And thar she goes!!!

Written By bryanboy

Loose Canon on Deck!!!

Romaine: how old are you?
Me: I’m fifteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen
Derek: YOU ARE *NOT* FIFTEEN!!!!!!!!!!

And thar she goes! Do you have 20 minutes to spare? I don’t know about you but if you’re a masochist willing to torture your senses, why not listen to my radio appearance yesterday at the Derek & Romaine show? Yes!! The folks at Gay Bloggies sent me a recording. I know my screeching voice is god damn annoying but what can I do? I, myself, I’m also annoyed with my voice. Listening to it makes me want to stab myself in the throat. Not once, not twice, but 300 times! It’s the same voice that was blasted all across America on satellite radio but whatevs.

Apparently, EVERYONE on Gay Bloggies thinks I’m the biggest threat. Nothing new there I guess. I mean hello, EVERYWHERE I GO, people always think I’m threatening. I’m harmless, promise! WHY ARE PEOPLE SO INSECURE OF ME AND MY OWN INSECURITIES? Is it right for insecure people to be insecure of an insecure person with lots of insecurities? LOL. 


Bryanboy at Derek & Romaine Radio Show on Sirius Satellite Radio

Me: I’m fat. I weigh 127 pounds!
Romaine:
My baby weighs 127 pounds
Derek: I ate 127 pounds today
Me: I’ve been eating sausages and lettuce.

It’s no secret I suck when it comes to public speaking… that, and my English is atrocious. Who cares? Hello, I’m not American, Canadian, British (Welsh people don’t count), Irish, Australian and New Zealander.  I’m ching chong china man remember? Anyway, I always sound like a condescending whore… on crack… in all of my tv/radio/whatever interviews. Oh how I wish I was eloquent and articulate… but then again… maybe, just maybe, the fact that I cannot say what I want to say (orally at least) is the reason why I have a blog?

I had fun doing yesterday’s interview. I love the last bit when I said goodbye and they all made these fun, snipy comments on how people in the third world prefer "developing nation" over "third world" because it makes them feel better. True dat. HAHAHAHA! Oh and how I’m soo gay even gay people want to gay bash me… and how I look like a 9 year old girl. Fabulous. GOD DAMN MONEY WELL SPENT Y’ALL!

I looovvvvve!

PS. I’ll give a special prize if you manage to count the number of times I said "you know". MUST. GET. RID. OF. THAT. DIRTY. HABIT.

You know? ;)

0 Comments

  1. oh please. you can get away with it bryan. speaking of being “eloquent”, I think you’re “I haven’t even had sex for ages TV moment” turns one tomorrow. Yup, the third world 2008 Gay Pride Parade is on.

  2. pa-humble effect! it won’t work on you my dear.
    everything about you online (both positive and negative) is fake. your tricks are fake, everything you do is fake even your accent is fake (will somoene who KNOWS bryan confirm if that’s the way he talks?)
    you’re smart, you’re entertaining and amusing so that i’ll hand it to you so quit the ditzy dumb act..

  3. fozzzziie

    Oh okay. Bryanb, remember that even westerners who spoke english as their first language are suck even if they speak english.. even americans have poor grammar when they wrote essays. trust me. they spoke well but they suck bigg time when they write…
    so yeah..
    anyway to all this hatred.
    you (probably) and i believe negative remarks one, one step to make anywho popular, no? so yeah, KEEP THOSE HATRED ALIVE ya’ll…

  4. Esterella

    Why didn’t you loose your temper with Derek and Romaine? What boring gay geeks. This has really tarnished your image, talking for so long with such windbags. You should’ve hung up on them, or verbal abused them.

  5. can’t agree with you more BB, stick with blogging. you are ATROCIOUS when you speak; the voice, the lack of anything intelligent to say.

  6. esterella, don’t take that show seriously. everything is in jest. i think they’re hilarious — i couldn’t stop myself from laughing throughout the entire time i was on the phone. ;)

  7. omg
    maddie i was only kidding. i LOVE welsh people!!! i’ve been to cardiff thrice when i was in my teens and everyone was nice!!

  8. oh please. you can get away with it bryan. those 2 are fucking annoying though.
    you should really win the bloggies. the other bloggers put me in a temporary coma with their posts.
    speaking of being “eloquent”, I think your “I haven’t even had sex for ages TV moment” turns one tomorrow. Yup, the third world 2008 Gay Pride Parade is on.

  9. Anonymous

    I loved it!! And I like your voice..I don’t know many people who like hearing their own voices, I sure as hell don’t like mine!!

  10. Mr.Vanko

    Dereck & Romaine, never heard of them and never wish to heard back, they seemed very pretentious, they where annoying to hear and you did a great performance.

  11. i’ve tried ten million times in the last week to give my thumbs up your ass at the gay bloggies site, to no avail. apparently, ‘it’s unavailable’. that’s bull crap, even more so coz i’m sacrificing my precious time for a good, charitable cause.

  12. i’ve tried ten million times in the last week to give my thumbs up your ass at the gay bloggies site, to no avail. apparently, ‘it’s unavailable’. that’s bull crap, even more so coz i’m sacrificing my precious time for a good, charitable cause.

  13. Ad Nauseam

    Um, your English is awesome. Just sayin’. I think that you write extremely well even for someone for whom it is a first language.

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