah) details but we met up again on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

On my last night in Beijing, I had a quick dinner at 1001 Nights followed by two drinks at Opposite House. We were both tired and I had to pack my luggage so we went back to my hotel and had an early night.

In one of our postcoital conversations (durin that nice snuggling and cuddling part), I told him that although I *sometimes* do one-nighters, I  never do it with the same person more than a few times because I have major problems with feelings and emotions and I don’t want to get too attached or else I’ll be reaaaally sad in the end because I know it’s not going anywhere.

You wanna know what he said?



I almost died right then and there! It was soo mushy mushy – I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry. He’s a super sweet guy.

I think I told him “nooo, not there or else I’ll be sad” so I said “I’l keep you here” before pointing to my head.

Time went soo fast that night. 11 hours… 10 hours… 9 hours… 8 hours before I leave…

I had a good sleep though. Waking up next to a man with his arms around you and your face buried in his chest is better than the pleasure of maxing out your credit cards at Chanel, hands down.

He stayed until I checked out of the hotel and it was so depressing parting ways with someone you like not knowing when you’ll see them again. Who cares about ‘keeping in touch’ (even with today’s technology) when you know it simply won’t be the same, you know? Our lives change every day.

I’ve already left Beijing and he’s flying back to Copenhagen on Monday.

We exchanged a few messages when I was at the airport and on the plane. Here’s the last text message I received from him.

And there you have it.

Now if you excuse me, I need to get back to reality. Men are pretty much similar to fashion — they come and go faster than the speed of light. Nothing in this lifetime is permanent…everything is temporary so make sure you cherish every single great moment. I know I have… and will do, for life.



  1. It happens. Even if it’s sad, it’s still OK because you know you’re human too. Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be fine.

  2. Hi B! I’m an avid reader;) But I just have to drop by and say this is one of the best post you have! Well, I love all your fashion stuff posts but this one gives me chills!
    Take care;)

  3. It’s these moments that makes us feel human, the laughs and tears all of it
    Love you there BB

  4. Ohmigod. I missed this. So raw, and human. Aww… How bittersweet.
    “YOU CAN KEEP ME HERE.” – Some words we live for.

  5. definitely not old and fat.
    he’s 2 years younger than me and 5 or 6 inches taller!
    he’s in a weird position. his arm is under the pillow.

  6. You can keep me here. that got me speechless….. reminds me of that guy i met in Bangkok.. i thought and still think i had the most special 3days of huggin,kissing,loving… but once i left the city. it was never the same…
    it’s sad. but i still think that was love.

  7. You’re traveling a lot lately. So, it’s not too hard to make Copenhaken as your next destination, BB. :p

  8. men come and go, bryan—-and YOU fuckin’ know that!
    BUT, some are worth KEEPING, gurl!
    Take a chance, as Abba says! ;)
    Take it from your Ateh! :))

  9. this entry really hits me bryanboy ..
    it wraps me up with so delicate feeling … but with strength to move on ..

  10. Honey, i wasn’t talking to you i was talking to that person.. saying Mr DK looks fat..:-(
    well i hate those types..

  11. Hey, BB.
    I have read your blog for quite sometimes. But being a gay guy, I think i have the same thought as you. Your postcoital conversations with him definitely spot on. This is the reason why sometimes I avoid being a one-nighter. People often say that as a man, we can play without feeling. But more often that not, we can’t control what we feel inside.

  12. i know exactly how are you feeling.. similar story happenend to me with american guy in czech.. it just needs time :)

  13. He seems really sweet! There aren’t very many mushy men out there left. Don’t let him go that easily. Go to Copenhagen! Haha! :)

  14. there’s nothing wrong with being old nor fat… if GJ thinks that’s horrible, then he/she’s out of her mind!

  15. You have really touched me with the story of Mr Danish señor Bryanboyand.. This makes you SPECIAL too and fucked it´s really worth it keeping the specials. I hope to see you in the future too!

  16. This was indeed, an eye opener,
    you’re amazing btw ;]
    not that i need to tell you, lol.

  17. No fucking way.
    Bryan, I’ve read your blog for ages but I’ve never commented. When you wrote you were going to Beijing, I thought “aw, he should meet my friend M, I bet they would love each other”.
    AND YOU DID! I can’t believe it! He’s such a sweetheart.
    I am so glad you did meet each other. Hope to see you in Copenhagen one day ;)

  18. Sa tagal kong nagbabasa ng blog mo, ngayon lang ako nakakita ng post na inlove ka. Good for you BB! I do hope may part 2! Hahahaha. Maye here from your 2006 entry.

  19. Awww, that’s sweet. Almost like a dream, or a movie.
    Now fall in love in Paris :P

  20. aww BB.
    my hand was on my chest the whole time i was reading it. and you make such a good point in the end about cherishing great moments!

  21. Bryan, i haven’t finished reading yet, but yay for wisconsin!! and thanks for picking the worse picture! lol I will keep reading now.

  22. It was so refreshing/mind-blowing reading your blog about this ‘short affair’. I’ve been reading your blog for more than a year now and by far I think this is the best entry.

  23. omg this is my first comment ever ive been reading your blog for almost a year now plus you kept hs identity like mr.big in sex and the city, and this one is really sweet and sad at the same time plus you kept his identity like mr.big in sex and the city, love you bb:)
    you can keep me here aaawwwww ^.^

  24. confusedgirl

    How did you guys even do it? I honestly don’t know how gay guys have sex. Can someone enlighten me?

  25. oh bryan that’s the best advice you can give to someone. you took all the juice out of the situation and now you have to leave… couldn’t you stay with him? why is it that you always have affairs with guys you won’t ever see again?

  26. I know all about tears on the plane..I was in Guadalajara, Mexico recently, met a dream come true, then had to leave. *sniffs*

  27. B, I left Shanghai this morning with the same kinda blues. There’s this thing about foreign men in China. They’re sweet, addictive and meant to just be so. And we’re left intoxicated with fast love. It’s hard to get back to the real world, isn’t it?

  28. OH MY GOD GURL!!!
    (im one of those fag hags from third world too;)
    KEEP GOING YOU BITCH……………………….
    LOVE YAH..

  29. sarah27th

    Oh BB, this post reminds me of Ethan Hawke’s movie Before Sunrise.. well, somehow. Watch it if you haven’t yet =)
    Although bittersweet, I’m happy you have something to look back to. Always stay grand b*tch!

  30. davidruiz

    awww, im glad for you bryanboy!!! sorry :( it was fast but thats better than had never met him right?

  31. The Prophet

    omg! this is nothing less than butterflies! savour it, B, savour it! all the emotions, all the drama, all the tears, all the chuchubelles! xoxo

  32. These are the types of entries that kept me scrolling through your pages, losing sleep at night.
    Great to know you’re still Human, bryanboy =D

  33. InFlight – 63k
    …. not to mention Copenhagen is VERY fashion forward! Denmark becomes you! ;)

  34. OMG im kind-of-in-the-same-situation as bryan boy, ok so theres this guy from abroad he went here in the “third world” to do some charity work and hes only stayig for 1 month and 20 days. For 2 weeks since he arrived IM having the best time with him (i think im in love with him) but theres a problem. there are hints telling me his gay and hints telling me his not but i sure hope he is cause im so in love with him right now. We just had dinner last night (only the 2 of us) and the way he looked and talked to me IM SURE HE MIGHT BE GAY but i dont wanna assume that he is. IM SO FREAKING CONFUSED if i should assume that he is gay or stop this feeling with him because maybe hes not (cuz if his not, ill be damned hurt) either way im in love with the guy……… only 33 days left and hes going back to his country and were still not sure of each other I dont wanna be like others who didnt take the chance and let the person whom they felt was THE ONE go. i REALLY WANNA TELL HIM that i have feelings for him but WHAT IF HE IS NOT GAY and tells me that he only sees me as a friend…… gosh what to do? only 33 days left…..

  35. “YOU CAN KEEP ME HERE” is soooo ugh! I’m a loss for words…
    it’s better than Edward Cullen’s rhetoric lines…
    oh well, too bad it ended too soon… :)

  36. Oh it’s been an age since I hit up the site that taught me what feltching means. Haha!
    It’s sounds like you had a fabulous time. I agree with you clubs are for losing inches not sucking them though your night sounds oh so sweet.

  37. aww.. shucks.. love is the hardest for our kind, but good thing is we have bigger brains to help us decide what to keep and what to remember..

  38. it’s really nice that you said this in public :) i mean, letting people a little deeper. i hope it goes well with mr. dk

  39. Bryan Boy winter MMIX limited edition.
    Great post Mr Boy.
    “Winter always turns to Spring.”
    Go to Copenhagen this Spring…
    Have high hopes for making a brighter future in 2009.

  40. hi BB! fan here, I think that last message he sent was dead serious, more like from his heart… Yeah, nothing is permanent but GAWD im happy for you someone saw something deep in you.. soo nice. memory worth remembering. TC!

  41. I have been living in Copenhagen for almost two years now and I haven’t met a Dane who said that to me.
    I liked your story.

  42. this brought a tear to my eye. it’s always great to have life-changing experiences. love you BB.

  43. andrei.c

    I had a good sleep though. Waking up next to a man with his arms around you and your face buried in his chest is better than the pleasure of maxing out your credit cards at Chanel, hands down.
    So Fucking true! haaaay.

  44. Oh hun, I’ve definitely had that type of thing go down before. It’s weird. I fly around too much to ever be tied down to someone for even more than a goddamn week. That’s super-cute though. I can definitely step up to the stand and say that Danish men are HOTT!

  45. its amazing to come across a blog with human emotions which we all hardly finds now in this virtual world.
    just to let you know you are never alone in this=)

  46. hi BB! I’ve been reading your blogs for quite sometime now and i honestly have to say i really like reading them.
    I have the same problems too, i get easily attached to people, knowing that you’ll end up hurting in the end. That’s why i try not to do one-nighters. I won’t lie, i’ve done it before, and as sexually gratifying it felt to me, in the end i know it won’t go anywhere, just lust outburst period.
    And yes, if there’s anything better than maxing out your card/s to Chanels and Valentinos, its pure love. I got touched reading this :) i hope you find your true love…other than fashion :) (PS. sorry if my reply was days long:) )

  47. BB, I know exactly how you feel as I am having a similar thing going on right now. It’s kind of bittersweet and like u said even with these modern technologies around, it doesn’t compare to the elation you feel when you wake up in the morning and the first thing u see is him beside you. But everything is transitory. All we can do is cherish the moments we had. I don’t wanna sound too farfetch but fate works in odd ways.=)

  48. aaawww! this is like the first time reading an entry about love chorvas.. from you!
    oh well thats life!

  49. omg BB i know this is like weeks after this post, but my friends told me abt it and so i read it, and GO GET HIM BACK BB, its so cute and romantic and “YOU CAN KEEP ME HERE” omg you can’t possibly meet someone like that again?

  50. Severina

    I love your conclusion. –>its going to my fave quotes, because I can totally relate. :(
    p.s. love the blog.

  51. Erich

    THIS WAS TH EBEST LOVE STORY I HAVE HEARD IN A LONG TIME. Rare;y do I type in caps. But this was divine.

  52. waleng

    I am with y0u, Bryanb0y! Lol.. Can’t blame y0u if y0u’re falling (if that were the case) f0r Mr. D. Had been with a guy wh0 really kept me like his jewel. He w0uld really bury my face 0n his chest, hugging me and saying, “Diyan ka nalang muna hanggang sa umaga.” That felt s0 heaven! We’ve been separated f0r a year n0w since I m0ved here in the US, leaving him in PI, and I still l0ng f0r that kind 0f c0mf0rt fr0m him. (T_T) S0 I really am with y0u, BB.
    0h, BTW, never th0ught I was g0nna l0ve y0ur bl0g!

  53. I just found out about your blog maybe 3 hours ago and I have read every post so far, haha. This is by far the cutest thing ever dude. I have had a very similar experience, and there is always the future. And yeah your last bit is toootally true. : )

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