Obsession du jour: Sydney Harbour Bridge

I’ve been watching far too many videos on YouTube recently and the Sydney Harbour Bridge caught my eye. Climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge… who knew?

Holy kangaroo drunk on BYOB sheila jackeroo batman, can you imagine the photo opportunities? I have a fear of heights but OMG, I wanna climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge! For realz! The only thing that’s turning me off is that hideous jumpsuit. I bet that jumpsuit stinks like hell. I bet they stink like sweaty poms fresh from Heathrow airport. You see, I have major problems with rented "sports" things. In my short lifespan of 19 years (thank you Conde Nast), I found myself in numerous situations where I had to rent smelly "gear". For instance, when I got my scuba diving open water course card back in the ages, the jumpsuit I borrowed stank like onions. And when I went ice skating two years ago, the roller skates I had were so awful I doused my feet with rubbing alcohol before and after I skated. I don’t see myself climbing the Harbour Bridge anytime soon but if I do… what would I wear?

Well, click click click for the answer!

Before I tell you what I’m gonna wear, let’s do a little flashback.

For the longest time, I obsessed about going to the Great Wall of China.

When it finally happened, I milked the opportunity for what it’s worth. Check out the lady in the white jacket and where she’s looking at. THIS IS HOW YOU DO FIERCE.

People often tell me how ridiculous I am for wearing Yves Saint Laurent men’s Johnny boots with HEELS but whatevs. What should I wear? Flats?

Hello. The other lady tourist behind me had to do a "LOOK AT ME I’M AT THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA" pose but hell, all I had to do was stand there with my starbucks (how hilarious) and I look miles fiercer than her. I know right?

Yes, modesty is indeed one of my best traits. Hahaha. Just kidding.

Enough about China and more about Sydney!

Now.

I like to fantasize because it’s free and as John Galliano said, dreaming is so much better than reality because reality is overrated.

If ever I get to climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge in this lifetime, I ain’t gonna wear that crazy jumpsuit. I’m gonna call my BFF Donatella and ask if she could lend me this jumpsuit from the Versace Spring/Summer 2008 collection.

Check it out. Suvi Kopponen wore it and she’s look #3.

Isn’t it grand?

And because I LOVE the idea of torturing myself, I’ll get Christian Louboutin to customize THESE shoes to make them match my lovely Versays jumpsuit.

I know, right? Give me those shoes and I’ll show you that I could walk in them!!

Once I’m on top of the bridge, I’ll play ballerina, put one of my legs on top of the rails and pose like this.

Can you beat that?

Climbing the bridge takes 3.5 hours and includes a climber certificate and group photo. It costs AU$179 to climb the bridge on a weekday according to BridgeClimb Sydney. Unfortunately, I don’t see my little fantasy happening any time soon even Mandy Moore and Harry Potter wore those suits.

The $64 million question is… who’s gonna make it happen? Who’s gonna make FETCH happen?

Donatella is dat chu?

Answers on a postcard…